Magic and Mayhem: Fire, Brimstone and Chocolate Cake (Kindle Worlds Novella)

by Mina Carter

  “Not fucking happening!” My voice expanded and became terrible as I shoved his chest, pushing us both through into the shadow world.

  “What the hell?” Lucas blinked, color back in his skin as he looked down at his chest. The wound was gone, but I didn’t have time to explain it to him.

  “Get behind me,” I ordered, shoving in front of him as the shadows in front of us formed into two distinct figures. One, the slender but curvy figure of the reaper I’d met before, but the other way taller and hooded.

  Kharon. The ferryman… and, I now realized, also Death.

  “E-DUB! SOME BACKUP HERE!” I yelled, knowing the hellcat would hear me whatever realm I was in.

  “That’s her,” the reaper was saying as they walked toward me, and Kharon nodded.

  “I’d say it was nice to see you again,” I commented to the reaper. “But it’s not, so how about you both fuck off while I’m still in a good mood?”

  The reaper blinked in surprise, sliding a sidelong glance at the tall figure beside her.

  “Don’t you know who this is?” she asked, incredulously.

  “Jynx, love… don’t be putting yourself in danger for me. I’m ready to go.” Lucas’s hand on my shoulder made me tilt my head, but I didn’t take my eyes off Kharon. I was about to piss off Death him/herself, and I wasn’t stupid enough to let my guard down.

  “Yeah, well… I’m not ready for you to go,” I hissed back at him, feeling the weight of a furry body against my calf as E-dub arrived, purring softly.

  “And yes,” I said to the Reaper. “I’m fully aware of who this is. How’s it hanging, Kharon?”

  The hood lifted a little in acknowledgment, drawing a gasp from the reaper. I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at her. Totally childish but then, she’d done the grown-up equivalent of fetching mom when she hadn’t gotten her own way.

  I shot her a quick look. “Boss man here and I are old friends. Like really old friends.” At least I hoped we were because otherwise I was in real fucking trouble here.

  Reaching into my pocket, I pulled free the coin Kharon had given me. The reaper’s gasp told me she knew what it was, but I wasn’t looking at her. I felt Kharon’s interest from under the hood, like the weight of a thousand years pressing down on me.

  “No way home if you give that up,” E-dub said softly from around knee height. “You’ve claimed your mortal heritage now. The only way in and out of hell is that coin. Are you ready to give that up?”

  I shot him a look, but he had a point. If I gave up my coin, the next time I saw my home would be after I died. And being half-demon and half-mortal, that could be a long time.

  Lucas’s hand covered mine and he turned me to face him, his blue eyes serious and sad. “Not for me, beautiful. I’m not worth it. At least I got to meet you before I died. You’re lovely, you know that? Kind and brave and I am so proud to call you my mate…”

  Tears filled my eyes. Must’ve gotten some vamp dust in them because I wasn’t crying. No way, no how.

  “I’m not. I’m selfish and narcissistic. Only interested in myself. And I’m a bitch,” I told him, but the damn tears wouldn’t stop falling. The look in his eyes almost melted me on the spot as he cupped my cheek with a big hand.

  “Yeah, but you’re my bitch, sweetheart.”

  Warmth exploded through my chest and I nodded.

  “Yeah, I am. And you know what? I’m bitchy and selfish enough not to let you go. We can try the mate thing, I guess. Until I get bored and kick you outta bed.”

  Decision made, I flicked Kharon the coin behind Lucas’s back. He gasped, trying to grab it, but it was too late. A bony hand emerged for a second to catch the coin before disappearing into the all-concealing sleeves again.

  I turned to him, Lucas’s arm still around my waist. “This town and everyone in it is under my protection, understand? Tell everyone down below that the daughter of Lilith has chosen sides, and you do not want to fucking cross me.”

  Kharon nodded once, the hood moving, and clicked his fingers. Within seconds he and the reaper had faded and disappeared.

  Closing my eyes, I let go of my hold on the shadow-world and pulled myself and Lucas back into the land of the living.

  Chapter 11

  I’d given up my ticket home to save Lucas, so the terrible wounds that had killed him were gone. An hour later, sitting around the kitchen table at Rafe’s house and he was still touching himself up, a look of wonder on his face.

  “I was dead…”

  “Yeah. You said,” I commented, scarfing down another slice of chocolate cake. Seriously, what was it with throwing magic and my appetite? Seemed I only had to think about casting a spell and boom, I could eat enough for a football team after morning training.

  Lucas’s hands smoothed over his chest again, a sight I wasn’t opposed to. After he’d been fully healed, he’d opted not to put a shirt back on. Mainly because Rafe had burned his vamp blood-stained one.

  “Dead… really dead. But you…”

  “I brought you back.” I shrugged, sitting back and rubbing my stomach. After most of a chocolate cake, I was finally feeling stuffed. Looking up, I found both Rafe and Lucas looking at me. “Technically I made a deal with Kharon, the ferryman… or woman, I’m not entirely sure which it is. I gave him back my coin in exchange for your life.”

  Lucas shook his head. “But, that wasn’t all. You told him you’d put the entire town under your protection. Why? What do we need protection from?”

  This was it. Crunch time.

  Reaching into my back pocket, I pulled out the tiny stone figure of my uncle and placed it on the table. Lucas frowned, but Rafe’s gaze sharpened suddenly.

  “Wait. Listen to me before you kick off,” I ordered softly.

  “That’s Lucifer, isn’t it?” the big warlock asked, his voice tight with anger. “You dare to bring him here, knowing what he did?”

  “Daughter. Of. Lilith.” I spelled out and sighed. “And I lied before… well, I didn’t tell the whole truth. I’m not possessing this body. It’s mine. I’m half-mortal. Come on, you have to have worked it out by now. Orange magic, yours is peach…”

  “Fuck. FUCK!” Rafe exploded into movement, stumbling backward in shock.

  “What?” Lucas was on his feet too, claws erupting from the ends of his fingers as he responded to the threat and tension in the room.

  “You’re…” Rafe leaned down to look into my face, to actually look, studying me. “You’re my daughter?”

  “In the flesh.” I winked, a quirk of humor curving my lips for a second. “Although, I had no clue who you were up until a day or so ago. I just knew my dad was mortal, but that was all. Neither mom nor Uncle Luce would ever tell me anything about you.”

  “I have a daughter.”

  “My mate is Lucifer’s niece?”

  I shot Lucas a reassuring smile. “He’s a nice guy, really. I promise. There’s assholes down in hell that are way worse, believe me.”

  I took a deep breath and looked at Rafe. “That’s why I’m here. There’s been an… issue down in hell. A coup. A demon called Nab—”

  “Don’t say his name!” Rafe hissed quickly, power crawling over his hands as he raised them and began to chant.

  “By wind and blood, fire and flood,

  I call on the elements this house to ward.

  Shroud us from disaster and harm,

  Wrought by any Devilish horde.”

  Peach magic flew from his fingertips and fled to the doors and windows, tracing them before flowing over the walls, and then the ceilings and floors. Without seeing it, I knew the magic had wrapped the entire house in a protective bubble. E-dub, now the size and build of a large German shepherd, sneezed loudly under the table.

  “Can’t be too careful up here,” Rafe warned. “Particularly if you’re going to go about naming demons. Powerful ones I would guess if he managed a coup and Lucifer is sitting there.”

  “Uh-huh. Good point,” I conced
ed. “Can I name him now, or shall I just call him Assgroom?”

  Rafe nodded. “You can name him now. We’re safe.”

  “Assgroom?” Lucas asked in an undertone.

  “Long story. I’ll tell you another time,” I murmured back and then spoke up. “His name is Nabzon, and basically, he gave everyone in hell the shits.”

  Ignoring Lucas’s little snigger, I carried on. “Violent, shit themselves to death diarrhea, which, if it’s taking out demons, is seriously bad. I managed to get to Uncle Lucy and slapped a stone curse on him before it got too bad but I can’t heal him.”

  I put a hand on the small figurine and pushed it toward Rafe. “I need your help, Dad. If it’s the only thing I ever ask of you, please… heal him.”

  He folded his arms over a broad chest, leaning back against the counter by the sink, and looked at the small figure as though it were about to explode. No, more than that, with hatred. I watched his fingers out of the corner of my eye, ready to blast him into the afterlife if he so much as twitched.

  Shit… but he was my dad. I couldn’t kill him…

  “Please.” I wasn’t above begging now. I had no cards left up my sleeve. They were all on the table. “If you think Lucifer is bad, wait until you get a load of Nabzon. You knew my uncle. He was all about deals and choices. Nabzon is not pro-choice. He’s totally NO choice. He’s looking to kick off the apocalypse. It’ll be the rapture, those asshole horsemen and hell on earth. You know what’s even worse?”

  Rafe winced. Obviously he already knew what I was going to say.

  “If my mom realizes that Uncle Lucy is down for the count, she’ll take over hell.”

  Lucas lifted his hand like a kid in kindergarten, a look of confusion over his handsome face. “Sorry, but why would your mom taking over be a bad thing? She’s your mom, right? You can reason with her.”

  I laughed, the sound a bitter snort of no amusement whatsoever. “We’re talking about Lilith here, remember? Lucifer’s twin? She got pissed when she was told to marry Adam and told G-G-fuckit!”

  “You mean God?” Lucas asked with a frown.

  “She’s half demon, lad,” Rafe said in a low voice. “She can’t say his name.”

  “Exactly! Give that man a prize!” I said, pointing at him. “So, she got pissed at the big man, told him to fuck off and left. Original runaway bride. She has no impulse control and a hair trigger temper. Believe me, we do NOT want her in charge of hell. Seriously do not want her in charge of hell.”

  “Noted.”

  Rafe grabbed the chair in front of him and sat down heavily to look at me. “I always wondered, you know, with how quickly Lilly left…” Finally, he smiled tiredly. “You look a lot like her. Don’t know why I didn’t see it before.”

  I wrinkled my nose. “Tends to creep people out. She’s not the most stable, shall we say?”

  Had she been before? With him? He still loved her. I could see the echoes of love and pain in his eyes.

  “She was different, but that was what I liked about her. Will you be sticking around?” he asked carefully. “Now I know I have a daughter, I’d kind of like to get to know you…”

  I smiled, shooting a glance at Lucas. “I may have a reason or two to stick around.”

  Nodding, Rafe reached out to put a finger on the head of the Lucifer figurine. His lips started to move. I couldn’t hear what he said, but the power in the room went from low level, barely on the radar, to freaking nuclear alert within seconds.

  “Back… get back!” I yelled, dragging both Lucas and E-dub out of the way as the table exploded in a shower of sparks and wood-chips. I ducked as a leg hurtled past. It buried itself into the wall behind us in a shower of plaster.

  “Shhhhittt…”

  I turned to find Uncle Lucy crouched where the table had been. Obviously wooden tables didn’t take kindly to demons materializing on them. Rafe was on his feet, still chanting, but I couldn’t hear over the roar of the hellfire surrounding my uncle. E-dub hissed, and my view was blocked by vivid orange fur as he made himself into a big, hellcat-shaped shield to protect Lucas and me from the energy swirling in the room.

  I managed to peek over the top of the fur to see my uncle suspended in the air, back arched and arms spread widely as peach magic surrounded him. Then, with a crack and a boom, everything went black.

  Literally black.

  “Light switch,” I muttered, feeling my way along the wall until, finally, I reached it. Snapping the light on, I turned to find Rafe and my uncle eyeing each other up. Finally, Uncle Luce cleared his throat.

  “Rafe.”

  Rafe inclined his head. “Lucifer.”

  I wanted to swear. Small talk after how long?

  “That’s the devil?” Lucas poked me in the ribs gently as he whispered. “He looks so… normal.”

  I slid him a sideways glance and winked. “So do I? He was an angel, remember? They mostly look just like humans.”

  Uncle Luce ran a hand through his hair. He was in his hot biker dude, real form. Someone had added clothes, either him or Rafe, I wasn’t sure which but I was eternally grateful. Seeing my uncle buck-nekkid once was enough for a lifetime. “Thanks… for the healing. Some serious shit that.”

  Rafe shrugged. “Wasn’t a big deal. Studied exotic poisons about ten years ago. I like to keep my hand in… figured half the shit that’s deadly to mortals was hellborn anyway. Besides…” His gaze slid past my uncle to me. “I didn’t do it for you.”

  Uncle Luce turned, and his face split into a broad grin.

  “Pookie!” he exclaimed, holding his arms out wide for a hug. “I knew you’d sort things out.”

  “Don’t say a fucking word,” I murmured to Lucas and walked over to my uncle.

  He wrapped me in a rib-cracking bear hug and I closed my eyes, relief washing through me. Uncle Luce was back on his feet. Now if we could get everything else sorted and prevent the apocalypse, we’d be golden.

  I pulled away to look him in the eye. “Listen… we got problems. It was Nab—”

  Uncle Luce put two fingers over my lips, shooting a quick glance at Rafe. At the big warlock…my dad’s nod, he removed them.

  “As I was saying… Nabzon put poison in the cookies and you all got a case of the fatal shits. He’s in league with vampires and they’re looking for the antichrist to start the damn apocalypse! What?” I demanded, as both Rafe and Uncle Luce started to chuckle, their faces wreathed in amusement.

  “There’s a demon looking for Scarlet? Oh, that’s freaking hilarious!” Rafe snorted, wiping the tears from the corner of his eyes. “I’d pay to see that.”

  “Screw that!” Uncle Luce howled. “Let’s sell tickets and provide the popcorn!”

  They’d both gone fucking nuts. There was no other explanation for it.

  “Okay, what am I missing here? Who is Scarlet?”

  My uncle straightened up enough to look at me, his eyes bright with mirth. “Scarlet is the lady who is currently the antichrist. Let’s just say, she’s a shit-hot powerful witch with a hair-trigger temper that would make your mother look stable and zero respect or fear of demons.”

  Rafe chuckled. “Yeah, she blasted his ass when she found out he’d done the dirty on her when we were kids.”

  “I did not,” Uncle Luce said in indignation. “That was Julie making shit up so I’d take her to senior prom instead.”

  My eyes widened to about the size of dinner plates.

  “Wait, what? Let me get this straight… the antichrist, the person who can bring out the apocalypse and the end of the world, is your ex?”

  Both my father and my uncle nodded. Then Uncle Luce sighed, running his hand through his hair. “Do anything to get her back to be honest. Love of my life.”

  I blinked, walking past both of them to the cupboard where I’d seen Rafe stash a bottle of whiskey. Pouring myself a large measure in a mug, I downed it in one shot. Then I poured another and slid it to Lucas, who was propping up the counter next to me with
an equally incredulous look on his face.

  He knocked it right back and looked at me. “There’s not enough alcohol in the world to process that.”

  “Bluntly put,” Uncle Luce reached over to snag the bottle and poured himself a measure. “We won’t need to worry about Nabzon if he goes after Scarlet, but I’d rather deal with the little wanker myself.” He threw back the whiskey and swallowed, hissing through his teeth. It was good stuff. I was still feeling the burn all the way down to my stomach.

  Putting the mug down, he looked directly at Lucas. “You’d better have honorable intentions toward my niece, wolf. Don’t think I didn’t notice you being all touchy feely there.”

  “Of course, sir. She’s my mate.” Lucas wrapped an arm around me and pulled me into his side. Not in front of him to protect him, or behind him to protect me, but into his side. Equal. My heart melted that bit more, cracking what was left of my resistance to him.

  Uncle Luce looked at me for a long moment and then back at Lucas.

  Finally, he nodded. “Since she hasn’t castrated you for saying that, I’m assuming she’s good with it. Welcome to the family, lad,” he offered his hand, shaking Lucas’s firmly.

  “Right. I need to go deal with that little twat Nabby. Toodles!” And with that, he disappeared.

  “So…” Lucas pulled me around in front of him and I realized my dad and E-dub had made themselves scarce. “Part of the family? Does that mean you’re going to make an honest wolf out of me?” he asked, a smile on his handsome face.

  I smoothed my hands over his broad chest, thinking of some shit to say because that’s what I did. What I always did. Always hid my feelings, never let anyone in… I looked up, met his gaze and shrugged. “I think I might. After all, I chased death off for you… Kinda think that might mean I love you.”

  He leaned down and brushed his lips over mine. “Does that mean you’re staying then?”

  I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck.

  “Well… there is this sexy werewolf I plan to do the nasty with later…”