by HB Heinzer
I bit my lip, trying to figure out the best way to respond. I knew I needed to be honest with them, even if that led to a serious ass kicking. "True, but I'm still trying to show her how sorry I am for all of that. Between the four of us, while I should have done things differently, I will never apologize for the fact that I erred on the side of caution. You weren't there. You didn't see how she was acting. You didn't listen to her cry about needing the pain to go away after your mom died. If she had been using again and I ignored what I saw and something happened to her, that would have killed me. So yeah, I screwed up. But I'm hoping she'll give me one more shot. And when that happens, I plan to marry her."
Tom cleared his throat. Matt leaned back in his chair, arms crossed tightly in front of him. Mike sat there with that stupid grin on his face that said he was going to enjoy the show that was about to start. "Son," he started, leaning in close to me. "Don't you think we'd be better off having this conversation after the two of you work out your differences? You're a good man; I can see that. And I'll forever be indebted to you for the way you've taken care of Madeline, but if you're not even dating right now, it seems a bit premature."
He was right, of course, and this is what I expected from him. It's what I hoped to hear from her. Yes, I was hoping to be shot down when I proposed to the love of my life. I needed to be. "I agree with you, sir. But I know it's a matter of time, and I have a plan. But we need to have this talk now in case Maddie does something unexpected, and I wind up engaged to her this week. I can't do that without knowing you'll give me your daughter's hand in marriage." I continued explaining exactly what I envisioned when it came to asking the world's most stubborn woman to be my bride.
Tom threw his head back letting out a laugh that seemed to come from deep within his body. "I think my daughter has finally met her match!" He reached across the table and shook my hand. Over breakfast, the four of us sat around like a group of old ladies planning every little detail that we would need to make sure this was the epic proposal I needed for Rain.
"Okay boys, it's been fun, but I think it's time to get to Colton's and see your sister." I tried to reach for the bill, since breakfast was my idea, and they were my guests, but Tom was quicker. The look on his face told me this was not the time to bicker over who was going to cover our meal.
"Honey, we're home," Travis yelled as soon as I pushed the door open. I could hear Rain's voice from somewhere deep inside the condo.
"Jackass, if anyone's going to say that, it oughta be me since it is my house," I said as I slapped him. I grabbed a six-pack out of the fridge, needing a beer to settle my nerves. Knowing that everything was in motion, and yet knowing that Rain and I weren't even together had my body threatening to reject the pancakes I'd had earlier.
"Hey strangers," she squealed as she ran down the hall. Yes, Rain actually squealed. Apparently, she liked my surprise. I felt my shoulders slump when Rain walked past me to Jon, Travis and Jared, giving each of them an enthusiastic hug. It wasn't until I felt her fingers slide across my back and hook into the belt loop on my hip that I started to relax.
"Hey beautiful," I said as I kissed the top of her head. God, I missed feeling her body against mine and smelling the combination of strawberries and vanilla that would forever remind me of Rain. "I see extra luggage here. Does that mean our surprise beat us home?" For this to work, she couldn't know that they'd been in town since the red-eye flight landed this morning, and I spent an hour with them before she got to see them.
"Yeah, they got here about twenty minutes ago." She stood on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek. It was a Herculean effort to keep from turning my head and burying my tongue in her mouth. It was obvious to me that the talk I knew we needed to have was going to go better than I had thought it would. "Thank you." She uncurled her body from my side and walked over to kiss Jon's cheek. "You guys didn't have to, you know."
Jon placed his hands on her cheeks, forcing her to look him in the eye. It was a move that would have felt overly intimate if not for the fact it was Jon. "When are you going to get it through that thick head of yours that there's very little we do because we have to? Colton wanted to do this for you. For all of you. So please, would you go over there, give the man a kiss and later tonight, long after we all leave, show him how grateful you are to have your family out here?" I narrowed my eyes, trying to will Jon to shut up before he pushed her too far. Rain looked over her shoulder and laughed when she saw how nervous Jon's words made me. "I'm serious. If you don't forgive him soon and have a marathon make-up sex session, I think he's going to blow."
"I'll see what I can do about that," she acquiesced, patting him on the chest. In four steps, she was standing in front of me, throwing her arms around my neck. Finally feeling her lips pressed hard against mine, I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close to my body, deepening our kiss. Far too quickly, she pulled away, looking around me to see her dad and brothers standing on the balcony, trying to ignore what was going on inside.
She pulled my head closer to her level, feathering kissed along my jaw. "I love you, Colton," she whispered in my ear.
"Yeah?" It shocked the hell out of me that she was suddenly so open with her feelings. It made me panic, just a little, that she might wreck my grand scheme, but if she did, I would still wind up with exactly what I wanted, so that could hardly be seen as a ruined plan.
"Yeah." She kissed me again before resting her head against my chest, her arms sliding down to my waist. "I tried not to but couldn't. And now you did this for me, how can I not love you?"
"You hear that?" I asked, looking over Rain's head, flipping off the bandmates who had told me I was trying too hard to win her back before finally agreeing to help. "Told you my plan to get her back would work." The guys doubled over in laughter when Rain slapped my chest hard. I lifted her chin so she was looking into my eyes. "I'm kidding. I love you too. Now, I'm going to tell your family to get their asses in out of the cold. You guys coming tonight?"
"Um, I kind of thought I might get up there again tonight," she said tentatively. As awesome as this news was, she was already unraveling everything we had planned. I think Jon and I were both expecting her to continue resisting getting back to work. I looked at him and he shrugged, not sure how to respond since all of this was my plan. "Or not..."
I knew I needed to say something. The look of rejection and pain on my girl's face killed me. I actually watched her shoulders slump forward as if she was a balloon that someone was letting the air out of. When I couldn't find the right thing to say, my quick-thinking best friend chimed in. "Why don't you take this one last night off? If you think you're ready, you'll come with us when we go back out and ease you back in." Rain looked at Jon, obviously not happy with his request but slightly less annoyed.
She squinted her amazing amber eyes and let out a loud sigh. "Come on, my dad's here. Are you really going to deny him the opportunity to see me on stage again? Remember, he missed out on years of seeing me sing." I was suddenly glad this was Jon's fight for the moment because there was no way I would have been able to deny her when she played that trump card.
"Exactly. Your dad's here. More than him missing out on seeing you sing he's missed out on spending time with you. So please, for him, come and see us play tonight. Spend time with your family. And then, once they go home, you're more than welcome if you think you're ready." I bit down on my lips, fighting to stifle the laughter. If ever there was someone who could fight back when Rain played dirty, it was Jon. He didn't have the emotional attachment that I did, the one that made me want to give her whatever would make her happy.
I gave Jon an appreciative glance as I wrapped my arms around Rain. "Jon's right, babe. Give your dad this time with Maddie. I'm sure that no matter how proud of you he is, he'd rather see Maddie than Rain." I turned her in my arms and kissed her softly.
As I walked away, heading out to talk to her family, I heard her mumble something causing Jon and Travis to laugh.
"
Everything okay in there?" Matt asked as I closed the door. I appreciated them giving us time alone, but didn't want them to feel left out. It was a cool morning, albeit warmer than back home for them, so I felt bad that they had been sitting outside.
I scrubbed at the stubble on my chin, suddenly wishing I had taken a shower and shaved before we got off the bus. This wasn't the way I wanted Rain's family to remember me looking on the day I asked them for their blessing to marry her. "Yeah, Maddie's one hell of a girl." I glanced over at Tom. "Thank you again, sir. I promise to take good care of her for as long as she'll let me."
Tom turned to face me, leaning against the metal railing. "Colton, near as I can tell, you've been doing that for years. I know we'll never get that time back, but I'm glad she had all of you to look after her. Now, you going to offer an old man a cup of coffee, or will I have to learn to drink beer before noon?"
He stared at my beer disapprovingly, and I regretted grabbing it. To us, the hour on the clock didn't matter because we rarely kept the same hours as most normal people did. When I started to sputter a response, Tom took one step forward and slapped my back. "Calm down, son. I was giving you a hard time. You'd think you'd be used to that after spending so much time around my girl for so long."
Rain was still getting ready for the show when I had to leave or risk being late for sound check. It was going to be hard as hell for me to keep my mind in the zone if I could see her in the audience. Even though I saw her all the time wearing the skimpy shit Tanya always put her in, seeing her comfy and casual was my favorite look for her.
The red, plaid corset-style top she was wearing showed enough cleavage to make me want to see what was hiding beneath the fabric while covering enough that her poor dad wouldn't go into heart failure when he saw her. Her pants were baggy, black skater pants that didn't show the slightest hint of the tight curves beneath, but she more than made up for it with the confidence she exuded in her own clothes.
The good thing about all of this going down in November was that I wasn't on the bike. That gave me time to make phone calls while I drove to the venue where we were doing an intimate show for twenty-five hundred invited guests from regional radio stations.
"Mark, it's Colton." I couldn't ask Matt or Mike for any more help since they were with Rain, and she would overhear them talking.
"Hey! So, is my brother full of shit, or are you really thinking about asking Maddie to marry you?" I loved Mark; he was the brother who knew us well enough to get right to the point.
"Well yeah, but there's more to it. I'll tell you about that later tonight. For now, I need your help." I twisted my hands on the steering wheel, the nervous energy still jolting my body. "After dinner, you need to find Angie backstage. You remember her, right?"
"Yep, short girl with the cute pixie haircut? Looks like she could kick the shit out of just about anyone?" It was an apt description of one of the few females we had on the crew. It was a little known fact that before an injury took her out, she was a competitive body builder. Not the fitness-model body builder, but the pure 'how much weight can you lift' kind, and she was damn good at it.
"Yeah, that's the one." I reminded myself to find her as soon as I got there so I didn't forget. "She'll get you to where I need you to be."
"Colton," he sighed, dragging out my name into about four syllables. "What are you planning? Please tell me you're not proposing in front of everyone." I could hear the desperation in his voice.
"No, when I do it, I promise it will be a family affair. We've fought hard to keep our relationship private, I'm not giving up any memories I can hold onto."
"Good! I'd hate to see you get rejected on stage, and I really think it's too soon since you've only been back together for hours." I hoped Rain shared her brother's feelings, but that didn't matter right then because all we had to do tonight was get her on stage.
In almost complete darkness, I watched Rain and her family walk along the side of the stage before squeezing into the front row with some assistance from Angie and another roadie.
I saw her the moment the lights came up. She looked so young and carefree singing along with the rest of our fans. I had to laugh at how into it she was. Her brothers created a bit of a wall around her so no one could easily see her, just as we had planned. It didn't look conspicuous, just four grown men and a girl enjoying the show.
I tried to steal glances at her throughout the first half of the show while trying to make it seem like I hadn't seen her. After we finished When You Cross My Mind, I looked directly at her and winked before turning to Jon. It was time to get our girl back where she belonged. Jon and I sat there talking about what we wanted to do after the show while we made it seem like this was all some impromptu move. I pointed in Rain's direction and everyone started looking to see what caused the interruption in the show.
Before anyone could start encroaching on her, I made my way back to the mic. "How's everybody doing tonight?" I shouted, returning the focus to the stage. The crowd went nuts, the energy level through the roof for such a small show. "That's what we like to hear! Now, you might have noticed we're short one very important person up here tonight." I looked down to Rain, laughing when I saw her glaring at me. She knew damn well this was a set-up. "Rain's been taking personal time the past month or so, and we're happy to announce that, very soon, she'll be getting back on stage doing what she does best. But first, there's a little something we guys need to do for her."
I crooked my finger, calling her to the stage. She shook her head violently, not enjoying being put on the spot. I wasn't surprised. She had wanted to perform and we told her no so we could do this for her. Once it was our idea to bring her up, she didn't want to. Typical Rain. "Okay guys, apparently Rain's a little shy tonight and thinks she can hide out behind her brothers. How about I get a little help coaxing her to get her sweet little ass up here?"
The crowd went wild, everyone chanting her name. I got nervous when Matt hoisted her over his head, and the fans started body passing her towards me. I didn't like that many people manhandling her body and I worried that an overzealous fan would do something stupid. One of the event staff grabbed her when she reached center stage, passing her to Travis and me.
I kept her a foot off the ground in my arms, so she couldn't run away. "You're dead," she said loud enough that I could hear it over the in-ear monitor.
Once her feet were on the ground, I held her hand, keeping her by my side as I addressed the fans. "So, here's the deal guys... Some shit went down a while ago and we were a bunch of assholes to Rain, so much so that we almost lost her. Not like she got upset and threw a tantrum, but like she let us know in writing that we'd fucked up. Bad. With a little bit of time and a whole hell of a lot of groveling, she's agreed to keep us around for a while."
I led her back to the tall riser next to Jon, kissing her deeply before lifting her to sit and watch the show. One of the techs brought out my acoustic and I adjusted it as I walked back to my mark. "This song isn't one of ours, but we couldn't come up with the right words on our own this time. Hopefully she'll forgive us that." As we sang Sorry by Buckcherry, Rain started tearing up. It was the only song we could think of that would convey how all of us felt about the lack of faith we showed her.
When the song ended, she jumped off the riser giving each of the guys hugs. She finally made her way to me, kissed me quickly and moved to get off stage. "Don't think you're getting out of here that easy. Love you." I wrapped my arms tight around her waist and looked back to Jon. Her eyes followed mine and narrowed on him.
"Who thinks Rain needs to get her ass back to work… Right. Fucking. Now?" Jon yelled from behind his drum kit. Angie rushed onto the stage, helping Rain place her monitor and plug her other ear…and just that quick, we were complete.
By New Year's Day, I had proposed to Rain three times. As I hoped she would, she turned me down each time. I'm not sure what I would have done had she said yes.
The first time I proposed was at Thank
sgiving dinner. Yes, two days after we got back together. I made a big production out of apologizing to her in front of everyone before dropping to my knee. I had the ring box in my pocket, complete with a cheap, meaningless ring for show and her actual ring was in another pocket, just in case she was crazy enough to say yes.
As expected, she pulled me up, telling me it was too soon to even think about anything like that. Everyone at the table breathed a sigh of relief.
The next time I proposed was when we went home to see her family for Christmas. We woke up Christmas morning, and her dad passed out Christmas stockings to everyone. In the toe of her stocking was a ring box with the same fake ring. I dropped to a knee when she pulled it out and asked her again to be my wife. Just as before, she rejected me and we breathed a sigh of relief.
Most recently, I proposed to her in Memphis on New Year's Eve. Since everything had been going better than ever before between us, I was a bit scared that she would say yes. We were walking down Beale Street, enjoying some of the best music out there when I got down on my knee, not realizing I was kneeling in a puddle, which made for an added level of discomfort. Jon, Travis, Jared and Angie were all with us that time. Angie had the real ring in her purse, just in case I needed it. She turned me down again.
Yesterday was Valentine's Day. All day, I could tell Rain was on edge. I brought her breakfast in bed: waffles with fresh strawberries and homemade whipped cream, coffee, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. I sat on the edge of the bed talking to her, but nothing more.
When I knelt on the floor beside her, I could see her breathing shallow, and she moved the breakfast tray to the nightstand. I pulled my running shoes out from under the bed, and her shoulders sagged.
It was unseasonably warm for mid-February, so as soon as I got back from my run, we got ready to take the bike out for the first time of the year. I took her out to Ecola State Park so we could sit and look out over the Pacific Ocean. She kept eyeing me suspiciously, as if she thought she knew what I was up to. When we left about an hour later, she seemed mildly annoyed.