by LJ Evans
Praise for
LJ Evans’ Writing
Independent Author Network
2017 1st Place Outstanding Young Adult Book
2017 2nd Place Fiction Book of the Year
The BookLife Prize
Calls my life as a country album "fast-paced, stirring, beautifully written and a pleasure to read."
Reviewers of my life as a Pop album are saying:
"Her beautiful way with words just floats off the page and straight to your heart pulling you in..."
“It’s a story about forgiveness, guilt, love, and change.”
“This was a story of finding love in the midst of grief and guilt and taking chances to find a happy ever after.”
“The characters stole my heart from the first page.”
“Ms. Evans once again, opens our hearts, reaches in and rearranges them with her words and evokes emotions that are so palpable you'll think of her characters for years to come…especially when you hear a lyric from this book.”
“I would literally read anything that this author wrote, she's that talented and her words speak to my heart and soul.”
“Once again the author proved her talent… when she used lyrics… to craft chapters and chapters of words filled with heartfelt emotions and beautiful characters that enticed your entire heart and soul.”
“There was such magic in her words that you can't resist highlighting every sentence because it spoke dearly to your heart...”
This book is a work of fiction. While reference might be made to actual historical events or existing people and locations, the events, names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
my life as a POP album Copyright © 2017 by LJ Evans
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored, in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without the prior written permission of the publisher of this book.
Published by LJ Evans Books
www.ljevansbooks.com
Cover Design © Designed by Grace
Cover Image © Alexey Rumyantsev
Editing Services Megan McKeever
LCN: Publishers’ Cataloging-in-Publications
Evans, L. J., 1970- author.
LJ Evans Books, [2017] | Series: My life as an album series ; v. II.
Subjects: LCSH: Brothers--Death--Fiction. | Brothers and sisters--Fiction. | Man-woman relationships-- Fiction. | Forgiveness--Fiction. | Guilt--Fiction. | Travel--Fiction. | GSAFD: Love stories. | LCGFT: Romance fiction. | BISAC: FICTION / Family Life / General. | FICTION / Family Life / Siblings. | FICTION / Friendship. | FICTION / Romance / Contemporary. | FICTION / Romance / New Adult. | FICTION / Southern. | FICTION / Small Town & Rural. | FICTION / Women.
Classification: LCC: PS3605.V3684 M916 2017 | DDC: 813/.6--dc23
ISBN 13: 9781973515746
ISBN 10: 1973515741
ASIN: B079BK5HZX
Printed in the United States of America
DEDICATION
To philosopher Ed Sheeran for sharing his love stories with the world and for inspiring my love story. To my hubby who understands the words that drive me and loves me anyway. To my daughter who floors me with her own creativity. To my family, readers, and other indie authors who have cheered and supported me in ways that continue to astound me. This is for all of you.
message from the author
Thank you for taking the time to read my story. This book was inspired by music and love and I hope that you are inspired by those same things as you read the words. I know that there are thousands of books for you to choose from, so I am honored that you chose to spend a portion of your life with one of my book babies.
This book can be read as a stand-alone novel. However, it contains Significant Spoilers to the first novel in the series, my life as a country album. If you are interested in reading that novel, there is an excerpt at the end of this book and you can find purchase and reading options at Amazon.com.
If you enjoy reading this book, I would truly appreciate it if you could take a moment to write a review on Amazon and / or Goodreads, and perhaps share the book with others. This is the only way books get out into the world in today’s competitive book market. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking this extra step.
Happy Reading!
LJ Evans
Playlist available at http://bit.ly/MlaapAlje
Hello
HELLO. I’M GOOD GIRL MIA. Mia Andrea Phillips. You probably don’t know me, but you might know my brother Jake. You might know Jake because, for a short while, he was plastered all over the sports channels and magazines as the future of the NFL. That was when he was the superstar quarterback for the University of Tennessee, and before his diabetes and his bad kidneys forced him to quit.
My brother Jake was the first one to call me Good Girl Mia. It was his way of teasing me about never getting in trouble. And it’s the truth. I am a good girl. There’s nothing I can do about it. I have always been the good girl. I’ve been the friend, the helper, the one you could count on. The one to drive you home if you drank too much. The one to stop you from making monumental mistakes. The one who never gave her parents any problems because her brother and his girlfriend gave them enough.
In fact, I’ve been so good at helping others that I actually gave Jake a kidney. Yep. An actual body part. Unfortunately, that didn’t end very well, so maybe I’m not as good at helping out as I’d like to be…
If you are a Good Girl also, then you know how it goes. You know that Good Girls never break rules and that they never, ever run off with the bad boy.
Well then, how in holy potato peels did I end up here, with a sexy as all get out musician laying naked next to me? Well. That’s the real story, isn’t it?
I’M A MESS
The Meet
“I’m a mess right now, searching for sweet surrender.”
-Ed Sheeran
MY BEST FRIEND, NEIGHBOR, and almost sister, Cam, once told me that her life could be played out in a series of Taylor Swift songs. And I understood what she meant because her life with Jake was like all the old Taylor songs. Angst and heartache and yearning.
After I had graduated from the University of Tennessee and moved back home to run the family business, my life became a series of Ed Sheeran songs. “I’m a Mess” seemed to resonate with me at first because I felt like I was just going through the motions while secretly looking for a sweet surrender. And I definitely couldn’t figure out how everything was all going to work out.
I guess that wasn’t completely true as I did have one thing going right for me and that was working at my daddy’s car dealership. The one he planned on handing over to me in the fall. Contrary to most people’s opinion of me, I liked running the dealership. And I loved the vague idea that we might be starting a tradition where someday I would pass the dealership on to my kids. Not that there was any chance in the near future of me having children.
Because, let’s face it, my personal life was the part of my life in all sorts of disarray. You’d never know that by looking at me. I prided myself on the fact that very few people knew about the emotional turmoil that rolled like waves through me on an almost daily basis. My mama once told me that if you went into someone’s house and the place was nice and tidy but the cupboards were a disaster, that it said something about them. And I knew exactly what she meant because that described me to a tee. Neat and tidy outside, chaos on the inside.
My life wasn’t going to get any easier that Jul
y because that’s when HE entered my world, flipping it on its axis even more.
That day it was hotter than blue blazes with the humidity like a wall you could almost see if you squinted hard enough, and I contemplated laying down on the tile showroom floor to cool off like our dog Sparky. But instead, I lifted up every last hair on my head and stood under the air conditioning vent trying to dry the sweat off my neck.
And of course, it was then, when I had my hair, bangs and all, swept up like a Conehead that he sauntered into our dealership. While I was a sweaty puddle, he looked like a Jamie McGuire book boyfriend come to life.
He was lean and muscular in a blue t-shirt and just tight enough ripped jeans that accentuated every sculpted line. Lines of gorgeous muscles that belonged in an underwear ad. He was tall, but not too tall, around about six feet, and had sexy, bed-tousled looking brown hair that highlighted his pale gray eyes. Eyes that were the color of the winter skies right before a tornado. I was a sucker for a boy with tattoos even if I thought I’d never date someone who had them. And this piece of gorgeousness had them.
There were words wrapped around each wrist, and some sort of bird on his neck. None of it was easy to make out over a distance, but that made me think about how, if I was close enough, I could brush aside those curling ends and investigate more. And I suddenly wanted to do that very much. Every fiber in my body was aching to drop my grossly sweaty hair and sweep up his, just so I could get a good look at him, his tattoos, and his scent.
Of course, this had me rolling my eyes inwardly at myself. And it was then that I remembered how ridiculous I must look with no hair and a sweaty grimace. So, I slowly, ever so slowly, let my dark hair drop down wishing I wasn’t as absurd as I looked.
On most days, I was proud of my hair, but I’d just spent thirty minutes in normal Tennessee two o’clock humidity, and I was pretty sure it was flat where I didn’t want it to be, and curling funny where it shouldn’t. But better down then cupped in my hand like a swim cap.
“Ms. Phillips?” he asked in a voice that was lyrically smooth, like a chord from an Ed Sheeran love song. He sounded just like he looked, sultry and intoxicating. The Good Girl Mia side of me was screaming to back away from the boy.
“Yes?” I was surprised to hear my own voice sound so normal while looking at this stunning human being. I’ve read a lot. I mean hundreds upon hundreds of books, and this guy could certainly be on any cover and attract sales like flies attract fish.
And he proved it even more when he smiled, and the smile took over his entire face. It was a smile that showed off the cleft in his chin and eyes that sparkled like rain hitting those clouds inside them.
“Really?” he said while his smile spread more.
“Um. Yes, why?” I asked.
He threw a thumb back over his shoulder. “Those folks back there said I should talk to the owner. They sent me to pick up the car for the charity auction at the Abbott farm tonight.”
I didn’t know what to address first. That he didn’t believe I was the owner, which to be fair was a completely normal mistake as I was only twenty-two, or the fact that he was supposedly picking up Jake’s cherried out Camaro. The Camaro that my family and Cam had agreed to auction off for the American Diabetes Association.
I wasn’t expecting a dark-haired bad-boy to be picking up Jake’s Camaro. I was surprised that Daddy or Cam would let anyone drive it. They were having a hard enough time giving it away. But then, I guess it shouldn’t really be a surprise as none of us wanted to drive it. It was still too emotional for both our families. It had sat in the dealership’s showroom since his death. The mechanics kept it running, but that was it.
“Who exactly told you that you were to pick it up?” I said, making a beeline for the management offices in the back with him tagging along behind me.
“Blake. Well, I guess it was Cam. But Blake said to take her orders as if they were his own. I kind of think it’s really the other way around with those two sometimes.” He winked at me. “Do you know them?”
And again, I didn’t know what to respond to first. The wink that left my still upside-down heart pattering like a kitten who’d just chased a bug, or the absolute nonsense he’d asked about me knowing Blake and Cam.
“She’s pretty much my sister,” I told him flatly as we reached the office. And she pretty much was. We’d grown up next door, and our families shared everything including Sunday dinners. And, if Jake had been alive, she would have married him and made the sister thing legit. Instead she was with Blake who was also from our town but lived in Nashville now as an entertainment lawyer.
I pulled out my iPhone from the desk drawer and texted Cam.
ME: There’s some moron here who says you told him to come get Jake’s car?
I waved the book boyfriend into a chair, buzzed the intercom, and asked Mary Beth for an iced tea. “Would you like anything?” I asked the man.
“Sure, iced tea sounds great.”
My phone buzzed back.
CAM: LOL So you’ve met Blake’s pride and joy?
I stared at the text like it should make sense. She hadn’t really answered.
Mary Beth, who’d worked for my daddy for almost as long as I’d been alive, brought in two sweet teas. She fluffed her hair that was ratted tall like she still belonged to the eighties while she took in the BB, the book boyfriend, in front of her.
“Thanks Mary Beth.”
“That’s such a southern name.” The BB’s grin returned with the cleft in his chin stretching in a way that made it seem like it was smiling too. “I’m really glad I came to Tennessee.”
He took a big gulp of the sweet tea and choked almost as if he’d slammed back a shot of whiskey. “Holy shit, that’s sweeter than cotton candy.”
Mary Beth smiled politely at him. “Thank you.” Then she turned to me. “Anything else you need?”
Mary Beth seemed to think that any time the parts manager or a mechanic or one of the male salesmen came into the office, she had to chaperone me like a debutant. It was both pleasant and smothering at the same time.
“I think we’re good. Thanks. I’ll buzz if I need anything,” I said as I texted Cam back.
ME: You’re telling me the moron is allowed to drive Jake’s prize possession?
I took a sip of the tea and turned to find the keys of the Camaro on the wall behind me. When I turned back to the BB, he was watching me carefully, and I literally fought the urge to wipe at my eyes and fix my hair. I’d never been a girl overly concerned with the way I looked. I didn’t go overkill with the make-up. I fixed my hair in the morning and typically forgot about it until it went up into a messy bun at the end of the day. But this man, this BB, made me want to appear as good as any book girlfriend could look.
My phone buzzed.
CAM: Maybe you’re right. Can you bring it? And bring the pride and joy back with you. Blake will never let me live it down if he gets lost.
I sighed. “They’ve had a change of heart. I’ll give you a ride.”
“What? They don’t want me to pick it up or the car isn’t being donated?”
“Don’t take it personally. The car. It’s just… special,” I said with a pang of emotion in my voice that I hadn’t expressed aloud in a long time.
“But the dealership is donating it anyway?”
“No. My family is donating it.”
He grinned. “Oh. I see.”
“I doubt it.”
I finished my sweet tea quickly. I suddenly needed to get all of this over with. The car and the BB would both be deposited safely, and I could go home where, hopefully, they would both stop pulling at the scabs inside me.
“I’ve been asked to give you a ride back out to the ranch. Seems there is some fear of you getting lost?” I told him.
The BB chuckled. “Damn Blake. He never lets anything slide, does he?”
The BB’s laugh made my insides go squishy again. And I suddenly resented it. I didn’t want this temptation to Mary com
ing into my life and stirring up the pot. I had enough on my plate with taking over the dealership, starting my MBA classes in the fall, and trying to recover from a broken heart. I didn’t need him here making me feel anything, and especially not the desperate longing that hit me when I watched him.
“Let’s go, Lost Boy,” I said as I grabbed my purse, my phone, and the Camaro keys. I stopped by Mary Beth’s desk.
“I’m off. I’ll be at the Abbott’s ranch if you need me for anything.” I looked over at the sales folks that were waiting in the air-conditioned room for a new customer that wasn’t going to show in the summer heat. “I guess I’ll have to leave Denise in charge for now. She’s the only one that can sign contracts while Ben is on vacation.”
Mary Beth patted my shoulder. “Don’t you worry, sugar. We’ll keep this place rolling. Remember, we’re closing early, anyway. Everyone in town will be at Jake’s fundraiser.”
I swallowed back the lump in my throat, nodded, and walked out of the showroom with the BB following me.
HAPPIER
The Camaro
“Promise that I’ll not take it personal baby if you’re moving on with someone new, cause baby you look happier, you do.”
-Ed Sheeran
AS I ROUNDED THE corner of the building, I stopped suddenly at the sight of Jake’s Camaro. It wasn’t like I hadn’t expected it. I’d come out to drive it for goodness sake, but it was still hard to see.
Daddy had had the body department take it out and detail it. It looked sparkling red in the shimmery sunshine. It was so Jake that it was hard to even look at, let alone drive. Jake had loved this car. Even more, he’d loved Cam sitting next to him in it.
“You okay?” The BB seemed to sense that he had stepped into the middle of something but wasn’t quite sure what.