“I haven’t been able to finish a book in the last two years. I thought it was because I was busy with Drew. And that was part of it. But the other part was I haven’t dated or been with anyone since Andrew and I think I…lost my…mojo.”
He no longer looked confused. Now, he just looked pensive. She still wasn’t doing a good job. So she decided to try a different tactic.
“Do you remember the other day in the kitchen, when you told me that I was staying?”
He nodded. Just once. On paper, it shouldn’t have been sexy, but for the love of Judy Blume, it was. The authority and confidence he exuded from one small gesture was enough to make Emma’s ovaries explode.
If a nod from a shirtless man could get her this worked up, she was in worse shape than she’d thought.
“Well, it inspired me. I’d been having a really tough time figuring out my way into a really important scene, and the way you were, so dominant, just opened the floodgates. I wrote like the wind.” She chuckled, happy to see Logan’s lips turn up in a small, yet disarming, smirk.
Drawing on the confidence his reaction had given her, she pressed forward. “Then, tonight, when I wasn’t able to write the kissing scene, you kissed me, and talk about inspiration. Oh boy, it was… Yeah. In-spir-a-tion-al. I just finished the scene, and just like before, it poured out of me.”
Something was going on behind his swoon-inducing gaze, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.
Figuring she’d come too far to turn back, but scared she was going to lose her nerve, she spoke fast as she explained, “So I have one and a half books to finish in the next six weeks. And to do that, I need to reawaken a part of me that has been sleeping so long that its best friend is Rip Van Winkle. Annnd I was hoping that you could help me do that.”
Emma held her breath. Her throat felt so tight while she waited for the jury to reach its verdict, that there was no way she could breathe even if she’d wanted to. Which she didn’t. She’d just propositioned a man for sex; oxygen seemed insignificant compared to that.
Logan didn’t answer right away. Every part of her wanted to run, not walk, out of the room. To laugh and say, “Ha ha, just kidding. You thought I was serious? Come on. Who would ask someone something like that?” But she didn’t do either of those things. Instead, she stood her ground and waited. Because the truth was this was what she wanted. This was about her and only her. Or…her and Logan.
After a long, awkward pause, he tilted his head to the side, his expression still unreadable. “What exactly are you asking me?”
Wow. Okay. So it looked like she was going to have to really spell it out for him.
“I don’t remember what it feels like to be with someone. To feel the weight of their body on top of mine. To feel their hands on me. To feel their breath against my neck while we make love. To feel someone so deep inside, to not know where they start and I end.”
A twitch of his jaw wasn’t the only reaction he had to her explanation—she saw that his sweats were tented from a very large, very impressive boner. A small amount of relief washed over Emma because at least part of him, a very important part, was on board.
“Emma.” Logan’s voice was so deep that it vibrated through her, causing her core to pulse with need. “I don’t think…I don’t know…”
“Never mind,” she said, not wanting to upset him. “It was stupid. I’m stupid. Sorry. Forget I said…anything. It was crazy to think that you and me… I mean, I just haven’t dated in so long… I just need to date someone… Not you…but…”
Everything was coming out all wrong. She needed to cut her losses—losses being her dignity—and get the heck out of there. She rushed to get to the door, but he moved faster and blocked her way out.
“You’re sure this is really what you want?” he asked. His dark, piercing eyes searched hers.
Her mouth watered just from being that close to his bare, muscular chest.
“Yes.” She hoped that she wasn’t drooling as she answered.
“Okay.” His rugged voice sent goosebumps all over her body.
“Okay,” she repeated, taking a steadying breath so she didn’t topple over.
A sudden bout of lightheadedness hit her. Not wanting to ruin the moment by passing out cold, she moved around him and out the door with lightning speed, saying a quick goodnight as she passed his god-like frame.
Then she rushed back to her room as fast as her feet could carry her. The second the door closed, she collapsed against it and slid down to the floor.
Everything that had just transpired between her and Logan felt like it hadn’t really happened to her. Like this was a movie and she was playing a role. She never would’ve guessed that, when she’d had an Indecent Proposal moment in real life, she would’ve been Robert Redford in the scenario and not Demi Moore.
Knowing she wasn’t going to get a moment of sleep, she pushed off the ground, walked straight to the desk, sat down, and wrote. She put all the creative juices from Logan’s shirtless body and the promise of research nookie into her craft. Settling back in her chair as she typed, she knew that it was going to be a long, productive night…and so would the next night. Hopefully.
Chapter 16
‡
“Shit,” Logan hissed as he pulled his hand back after he’d accidently grazed it with the sander.
As the machine wound down, he looked at his palm—no real damage. No broken skin. No blood. Just a burn.
Still, he and power tools might not have been the best match today. He checked the clock hanging above the toolbox—four fifteen. He had forty-five minutes before he had to take Drew to Mountain Ridge, where he would be spending the night at the falls.
Since he was going to the all-nighter, Amanda said that he and Noah should rest today to not overexert themselves. So his godson spent the day playing video games while Logan had worked out in the garage and Emma had been writing in her room.
The second hand mocked Logan with each slow click. It was amazing how time had simultaneously seemed to drag on and on while also moving at the speed of light. It didn’t make sense. Just like what had happened last night in his room didn’t make sense.
What the hell have I done?
Logan scrubbed his hands over his face as he leaned against his workbench.
I agreed to have sex with Emma. Andrew’s Emma.
He’d never felt so many conflicting emotions about anything in his life. In fact, he hadn’t even known that it was possible to be this conflicted. Things in his life had been mostly black and white. Yes, he’d done things he wasn’t proud of. Yes, he was still haunted by things he’d seen in combat and on the job. But he’d always been where he was supposed to be, doing what he was supposed to be doing.
Last night, however, he hadn’t had a fucking clue as to what he was supposed to do.
Logan didn’t shock easily. He’d seen too much. Survived too much. When Emma had shown up at his bedroom door, he’d been prepared to deal with whatever she’d had to say to him. He had been prepared for her anger, for her confusion, for her to tell him that she couldn’t stay with him anymore.
Her asking him to have sex with her for research? No way in hell had he been prepared for that. Her proposition had shocked him more than the time when he’d decided to put a fork in the electrical outlet on a dare when he was seven. He hadn’t seen that one coming at all.
His phone dinged, and he picked it up. It was a text from Lucky.
ASK EM KADE OR SEAN?
Lucky had been texting him on almost a daily basis with questions for Emma about her books. It was irritating as shit.
NO.
After typing his one word response, Logan set his phone on the workbench. Turning back to his bike, he decided that he was going to try to salvage the remaining time he had left before he had to take Drew to Mountain Ridge. He wasn’t going to think about later that night or the repercussions it could have. Or the betrayal he was committing.
Just as his fingertips b
rushed the sander, his phone rang. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw that it was Lucky. He really didn’t want to talk to his twin brother right now.
Logan had never really bought into the whole twins having special powers or more attuned intuition. When two people are born together, spend every day of their childhood together, share everything including the same birthday, it only makes sense that they would know each other well.
Lucky definitely knew Logan, and he was one of the few people who would be able to tell that something was bothering him. Unfortunately, he couldn’t ignore the call because he’d just texted him back.
“What?” he snapped as he answered the phone.
“Wow, bro. I see being a family man hasn’t chilled you out,” Lucky teased. He never took anything seriously.
“What do you want?” Logan was being a dick, but this was Lucky. He could take it.
“I was just calling to see how your Leave It to Beaver life is going. From how pissed you are just to answer the phone, I’m going to guess things aren’t going too good. Not good at all.”
Logan didn’t want to discuss the situation he was in with his brother. He knew what he would say. Lucky lived in the moment. He seized the day. He acted first and thought…never.
That worked for him, but not for Logan. Lucky lived in a world of many different shades of gray. He could easily justify any action he took in his own mind—and usually to others as well. Logan lived in a world that was mainly black and white. Right and wrong. Until now.
Forget fifty shades—this situation was a hundred shades of grey.
“Everything’s fine.”
“Alllriighhtyy, then. So, if there’s no trouble in paradise, why can’t you ask Em whether Tina ends up with Kade or Sean? Riddle me that, Mr. Sunshine?”
Lucky and Emma got along, but hearing him sound so familiar with her made him want to punch a hole through his workbench.
“First, do not call her Em. Second, I’m not going to ask her because I’m not a seventh grade girl.”
He wasn’t even going to address the Mr. Sunshine dig. His brother had been calling him that since high school and he knew he hated it. He was just trying to get a rise out of him, and Logan wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction.
“You’re only saying that because you haven’t read her books. If you had, you’d be interrogating her day and night.”
There it was. Proof that twins didn’t have some kind of supernatural ESP. Lucky was wrong. Last night, after Emma had run out of his room like the house had been on fire, he’d decided that, if they were going to engage in research, he should find out exactly how in depth it was going to be. He’d stayed up all night and read the first two books in the series.
They were hot. Like come-in-your-pants hot. So much more graphic than he’d expected. He’d gotten so hard, so worked up, that, if Drew hadn’t been asleep in the other room, he would’ve gone to Emma’s room and let the research begin, grey areas or not.
Just thinking about it now had him growing hard in his jeans, which wasn’t good, because he had taxi duty in a few minutes.
“I’ve gotta go—”
“Wait a minute! You have read the books, haven’t you!?”
Shit. Logan might have to rethink his stance on twins having special powers.
“You dirty dog! They’re hot right!?” Lucky chuckled, clearly amused.
“Goodbye, Lucky.” As Logan disconnected the phone, his brother yelled for him to ask Emma about Tina.
But he had bigger issues than who a fictional character was going to end up with. Although, after what he’d read last night, he had to admit that he was curious.
Emma was an amazing writer. Not just because of the sex scenes. They were good—fucking amazing, actually—but he couldn’t believe how drawn into the stories he’d been. He wasn’t the demographic that normally read romance novels. Neither was Lucky, for that matter. Yet his brother was obviously invested in the outcome of Tina Spencer’s love life. If that wasn’t an endorsement, he didn’t know what was.
Running his hands through his hair, Logan looked at the clock that had been mocking him all day. T-minus ten and counting.
Could he really go through with this?
Would he be the biggest asshole in the world if he did?
Would he be the biggest asshole in the world if he didn’t?
The moment Emma had said that he didn’t have to be the one she “dated,” that she would “date” someone else, he had snapped. Lucky’s calling her “Em” had made him want to knock him out, so thinking about her hooking up with some random guy in the name of research made him want to kill someone.
That was why he’d agreed to her proposition. Not because he’d wanted her more than he’d ever wanted another woman in his life—even though he did. Not because it was the right thing to do—which it wasn’t. And not because he hadn’t thought about the repercussions—because he had.
He’d agreed because the thought of anyone else touching her perfect body, kissing her soft lips, causing her to make the sounds she had made in the hallway yesterday made him want to throw up and then kick someone’s ass.
She wasn’t his, but he’d be damned if she was going to be some random asshole’s. Not that it made what he was doing okay. He was definitely in the asshole category for having kissed her yesterday, but at least he wasn’t random. He would never do anything to hurt her or Drew.
Still, every time he thought about what she’d asked, he heard Andrew’s dying breath as he asked Logan to take care of them…
Yeah, he was definitely an asshole.
*
Emma was tapping her foot so fast on the deck that she could’ve easily been mistaken for a Riverdancer. The view of the majestic mountain was serene. The orange hue of the setting sun highlighted the green pine trees and red-and-yellow-speckled Aspens. And melodic sounds of the water rushing in the creek washed over her as she inhaled the fresh, crisp evening air.
She should’ve felt as peaceful as she ever had, but she didn’t. She was the exact opposite, in fact.
She jumped out of her skin at every sound, thinking it was Logan returning from dropping Drew off for his overnight adventure. Her mind was racing with what might happen when he walked through that door.
They hadn’t spoken about her late-night visit or the arrangement they’d agreed to the few times they’d seen each other since then. Breakfast had been an exercise in awkwardness. At least, that was how it had felt to her. Thank God Drew had been there to act as a buffer. Once she’d let him know that she’d talked to Amanda and gave him the green light for the campout, he’d had so much to say that, even if Logan and Emma had wanted to get a word in edgewise, they couldn’t have.
This might just be the most nervous she’d ever been in her life. When she’d found out she was pregnant, she’d been scared but too young and naïve to really understand what had been in store for her. The same with her wedding day—she’d been a little anxious, but mainly because she’d thought for sure Andrew was going to change his mind. When she’d sent out her manuscripts and query letters to the Big Five publishers, she’d definitely had some serious butterfly action, but she’d had nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Now, she had a lot to lose. Logan was Drew’s godfather. He sent him money every month for his college fund. He always sent cards and called at least once a month. Whether he knew it or not, he’d been the only male influence in Drew’s life.
What if this ruined that?
Last night, the idea had seemed brilliant—inspired, really. After she’d finished Tina and Sean’s kissing scene, the answer to finishing both books on time had been as clear as the topcoat of her nail polish.
Ask Logan to facilitate the destruction of her writer’s block.
Between the kiss and the obvious chemistry she and Logan shared, she’d justified that things would most likely naturally progress to the bow-chicka-bow-wow stage and her plan served to speed things up a bit.
A
noise that sounded a lot like Logan’s truck caused her heart to fly up into her throat. Her fingers tightened around the wooden railing of the deck as she held her breath. Frozen in place, she anxiously listened for the familiar sound of him pulling into the driveway. She waited, but all she heard were birds chirping and leaves rustling. Then the engine noise faded, indicating that the driver had continued past the cabin.
False alarm.
Emma let out the breath she’d been holding. If she was this nervous about Logan getting home, maybe this was a bad idea.
Yeah. Bad idea felt right.
As she turned towards the house, she caught her reflection in the sliding glass door. After her shower—which, of course, had included shaving, though not rushed this time—she’d blown out her hair, and it was loose around her shoulders. Then she’d put on her favorite lotion and the one and only summer dress she owned over her one and only matching-bra-and-panty set.
Pulling the left spaghetti strap up on her shoulder, she stared at the reflective surface and tried to look at herself objectively. The baby-blue color of the dress complemented her eyes, which were a shade darker. Then she ran her hands down the fitted bodice, stopping just before the flare of the full skirt at her waist. Turning from side to side, she had to admit that the silhouette accented her shape, which her mother had always described—with a fun combination of disdain and disappointment—as an hourglass. The hem hit her mid-thigh, which showcased her legs, and the cut of the bodice displayed a fair amount of cleavage.
Now, she was happy that she’d thrown it in her suitcase when she’d flown to New York. Overpacking for that business trip had been a saving grace in this situation.
She’d bought the dress online from a clothing store in Illinois called Bella two years ago, when she’d decided that it might be a good idea to start dating again. But this was the first time she’d worn it. The designer, Amber Webb, was known for creating pieces that celebrated the female form, and now, Emma knew how she’d attained that well-deserved reputation.
This dress was the perfect combination of sexy and sweet. If there were ever a piece of clothing that would bolster her nerves to face the events she herself had put into motion, this was it. Yet there she stood, shaking like a leaf in her wedge sandals while the butterflies in her stomach had a dance party, disco light and all.
Magic Kiss (Hope Falls Book 11) Page 16