Another line jiggled. This time, Stephen reeled it in while Ray maneuvered the net bringing in a smaller one. They agreed a couple more wouldn’t hurt.
Ray brought out a couple of sodas and they returned to their chairs. A few minutes passed and Stephen wanted to hear more of the man’s story. It kept eating away at him like those fish nibbling their bait. “Did you face any charges for the accident?”
“No. Jim told the police he’d been the designated driver. I was ready to admit my fault, but he told me to keep my trap closed, he was handling it. The motorcycle cut us off then sped away, he’d said. He passed the breathalyzer test, so his story held, despite all the beer cans.
“But I couldn’t let go of the guilt. Every day I went through healing, I tortured myself inwardly. I became such a mess, my mother insisted I start counseling, or she would have me checked into a mental hospital.
“I haven’t had a drink since the accident. Sworn off it. I seriously wanted a change. At the time, I feared I’d never play music again and believed it served me right. A just punishment. But God… He’s not really that type. The punishment came from me. During counseling, with a licensed couple who were elders in the church, I found God wanted to love me through my mistakes, not beat me down for them.” He sipped from the can, then set it down beside his chair. “I think that was the hardest thing for me to accept.”
“What’s that?” Stephen rolled the sweaty can between his palms. Here was another one talking as if this huge God cared about the little minions populating the earth.
“God’s grace. For the longest time, I felt I needed to make restitution for what I’d done. That’s why I went to school to become a paramedic. I thought I needed to do a whole lot of good to make up for that horrible thing I’d done. But the truth is, I would never be able to pay back a life. Never.”
Stephen’s throat tightened. That was true. Once a life was gone, it was gone. He’d learned that after Dad’s suicide. All those years of guilt, wondering if he could have done more. Been there more for him instead of running away to Ethan’s house. Instead of hiding. He’d not wanted to deal with his parent’s drama. Wanted to stay as far away from it as possible.
Instead, he’d lost both parents, basically. Since his father’s funeral, he’d avoided his mother, as well, except for when circumstances demanded his attention. Such as those times Beth almost succeeded in following Dad.
He cringed. No matter what he did, he’d never make up for all the wrongs. Never.
Ray started to stand when another pole twitched, but it must have been the wind because he leaned back in the chair. “Anyway, I graduated and started working for the town. Guess that was about three years ago. Found no matter how many lives I saved, Cindy still haunted my dreams. I was just getting into counseling at this time. Elder Garret told me during one session that God made us human, and He isn’t caught off guard when we acted the part. He accepts our humanness. Expects it. Because in our weakness, He’s made strong. In our shortcomings, He’s glorified.”
Stephen had heard this kind of talk before. He stared at the fishing poles, wondering once again if this was just something people said who couldn’t handle reality.
Or could it honestly be so simple? Giving God everything. Wiping your hands clean and letting this Supreme Being take care of everything? How did one even…?
“Anyway,” Ray continued, breaking Stephen’s train of thought. “I went to work one night with those thoughts on my mind. Wouldn’t you know, we were called out to an accident on the interstate? A snow storm blew through, causing a ten car collision. I pulled one victim out and was working with everything I had to keep her breathing. A young girl who looked a lot like my Cindy. Couldn’t have been more than fifteen.” He yanked the bill of the cap lower over his eyes. “She didn’t make it. Died right there in my arms. And all that hurt came crashing back down on me. My captain, seeing the emotional state I was in, ordered me to ride back to town in one of the ambulances.”
Stephen waited, His heart pounded like a drummer at a rock concert.
“Thought that was the end of my career. I climbed in one and tried to help the attendant with the victim, but he told me to just sit back and let him do his work. The man’s wife was riding along. She was sobbing. I tried my best to comfort her. She wanted to know if I was a praying man. I certainly was trying. I’d given my life back to God by that time. So I held her hand and prayed all the way back into town. As I helped her out of the back of the ambulance, she hugged me and thanked me for helping her remember that God was in control.” Ray’s voice cracked, and he quickly cleared his throat. “And that He was a good God, and she wasn’t in this alone. Everything would work out just as it was supposed to.”
Ray grew quiet. For a few minutes, they both sat watching the poles tremble in the wind. Hadn’t Bekka said something similar? About how God didn’t keep a person out of trouble. Instead, He walked through that trouble with them.
Digging into the cooler, Ray produced another soda and a bag of peanuts. He offered Stephen some, which he took. While he cracked a few in his hands, his phone rang with Ethan’s song.
He checked the message: Can we talk when you get home?
Would this be the, This isn’t working out, and you need to go back to New York, talk?
“Problem?” Ray asked, then held up his hands. “Not that it’s any of my business. I’m just going on your expression.”
Stephen shook his head. “Just Ethan.”
“Again, it’s none of my business, but he didn’t seem himself this morning. Matter-of-fact, he actually looked pretty angry, which startled me at first. Don’t think I’ve ever seen that man without a grin on his face.”
A scoffing laugh burst from Stephen before he could stop it. “I seem to bring out the worst in him sometimes.”
“You been friends long?”
“Yeah.” Stephen slipped the phone back into his pocket. “He’s been closer than a brother. Got me through some really rough times.” He held up his can in a salute. “But we both know what kind of guy I can be. You did nurse me through a very bad drunk just a few nights ago.”
Ray chuckled in response. “Mallory is really good to me and makes sure I’m properly fed when I’m home from work. She’s good friends with my wife, who’s away serving in the military at the moment.”
Stephen spun to face him. “Wait! You’re married? I… missed that part of the story.”
“I didn’t finish it.” He gulped down the rest of the soda with a big grin.
“Please do.”
Ray tossed the empty can into a grocery bag he’d brought along. “Remember the woman in the ambulance I was telling you about?”
“Yes.”
“She’s now my mother-in-law. It was her youngest daughter that died. They were just moving to town when they were in the accident. She and I kind of helped each other through our grief. I never understood what leaning on God meant until I met Sally Chogan. What a mighty rock of a woman.” He shifted in his seat so he faced Stephen a little more. “Her husband, who you might know as Pastor John, was pretty damaged in the wreck. I was so drawn to that family that I kept checking in on them while John went through rehab. He was in the same center I’d gone to.
Stephen’s mouth dropped. “The Pastor John from…” He almost said our church, but it wasn’t his. He didn’t do the church stuff.
“I went over to their new house after the funeral. Someone from church mentioned I could play the guitar. John and Sally wanted to sing some of their daughter’s favorite songs in her honor and asked if I’d play. I gave it a try. Was rusty, but able to bang out a few tunes for them. The oldest daughter, oh man, she sang along, and I fell in love that very night.
“Katy had just enlisted in the Marines before we met. For the next year, we courted. Once her training was done, I asked her to marry me. We married a month later. When we returned from our honeymoon, she was called overseas to serve. She’ll return later this summer.”
&n
bsp; Stephen slid his sunglasses onto his forehead. “Wow. So you’re a married bachelor?”
“Well, I’m never alone. I’ve become good friends with the Lord during the past couple of years. And she’s a strong believer too. We talk all the time. Skype when we can. I miss her, but I keep busy between work and church.”
“And fishing.”
“Guy’s gotta have an escape, or he’ll go nuts,” Ray grinned.
“That might explain why I feel like I’m going nuts lately. Not much fun going on except the kind that ends up creating a big mess.” Stephen turned in his chair and faced Ray. “I can’t thank you enough for taking care of me, man. What a rough night. Can’t believe I was suckered like that. And I know better.” He rubbed his hands over his face. “Ethan probably thought it was justice served.”
“Doubtful,” Ray grinned with a slow shake of his head. “Ethan Winters looks for the best in a situation and in people. Don’t find many like him. He’s a great friend to have, I’m sure.”
“He is.” And before Stephen knew it, he opened a vein and practically bled out his whole sordid past right there on the pier. “Wish I could say I’ve been half the friend that he’s been to me.” Stephen glanced up to find the sun was straight overhead now. His stomach rumbled. “Think we have enough for a fish fry, Ray?” Maybe bringing home fresh fish for dinner would make for a nice peace-offering.
Then he remembered Ethan’s text. “I completely forgot to respond to him.” He dug out his phone and found three more messages from his friend.
I got a call from Gerald and Rusty Crows. Remember him?
Please don’t ignore me to pay me back for yelling at you this morning. We need to talk. Srsly.
“I better give him a call. Can you give me a moment? Then I’ll help you get this stuff packed in the truck.”
Ray waved him off. “Don’t sweat it. I’ll take care of this. You make your call. Let him know we caught salmon and trout.”
The first time he called, the phone went to voicemail. He knew Ethan had his phone on him, so he dialed again. Hopefully, he wasn’t playing his own ignore card.
On the fourth ring, Ethan answered, practically yelling over the sound of a motor. “What’s going on that you can’t answer my texts?”
“Dude, sorry. I got all caught up in Ray telling me his story. Then we kept catching fish. He wants to know if you’re interested in trout and salmon for dinner. You and I can probably grill them.”
The motor died. “Wow, fish sounds perfect. Haven’t had trout in, I don’t even know when. Maybe taking care of dinner will get me back on Haley’s good… uh, never mind. I’ll get the grill going. This will be fun. I need some fun.”
What was E-man leaving out? “Okay, mind if I invite Ray? After dinner, we’ll have a chance to talk.”
“Yes! Do that.” Then Ethan went on to tell him about the calls he’d received. “I still can’t believe you went behind my back to go see Gerald, but… it’s going to work out. I can’t thank you enough. Seriously. And Bekka… You’re right. She has to make her own choices. I… well, we’ll talk. She says the video is almost finished.”
Stephen smiled, his worries easing back a few steps. “It is going to be great. Gerald flipped when he saw it. Wait until you hear who else I plan to contact.”
Ethan’s tone mellowed. “We’re going to do this, aren’t we?”
“We certainly can, Winters. If you… um, want the help.”
For a moment, the line remained quiet before he answered, “Absolutely. We’re partners. We’ll work it all out. See you soon.”
Stephen ended the call, his smile widening. Today had been nice. It felt good to do something that didn’t end up in some kind of fiasco.
Ethan wanted to keep working with him, not send him away. He certainly didn’t deserve that, that… grace? Was his friend able to be so forgiving because of his beliefs? He believed in a good God. Maybe Stephen needed to examine this more. As he slipped his phone into his back pocket, he went to help Ray lug the gear to his truck.
“Everything okay?” Ray asked.
“Yeah. Ethan is excited about the fish. We’d like you to join us for dinner.”
Ray grinned. “As I said, he’s patient and kind. I’m sure the promise of fresh fish helped.”
“Ha! Yeah maybe.”
Ray chuckled. “Will need to take a rain check on that invite. Maybe I’ll pop in some Saturday night and see you play your cello. I’m not really a classical fan, but…” He shrugged.
Stephen pushed his sunglasses up onto his forehead with a grin. “This Saturday. I’ll reserve you a table. Dinner’s on me. You’ll be pleasantly surprised. And we don’t only play classical. My cello can rip.”
Ray promised to be there. They climbed into his truck, and Ray took the back roads around town that led to the Madison farm. Soon they were on a winding country road to a part of town Stephen hadn’t been to yet. A few scattered farms housed cows or other livestock. Fields full of wildflowers spread out along both shoulders.
Ray slowed and took a dirt road past a field of cherry trees. “There was one thing I wanted to ask you about. And I’m sure I’ll be way out of line, but I’m going to throw caution to the wind. I’ve heard enough of your story now to feel it’ll be worth the risk.”
“Go ahead and ask. I won’t take offense. You cleaned up my puke, dude. Think you earned the title of friend, don’t you?”
His smile was genuine as he nodded. “Absolutely.”
The truck came to a stop, and Stephen recognized the country highway leading out to the Victorian perched on a hill about half a mile down the road.
“Well,” Ray continued. “I have a feeling that there’s more causing friction between you and Ethan than just a few immature pranks. I’m thinking there’s a conflict over his sister, whom I might add, he seems rather protective of.”
Stephen sat straighter. “Why would you make that assumption?”
“You talk a lot when you’re drunk. And I do mean, a lot. You seemed really concerned how Ethan would react when he found out how you were feeling about… Bekka, right?”
Stephen gave a nod of affirmation. “I really talked about her?”
“Yeah, afraid so. Didn’t seem to think you’d ever get,” he shook his finger as if searching for the right words, “how did you say it? Get your act together? Enough to make up for all you’d done. And that E-man, which I guess is your nickname for Ethan, will kill you this time when he finds out.”
“Oh man, I do talk a lot.” Stephen rubbed his reddening face. “Another reason I need to lay off alcohol, I guess. I’m hopeless.”
Ray laughed even harder. “I don’t think so. I shared my story so you’d know where I come from. What I wanted you to understand is that we don’t have to paddle upstream alone.”
Stephen ran his finger along the lining of the window. “I know. Ethan’s been there for me. Just sometimes I’m afraid he’s getting weary of it all. Can’t blame him.”
“That’s it, though, Stephen. Friends grow weary, but not the Lord. What I finally figured out was that God wanted me to bring my brokenness to him, you know? And that makes all the difference.” He patted his chest with his free hand. “Because then you’re truly not alone. Counseling helped me, but I was transformed when I began to really understand Christ and what he did for me. I still had to walk, still struggled, and still fought off my addictions and baggage, but no longer alone. And I just wanted to leave you with that thought.
Ray pulled into the drive and parked in the shade of the house. “The Chogans, they’re good people. If you get tired of spinning your wheels, they’ll be there to help you out. I can even talk to them about setting you up with counseling to help you deal with your family history.”
Stephen gulped, his chest burned as if he’d swallowed fire. He dragged in a ragged breath, his fingers worked over the edge of the window that poked up over the door. Finally, he managed, “I would, um, appreciate that, man. I’ve been running long eno
ugh. You’re right about that. And what I said in my drunken stupor was the honest truth. I love Bekka Winters, but I’m not, nor have I ever been, good enough for her.”
Ray glanced over at him. “Is that what she said?”
Stephen thought about it. “No, not really. I can’t seem to shake her off. And the more time I spend with her, the deeper I fall in.”
“Is she worth fighting for?”
He studied Ray for a long moment, then gave a nod. “Absolutely. She’s worth… whatever it takes.”
“Then, why wouldn’t you do whatever it takes?”
Chapter Sixteen
Haley stood at the sink rinsing the last of the dishes and putting them into the old washer she used for personal use.
Someone cleared his throat from behind her.
She turned, to find an arm sticking around the arched doorway waving a white towel. She laughed, despite her determination to not give into her handsome Yankee’s antics. He’d been trying to make amends for not keeping his promise about coming clean with his sister and Stephen.
Then he’d stormed around this morning, snapping at anyone who got too close until she sent him out to the yard and told him to go jump in the creek until he cooled off. So what if Bekka and Stephen took off for a little road trip yesterday? They were grown adults, and he needed to skin his own hides and leave others to theirs.
Ethan peered around the archway.
Biting her upper lip, she folded her wet arms and tried to put on her best glare. It didn’t work. Despite her irritation, she’d forgiven him hours ago. Who could stay mad at such a cutie-patootie?
“Bring that towel over here and help me dry these pans, you goober.”
He actually did a little jig of a dance, shaking the towel side-to-side, as he moved beside her at the sink. She let out a big laugh then, almost losing her balance as she clutched the side of the counter. “You are such a goofball.”
“Yeah,” Ethan chuckled, swatting at her with the cloth. “But you love me for it.”
Raining Fools (Madison Creek Bed & Breakfast Book 2) Page 17