by Tia Lewis
“Shut your fucking mouth!” Drake roared. “What do you think you’re going to accomplish?”
Drake wouldn’t look at me. He would only look at Hawk, and the gun in his hand. I wondered where Drake’s weapon was. He didn’t come without one, did he? There was no way he could fight Hawk off without anything.
“Well, I’m gonna get what I’ve been waiting for. I’m gonna make your club pay for what it did to my club, and I’m going to shut you down. It’s a shame you won’t be around for it.” He pulled me closer to him, speaking right into my ear. I grimaced at his nearness, at the feeling of his breath on my skin. “I decided. He’s gonna die, too. I think it’s romantic. Like Romeo and Juliet.” I let out a stifled sob. I couldn’t believe it was coming down to this. If I had only left the Blood Riders alone …
This is not your fault. It sounded like my father, which I knew was impossible, but it was the only comfort I had. If I had to imagine that his words were coming through my head, so be it. It’s not your fault. You didn’t do this. It’s him. He’s the bad guy, not you. What difference did it make when I was about to die and Drake right along with me? It didn’t exactly make me feel better.
Hawk yanked on my arm again, until I was on my knees, not ten feet from where Drake stood. Drake’s fists were clenched like he wanted to hurt Hawk but was afraid of hurting me in the process. I looked up at him through the tears in my eyes. I was fearful to speak.
“Before I kill her, I want her to tell you something.”
“What?” Drake hissed. “What’s the point of this, huh?”
“You’ll see.” Hawk pressed the gun to my temple. I whimpered. “I want you to tell him the truth. Tell him who you are.”
“Fuck you,” I spat.
“Tell him. Before you die, tell him the truth. Do it!” I could feel the cold metal from the gun pressing against my head. If I was going to die, I might as well be honest—even if he would hate me for it, which I knew he would. Because I’d lied. Everything was a lie.
“My name—”
“Tell him!” Hawk yelled.
“My name is Nicole Bluth!” I whimpered.
“Tell him everything.”
“My father was Detective Robert Bluth. I went to your club because I thought I could find information about who killed him. I already knew who you were because he used to tell me about you.”
“You hear this, Drake?” Hawk chuckled.
“I’m so sorry,” I confessed. “I’m so sorry I lied to you.”
Drake’s face didn’t fall, the way I had expected it to. Instead, he looked at me and said, “I know.”
I gasped. “What?”
“I knew it before I came here.” He looked up at Hawk. “What, did you expect me to fall apart after she confessed?”
Hawk let out a single, sharp laugh. “You knew? And you still came?”
“Yeah. I still came for her.”
“You’re so stupid!” Hawk shook his head in disbelief. “I guess you really do love her.”
Drake nodded, just once. “You’re right. I do love her.” Fresh tears flowed freely down my face. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, or that I could feel joy in the middle of my agony. He loved me.
Hawk’s hand tightened around my sore arm. “Then I guess it’ll hurt even worse when you see what I’m gonna do to her. Say goodbye.” I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the bang that would end my life.
“I’m so sorry, Drake,” I whispered.
Then I heard it. A gunshot along with the crash of broken glass. Only my life didn’t end.
When I opened my eyes, I saw Hawk standing there with his mouth hanging open and a pool of blood forming over his chest. Drake stood there, gun in hand. I didn’t know where it had come from—his waistband, I guessed. It didn’t matter. He’d saved me.
I couldn’t move, shock freezing me in place. “Let’s get the fuck out of here,” Drake said, pulling me to his side before Hawk hit the floor. He didn’t move. Suddenly, Drake went back to Hawk’s lifeless body and fired three more gunshots to his head.
“What are you doing? Drake! He’s dead! He’s dead!”
“Fuck him!” He growled, firing one last shot. “I said fuck him! You hear me?”
“Yes, yes! I hear you!”
“Anybody that touches you gets a bullet to the head!”
“Okay.” I whimpered.
Drake paused.
“Sorry … I didn’t want you to have to see that. “
“It’s just so much blood everywhere.” I wiped my eyes.
“I know, baby. It’s just something came over me—”
“I understand …”
“Are you okay?” Drake’s hands were on my face, in my hair, holding my head still while he kissed me. “Answer me. Are you okay?” He held me, then, asking me over and over if Hawk had hurt me.
“Yes … I’m fine,” I continued to sob. “I’m just overwhelmed.”
“I know.”
“I’m so sorry I lied to you.”
“It’s okay, baby. All of this is over now, okay?”
“Okay,” I nodded.
“Listen to me and listen to me good. Nothing. I mean nothing will ever happen to you again for as long as I live,” he replied, comforting me and kissing my tears. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
20
Drake
We worked with the NYPD instead of running away before they arrived. It was the one, and only time we would ever do it, but we had to explain what happened with Hawk, the gun, and Detective Bluth’s murder.
Tommy Wilson, the detective who’d stopped me on the street the day before, was the first officer on the scene. When he saw the mess we’d made of the kitchen and the way Nicole cried, he thought I’d been the one who hurt her. But as soon as he saw it was Hawk dead on the floor, the gun still in his hand, he put it all together. He overlooked the excessive bullets in Hawk’s body, and I could only assume he let that pass since I rescued Nicole.
Nicole didn’t say much, only answering the few questions Detective Wilson asked her. I could tell they knew each other pretty well, especially since he sounded like a pissed-off father when she told him about going to the house alone, even when she knew Hawk was there and probably planning to kill her. I knew how he felt—I was pretty pissed off at her myself.
All the while, I wondered what to think about what she had done. I loved her, and she said she loved me, too. Could I believe her? The whole time we were together was based on lies. She wasn’t who she pretended to be. Was it that person I loved? Was she somebody else underneath the lies? It was a lot to take in at once, and I didn’t know where to start. I hated thinking that I had believed her so easily, even when I thought I was smart by questioning her when she first showed up at the Clubhouse.
When the cops took Richie’s body away, Nicole broke into fresh sobs. I held her when she cried, and I knew that was sincere, at least. She felt guilty for Richie’s death, she said to the detective. It was all her fault he was dead because Hawk knew Richie liked her and used that against him.
“It’s not your fault,” Tommy said, crouching in front of her. “It’s not. It’s Hawk’s fault. You were just there at the wrong time, and so was he. That’s it. You didn’t pull the trigger. He made a decision, just like … just like he decided to kill your dad. That was no more your fault than this is.”
He was right. It was more my Club’s fault than anything else.
I heard her tell the detectives that Hawk claimed we’d stolen his Club’s business years ago. Jack had been good enough to stay around—especially since he was the one in charge of the Club—and I asked him about it. He didn’t look proud of himself.
“It was just business. You know? They were going through some rough times. Things were shifting around, they were weak. I thought it made me a good businessman to get in there and take what was waiting. It wasn’t even hard to make connections with their partners and take them for myself when they saw we w
ere more reliable than the Cobras were at the time,” Jack explained.
“And that’s why he hated us so much.”
“Did I know he would wait twenty years to get revenge? No. Did I know he would want revenge at all?”
“I know. I know. Don’t get yourself excited.” I sat Jack down. “It’s not your fault, either. None of this is our fault.” I did wish he had told me about it. Again, his secrets could have gotten us all killed. I wouldn’t have looked into the Cobras at all if he hadn’t finally told me about the gun connection.
After hours and hours of questions, the cops told us we were free to go. That was a funny expression. Were we really free? I didn’t know if Nicole would even want to go back to the Clubhouse with me, or if I wanted her to. Yeah, I loved her, but I didn’t know if I could forgive her just like that.
Then I thought about the blood in the kitchen and everything that had happened in there. She couldn’t spend the night alone in that house.
“Do you wanna come with me, or do you wanna stay here? I can stay here with you if you would rather be at home.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know if I can spend the night here ever again. Not after what happened today.”
“I understand.” I went outside and climbed on my bike, and she followed. I waited until her hands clasped around my waist before pulling away from the curb. It wasn’t a long ride back to the Clubhouse, but it felt longer. I didn’t know what to say to her once we got there—after the panic wore off, I didn’t know how to act around her anymore. She wasn’t Bree. Was she? I still didn’t know. I guessed the only way to know would be to find out, but could I trust her? It was all a mess in my head.
I let her get in her hugs and tears with the girls when we first got back. They were waiting by the door when we pulled up and ran to her, throwing their arms around her in a big group. I wondered what they would think once they knew the truth. I hadn’t told anybody before I left. Would they be so happy to see her then?
I wouldn’t be the one to break her secret. I held the door, instead, and the four of them walked inside together. Tamara poured drinks for everybody, including the rest of the Club as they came in.
“I wish I could celebrate Hawk being dead, but I can’t celebrate when Richie’s gone, too,” Creed muttered. I knew how he felt—I wished I hadn’t been so hard on the kid. He didn’t deserve it, and he didn’t deserve to go the way he went.
“Drake put that fucking bastard out of his misery. What was it? Four or five shots? To the V.P.!” We raised our glasses—well, almost all of us did. Nicole didn’t. She stared straight ahead, a little glassy-eyed. I wondered how long it would take for her to get over what happened. Probably a very long time. It wasn’t the sort of thing a person bounced right back from unless they were used to it. We were all used to doing what had to be done. She wasn’t.
I looked around the room at my friends, my brothers, all of them sitting around with their drinks, relieved to be back in one piece. My heart swelled. They had risked everything for me, for Bree—Nicole. I had to get used to thinking of her that way. I met her eyes, and I saw that she was thinking something along the lines that I was. She stood up, moving to the front of the room.
“Excuse me. I have something to say, and I think you all need to hear it.” She cleared her throat, then took a long drink of whiskey to give her a little more courage.
“You don’t have to do this,” I whispered to her.
“I have to, Drake.”
I waited, wondering how the rest of them would react when they knew.
“My name isn’t Bree … well, it is Bree, but not really. It’s actually Nicole Bluth. My father’s name was Robert Bluth. He was the detective who was always trying to build a case against you guys.”
I heard a murmur build in the room, and I shushed everybody. The girls stared at her, wide-eyed. Some of the guys did, too.
“Let me explain.” She gathered herself. “See, the detectives thought you all had something to do with my father’s murder. He was all I had in the world. I want you to understand that. My mom died before I could know her. I don’t have sisters or brothers. My only aunt lives in Pittsburgh. I don’t have any other family and not that many friends. It was just me and my Dad, my whole life. I was truly Daddy’s little girl. I took care of him. And now I don’t have anybody at all. So I wanted to know who killed him, you know? I had to find out. I had to find out for my sanity and to find some closure.” She started to cry, and I heard sniffles around me. So she was getting to the girls, at least.
“So, I decided to go undercover, sort of. I pretended to be one of you, somebody who just wanted to be part of the Club. I hoped I could find something out. And I did discover a lot of things.” She crossed her arms over herself like she was cold, ducking her head until her dark hair hung down like a curtain on either side of her face. “I found out my father was wrong about you guys. I think he respected you, but he didn’t really know you. He didn’t understand you, and he didn’t have to since that wasn’t his job. But I know now that you’re good people with good hearts.” She looked up at Darcy, and Darcy smiled. “You’re the good guys in a world of bad guys, and that means a lot to me. I want to thank you for taking me in these past few days. I’m just sorry I lied to you all of you. I really am. You were all so good to me.”
She didn’t look at me. She just stood there, waiting for judgment or something. I didn’t know what.
“Is that all?” I looked over to see Creed was grinning.
“Yeah. Pretty much.” She sighed.
“Well, shit! I always knew you were pretending to be something else. I just didn’t know you were Bluth’s daughter, is all. Hell, I’d wanna know who killed my dad, too. If I knew my dad.”
“Same here,” Ace said. “If you didn’t come around, we wouldn’t have known who got him, either. And they might’ve fingered us for it. Now they know who did it, and so do you.”
“Right.” Creed nodded in agreement.
“I’m glad you’re okay.”
“Thanks, Ace.” She blushed.
“Me, too,” Darcy said, going to her. “Nicole. That’s pretty.” She hugged her, and I saw the relief on Nicole’s face. It was good to see her looking happy after what happened. I stayed quiet, though. I didn’t want the rest of them to see what was going on inside me.
I turned back to the bar when everybody else was talking, and Tamara caught my eye. “What about you, Drake? What do you think?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I went for her when I already knew who she was. What does that tell you?”
“It tells me you might need a little time before you can trust her again, but I think you have a good start.” She raised a shot glass in my direction. A good start. I wondered about that.
I turned around in time to see Nicole hug Jack and thank him for helping her. He told her it was no problem, she was worth saving. She looked more relieved than ever when he said that. I was glad he did.
As he turned away, he saw me. “Don’t let your pride get in the way, son,” he said as he passed by, clapping me on the shoulder. I didn’t reply. I had too much on my mind to make heads or tails of any of it. I needed a decent night’s sleep before I could come up with an answer to what I’d do about her.
It was past midnight by the time we all broke up. Most of them would stay in the Clubhouse overnight, just because it was already so late and they were tired. I figured we would have a group breakfast in the morning, judging from the way Darcy and the other girls were talking. But not Nicole. She was exhausted and still a little spaced out.
I said goodnight to the girls and started down the hall to my bedroom, then realized Nicole wasn’t with me. She was standing where we’d been when I said goodnight. “Aren’t you coming?” I mouthed.
She raised her eyebrows. Do you want me to? I nodded. She followed.
“I feel disgusting. I need to shower,” she whispered while she undressed. I went in with her, and we washed together. I
wanted to be sure she was okay. I didn’t like the way she was acting like she was in shock. Once she was clean and dried off, we climbed into bed. I held an arm out to her, meaning for her to rest her head on my chest, but she hesitated.
“Do you hate me?” she whispered in the darkness.
“Never. I could never hate you. If I hated you, would I ask you to sleep with me?”
“You’re right,” she curled up beside me, and I wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
“I meant it when I said I love you. I do love you, baby.” I stroked her hair back from her face. “I just don’t know who I love. I couldn’t say that out there. I’m having a hard time saying it now.”
“If you love me, you love … me.” She looked up at me. “The only thing I pretended about was my past. My father was a great man, and I loved him. He took good care of me. I just graduated college. I studied Criminal Justice.” I snorted a little, and so did she. “Yeah, I know.”
“Anything else I should know about you?”
“I actually do still watch Spongebob, and I really didn’t learn to ride a bike until I was twelve. And I really do love you.” She whispered that last part. “It sounds crazy, doesn’t it? We’ve known each other for a couple of minutes in the grand scheme of things. But I do love you.”
“I love you more,” I kissed her forehead. “Now get some sleep, sweetheart.”
21
Drake
“Are you sure this is a good idea?”
“I thought you said you wanted to do this. Plus, this is a perfect way to take our minds off things. Do something fun, you know?”
“You’re right and I do want to do this. But when it comes time to actually do it and you realize you’re a clumsy person—”
“Baby, you’re fine. I’ll be right here next to you.” I chuckled.
“Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea, after all.”
“Seriously, Nicole.”