Bekka figured by the time she reached her eighties, she’d be wearing glasses thick as bottle caps and chewing through a second set of dentures.
“Lord, why can’t I get past Stephen? Certainly there’s no future for us? Is there?” She thought about how well they’d worked together on the video. He’d been an invaluable helper.
Stephen hadn’t said what he hoped to do with his future. She’d always assumed he’d be stuck to Ethan like glue. Would Haley mind too much that Ethan came with such a side-kick?
Ethan seemed so disheartened when they found his truck. Had her brother honestly had enough of his friend’s antics? Would he really tell Stephen to return to New York? He’d said Haley wouldn’t let him. After the way Stephen had treated her so coldly at first, why would she stick up for him now?
Maybe she saw something the rest of them were too weary to see?
“Why, I thought that was you. Ethan’s sister, correct?” Mrs. Alton had somehow managed to sneak up on her while she’d been staring off across the quiet waters, lost in thought.
“Bekka. Yes, he’s my brother.” She stood and shook the woman’s warm hands that grasped onto hers. She wore a big floppy straw hat, tied down with a colorful scarf that matched her cotton white shirt.
“I would swear the two of you were twins, but he assured me that you were the eldest Winters child. Would you like to join us, dear? No need for you to sit here all alone when there’s food and drinks over in the shade.”
“Oh no, I wouldn’t want to interrupt your party.”
Mrs. Alton waved her hands in dismissal. “Oh, this is our bi-weekly social time. Since the weather turned nice, we decided to take it outdoors. Visitors are always welcomed, though you’ll have to watch out for Mr. Bart. He’s a real flirt with the pretty ladies.” She covered her laughter with a hand over her mouth.
“Thank you. But I do need to return to the inn. I promised Haley that I would help tonight. They’ve had more business than they can handle it seems. Which I suppose is a good thing.”
Mrs. Alton gave a quick nod. “That girl will find a way to work it out. She’s just like her grandma.” She pointed at her chest. “My sister. Emma Rose always found a way to make things happen in her favor.” She glanced down at Bekka’s camera. “I suppose you came out here for the scenery? I see you’re a photographer.”
“Yes, ma’am. I hope you don’t mind. I captured some pictures of you dancing with your husband. You both made for wonderful subjects.”
“Ah, thank you. I’ve been lucky to have found two wonderful men to love in my life. My first husband traveled the globe working for a world mission corporation. At first, I was terrified to leave my home and family. But then, love won me over. Sometimes you just have to take a risk and leap off that safe cliff. God will catch us if we’re in danger.”
Would He? Bekka swallowed the warmth growing in her throat. What if she fell for the wrong person? What if she made the wrong choice? Chose the wrong path?
Mrs. Alton patted her chest. “In Psalms 55, we’re told to cast our cares on the Lord and he will sustain us, he will never let the righteous be shaken. I carried that promise all over the world with me. And you know what? He never lies, dear. We can count on His promise to catch us.”
Later that afternoon, when Bekka returned to the inn after an enlightening visit with Mrs. Alton and friends, she found the garden room buzzing with activity. The big lump laid out on the couch, snoring quietly, turned out to be Stephen.
Looking around to see if anyone paid her any attention, she touched his bicep and found his skin cool. Carefully pulling the afghan off the back of the couch, she laid it over him. He stirred. Her breath held, then released when his soft snores continued.
She fought back the urge to brush his hair, usually spiked up, off his forehead. With a sigh, she forced her feet to move toward the staircase and to her room. She needed to change into something nice, but comfortable for tonight and freshen herself up. The dresser mirror’s reflection told her she’d spent too long in the sun today. Red colored her cheeks and forehead. A little moisturizer should help that, along with some base. At least she’d look alive tonight, instead of dead like she felt on the inside.
When she finally entered the kitchen a half hour later, she almost considered turning around and running while she had the chance. Ethan and Nick Prater were busy folding utensils into paper napkins. Haley was mixing something in a blender while Leon hefted a large slab of blackened meat onto a cutting board.
“Quarter inch slices, got it? We’ll keep them in a pan of juices so they don’t dry out in the ovens.”
“I got it, Miss Haley. This isn’t my first rodeo either, boss.” His mocking drawl brought a scowl from his boss that quickly turned into a grin as she threw a damp towel at him.
“Hush, you. Mr. Smarty pants.” Haley turned and hollered through the opened dining doors, “Eh, Sweet Sage, where are you, darlin’?” When she saw Bekka, she waved her over. “Never mind. Would you take this and wake up our sleeping prince? Tell him to drink the whole glass down. He should be feeling better by now, but I know for a fact he hasn’t eaten anything since breakfast. That has protein in it to get him going.”
Bekka took the glass and sniffed it. Tomatoes, something spicy and bits of green mixed in. “What—?”
“A secret recipe. Learned it from my ol’ boss lady who ran a ranch down in Loraine, Texas. It’ll cure whatever ails you. Especially if what ails you is a wild time the night before.” She waved her hands at Bekka. “Go get him stirring. Going to need him in top form tonight.”
“Okay.” She took the glass out to the living room. For a moment she considered pouring it over Stephen’s fool head, but one look at his pale face sent her sorry, pathetic heart into overdrive. Darn him! Even sleeping he was handsome and alluring.
She sat on the edge of the coffee table made from a section of a rather large tree trunk. “Hey, wake up. You’re snoring like a hibernating bear.”
He shifted, pulling the blanket tighter against his chest. “Am not. I don’t snore.”
“Ha. I beg to differ.” She grabbed his arm and gave him another shake. He sure had bulked up over the years. “Time to get up, lazy. Haley will open her restaurant soon. She told me to have you drink this. All of it.”
He peeped open one eye and cringed. “That stuff was awful. Burned all the way down to my gut!” He swore as he pushed himself up to a sitting position. “Though I will say my head doesn’t hurt anymore, and my stomach isn’t churning like a washing machine.”
“Well, then I suppose it worked. Drink some more. It’s going to be a long night, I’m afraid.”
His voice sounded raw, probably like his insides. “Last night was… I must be insane agreeing to do this again.” He pinched his nose and gulped down half the glass. “Oh, my… holy—”
“Watch it,” Bekka warned, knowing well enough what was probably coming next.
“That burns. What’s in this?” He swiped at his watery eyes and started to put the glass down when Bekka stopped him with a warning glare.
“Probably some of her peppers. Who knows? But she swears it works. So be a good boy and drink it all down.”
Stephen checked his watch. “Oh man, she let me sleep too late. I’m going to need a shower.” He stood and set the glass down to refold the blanket and lay it back on the couch. He started to walk off when Bekka reminded him to take the hangover concoction with him.
“Walk me outside.” He snatched up the glass. “I want to talk to you a moment while we have a chance.”
She stood frozen in place, her arms circled tightly around her middle. Did she really want to do this? Yesterday she’d blurted out something she never should have. After all he’d been through, surely he’d forgotten all about it. She hoped.
“Please?” He held out his hand, beckoning. “Just a few minutes. Besides, you need to make sure I finish this, right?”
Bekka rolled her eyes. He reached for her hand and pulled he
r toward the front door. Outside, he walked along the porch to the side of the house facing the barn. Haley’s room opened up at the front corner. Her dog Wally lay in a fading beam of sunshine on the circular veranda outside the bedroom’s French doors.
“Did you enjoy your date last night?”
Was he really asking that? Why did he care?
She shrugged one shoulder. “Not really a date, date. He gave me a ride on his boat. I took pictures. We stopped at Mallory’s for dinner.” Her voice caught at the diner owner’s name. She stared hard at him, wanting to see if he had any kind of reaction. Ethan called her after worship practice. Not that it was any of her business. But she still had to wonder how he ended up at Mallory’s apartment despite how he insisted he’d changed.
She needed not to care if he changed or not. Though she did.
“Must have been a date if you… um…”
Her eyes widened once she realized what he was getting at. Her mouth opened to answer, but any words she might have used to respond had somehow clogged up in her throat.
“Listen, I… uh…” Stephen drank down the last of the juice and set the empty glass on the railing. Swiping his hand across his mouth, he blew out a long breath, then seemed to gain whatever steam he needed to chug ahead. “I want a chance to explain myself. You must think I’m a total-”
She held up her hand to stop him. “Actually, Ethan already explained what happened. I’m grateful you weren’t hurt, Stephen.”
He leaned against one of the rails, arms folded across his chest. “I’m so sorry. I know you keep hearing that from me, but I—”
“You’re only hurting yourself.” That wasn’t completely true.
“Right. Who cares about me, anyway?” He laughed, but it came out mocking, and she knew he didn’t mean it humorously.
“We do.” That was the truth. He was still a good friend of the family. She did care about him. Just more than she needed to.
“Do you, Bekka?” He moved a step closer and caught her hand.
She tried to laugh him off. Why did he care what she thought anyway? “I should get back inside—”
“Don’t forget your promise, Rebekka.”
She stopped and turned to face him. “What promise?”
He rolled his blues. “You promised to go with me tomorrow. Remember our road trip?”
When she continued to stare at him, dumbfounded, he folded his arms across his chest and narrowed his eyes at her. “You promised! You can’t back out now. I really need you, hon. Tell me you’re still coming?”
Then she remembered. He wanted to go see a friend play in a nearby town. He’d asked her to bring what she had of the video. Was this just a pleasure trip, or did he have one of his schemes in the works? Should she be happy or cautious about going?
“Come on, it’ll be fun, I promise. Just don’t tell Ethan. Not yet. I don’t want to get his hopes up, and if he knows I’m going to see Gerald, he’ll know I’m up to something. He’s got enough worries on his plate.”
“Just what exactly are you planning?” Bekka asked, moving a step closer to him.
His grin widened. “Gerald is a longtime acquaintance of ours. We used to play gigs together back in college. I noticed on his website he was looking into recording his own music. Something he can sell at his gigs. You know? Anyway, I contacted him and asked if he’d found a studio yet. He replied that there hasn’t been any place he can afford. So, I’m going to go show him what we’re doing here. See if I can’t offer him a deal he can’t refuse.”
Bekka held up her hands, palms out. “Wait. Wait. You’re going to do this without Ethan’s approval?”
“He’ll approve. We’ve talked about ways to draw people out here. Thing is, Gerald has a lot of great connections. I think he’ll be willing to help us out. If we can help him out.”
“You should tell—”
“No, listen.” His hands rested on her shoulders. “Not until I talk to Gerald first. I have my reasons. Will you please just come? If it doesn’t work out, Ethan doesn’t have to know anything. I don’t want to see him get any more discouraged before he even really gets started. I know he’s hopeful but unsure. And let’s face it, Beks. He’s been really stressed lately. Between this and your parents coming in the next couple of weeks. He’s…”
“True. He hasn’t really been himself, has he?” She took a step back, hating the coldness that washed over her when she moved from under his warm grasp. “After church, right? How should I dress?”
“Just whatever you wear to church will be fine. We’ll grab a snack on the way there, but have dinner at the tavern he’s playing at. It’s a nice establishment, I promise. And I’m treating since you’re my guest.”
“Fine. I’ll go. You’re driving, too. I’ll ride to church with Ethan and Haley.”
His face brightened so much she had to laugh at his excitement. “Thank you.” He planted a quick kiss on her forehead.
Instead of Stephen seeming shocked over his exuberant reaction, his smile broadened. Then he winked before turning away and heading off the deck. “See you in a bit. Remember, not a peep to E-man about this. We’ll surprise him if we come back with good news.”
Bekka stared after him for a long while, her forehead tingling where he’d placed that quick peck. Strange how that quick kiss did more to her senses than the actual kiss she’d given Bob Beaty.
Lord, help me. Stephen still has my still heart, and I don’t think I’ll ever get it back from him.
Chapter Thirteen
Stephen sat at the church piano, his fingers drifting softly over the keys of the baby grand. They’d made it through two songs. Now someone stood beside the stage, talking to the congregation. The band kept the music going but at a lower volume.
He glanced at Ethan who swayed with his violin, eyes closed, lost in his music and probably praying. Daring a glance at the audience, he caught sight of Haley’s golden curls before his gaze landed on Bekka, both arms raised with her face tilted up to the ceiling. She’d worn a pretty sun dress today with pink and blue flowers covering the skirt. The sweetest smile brightened her face, and he could almost swear a halo of light danced around her. Although it could be nothing more than the sunlight filtering in through the stained-glass windows. His heart lodged in his throat.
They moved into the next song. That scripture song about God knowing all His people. Stephen shook his head, holding back the urge to chuckle. Except the laugh stuck in his throat like a bone.
Hadn’t the lady with the trembling voice just talked about a shepherd who’d leave the flock and search for the one lost? There was something about God seeking those who wandered along the outside. Would God care enough to come after me?
As if a real God would do something like that. They were nice stories.
He hated the way this place caused sweat to pour down his neck. What was that about? Maybe the lights shining onto the stage. Ray Jordan stood on Ethan’s right. He gave him a nod of encouragement. Far as Stephen knew, Ray hadn’t breathed a word about having to nurse him through that awful drunk the other night.
“You have laid your hand upon me…” The congregation sang the words from the Bible scripture.
The words sent shivers down his back. “You are there…”
Hey God, are you? Are you really there? How can I know, for sure?
“Your hand will hold me fast….”
Stephen closed his eyes, head bowed over the piano keys. Am I worth your time? Your attention? Would you hold me fast? I want to believe, I do. Why is it so hard?
He chanced another glance at Bekka. Her face simply glowed. Were those tears? Was she crying?
The song segued into the final one of the set, a simple ballad. The band leader was on her knees, arms stretched out as she sang about surrendering it all.
As Stephen sang the lyrics saying he wanted to know more about God, that he wanted to give his life completely over, a question bubbled up from somewhere deep inside.
Will y
ou? Will you really surrender everything to me?
Stephen’s fingers froze as he gasped. Would he? He was singing the words, but could he, did he, actually mean them? He forced himself to keep up. Those around him didn’t seem to notice his missed notes. Ethan was so lost in the song, he no longer played as he held open his arms and mouthed the words.
His friend probably meant them.
I want to mean them. I do. He glanced again at Bekka. He wanted to be a good man. Last night during all the craziness during the dinner rush, he’d seen Ethan stop what he was doing when Haley became overwhelmed. He’d held her in his arms, helping her to focus on what was really important. A couple of times he even prayed with her, asking for peace and patience. He thanked God for blessing what they were doing. Thanked Him for Haley.
Was that the kind of man Bekka wanted? Ethan learned his beliefs from Mom and Pop Winters. How do I become a man like that? He’d certainly been trying. Trying and falling on his face time and again.
Stephen’s vision fogged and he had to blink to follow the words, not that the lead singer was following them anymore. She sang for Him to have free reign in her life.
I want to do better. Be better. I’m tired of this mess of a life. I am.
Ethan’s voice rang over the others, promising surrender, asking to know God more. As if he didn’t know the Big Man enough? Was there enough?
The music finally began to die down, and the leader wrapped up with a prayer asking God to meet needs and reveal himself. “Father God, we desire to know you more. We give everything to you. Lord, have your way in each and every one of us, Father God. Amen.”
Stephen needed some air. Sweat must be drenching the back of his undershirt. Good thing he’d brought another casual one for the road trip. He needed a drink of water. His throat felt as if he’d swallowed a fiery stick. Even though the music had stopped, the song’s words pounded in his head. Over and over, it played on.
The band gathered outside the sanctuary near the coffee bar. Some grabbed water, while others filled their mugs with hot water for tea or coffee. Ethan’s hand clamped down on Stephen’s shoulder stopping his retreat toward the front doors. He just needed a bit of fresh air, to go outside for a moment in hopes of catching his breath.
Raining Fools (Madison Creek Bed & Breakfast Book 2) Page 14