Then he leaned forward and kissed her back. “Shhh, sunshine, I’m right here. I want you to try it this way for a few minutes. If you don’t like it we can stop, okay?”
“Um, okay, I’ll try,” Sinclair said, as fear shivered through her.
As if he could read her mind, Jackson brushed his warm, hair-covered chest across her back and kissed his way across the top of her shoulder. Then she felt Toby’s arms slide away. A moment later, Jackson’s arms slid around her waist. In a move that impressed the hell out of her, he lifted them both so she sat in his lap as he knelt on the bed with his cock still deep inside her cunt.
“Toby, get out,” Jackson ordered as his hands brushed up her body to cup her tits.
“Yes, Sir,” the sub said as he rolled out from under her and off the bed.
Sinclair’s thoughts bounced between the horrors of the past and the hunger she felt in the present. Would Jackson use her, abuse her as her ex had? Until now he’d never pushed her too hard in any direction, never hurt her, and always seemed to have her pleasure foremost in his mind. But, what if… Her thoughts splintered when Jackson turned her head and kissed her gently.
She heard a soft whimpering, like someone was in pain, but didn’t realize it came from her lips until Jackson said, “Shhh, sweet sunshine. It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.”
Opening her eyes and looking over her shoulder, she stared into the deep blue of his. He’s telling the truth. He would never knowingly hurt her.
Shifting her hips, she looked at him, hoping he couldn’t read the fear in her eyes. “I know,” she whispered before turning away to look at the wall.
Leaning forward slightly, she began to slowly ride up and down the shaft that filled her cunt. As Jackson’s hands moved over her body from tits to belly to thighs and drove her arousal higher than before, she shoved back the horrors of the past. They had no place in this room, in this man’s arms.
“How you doing? You okay?” Jackson whispered as he nuzzled at her neck.
“Mmmm,” she replied, not sure how else to answer the question.
After all, Jackson was not responsible for those memories, the negative taint that certain sexual acts held for her. Wrapping her arms around Jackson’s back she pulled him with her as she leaned forward, ending up on her hands and knees.
“Fuck me into the mattress,” she purred.
Jackson stayed with her, his arms bracketing her body as he took over control of their coupling. His hips began to push harder and faster into her, and his chest brushed up and down her spine with each thrust.
Sinclair felt herself approaching the edge of sanity and moved even harder against Jackson with a low-throated growl unlike any sound she’d ever made before. She sucked a breath when a large, hot hand slid up the inside of her thigh.
“Cut loose, sunshine. Come for me,” he ordered gently as he began to press against her clit.
With the sliding pressure on the nerve-filled flesh as well as the long, thick cock filling her, Sinclair felt every ribbon holding her grounded and under control shred.
“Oh God, yes,” she screamed as she threw her head back to rest against Jackson’s shoulder.
Jackson nibbled his way from her shoulder up her neck to lick at her ear as his hips continued pistoning in and out at a faster and faster rate. “That’s right, baby, let it all out. Kick down those barriers. I’ll always take care of you,” he whispered in her ear. “Oh, oh, shit, I’m coming.”
She felt him grow impossibly thicker as he thrust even harder once, twice, and then a third time. He lifted his head from her neck and cried out his release as she felt his semen pulse into her cunt, adding to the wet and heat already there.
When their orgasms finally subsided, he wrapped one arm around her neck and the other around her waist and pulled her so that they fell sideways, his cock still deep in her, linking them.
“God that was incredible,” he growled in a voice soft and gentle. “Are you okay? No bad effects?”
“Mmmm, other than I’m a puddle of goo that you’re going to have to carry out of here? I’m terrific. Are you okay?”
“Oh, sunshine, if you only knew how okay I am.” He nuzzled her and snuggled her even closer into his embrace. “We’ll just rest here a few minutes until I can feel my legs again,” he said with a chuckle. “Then we’ll get dressed and I’ll take you home.”
“What about your job?”
“Taurus gave me the rest of the night off.”
“You won’t get in trouble, will you?”
“No, sunshine, I won’t get in trouble. Taurus was in my position not so very long ago.”
Sinclair frowned at his non-answer. “What position is that?”
“Needing to spend time with a woman.”
With that, Jackson eased his cock from her and rolled her over. He gathered her close and brushed random kisses over her hair as she rubbed her cheek against the silky hair of his chest.
She kissed his chest just above his right nipple and whispered, “I love you, Jackson Matthews.”
She didn’t know why she said it, but it was out there now. He knew how she felt.
* * * *
When Jackson heard the softly-whispered words, everything in him froze. Though he did not know what he would do without Sinclair in his life, he also didn’t want to examine his heart too closely. He’d been running for so long, keeping busy, and not getting involved with anyone except on the most superficial levels, he wasn’t sure he knew how to love anymore.
Not wanting to hurt her, but also not knowing how to respond to her words, he eased away and rose from the bed. It was time to take her home. On the way maybe he’d come up with a way to explain his hesitation at commitment to himself so he could then tell her. Grabbing his clothes, he stepped into the bathroom to clean up and get dressed.
* * * *
Sinclair didn’t expect him to answer, but he surprised her by pulling his arms from around her and rolling from the bed. Without a look in her direction he picked up his clothes and boots. A moment later he disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind him.
Looking around, Sinclair reached for a small white towel that lay on the nightstand. After cleaning up, she crawled from the bed.
Problem was, her body wasn’t fully recovered from the sex. When she tried to stand, her legs buckled and she landed on her hands and knees. Half tempted to hide under the bed for the next six months or so, Sinclair forced herself instead to crawl to where her dress lay on the floor in a puddle. She pulled it on, feeling only slightly better once she’d brushed it down to cover her body as much as it could.
She tried to play back the evening but found that the evening’s intense experiences had melted her synapses as well as her bones and muscle. Instead she narrowed her focus to breathing deep and fighting back tears of disappointment.
“Sunshine, what are you doing on the floor?”
She took a deep breath, pushed down the hurt, lifted her face, and smiled. “You lived up to your word and melted me.”
Chapter 9
“Oh, sunshine, I didn’t mean to melt you completely, just relax you and make you smile,” Jackson said as he crossed and knelt beside her.
He looked into her eyes and saw the hurt. Knowing he’d caused it sent guilt washing through him. Sliding one arm under her knees and the other around her back, he lifted her to rest against his chest. “Rest, baby, I’ll take it from here.”
She tensed as he stood, but then relaxed once he was on his feet and steady. “I don’t know how you can walk, much less carry me,” she muttered into his neck.
He chuckled, but didn’t answer as he carried her out of the playroom. “Do you want to stop for a drink downstairs or just go home?” he asked before brushing a kiss into her hair.
“Home, if it’s okay with you,” she answered softly, then laid her head against his chest.
By the time he reached the main floor of the club, he could tell she had fallen asleep. He
looked at Taurus behind the bar, and the other man frowned for a moment and said something to Jenna, who again sat across from him.
The little Domme turned, and as soon as she saw them, hopped off the barstool and headed in their direction at a quick march. Jackson didn’t stop walking, but did slow his stride until she reached his side.
“Is she okay?”
“Just tired. We relaxed her so much she couldn’t stand up. I’m going to take her home and tuck her into bed. Do you want me to come back?”
“No, you focus on taking care of your lady. That is, after all, a master’s first responsibility,” she said as she opened the door into the front lobby.
“Jenna, you do know I’m not into this as a lifestyle, right?”
“Of course you’re not. You’re too kind and loving and gentle to get off on beating a sub, but I do believe that you have enough dominant characteristics to want to call the shots in your relationships, especially after that ex-bitch of yours. Just remember that while women are instinctively submissive, we can’t read what’s going on in your heart and do need words, which is something you seem to have difficulty with.”
Before Jackson could defend himself, the woman in his arms slurred a soft, “You tell him,” causing the Domme to laugh and Jackson to chuckle.
Stopping at the reception desk, Jackson rested Sinclair on the counter long enough to dig the basket key out of his pocket to claim her things. Jenna helped put Sinclair’s shoes on her feet then tucked the rest of her things in her lap once Jackson picked her up again.
“Good night, boss,” he said as he pushed out the front door.
After strapping Sinclair into the passenger seat, he climbed in and drove. He knew he’d treated Sinclair badly these past months, but had no clue how to make the past up to her.
When he parked in her driveway he reached over. “Sinclair, sunshine, we’re home.”
“Home?” She opened her eyes and looked at him, but he could tell she really wasn’t awake.
“Yes, we’re home. Do you think you can walk inside? Or do you want me to carry you?”
Again, his questions didn’t seem to have much of an impact as she just stared at him with those big gray-green eyes. “Okay,” she finally said before her eyes slid shut again.
“Okay, indeed.” Jackson released both their seat belts before opening her purse and finding her key ring.
Climbing from the car he quickly went to the front door, unlocked it, and pushed it open before returning to the passenger’s door. By the time he opened it, Max had joined them and was dancing around his ankles, begging for attention.
Not able to ignore the happy dog that seemed to have claimed him, Jackson bent and ruffled the dog’s head in greeting.
“Go pee, and hurry up about it. Your lady needs to go to bed.”
Max made a grumbling sound then ran across the yard and peed on the first bush he came to. By the time Jackson had lifted Sinclair into his arms, the dog was back.
“Good boy, now let’s go inside,” Jackson said, half hoping the dog would obey without bribery. On previous visits he’d witnessed that Max was headstrong and stubborn, sometimes exasperating Sinclair with his defiance.
With a yipping bark, the dog turned and led the way into the house. Jackson followed, bumping the front door closed once they were inside. Then he walked through the house, straight to Sinclair’s bedroom. Laying the sleeping woman down, he took a moment to turn on the small lamp on the bedside table.
“Sinclair, sweetie, you need to wake up now.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re home. You need to change into your sleep-shirt and get under the covers.” He took off her shoes and set them on the dresser.
“Okay,” she replied, pushing into a sitting position, then not moving again. Her eyes never flickered.
“Sweetheart?”
“Shhh, I’m dreaming,” she said, sounding drunk and just a little bit whiney.
Jackson chuckled and knew it was the sex that had finished her off. Going to her closet door, he opened it and found a large white T-shirt hanging on the back. That looked like something she would sleep in, so he took it down from the hook and carried it back to the bed.
It took some wrangling, but he finally got Sinclair out of her dress and into the T-shirt. After hanging the dress up on the closet door, he turned and found Sinclair now curled up in the middle of the bed, sound asleep. There was no way she was getting under the covers.
Going to the living room, Jackson found the blanket she wrapped up in on cool evenings and carried it back to the bedroom. Max followed his every move. When he spread the blanket over Sinclair, the dog jumped up and burrowed his way under the blanket and curled up next to his mistress.
Leaning over the bed, Jackson kissed Sinclair on the forehead. “Goodnight, sunshine. Have good dreams and I’ll call later.”
“G’night,” she slurred before snuggling deeper into her pillow.
Another kiss to her cheek and Jackson forced himself to straighten and turn off the light. Walking toward the front door, he turned off the living room lamp and made sure the door was locked before he left.
Climbing in his truck, he started the engine, then sat and just stared at the little house. For a moment he wished he had the guts to go back inside and join Sinclair in her bed, but he needed time and space to do some serious thinking.
* * * *
When Sinclair had not heard from Jackson in a week, she made the hardest decision of her adult life—to give up the man she’d fallen in love with.
Driving home from work that afternoon, she hoped to hold in the tears until she got home. Miserable to her core, she wasn’t paying her normal careful attention to her own driving, or anything outside her car. All she wanted to do was curl up on the couch, eat the pizza she’d just bought, and snuggle with Max until she felt better. Since it was Friday, she had all weekend to wallow in her sadness without having to face anyone except Megan until Monday morning.
When the light turned green, she hit the gas without pausing to look around first as she usually did. She didn’t see the oversized pickup truck run the red light until it was too late and the truck hit her. She screamed as the air bag deployed and smacked her in the face. The windshield shattered as the car folded in around her, and then flipped onto its side.
Then everything went silent. Reaching down with her right hand, she unfastened her seat belt then fought with the air bag so she could breathe. She was amazed at how calm she was, but also knew there was no way she was getting free of her metal prison without help.
Sliding her left hand down, she tried to pull her cell phone out of her skirt pocket. But her fingers wouldn’t obey her command. That was when the pain reached her brain and she screamed again.
“Oh my God, lady, are you all right?”
She didn’t know who asked such a stupid question, but was too busy trying to pant and breathe through the pain to answer them with a snarky, “Duh, do you think I’m okay?”
She heard cars driving past slowly and heard people talking, but didn’t really care what they were saying until a young man leaned in. “We’ve called 911 and they’re sending help. Don’t move, lady.”
“I don’t think I can. I’m in here pretty tight. And I think I broke my hand or my arm or something.”
“Don’t worry, they’ll get you out. Just don’t go anywhere, okay?” the man said.
“Yeah, sure, no problem,” she snarked just as she heard sirens beginning off in the distance.
As they grew louder she separated and identified them. That was yet another thing Jackson had taught her, how to tell if it was an ambulance, police, or one of the big red trucks that was screaming down the road.
In this case she heard all three kinds and multiples of each. Would Jackson be one of her rescuers? Thinking back, she couldn’t remember if he worked the day before or that day, but it didn’t matter. She’d gotten the message. He didn’t want to build a lasting relationship with her
. He just wanted her as his beck and call girl.
Without warning, tears filled her eyes and began to slide across her cheek to drip onto the broken glass she lay upon as the sad reality of her life swamped her.
She’d never see Jackson again.
Her car was probably crushed beyond recognition.
She was hungry and her pizza was smashed and getting cold.
As she was about to lose control and start sobbing, another face peered through the shattered front windshield.
“Hey there,” the man in tan turnouts and yellow helmet said by way of greeting. He looked big and strong and competent with kind eyes, but at that moment, the last person she wanted to see was a fireman. “What’s your name, honey?”
“Sinclair Malone, what’s yours?”
“Andy Zimmerman.”
“Hello, Andy Zimmerman,” she said. She fought to keep from screaming to get her the hell out of here.
“Do you know if Jackson Matthews is working today?” she asked, as if she weren’t wrapped in a twisted hunk of metal with a full gas tank
“Jackson…oh shit, you’re the one,” the man said.
Before she could ask which one, he moved out of her line of vision again.
She heard the deep buzz of men talking, but once again didn’t try to make sense of it. The pain had finally localized. Her left shoulder, left arm, and right ankle seemed to be burning with painful fire. Nothing else seemed to hurt, but she knew she’d probably be sore in the morning.
Then someone else leaned in and started asking questions about her medical history, allergies, medications, and whether she could crawl out on her own. She answered as best she could without getting an attitude. After all, wasn’t it obvious that she couldn’t climb out on her own? The tears continued to fall, but she couldn’t seem to stop them.
Once that person left, they seemed to ignore her alone for a bit. As long as she didn’t move, the pain to her body wasn’t too bad, but the pain in her heart grew even bigger when she thought she heard Jackson’s voice just outside the car.
McKenzie, Cooper - His Beck and Call Girl [Club Esoteria 6] (Siren Publishing Allure) Page 6