Xo, Logan
“Do you blame her for me breaking up with you?” I asked when I finished reading it.
Sevyn raised an eyebrow at me. “It’s pretty self-centered to think that anything is about you,” she said, her voice flat.
“All this bullshit you did to her seemed to happen after I broke things off with you. It’s the only logical explanation that you took your anger out on her because you knew she cared about your friendship so much that she’d be your human punching bag,” I snapped.
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what you want me to tell you, Luther,” she said. “There was more than just us breaking up that’d happened that summer.”
“Then what else happened that made you do the bullshit you did?” I asked, trying to keep my anger in control. She was fucking infuriating, that same smug attitude she’d have seven years ago in court now rearing its ugly head again. She was so devastated when Carrie died, sobbing her pretty little head off in grief, but the mention of Logan sent her back to her “whatever” attitude that she had about shit she didn’t care about. It pissed me the fuck off that she could appear unbothered by the death of someone who she’d been friends with for years, probably longer than any of the bitches that helped her push my sister to the edge of a mental cliff before she pushed my sister into throwing herself over the edge, unable to deal with the torment anymore.
“It was seven years ago,” was her only reply. “I’ll admit that the reason was immature at best, but what did you expect, Luther? We were idiotic kids back then that didn’t think about the long-term consequences of our actions. All I can say is that I’m sorry for what happened to Logan. No, she didn’t deserve any of the shit we did to her, but we can’t take any of that back. We’re not the same girls we were back then. You’re so stuck on your revenge that you won’t even see that.”
I ground my teeth as I stared at her. She had some fucking nerve. It wasn’t even the complete fact of what they’d done. I couldn’t take back any of the shit they did to my little sister any more than they could. It was the fact that no one was punished for it. No one had to pay for their part in my sister’s death. Every single one of them went on with their lives completely unaffected. They went to college and graduated. They created memories and lived their young adult lives as if they hadn’t bullied an innocent girl to suicide. It wasn’t fucking fair at all. And to have Sevyn sit here with her smug ass “We’re different people and you’re just stuck in the past,” bullshit definitely didn’t sit well with me.
I closed the space between us in a second, grabbing her by the throat and squeezing. “You know what pisses me off about you?” I growled in her ear. “The fact that you don’t even care. You don’t care that you destroyed my sister, destroyed my family, destroyed me—”
“As if you didn’t destroy me,” she fired back, tears glistening in her eyes.
“By fucking breaking up with you?” I scoffed. “Heartbreak happens in life, Sevyn. I’m sure you’re well acquainted with breaking hearts yourself.”
“It’s not the same,” she ground out.
“It doesn’t even matter,” I snapped back. “Maybe it’s best that you don’t care. It’ll be so much easy to fucking break you and not feel any kind of guilt.” She tried to wiggle out of the grip I had on her throat as I unbuttoned my jeans. “You’re lucky I don’t like to share, otherwise there’d be two more guys in here to take turns on you.”
“No!” she squeaked out, gasping for air.
“Logan also told them no, even begged them not to do it because she was a virgin,” I reminded her, anger coloring my vision red. Even though I couldn’t bring myself to watch the video long enough to see the actual assault while in court, I couldn’t block out her screaming. Her pleading. Her begging while those fucks tore her apart. I held onto that guilt for the first few years after I’d learned everything that’d happened to her. Her big brother wasn’t there to protect her like I promised her I would. Listening to those fucks taunt her with, “Where’s Lunatic Luther now?” when they were finished with her lit a rage that I knew wouldn’t disappear until every single one of them were dead. And to know that the woman laying beneath me and her squad of bitches were responsible for putting that in motion, I wanted to make her hurt. I wanted to make her scream, make her beg, and make her bleed just as those three fucks did to Logan.
“I said I was sorry!” she rushed out when I finally let go of her throat.
I ignored her, grabbing her legs and pulling her down the mattress until she was flat on her back, the chain attached to her cuffs tightening when she was where I wanted her. She tried to kick me as I pulled my hardening cock from my boxers, whimpering when I grabbed her throat again. The only thing I wanted her doing was screaming and begging for me to stop. She let out a blood curdling scream when I forced myself into her. Her body tightened, her walls squeezing my cock as she tried to wiggle away from me, but she was trapped. With my free hand, I lifted her right leg and pinned it to the mattress, opening her up to me. She sobbed in pain, pleasure streaking up my spine.
“I’m sorry if I’m hurting you, Sevyn,” I said sarcastically, pounding into her as she cried. “Let me make it better for you. Does it still hurt now?” I slammed into her, relishing in the fact that she sobbed so hard that she couldn’t speak. The more she cried, the more pain I gave her. I let go of her throat and pinned her left leg to the mattress, fully opening her to me.
“Please stop!” she begged, but I was only getting started. She was completely trapped under me, nowhere to run to. She jerked at the chain that bound her, trying to pull herself back from me, but she wasn’t going anyway.
“Your pussy has always been amazing, doll,” I groaned as I pounded into her. The scent of blood slowly started to permeate into my senses, turning me on even more. “It’s even more amazing as I destroy it.”
“Please stop,” she cried. “I’m sorry!”
“I don’t give a fuck about your sorries,” I growled. “All I care about is hearing you scream and beg while I tear you open.”
And that was what I did. She screamed until she went hoarse again. Every rough stroke I put inside of her melted the current anger that I had. I’d admit that it was a bit strange to have Sevyn under me in this way. The last time I had her on her back was the night before I broke up with her. We’d had sex for the last time, with her having no idea I was breaking up with her the next day. She’d looked up at me with adoration in her eyes, a soft smile on her lips as she asked me what I was waiting for. To see her below me with puffy red eyes and snot and tears all over her face, it was a complete different experience with her.
I pushed back any past memories of us because they no longer mattered. She wasn’t that teen girl that I had a summer fling with anymore. She was now the enemy that had to pay for what she’d done, no matter how much I had to hurt her. The pain is mutual, I reminded myself. At least for her, the physical pain would eventually go away. And pretty soon, she wouldn’t be alive long enough to worry about any mental pain this would leave her with.
When I felt myself nearing my end, I let go of one her legs and grabbed her throat again and squeezed tight. She bucked against me, adding more friction that pushed me further to my end.
“That’s it, pretty girl. Fight me all you want,” I panted, pumping harder and quicker inside of me. “It feels so much better when you fight me.”
She jerked and gasped, unable to get her neck out of my grasp. Her walls contracted around my cock tightly when she tried to bow her back, pulling a groan from my lips. Not soon after that, her eyes fluttered as her body twitched beneath me, bringing me to my end. My balls drew up and I emptied myself inside of her with a moan that echoed off the hollow walls. I panted and bowed my head, sweat rolling down my face. Sevyn was limp beneath me, her pulse weak beneath my fingers. I slowly let go of her throat and pulled out of her. Her blood leaked out of her and onto the mattress, the red tint of it all over my softening erection and my boxers.
A solid knock sounded on the door, pulling me out of my musings. “Got food,” Ryan said on the other side.
I forced myself to my feet and stuffed myself back into my jeans. I watched her for a few more moments. She took shallow breaths that at least told me she was alive, but it frustrated me to no end that this didn’t make me feel anything. With a sigh, I finally pulled my gaze away from her and walked out of the room, running into Ryan. He leaned against the wall and held a bag out to me, a smirk on his now unmasked face.
“Have fun?” he asked when I took the food from him.
“Define fun,” I muttered as he followed me back up to the main floor.
“Definitely heard her screaming while I was giving everyone else their food. What happened in there?”
“Doesn’t matter. It didn’t make me feel shit that I thought I would,” I muttered.
Ryan nodded. “Sometimes that’s just the collateral damage that comes with revenge. Even if you kill all of them and get justice for your sister, there’s a high chance that it won’t change anything that you feel or make you feel any better.”
“Then what’s the point?” I opened the bag and grabbed a few fries. “What’s the point in doing all this shit if I won’t feel shit? She’s the main one I want to hurt and I’ve yet to feel anything when I’ve hurt her. I didn’t feel anything but a tiny bit of satisfaction when I beat her earlier and that faded just as quickly as it came. I made her scream and beg me to stop while I raped her and it did nothing for me.”
“Did you feel the same when you killed Carrie?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No. That was the first time I felt something. Hell, I still feel good after that.”
“So…do you think that you can’t feel what you expect to feel because you used to have a thing with Sevyn?” he asked cautiously.
The thought alone made my body tense with annoyance. There was always that possibility. The way I’d freeze up when memories of better times would creep into my mind. But she didn’t deserve that Luther. The only version of me that she’d get was the raging savage that I’d become. She’d see that soon enough.
“If that were the case, I’d at least feel guilt. But I don’t feel shit. Nothing at all.”
“You feel that she deserves it; that’s why you don’t feel guilt. But it’s hard to feel happy about someone you may care about even after all these years. Negative and positive shit cancel each other out. I think your hatred and past feelings for her are canceling out, which is resulting in feeling nothing at all. But I don’t know, man. It’s just a theory.”
“Seriously doubt that.” I closed up the bag of food after grabbing a couple more fries and stuffing them into my mouth. “I need to take a shower. Good talk, though.”
I left him in the living room shaking his head, pondering over his words. The only feelings I knew I felt were hate for this woman, no matter the history I had with her. I mean I couldn’t still have feelings for her…could I?
I scoffed to myself as I headed to my room. I needed to get my head in the game and focus on what I needed to do.
One fuck up could cost me everything, and I couldn’t afford for any unexpected situations.
The livelihood of my guys and myself depended on it.
SEVYN
I looked around Logan’s old room, unsure of what I was doing here. Everything looked as it did the last time I was here. She was such a girly girl, her gorgeous canopy bed against the far wall, a thick purple comforter made up on it with matching pillows and white accent pillows. Her walls were covered in posters of Zayne, Twilight movie characters, and photos of her friends. I walked over to a wall that was covered in nothing but pictures. A small touched my lips as I looked at all of them. She wasn’t close with the other girls I was friends with because she thought they were “no good.” Sometimes I wished I’d listened to her.
A particular picture of the two of us stopped me in my tracks. We were both in bikinis on South Beach, living our young, teenaged lives in the sun. With our ridiculously large sunglasses and floppy sunhats, we each held a canned soda in the air with one hand and held up the peace signs with our other hand. The bright smiles on our faces made my chest ache with grief. I hadn’t seen a picture of her in so long that it hadn’t hit me just how much I actually missed her. Even halfway through everything we’d done to her, a part of me wanted to stop when I thought we’d gone too far, especially when she was raped, but we’d already crossed the line.
“We had so much fun that day, right?” a soft voice said behind me. I whirled around on my heels to see Logan standing there with a small smile on her face. She looked as pretty as she always did, and forever seventeen. She wore a white dress with small yellow sunflowers on it, her dark chestnut hair swishing over her shoulders. It was her favorite dress in life, one that I’d heard she requested to be buried in when she wrote her suicide note.
She walked over and stood next to me, looking at the picture. “I can’t believe we thought that was stylish back then. We looked so dorky,” she said and giggled.
Tears burned my eyes as I looked back at the picture. “It was,” I said, my voice cracking. “But it was fun. That was all I cared about, I guess.”
“Yeah, me too,” she said with a small sigh. “Oh! You remember this one?” She pointed to one of us wearing life jackets, our hair soaking wet. I giggled. She’d convinced me to go kayaking with her family for the weekend. I’d never done anything like it, but I went because it was a nice escape away from the bullshit going on with my family at the time and a good enough excuse to be around Luther.
“I nearly drowned that day, you know,” I said, remembering how I flipped out of the kayak trying to get my tennis bracelet from the water that’d slid off my wrist while I swished my hand around in the water.
“You were wearing a life jacket,” Logan said and laughed, the sound making tears roll down my cheeks.
I laughed and shook my head. “That was still scary as hell, Logan,” I said and released a light sigh. “It was fun though.” I looked at her, watching as she grinned, her eyes traveling along the pictures. “I miss you, you know.”
She looked at me and smile. “Duh. I’m a missable person,” she joked. Her smile faltered a bit the longer she looked at me. “I didn’t tell him your secret.”
I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. Of course she didn’t. It was one of the things I’d blamed her for. I made her swear that she wouldn’t tell him, as I wanted to do it myself. So, when he broke up with me a few days after I’d told her, I was livid. Hurt. Betrayed by my best friend that I thought I could trust. But I should’ve known Logan would never do anything like that. I was so caught up in my own emotions that I didn’t think logically. Now, my best friend was dead, her brother was out to kill me and my friends, and it could’ve all been prevented had I actually just asked her if she did instead of assuming.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, a single tear rolling down my cheek. She reached up to brush it away, giving me the bright smile that she was known for.
“I know you are,” she said. “And you also know I can never stay mad at you.”
“How can you forgive me so easily? I basically ruined your life.”
“Yeah…you did,” she said slowly, her shoulders sagging a bit. “But I know the real you, Sevyn. You were acting out of anger and pain, especially after everything that happened after you and Luther stopped seei
ng each other.” She was quiet for a moment. “My mom always said that sometimes people lashed out in pain when they couldn’t really communicate what they felt. That’s how I look at what you did.”
I gave her a watery smile and shook my head. “You didn’t deserve that though, Logan. I know it won’t mean much now, but I truly am sorry for everything. There hasn’t been a day where I haven’t thought about you.”
“Is that why you cut yourself?” she asked. I looked down at my legs, seeing that I was still naked here. The scars of my self harming phase were visible on my skin, so it wasn’t like I could lie about it. I looked back up into Logan’s sad eyes. “I wouldn’t want you to do that.”
“But you did,” I countered.
“I did because I was in pain. You did a lot of cruel things, Sevyn. And while I forgive you, it wasn’t something that I could keep living with. You guys ruined me. You ruined my future. My reputation. You got me expelled from school during senior year, which meant that no college would accept me. I did what I did because I was hurt by someone I loved like a sister, someone that I’d do anything for. Why didn’t you just ask me if I’d told him or not? I would’ve told you I didn’t,” she said.
A few tears rolled down my cheeks as I looked at her. “I don’t know,” I confessed in a whisper. And it was the truth. Once Luther broke up with me, my world shattered. The time I spent with him was the peace I needed from my stressful life. He didn’t care about my family’s status or our money, just like Logan didn’t. She and I were so different and alike at the same time and being around her, around him, made me feel so…normal. It was almost pathetic in a sense, the rich girl with everything she could want being jealous of her friend for having a normal life. For having normal, loving parents. For having normal struggles. Creating normal memories that my family would turn their nose up at. Her family made me feel like one of their own, which was why I spent more time at her house than I did at my own. It was even to the point to where my other friends couldn’t understand why I was friends with her in the first place.
The Destruction of Sevyn (The Vengeance of Luther Book 1) Page 14