Alex cleared his throat and tugged on my hand again, starting his way back down the hallway.
“Can I get you a drink? Are you hungry?”
My stomach answered for me as it growled and I chuckled. “Yes, please,” I told him as I stopped at the bar.
He rubbed his hands together and his eyes twinkled as he stood inside his kitchen. “I’ve got something perfect for you,” he said, turning toward the fridge.
I hopped on a bar stool at the countertop and peeked around his body when he opened the fridge. Bottled waters were lined in a couple of rows, Tupperware containers stacked neatly, and then his large frame blocked my view. When he pulled out a tray and turned around, my eyes lit up.
“You remembered.” I sighed the words out as I stared at perfectly rowed white cheddar cheese slices, another row of crackers—but what really caught my eye were the pink Sno Balls.
Alex placed the tray on the bar and then turned around holding up his finger. “One more thing.”
Tearing my eyes away from the tray, I watched as he pulled out two Orange Crush sodas from the very back—in bottles, no less.
“How…” I chuckled. In disbelief he’d found bottled versions of our favorite soda, I shook my head.
“The grocery store down the street also sells nostalgia stuff for fun. I couldn’t resist grabbing a couple.” He swallowed. “I wasn’t sure you’d remember.”
“Of course I do! I still can’t believe you’d remember I hate orange cheese!” I laughed as I picked up a slice and placed it on a cracker. I bit into it and my mouth watered. I hadn’t realized I was so hungry.
“I still won’t eat the other ones just because you used to question what the hell they put in there to make it orange.”
“Well, if cheese is from milk and milk is white, why—”
“Would it be orange?” We both finished my sentence together.
Smiling, I stared at the tray of food so carefully thought out. I picked up a Sno Ball, wondering if he remembered the correct way to eat them. Holding it up, I challenged him with my eyes.
His eyes twinkled as he picked one up and pulled the pink dessert apart. We both watched the other as we each licked out the cream center. I laughed at how silly it probably looked, but to Alex and me, it was our snack we’d race each other home for. Granny always had them stocked for both of us. I wasn’t sure if Alex knew that when he returned to his home and wasn’t around, I’d run to Granny’s house sometimes instead of mine. She always had those ready for me, no matter what.
“Mmm, I missed this,” I said, and then realized he might think I was just talking about the Sno Balls. “I mean—”
“I know what you meant. I do too. I miss what we had, Cory.”
“Sa—” I started to correct him.
He walked around from the kitchen and stood in front of me. “Cory. You’re Cory to me. I lost you once. I can’t have that happen again. I’ll call you Sarah outside, if you need. But here, with me—you’re Cory.”
I nodded, and despite my protests inside, it felt good to hear my name again from his lips.
Waiting for him to question me about my name, he surprised me by asking, “Do you still like baseball?” He studied me carefully.
A simple question, yet it stung. It brought back the only reason I had loved baseball to begin with. “I can’t watch it. Not without crying my eyes out.” My dad had loved everything baseball. He’d taught me everything I knew, and I only played softball because of him. We’d even go watch the local high school baseball games. After he died, my mom threw away everything baseball. Anything he had in his office, she got rid of it all. I hated her after that, and even worse when she began drinking heavily and brought that monster into our lives.
Alex hugged me and kissed the top of my head. “I loved your dad so much, Cory. He treated me like a son. Better than my old man ever did.”
I nodded, knowing how much my dad had loved Alex, too. He spoke of him often and always made sure he was included if we had weekend plans when Alex was in town. We had Alex, Granny, and Pappy over for suppers all the time. “I hadn’t thought about any of this in so long.” My throat felt like it was closing up and I choked out a small cry.
Again, the warmth and strength of his arms enveloped me and attempted to help take away the pain. The last thing I wanted was another crying spell, yet the comfort of his arms around me wasn’t something I wanted to let go of.
Kissing the top of my head, he pulled back. He looked like he was going to reach over for an Orange Crush, but then a corner of his mouth turned up and he shook his head. “I’m thinking we may need something stronger than this.”
Wiping at the tears that stained my cheeks, I nodded. I really did need something to help relax and ease the pain of all the memories that were flooding us.
“You’re probably exhausted from working all day too,” he said as he took a couple of steps to the end of the bar. A round tray held various liquor bottles. He leaned over the counter, grabbing two glasses tucked in a corner, and set them on the counter.
Picking a bottle of brown liquid, he poured two fingers into each glass.
“Yeah, actually, I am. I haven’t taken a day off since I started working there.”
A corner of his mouth turned up and it seemed strange, but I ignored it when he said, “That’s quite a lot.”
“Yeah, well, a girl’s gotta work,” I said as I raked my hand through my hair. I avoided his eyes and gazed around the room.
Immediately my eyes snapped back to him as he started, “If you ever need…”
“Don’t. Please. I don’t need anyone’s help. I’ll be fine—like I’ve always been.”
He nodded as he handed me a glass. Clinking mine, he smiled. “To good memories and the start of something renewed.”
Start of something new made me hesitate as I brought the glass up to my mouth to drink. The glass was cool against my lips—a stark contrast to the way the liquid burned as I swallowed it down. I scrunched up my face, both liking the warmth that spread through me and hating what it did to my throat.
Alex laughed. “You still make the same face. Remember when we stole your dad’s liquor thinking we’d be all cool for our date?”
I nodded and shook my head. “Oh my God! You took Granny’s picnic basket and packed that salsa that leaked all over it!”
He shook his head. “Granny was so mad at me. What were we thinking—salsa, chips, and whiskey?”
“Weren’t we grounded from seeing each other?” I asked.
“Yeah, for what? A day?” We both laughed.
Our windows in our bedrooms had faced each other and we would just open them up and talk to each other anyway. “Pappy caught us sitting on our window ledges having a full conversation,” I said.
Alex shook his head. “He made me do so much yard work, my bones even ached.”
And I had watched him the whole time. Every time he looked up at me, I was laughing or making some sort of face at him.
“How come you weren’t grounded then? You stole your dad’s liquor!”
I shrugged. “I was such a good girl, they were so stumped by it.” I laughed until I realized how things had changed so quickly. All because of Dad’s death.
Not long after that episode, I was at school and called into the principal’s office for the first time in my life. All the kids’ ohh’d as I left the room, my heart beating out of my chest and my palms so sweaty I had a hard time holding my notebook. The teacher had told me to make sure I grabbed all my things. I had no idea why, but I knew that meant I’d be going home and wasn’t coming back to any of my classes. On my way I stopped at my locker and grabbed a few things, still unsure of when I’d be back. It had to be bad if they were sending me home.
I had stood outside the principal’s office door and known it was way worse than I had thought. Three police officers were inside the office. Not just one, but three. All eyes—from the vice principal, the front office lady, and any other students that l
ingered in the office—were all staring at me.
My stomach churned and my hands shook as I entered Mr. Buckner’s office. Losing the man that had meant everything to me was one thing, but how he had died completely stunned me. When I got home, I learned the truth—that my father had not only been shot to death, but that it was because he owed money to some loan shark. The days after were all a blur—I barely remembered any of it. Through all of it, the fact that Alex had come down to be with me through the funeral and stayed on for a couple of days after meant everything to me. After that, my life spiraled out of control. Stan moved in almost immediately. Mom started drinking heavily. There were fights about money, about how he spent it all, and then they told me we were moving.
As I stared into the swirl of amber liquid, my stomach churned. I placed the glass back on the counter. Suddenly it didn’t seem so appealing.
“Hey.” Alex’s voice was soft, barely a whisper.
My eyes met Alex’s deep green eyes, so beautiful and vibrant. The way the lights from above the counter shined on them, they seemed like an impossible color for a man to have and I couldn’t look away.
The slight roughness of his palms caught me off guard and was a stark contrast to the velvet tone in his voice. “I’m here for you. I miss him too.”
I exhaled and nodded. “I know.” I tore my gaze to look down at his hands, the pads of my fingers running along his palm as if I were trying to get to know this man, so different from the hands of the boy he used to be. “I know he meant so much to you too. I keep wondering why he had dealt with those guys to begin with.” I looked back to his eyes, hoping he had some answers. “Why’d he need to gamble so much money away?”
“There are some things we’ll never know. Things we can’t answer.” Alex’s eyes stared into mine. “But you need to remember—your dad loved you. No matter what he did, you meant everything to him.” He took a breath before he continued. “When you’re a kid, it’s hard to see why adults do some things. I’ve always thought about Stan and why your mom would ever think to marry him.”
Hearing his name completely threw me off, and my chin trembled. I had worked so hard to erase it from my memory. I looked up at the ceiling and shook my head, as if that would keep my tears at bay. I hated myself for not enduring one more week with him. Would I have been able to avoid him for seven days? What would have happened between Alex and me then? “You have no idea what I had to go through…”
Alex pulled me to his chest as I tried to forget all the abuse my stepdad had done to me. What Remy and his uncle put me through. All the years on the run trying to stay alive. Other girls I knew turned to drugs as a way to escape. I was tempted, but I wasn’t sure what I was holding out for. There was something in me that hoped I’d have the life I was meant to have before my dad died—the life I felt was ripped from me.
“Shh.” Alex stroked my hair and pulled me to him, holding me as if he could actually help ease the pain. “Tell me everything. Tell me what he did to you,” he whispered as he kissed the top of my head.
“No.” I shook my head and pressed further into his chest. “I…You don’t want to know.”
I could feel Alex’s fists clenching as he grabbed the sides of my dress. “I’ll kill him,” he mumbled, and I could barely make it out.
I wished he had. Alex was supposed to be my first, not my stepdad.
He pulled back, his eyebrows pulled in, still not understanding the severity of my situation. “Why didn’t you call the police?”
I swiped at my tears as I told him, “My mom wouldn’t have backed me up. There was no use.” I wasn’t sure I wanted Alex to know about all the threats to mine and my mom’s life my stepdad had made. I had spent far too long blocking them from my memory; surely he didn’t need it in his.
Alex’s face turned crimson. He had known my mom to be caring and sweet—the typical epitome of a mom. “Your mom? But…”
“She was different after Dad died,” I explained. “After she married Stan, it was like she flipped a switch and no longer cared. He gambled all the money my dad left her, whatever that was. When we had nothing left, he worked at some factory and gambled whatever money he’d made there, if anything at all.”
“God, Cory. I’m so sorry. I wish you’d have told someone. We could have tried to help somehow.”
I shook my head, wishing I hadn’t believed that Stan really could have killed me if he wanted to. “It would have been no use. Where we lived, no one cared.” I sniffled and wiped away my tears. Feeling a little more courage that I could tell Alex more, I explained, “That’s why I ran. The guy in my neighborhood said he had an uncle out in California that we could live with. He said it was great out there and painted a whole new life I could lead out there.” I left out how horribly wrong it all turned out. I went from one lousy situation to an even worse one.
Alex held me again, rubbing my back in a slow, methodical motion. I felt the kisses on my head and was sure he was trying to sort through all the information he’d just learned. We were both silent for a moment, lost in our own thoughts.
After a few moments, Alex shook his head as he sat down on the other bar stool, but tugged it close to mine. “I can’t help but think that maybe Stan was with the loan sharks, or even possibly the main guy.”
My hands shook immediately. It was something I’d never considered—or that had even occurred to me. But it made sense, especially looking back to all that happened and how Mom had just…let him into our house.
“Or something like that, I mean—”
“No,” I interrupted him. “You might be right. I remember Mom saying something about me being too young to understand. But…”
I shook my head as the thought came, and immediately I dropped it. Why didn’t she go to the police? Probably for the same reasons I hadn’t.
“What?”
“Nothing.” It was no use trying to figure out why it had happened. The fact was that it had. Nothing that I’d been through could be changed, regardless of whether we figured out the reasons.
Talking about the past wasn’t something that made me feel comfortable. If anything, it only made me feel worthless and shameful. I looked down, realizing I was still in my work uniform. Noticing how low the front hung, I tugged it up and stood quickly.
“Don’t go.” Alex jumped up, grabbing me by my waist. “Please. Just…I’ll make up the spare bedroom.” His voice was so desperate, my heart twisted for him.
I gave him a faint smile. “I’m not leaving. I just want to change, if that’s all right.”
He gave a sad smile and shook his head. “Sorry. I guess I thought you…”
I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. “I know what you thought.” Pressing a kiss to his chest, I pulled away and grabbed my overstuffed purse.
“Cory.”
I stopped and turned to see Alex standing there almost looking like the boy I had known so long ago. His hands were jammed in his front pockets and he wore that same shy expression that was etched into my memory.
“Yeah?”
“I know you didn’t think I was there for you before, but I hope you know I’m here for you now. If you need me, I’m always here.”
“Thank you,” I said as I gave him a faint smile and turned back to the hallway.
Alex was wrong. He had been there for me before. I was the one who had taken off much too soon and ruined our chance of finding out what could have been between us and saving me from all the troubles that followed me. After he found out what my new battles were, I wasn’t so sure he’d want to stick around and be there for me.
Fifteen
Alex
I watched Cory disappear into the hallway bathroom and continued staring. The years she'd been away from me were a complete puzzle—one that I was finding pieces of little by little. What she had to have gone through, seen, and had to do was something I was sure I'd never be able to comprehend.
Staring into my empty glass, I poured another
finger and downed it in one gulp. I wasn't trying to get drunk, by any means. I was just trying to numb the anger and hatred I had for what her stepfather had done to her. I cursed myself for questioning why she wouldn't have gone for help. It seemed like something some asshole would have asked a woman who was raped. Why didn't you fight him off? I shook my head and chastised myself, answering my own stupid question that I had asked Cory. Because she was a young girl terrified this guy would kill her and her mom, and she felt she had no other options.
She didn’t specify how that asshole had abused her, but I remembered vividly how creeped out she used to get around him. She had begged her mom not to date him, let alone marry him. It was another reason that had propelled me to learn how to drive and head up there on just a learner’s permit, even though I hadn’t heard from her since she had moved.
Someone else had been there and able to save her from her stepfather. Yet I couldn't help but wonder what kind of life he had brought her into that led her to where she was today. The way she’d wanted to dart out of my apartment earlier made me ache inside. Where had she lived that she didn't think she would belong there with me? She seemed to gloss over those years, and I knew it would take even more patience to find out what happened during that time frame.
The door popped open and out walked a woman with the mannerisms of a young, uncomfortable girl. Perhaps she just wanted something cozy to wear or was tired of having all her assets showcased in her work uniform. Regardless of the reason, it was obvious she wanted to cover up her body. A faded green, oversized sweatshirt and black leggings covered up the body that had originally drawn my attention to her at the bar.
I gave her a faint smile as she waved her hand at the couch, and I watched her walk over and plop down. Was she trying to put some sort of distance between us by curling her legs up under her? Her hands fidgeted with the hem of the sweatshirt, and I wondered if I had done or said something to make her feel uncomfortable.
Trust Me Forever (Forever Happens Series Book 2) Page 9