by Trisha Wolfe
He ran a finger along my forearm. I averted my eyes from his and saw Reese staring at us, his eyes blazing red. He slammed his book on the desk and quickly packed it away, then stalked down the steps—his eyes burning a hole through me the whole way. My stomach knotted.
Jace squeezed my hand, and I met his eyes. “Yeah, I could use a little play time,” I said, biting down on my lip after the last word. I’d have bitten right through it if it meant I was able to focus on that pain rather than the stabbing in my chest.
He pulled me up and led me through the classroom. I knew at that moment it was wrong for me to find solace in Jace’s touch, but he was one of my best friends. Even though he was part of the reason I was experiencing the pain, I still found comfort in being near him. It was a strange mix of emotions—one that I just didn’t have the strength to explore.
We met Lana and Nick in the courtyard. The sun shone, illuminating the green grass and tulips planted along the Academy’s inner walls. It would have been peaceful if not for the noise in my head.
“So,” Nick said, stretching out on the grass. “Have we come up with a place to spar? I’m dying to test out my full power.”
I was nervous. I hadn’t yet roamed the Academy, but I was sure we wouldn’t find an isolated spot to train. Not without risking too much.
Jace sat down next to me. “Actually, I think I might’ve found a place.” I jerked my head toward him, eyebrows raised. “I was scoping out the gym yesterday, and there’s a basement underneath. Full of cleaning supplies and janitorial stuff.”
“You can’t be serious, Jace,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m sure the staff uses that. We’d be caught in no time.”
“Yeah, plus I don’t want to smell like cleaning products,” Lana said.
Jace smiled. “I thought about that,” he said, looking at me. “But I figured I’d check it out for a few days. See when they go down there, what their schedule is, and then plan around our blocks.”
I sat back on my palms. “What if there’s a cleaning emergency?” I asked. “Like a kid throws up or something.”
Nick laughed. “I highly doubt the staff would be called in for that.” He tilted his head. “We could do it late at night. Sneak out. No one would be summoned for a late night cleaning session then.”
“That’s not a bad idea.” Jace glanced at me. “I mean, we’re already rebels. Might as well add sneaking out to the list.” He winked.
I shook my head, laughing. “All right. Whatever. Count me in.” Then I held up a finger to him. “On the condition that you promise it’s safe.”
“I’d never endanger you guys.” He took my hand. My face flamed as Nick and Lana nonchalantly looked at each other, engaging in a private conversation. Jace leaned closer to me. “Can we go for a walk?”
Forcing in a breath, I nodded. Jace helped me to my feet, and we walked hand-in-hand through the courtyard. Shythe and Narcos were mixing together, practicing their power. I watched as a group of Shythe took turns sending bolts of Charge at a target. It was bizarre seeing Kythan so openly using their power.
“What?” Jace asked, threading his fingers through mine.
“I was just thinking how crazy it is here.” I glanced around. “We’re taught to hide our power. Here, people treat it like it’s a sport.”
Jace nodded. When we reached the other side of the courtyard, he leaned against the stone wall, bringing me close before him. He held both my hands in his, rubbing his thumbs over the tops as he stared at them.
“How do you feel about me, Dez?” He kept his eyes lowered. “I just have to know. Either way, you’re my best friend. But…I need to know.” He looked up into my eyes.
This was the moment of truth. How did I feel about Jace? I averted my eyes. My turn to stare at the ground. “I care about you. You’ve been like a brother to me my whole life.” I smiled to myself. “And I’m not blind. You’ve definitely gotten cuter over the years.” I glanced up, he was smiling. “But I’m not going to lie and say it didn’t completely throw me when you kissed me.”
Jace’s face fell. “I know. That was stupid. I…” He shook his head “I was lost in the moment. I thought you were there with me.”
“I was.” I blew air through my lips. “I mean, I care about you. I just don’t know in what way yet.” I looked at our joined hands for a moment before meeting his eyes again. “I don’t want to ruin what we already have.”
He cocked his head. “No matter what, Dez, I’d never blame you if things didn’t work out.” He brushed a stray hair behind my ear. “But I at least want to try.”
I bit my lip, thinking. What I’d shared with Reese was so intense, so special. Could that really be over? Just like that? He didn’t even give me a chance to explain before he tossed it away, ignoring me and going out with some other girl. How could I break Jace’s heart in this moment? If I’d ruined everything with Reese, and he was done with us, why did I have to hurt Jace, too?
“Okay.” I pressed my lips together. “But can we take it slow? There’s so much going on. Let’s not lose focus.”
Jace beamed, his eyes squinting into his endearing, smoldering smile. He pulled my hands toward him and wrapped his arms around me in an intimate embrace. I guess this is slow for him, at least compared to the kiss. I hugged him.
He was still my Jace.
I pulled back, ready to find Nick and Lana, and Reese caught my eye. My heart plummeted. His eyes trailed over me and my hand holding Jace’s. His face pinched, then he turned his back to us.
He was acting just like the Narcos that had raised him. I gritted my teeth, and anger burned in the pit of my stomach like a ball of Flame.
Chapter Fifteen
I CUT OUT OF THE rec room early, slogging myself up the stairs to my unit instead of taking the lift. I didn’t like riding it alone. That cramped, mobile space weirded me out. After I put down my bag, I crashed on my bed, allowing the day to wash over me.
With all the guy drama renting too much space in my head, I’d almost forgotten about the headmaster’s vague speech today. Normally, Jace would be upset over something like that, accusing him of some conspiracy concerning the Narcos. But lately, ever since his change, he seemed to be more focused on me.
I didn’t think the Narcos were up to no good—at least not like Jace did—but the headmaster dodging the one thing we all truly wanted to know irked me. Why, after almost twenty years of living in segregated havens, were the Narcos here on a mingling mission to create peace that had already been established? Could Jace’s theory be right, and they really wanted to harness our power?
Great. Now I was reaching. Or, I just wanted anything else to think about. I was tired, ill feeling, and sick of trying to figure out what to do about Reese. Obviously, he’d made my decision for me. He didn’t feel what we shared was worth trying to work out. He didn’t even think I was worth the effort of talking things through. Well, if he was through with us and already moving onto another girl, I wasn’t going to reject and hurt my best friend while waiting for Reese to get over himself.
I admitted that what had happened sucked. But it wasn’t my fault. If he couldn’t see that, if he was too hotheaded to allow me an explanation…hell, if he was too proud to dump me face-to-face, then I’d give Jace the chance he asked for. At least someone in this sordid situation could be happy. And maybe, after I got Reese out of my system, I’d find that the feelings I’d been forming for Jace had been real all along. And that Reese—someone different, like me—had swooped in and blindsided me.
I looked at my reflection in my dressing mirror, nodding to myself in finality. We’d only spent a week together. It wouldn’t be that hard to get over him. But what a wickedly hot week. I banged my head against the mirror.
Frustrated, I threw myself across my bed and tossed my boot at the dial, outing the crystal lights.
For the rest of the week, I promised myself I’d focus on my studies. I buried myself in work from Mr. Liam’s class, taking on extra projec
ts, only pausing long enough to sleep and meet the triplets in the janitorial basement for our secret training sessions. We’d decided sparring twice a week was the max. Any more, and we’d run the risk of getting caught. Even though I thought sneaking around was a bad idea, I loved being able to spar again. I vented my frustrations through my fists.
Nick quickly became frightened of me.
My Charge surpassed theirs. And even though I didn’t use my power at its full capacity, since I never shifted, I still won most matches easily. I purposely backed off, allowing Nick to whip me a couple times so he’d stop commenting on my “mad” skills.
As far as teachers went, Mr. Liam was actually cool. I loved learning how to infuse crystals, using my Charge in different devices to make them run on electricity instead of steam. I began working on my own private project. Mr. Liam was the professor who’d worked with Devon to develop the contraptions for Cogs, and he’d agreed to help me, also.
I hadn’t had time to think about my strange white power, which was good in some ways—I didn’t worry about it. But I was still concerned it would appear during my shift. And I couldn’t avoid that forever. Jace had begun asking me to show him my Kythan form. I deflected his questions by expressing how strange it was for me at this point. He didn’t fully understand, but allowed me to have my weird quirk, remaining in his human form most of the time, too. I assumed to make me feel less weird around others.
Like Devon and Mr. Liam had infused crystals with Charge in order to contain our power, I wanted to invent something that could absorb mine. Something small that I could wear or carry in case my power began getting out of control—the way it had during my first shift. Something that could divert the power away from me. I had no idea how to go about doing this, so I dove into my studies, learning everything I could about energy transfer.
Jace kept his promise, taking our relationship slow. He hadn’t attempted to kiss me again, but we held hands, sat together during dinner and breakfast, and even studied together. It really wasn’t any different than how our relationship had been before, except for the way he looked at me sometimes. And how he’d touch my hair, caress my skin, or kiss my hand. I wasn’t going to lie and say I didn’t feel anything when he was near me—the boy was hot. And maybe if I’d never met Reese and shared that amazing week with him, being with Jace would feel like enough. But when I was with him, I couldn’t help feeling like there was a void.
Reese got closer to the Shythe girl, as well. They sat together at every meal, and in every class. I never saw him hold her hand or kiss her—I never watched for that long. Whenever I saw Reese, I’d turn and go another way. I also tried my best not to look at him during class. Being so near him I felt raw, like my soul was an open wound being submerged in salt water. At times it was hard to breathe.
By Friday, Kythan everywhere were anxious for the weekend. We had a curfew, midnight, but no one seemed to mind because we actually got to leave the Academy grounds. Lana was beyond excited as she talked about finally seeing Devon, so we made plans to go to Cogs.
Although I kept in contact with my mom through my communicator, she wanted to see me in person. I felt like I should allow her to see with her own eyes that I was alive and well and that life at the Academy was safe. So I made a separate set of plans to visit her on Saturday.
I only had to make it through my last class, my power training block, and then this horrible week would be over. I finished stretching out and stepped onto the mat with the rest of the students. Our instructor, Ms. Ceylon, eyed me from behind her whistle.
“Harkly,” she called out. “Front and center. You’re power matching Patcher today.”
My heart sped, hammering in my ears as I heard Reese’s last name. I looked to the side of the mat, and he took his place in front of the targets. Great. Fighting with power had been outlawed since the Treaty Act, but we still tested our power levels, training to become more powerful Kythan. Reese was the worst person she could have pitted me against. He knew all my weaknesses.
I slowly sidled up beside him and shook out my hands. He glanced over, but didn’t say a word. As his arms ignited with a red glow, I turned up the juice on my Charge.
He ripped a ball of Flame across the gym, hitting the target dead center.
“Nice, Patcher,” Ms. Ceylon said. “Harkly, your turn. Just aim for the center like Reese.”
I really didn’t like her right then. I held out my hand, shaking a little. God, why did he have to be such a showoff? He knew I couldn’t blast that stupid target. I mean, I could, but then I’d risk releasing too much energy. Probably even blast the target to shreds. I quivered with restraint as I released a bolt. It skipped along the mat and crashed into the wall.
Ms. Ceylon blew her whistle. “Nice try, Harkly. But no one’s beat Patcher yet. Keep practicing.”
I glared at Reese, and he craned an eyebrow, a smug expression plastered on his face. So what if he showed me up here? What did that prove? I doubted he could beat me if no one else was around. No, that wasn’t true. I’d never gotten to spar with him. But he knew I couldn’t take him on in front of everyone. Punk.
He sauntered his cocky self off the mat over to the Shythe girl, and my insides flamed. I blew out a deep, cleansing breath and took a seat on the bench for the rest of the block.
After power training let out, Lana and I hurried to our room to get changed. She wanted desperately for me to dress up with her and wear one of her corsets, and I finally conceded—picking out a light pink one with lace trim. It was way too perky for my sulk, but maybe it would make me seem less downhearted.
We met Jace and Nick in the back of the Academy, where we were allowed to store our vehicles, and I rode with Jace to the club.
Once we were in Cogs, Lana ran up to Devon and jumped into his arms. Yeah, she was definitely getting serious about him. They fit together so well it made my heart ache, missing that feeling for myself, although I was truly happy for her.
Glancing away from them, I studied the lighting system above my head, looking at it differently now that I understood—somewhat—how it worked. Jace came up beside me.
“Come on,” he said, taking my hand. “Let’s dance.”
I looked around, expecting to see Reese, but he was MIA. I laced my fingers through Jace’s, trying not to feel guilty. It was apparently—at least for Reese—over between us. I needed to move on. I wasn’t using Jace as the rebound guy, he deserved better, but I was confused about how to behave around him. I hoped he’d discover he’d been wrong about his feelings for me and that soon things would go back to normal between us.
I finally nodded. “All right.” Then I allowed him to lead me to the floor where Lana and Devon were dancing.
Almost a week ago, Jace had held me the same way he did now, and my world had shattered. My stomach knotted as he drew me closer. I tried to shove my unease away—telling myself I had no reason to feel ashamed—and wrapped my arms around him tighter.
We swayed to the slow music. An orchestra of violins and guitars engulfed us as steam swirled. I attempted to lose myself in the warmth of his embrace. I felt comfortable in his arms, protected. But just like the night of my birthday celebration, dancing with him felt off, strange, and like something was missing.
Jace pressed his lips to my forehead, leaving them there as he cradled me to his chest. He smelled like wind and ocean, with a hint of something sweet that was only Jace. His head pulled back, and I looked into his eyes as he moved closer. I panicked. Could I kiss him again? I wanted to. I wanted to kiss him freely this time, without Reese between us, and discover if I could feel for him what he felt for me.
But before our lips touched, someone interrupted our trance. A Narco stood beside Jace, one that I’d seen at the Academy. “Can I cut in?” he asked, lifting his brow.
Jace squinted at him, then looked to me. I shrugged. “I don’t mind,” I said, disappointed and a little relieved at the same time. I hadn’t been sure if I could actually follow throu
gh with the kiss.
“Yeah, that’s fine, man,” Jace told the Narco. “But she’s mine for the rest of the night.” He made his statement clear by kissing me on the cheek before walking away.
I smiled to myself, thinking Jace had come a long way if he was levelheaded enough to allow a Narco to dance with me rather than picking a fight in the middle of Cogs. Maybe he was accepting that we could live in peace, after all. Or maybe he was trying to prove something to me. Either way, I was relieved.
The Narco nodded his head once to me, and I moved closer, allowing him to take me in his arms. He was taller than Jace and even Reese, so I felt awkward with my head pressed against his chest. But he was being gentlemanly, keeping his hands along my back. I guess he just wants to dance.
Before we could become comfortable with one another, someone else near us asked to cut in. Are you joking? Lana’s pink corset must have made me look like a hot commodity. I backed away, but then froze as Reese took the Narco’s place.
The club suddenly felt ice cold as the blood drained from the top half of my body. His hands hesitantly clasped my waist, but he kept a small distance between us. There was no warmth—no Narco power emanating from him. I urged my heart to calm as I closed the gap, molding my body into his embrace. He took a sharp breath.
Reese kept his head forward, eyes trained on something…other than me. Fine. I swallowed my pride and rested my head against his shoulder. His body stiffened.
My mind reeled, but I had to think of something to say. “How’re you liking the Academy?” Lame. But I was only trying to break the ice shield around him.
He huffed. “It’s all right.” He swayed us back and forth, but didn’t say anything else.
I timidly ran my hands along his back, reveling in the feel of his muscles beneath his leather jacket. I squeezed my eyes shut. “Reese…”
“Don’t.” He drew away from me a little.