He gave a faint nod, and looked around the dungeon as though it were a hotel room not quite up to snuff. “Yes. You do.” He looked behind her. “Where is your pet wolf? Cerdewellyn will not be pleased if he marks the furniture.”
“Really? You’re going to insult Jack?” Would he mark the furniture? How dog-like would he be? Val dismissed it from her mind; she had to find the jerk first. “I don’t want you to say his name. If you’d had it your way, he’d be dead.”
Lucas shrugged awkwardly. His shoulders lifted, the muscles in his arms contracting. But there was no slack in the chains, which made it hard for him to move. He twisted his wrists, hands flexing as though he was uncomfortable. The smell of decay, of something burning, reached her nose. It was similar to the smell of human hair, and she gagged.
He continued to stare at her steadily. “Jack has wanted me dead for years. Why am I the one that is punished?”
“Because you knew what he meant to me! And you knew he couldn’t harm you. He was nothing more than a pest.” She took a deep breath. Dammit. She didn’t want to talk to him; she just wanted to get out of here.
His head cocked to the side, and he peered over her shoulder into the dark. “Where is he? Why are you not with him? He is bound to you, and you have each other. Correct?” She couldn’t bring herself to tell him Jack hadn’t chosen her. She’d been so sure he would. She’d been a fool, and to see his condescending smile if he found out…screw him.
“It doesn’t matter,” she snapped at him. Her hands were shaking, so she crossed her arms. She saw him note the movement. He frowned fleetingly, and then his expression was back to being bored. Except for the intense focus of his gaze. It was his posture, the cadence of his words, and even his expression that seemed to say he was business-as-usual-Lucas. But the intensity of his stare made it a lie, she thought. Val decided to go on the offensive. “What about you? I thought you’d be sobbing like a little girl and atoning for past mistakes.”
“Why would I do that?” he asked, sounding genuinely interested.
“I don’t know…you had my blood, and you were all teary.”
He laughed. And it was definitely at her. “Yes, you are a great terror to vampires everywhere. All powerful, and I am trembling in fear,” he said.
Jackass. “You jerk. You spent all that time worried about my blood, and then you get it, and it doesn’t affect you in any way? Is that what you’re telling me?”
He shrugged. “Where is Jack?” he asked again.
“He’s waiting for me upstairs.” She lied. “I thought you’d be more willing to tell me if I saw you on my own. Just tell me how to leave.”
He was looking her over piece by piece, as though she might be injured, or on the verge of growing a third arm. She felt like there were some understatements in there. “You are exhausted, and your emotions are everywhere. You are not attempting to shield at all,” he said.
He tried to lean forward, and his eyes were bright, shining. As if he were emotional. His biceps flexed, and she couldn’t help but admire them. Remembered how she had touched him as he made love to her. No, Val, that was fucking. Because he couldn’t have made love to her and treated her the way he did.
“What if I say no? That I have no interest in helping you escape,” he said.
She shook her head. “Then I will make you tell me.”
He laughed, nodded slightly, staring at the ground. “You will force me…I suppose you would.” But he didn’t sound worried about it. He made it seem impossible. Like she said she was about to climb Everest in a swimsuit and on her own, and he was indulging her by saying she might be able to do it.
“You owe me,” she said, and a little sadness crept into her voice.
His response was soft. So low and dark that it should have pitched the room in blackness and put out her torch. “What do I owe you? All the things I gave you. How I took care of you. Money, information…pleasure. I denied you nothing. If I could give it to you, I did.”
She took a step closer, anger forcing her near. Dried blood was flaking off his cheek like paint. “You gave me things that cost you nothing. It certainly didn’t seem to be a hardship to fuck me.”
He raised an eyebrow. A condescending look on his face. It meant there was a small smile on his full lips, and a narrowing of his blue eyes. “No. Never a…hardship.”
“Yeah, you’re a fucking genius at double entendres. I want out of here. Tell me!” She closed the distance between them and hit him on the chest. “Money!” she said, almost shouting. “You gave me money? What, when you put me up in an apartment so you could keep an eye on your pet? How fucking dare you tell me you gave me money as if it means something! The literal cost was nothing, as rich as you are. And what information? I know what you did to me, what you took, everything you stole. You gave me information you wanted me to have, and if I found out something you didn’t, you took it away. How many times did you do that to me? Tell me!” she demanded.
He looked away from her sharply, as if he were flinching.
“My mother, the memories of you with the wolves as you slaughtered the village, even that you wanted me to love you. You’re pathetic.” She swallowed. Felt close to crumbling. “Just…tell me,” Val said, suddenly feeling weak. She didn’t meet his gaze and stared at the floor. Please give me some sign that there is a part of you on the inside that matches the beauty on the outside.
“There are so many things you want to know, and alas, I am not good enough to tell you for nothing. Not even now. Where is Jack?” he said. And he waited.
Should she just get it over with and tell him? He probably already knew. Maybe that was his revenge. He wanted to humiliate her. “Jack is with Rachel. What the hell—you were right. Rachel, totally not trustworthy. She threw me out of the room and bonded with Jack. Cer showed up, chucked me over a cliff and now…” A harsh laugh. “I may be even worse off than when I was with you. What’s your price, Lucas? You want me to find an axe and get you out of here?”
“Will he come for you soon? I assume he does not know you are here?” His tone was cold. The power of his anger washed over her, his emotions sweeping over her and then disappearing again.
She shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s got a problem with his realm or something, and he said he’d be back. He said he made me an empath…a full-blooded one…like a thoroughbred, and there was a cost to that.”
Lucas shifted in his chains as much as he could, twisting his wrists.
Val moved closer, peering at his wrist. “Youch.”
He glanced at his wrist and then shrugged, as if his flesh was burned off him all the time, and it was a petty annoyance. “As far as dungeons go, it could be worse. What has he said of his plans for you?” Lucas asked, inclining his head towards her.
She raised the torch and peered to the side of the silver cuff, so that she could try to see the damage clearly. His wrists were wet, covered in what looked like dark gel, a mixture of melting skin and blood, she thought and gagged again. “It’s like some kind of skin sludge. How bad is it?” Val took a step back, and felt as if she might faint. She reached out to keep herself upright, and her hand landed on his bare shoulder.
His skin was cold, but she didn’t let go. She instantly felt better, the terror and stress, the fear, even the hunger and desperate thirst receded. She wanted to put her arms around him and pretend that none of this was happening. He was so imposing and strong, that even chained up and helpless; she felt as if she’d be better protected if she could just cling on to him. Her throat clogged with tears. I am so pathetic.
“Do not touch me,” he said, voice hoarse. “Your grief is cloying.”
She jerked back and blinked fast, hoping tears wouldn’t slide down her cheek. “What did he do to your wrists?” she asked numbly.
“It is not fatal, simply irritating. If the manacle came off, I would heal instantly. Tell me more about being Cer’s horse.”
Val smiled weakly. “Thoroughbred. He told me that if I
gave in and did what he wanted that…it would be easier for me.”
“What did you say?” he asked very quietly. As though he was afraid of the answer. His brows were pulled together, and he was staring intently at her face.
Her voice was hard. Being reminded of this made her angry. Anger was better than tears, so she went with it, letting him see how pissed off she was. “I told him ‘no.’ That I had learned it was best to demand more than words from a pretty man.” She blinked quickly and turned away from him, wanting distance between them. Being near him hurt like an open wound.
“Look at me,” Lucas commanded.
She didn’t want to. It would hurt her to look at him. I can’t be a coward anymore. Someone who can’t deal with reality and the truth. And she certainly couldn’t be weak because of him. She wouldn’t be vulnerable for Lucas anymore. Their relationship was over.
She turned back to him and tried to convey her feelings to him with just a look. Her resolve and disgust. She was here for a purpose, and she’d learned. Damn it.
“There is nothing more dangerous in an Other than a pretty face,” he said. “They have power. And they want to control you with it. Looks are a weapon and a deceit. A means to make one vulnerable. Words mean nothing. Beauty means nothing,” he said, voice like ice. “All that matters is blood, bargains and proof. Make no promises and give nothing to anyone, for they will betray you. Do you understand me, Valerie Dearborn? So Jack and Rachel are together. Cerdewellyn has nefarious plans for you…and I am stuck in this infernal dungeon. It seems unlikely, but things have begun to look up for Cerdewellyn.”
She struggled with what she wanted to ask. “Can you…tell that he has done something to me? Do you see it? Or feel it? That he has made me different?”
“Do you mean, can I tell you are now more powerful than you were?”
She nodded.
“No. But I would not know unless you decided to…try it out. Examine your powers, and play with them. Then I would feel it. Through the connection we already have.”
“He’s waiting for me to eat or drink,” she confided, and realized she was close to him again, her feet taking her near without her being conscious of it. She took a step back, not bothering to make it casual.
“Then do not do that,” he said blandly, and put his head back against the wall as if he were bored out of his mind.
“I know it’s been awhile since you’ve been human, but time is running out. I am so thirsty and hungry and tired. I’m so…” Heartsick. You took out my insides and left me a little broken. She wanted to tell him. Confess it. Like the words might hurt him. ‘Look what you did to me, you should be ashamed of yourself!’ But that was not how it worked. He was evil. He would probably laugh or something. And maybe she would deserve it.
“Keep your feelings to yourself, Valerie,” he said, coldly, as if he had read her mind. “You are vulnerable here. You cannot risk trusting anyone. Your shields are down and your thoughts clear. Try again. Think of a wall. With you inside of it, and me outside. You do not want me privy to your thoughts.”
Was that how pathetic she was? That he was willing to tell her not to wear her heart on her sleeve? “I know that! I hate you. Do you understand? I hate that I am here because of you. That I did those things with you. I knew what you were, and I ignored it. I was stupid. You are violence and death and—”
“You could not have avoided me, Valerie. I put myself in your way, and it was only a matter of time.” His tone was distant, and she thought she could see him becoming more inhuman with each word. As if he were creating a barrier between them since she couldn’t. He was paler. And when he spoke, his words had more of an accent and a lilt.
“They all succumb. Every woman I have ever wanted. I am as you say, too beautiful as well as evil. And if my own magnetism is not enough, I can read you like a book. I have lived it all, experienced it all…turned my back on all of it. Life is a game, little Valkyrie. A toy. I always would have used you. Count yourself fortunate that if you are careful you may do what no other woman has.”
He waited for her to ask. And of course, she did. “And what is that, Yoda?”
He gave her his full attention again, but he looked like a vampire. Pale, flesh hard, and inhuman. She realized how little she saw him like this, how much effort he put into making himself as human as possible when he was around her. Now he wore his predator’s smile, the one she’d seen when he killed vampires in front of her. The smile he had given her when she was sixteen, and he saved her life. “You might survive me.”
She heard him take in a deep breath, and when she looked back to him, his head was against the wall again, eyes closed. “I know you hurt. I am not sorry. Tell me you understand that? That I am not sorry.”
“Yeah, you’re a jerk; I get it.” She watched him because she couldn’t help it. He was ignoring her, and so she could. Maybe it was the last time she would ever see him. She saw a tear slide down his cheek, and he turned his head as if to hide it. What the fuck?
His voice was gruff with conviction, maybe even anger. “Do you know that if I get out of here that I will come for you? If you were smart, you would pray that I die here. You would find a stake and kill me yourself.”
“I don’t need more encouragement to hate you. I got it. I hate you. I hope—” I hope you die here. But she couldn’t say it.
He said something in a language she didn’t know, probably a swear word or two, and then gave her his full attention. His face was wet with tears, and he looked furious. “You will not stay mad at me. You will not hate me forever. We are connected now. You will want to come back to me, just as I will want you. You will believe you can change me, that you can control me with your abilities. But, I will always be exactly the same to the very core.”
She screamed at him. “I know! I know what you are! Just tell me how to leave you here to die, and I will!” Her voice echoed off the walls, bouncing around them, and for a moment, neither of them said anything. As if they were both waiting for her angry words to dissipate.
Finally, Lucas said, “It is only you here, Valerie. Rachel came by to pay me a visit; she was going to leave with Jack. You must assume that they are gone.”
Her lower lip trembled. “No, he wouldn't leave me."
His voice was soft. “He would not have had a choice. He is bound to her; right now, her will is his will. And she wanted to leave.”
Her mouth was hanging open, and she snapped it shut. “So why did you ask me if Jack was bound to me? Just another game? A way to pass the time?”
She saw his chest expand in a deep breath, the rippling muscles of his stomach bunching. “I do not know,” he sounded tired. “I suppose I just wondered if you would be honest with me.” He cleared his throat and shook his head as if he were coming out of a fog. “In regard to leaving, your options are limited. Dismemberment is one, but I have a hard time imagining you hacking Cerdewellyn into pieces, even if you had the strength. Bone is…difficult.”
She ran her hands through her hair, feeling nervous. Yeah, that’s what’s keeping me from dismembering him, pulling a muscle as I cut through bone.
“Your second option is to cut him, bleed him, and then you anoint yourself with his blood. Think of it as a warding. You ward yourself against his magic with his blood. And thus it will allow you to leave.”
“You know, it would be nice not to have ‘blood’ be the answer for once.” Her heart started to pound at the enormity of the task before her. “Both of those options suck! He’s strong and fast. How the hell am I going to cut him?”
“Bide your time until you find the right moment. And in the meantime, of course, do not drink nor eat. How long can you go without food?”
“An hour,” Val grumbled. Afraid she wasn’t really joking.
He shifted a little, moving his weight from the left foot to the right. He sounded tired, voice a bit slow, words careful. “You need to stay strong if you are to get out of here. Cerdewellyn can fight, and he has abiliti
es you do not.” His fists clenched and released, a sign of his agitation. “I will give you my blood. But it is not free.” He caught her gaze. “Not without a bargain.”
Her mouth went dry. What the hell would he want from her? “You are not in a position to bargain,” she said. She stalked closer and drew out her knife, so he could see it.
He chuckled, and his expression was her own personal nightmare. He looked…human.
A trick of the light.
“Where did you get the knife?” he asked.
“It’s Jack’s. He wouldn’t mind me using it. And if he knew I was using it on you, he’d probably want a photo. You don’t have to give me the blood. I can take it. I don’t need to bargain.”
Unless.
She berated herself, knowing it was stupid to ask. To wonder. But she did, because this was the last time she would ever see Lucas. “You took my memory away.” The words were whispered. That’s how painful they were.
“So?” he said loudly, uncaring, his head going back against the wall with a light thunk and a harsh exhalation.
“You stole my mother’s memory from me.”
He swallowed, and she closed her eyes, reaching out to him, wanting to know what was going on inside of him. She couldn’t feel anything, so she walked forward, put her hand on his chest. He seemed surprised, flinching at her touch.
His emotions slammed into her, and she gasped and stepped back, recoiling from the shock of what he was feeling. Emotion churned inside of him like a storm, sloshing and moving around, trying to escape. He had a lid on it, barely. And now that she knew, the physical signs were clearer. That he was not nearly as in control as he wanted her to believe.
He pushed himself forward, pulling against the shackles, “Do not think to play with me. Do not pity me. I am Lucaius Tiberius Junius, King of the Vampires, slayer of all the Others. Do you think me weak because of your pathetic emotions? Do you think it gives you an advantage? You are but an empath. I killed the others, Valkyrie. Emotions will not break me, nor will they sway me.”
Love Is Mortal Page 6