“I guess so.” The rookie motioned toward the far wall. “But maybe next time, I’ll remember the sign.”
Cade glanced back at the bright yellow sign posted near the jump list. It warned in big black letters that Stupid Hurts.
His lips twisted. Stupid hurt, all right. Even knowing better, he’d let Jordan trample his heart.
“Well, anyway,” the rookie continued. “I owe you, man. Big-time.”
“Just buy me a drink next time you’re back this way.”
“It’s a deal.” The rookie grinned, his smile wide in his cleanly shaved face, and Cade noticed how young he looked, hardly over twenty.
Which made him suddenly feel old.
Just then the siren blared, ending their conversation, and they both turned toward the operations desk. Cade felt the familiar surge of adrenaline, followed by a swift jab of disappointment. His name wasn’t on that list.
The siren faded, and the operations foreman grabbed the mike. “We have a twelve-person jump request to the Bob Marshall Wilderness,” he announced. He turned to the jump list on the wall beside him. “Jumpers will be Susan Jennings, Jim Seibert, Rick Crossley…”
“Got to go!” The rookie darted to his locker, yanked out his Kevlar jump pants and rammed his legs inside.
The foreman finished reading the list, and people streamed into the ready room, instantly engulfing it in controlled commotion. Those not leaving began helping the jumpers suit up. Others snapped on parachutes and handed off gear. Everyone worked as a team to get the jumpers on the plane and off to the fire with lightning speed.
Feeling useless and in the way with his bum arm, Cade called the dog and moved outside to the ramp. He strolled past the shelves stocked with para cargo—climbing spurs and trauma kits, freeze-dried food and cubes of water—then leaned against a crate in the shade to watch the action. One by one, the jumpers staggered out of the ready room to the waiting Twin Otter, barely staying upright under the weight of their equipment.
A minute later, Trey wandered out and joined him in the shade. The Otter’s engine whined as the pilot prepared for takeoff. The spotter stood outside the door performing last-minute safety checks before the jumpers climbed on board. Cade felt the excitement in the air, the anticipation, and wished to hell he could get on that plane.
“Where are you on the list?” he asked Trey.
“About ten down now. I should make the next load.”
“Lucky man.” Cade sucked in a breath of jet fumes and blew it out.
“Yeah. This is turning into a great season for overtime pay.” He shot Cade an apologetic smile. “Hell of a time to get injured.”
“Yeah.” It was, but the risks were part of the job.
Trey tilted his head. “You planning on keeping the dog?”
Cade turned slightly to glance at the mutt, who was nosing around the trash can in the corner. And he remembered how Jordan had protected that dog, carrying him through the river and across the fire, even defying a mountain lion to save him.
A weight pressed down on his heart. “I don’t have much choice. He saved my life. The least I can do is feed him.”
“Have fun. That mutt ate three burgers and a large order of fries last night.”
Cade blinked. “You took him out for hamburgers?”
“Hey, it was a special occasion.”
Cade raised his brows.
“His first bath?”
“Right.” Cade shook his head and grinned, doubting Jordan would approve of that diet. But Jordan would never know what the dog ate. A swift cramp rent his heart, blocking his breath. Damn, he needed to get her out of his head.
Just then the rookie swaggered by on his way to the plane. “Thanks again, McKenzie,” he called. Then he laughed and said something to a female bro, his face beaming with excitement.
Cade shook his head again. “Man, those rookies look young.”
“We were the same age when we started.”
“Twenty-three.” And he could still remember how desperately he’d wanted to become a smokejumper, to belong to the firefighting elite. He’d worked like hell to get through rookie training, and he’d been so damned proud when he’d made it.
“You remember that trip to Cancún?” Trey asked.
“How could I forget it?” They’d headed down to Mexico right after that first season had ended, intending to have some fun. Two kick-ass smokejumpers out to raise hell on the beach.
And then he’d met Jordan.
She’d been even younger than he was, just out of high school. And his heart had fallen fast.
The last jumper climbed into the Otter, and the spotter leaped aboard. Seconds later, the plane turned and rolled down the runway. The engines screamed as it picked up speed and lifted off.
Cade watched it head toward the distant mountains and disappear into the hot blue haze. He loved that moment when the plane took off, when he was soaring into the sky toward adventure, never knowing what would await him or what incredible sights he might see.
Living the smokejumper dream.
“Easy to make mistakes at that age,” Trey said.
“I guess.” Cade tugged his attention back to earth and touched his sling. The rookie had made a mistake, all right, taking him out for the season. But everyone screwed up sometimes.
Even him. And he’d screwed up big-time with Jordan.
“I always liked her, you know,” Trey added. “I figured she must have had a reason to leave.”
Cade didn’t pretend not to understand. It was obvious he was talking about Jordan. He squinted out at the hazy sky. “She had a miscarriage.”
“Yeah? You never told me she was pregnant.”
“I didn’t know.”
Neither spoke for several moments. A bro laughed from inside the building. In the distance, a car door slammed. The dog wandered over and sniffed the bicycle parked near the crates.
“That must have been rough on her,” Trey finally said.
“Yeah.” Cade’s chest squeezed as he pictured the scene. Jordan lying in the hospital, scared and alone, her beautiful eyes black with terror, her face as pale as the sheets.
He fisted his hand, knowing how much she had suffered, imagining her fierce pain and grief.
And she’d been so damn young. Hell. Could he really blame her for bolting?
Guilt slid through his gut. He’d hardly been perfect. He’d been full of himself back then, cocky, just like the rookie he’d saved. Too caught up in the thrill of smokejumping to notice her needs.
He should have paid more attention. He never should have brushed her complaints or fears aside.
And he should have discussed his decision to join that booster crew with her. They’d been married, for God’s sake, but he’d still acted as if he were single.
Remorse soured his gut. So he wasn’t blameless. She’d been right about that.
And she’d been right about something else. They hadn’t talked enough. They’d both made assumptions that had ruined their marriage. He’d figured she could cope on her own. She’d thought he only cared about his job.
“I was in Alaska when it happened,” he said.
“Living the dream.”
“Right.” The twist of his lips was sardonic. But was it really a dream if it had cost him Jordan? Was any job, even this one, worth losing the woman he loved?
He squinted into the sunny haze. Back when he’d first started, he’d thought so. Smokejumping was everything to him. It was what he was born to do and the first place he’d ever belonged. And nothing could have stopped him from jumping.
But in the end, was it worth the price? Did fighting fire matter more to him than Jordan?
The truth slammed into him then, knocking the air from his lungs. He’d been wrong. God, he’d been wrong. He needed Jordan far more than any job. He always had.
Sure he liked smokejumping, and it would pain him to give it up, but he could do something else. He could become a dispatcher or base foreman, train r
ookies or rig parachutes. This wasn’t the only job where he could excel.
But he couldn’t survive without Jordan. She completed him and made him whole. She loved him, cared for him in a way no one else ever could.
And she mattered far more to him than smokejumping ever had.
His gut cramped, and a fierce desperation seized him. He had to find her and stop her from leaving. He had to apologize and plead for another chance.
But where could he find her? He didn’t know which motel she’d stayed in, or even if she’d stayed in town overnight. For all he knew, she could have taken a red-eye flight from Missoula and be back in Virginia by now.
Panicked, he turned around.
“You need a ride somewhere, McKenzie?” Trey rubbed his jaw, not quite hiding his smirk.
“Yeah.” Cade blew out his breath. No one hid anything from the bros. “But you’re too high on the jump list. I’ll bum a ride from someone else.” Although where he’d look for Jordan, he didn’t know.
He whistled, and the dog trotted over. “Did you happen to buy a leash?”
“Right here.” Trey pulled a coiled leash from his pocket, snapped it onto the collar beneath the dog’s bandanna and handed the end to Cade. “You’re sure you want to take the dog with you?”
“Oh, yeah.” This mutt had saved his life up on that mountain. Maybe now he could help rescue his heart.
Chapter 18
T he taxi pulled to the curb in front of the smokejumper base and stopped. Her heart flipping erratically, Jordan scanned the familiar one-story complex fronting the shimmering tarmac. Mountains framed the horizon beyond the airfield, their high peaks melting into the haze.
A tour group gathered in front of the gift-shop door, chatting and angling their cameras at the buildings. A sprinkler launched water onto the parched grass, its ticking swoosh rhythmic in the morning sun. The scent of freshly mown grass rose in the hot Montana breeze, triggering memories of the times she’d come here with Cade.
But she didn’t feel that bitterness anymore, that old sense of loss that being at the base once evoked. She felt at peace now, settled and filled with a sense of rightness.
She’d finally accomplished what she’d set out to do. She’d banished those old ghosts.
Just not the ones she had expected.
“Is this the right place?” the taxi driver asked.
“Yes.” It was definitely the right place. It had been a long journey back here, years filled with resentment and misunderstanding, painful growth and change. But she was finally back where she was supposed to be.
“You want me to wait?”
“No, I’m fine.” She pulled her wallet from her purse and handed him a bill. “You can keep the change,” she added.
“Thanks.” While the driver leaped out and came around the car, she collected her purse and bag, opened her door and slid from the seat. He took her crutches from the rear seat and handed them over.
She propped them under her arms. At least Phil had taken the breakup better than she’d expected. He’d been wounded at first, due to the blow to his pride. But then he’d admitted that he’d sensed this might happen. And in a way, he was relieved.
Because truthfully, she’d changed since they’d first started dating. She wasn’t the dependent, security-seeking woman he’d first asked out. And now that they both understood that, they made far better friends than potential lovers.
Just then the side door of the parachute loft opened and a smokejumper strode out with a dog. Her dog. Her gaze flew to the man’s handsome face. Her heart tripped, then started quaking.
Cade. Oh, God.
Her nerves leaped like a crowning wildfire. Her pulse rocketed like that blowup blasting uphill. Her breath backed up in her lungs, and she couldn’t suck in the dense air.
His eyes met hers from across the yard and he stopped. Time faltered, then stretched to a standstill. The world around them faded and blurred.
Frozen in place, she just stared at him, her gaze devouring every detail. The spiked blond hair fringing the solid cords of his neck. The iron strength of his biceps beneath the black T-shirt. The olive-drab pants hanging low on his hips and the sling cradling his arm. He looked rugged and brave, and so god-awful sexy that she ached to rush over and hug him.
“Is that everything?” the driver asked.
“Yes,” she whispered, still trapped by those dazzling eyes. Cade was everything, all right. He was the man she’d been destined to love.
She couldn’t read his expression from where she stood, couldn’t tell if he would give her a chance to explain. But at least he hadn’t turned away yet. Hope surged hard in her chest.
The dog jumped and strained against the leash, then let out a welcoming yip. Without taking his gaze from hers, Cade started striding forward.
Her stomach clenched in a rush of nerves. Even if Cade agreed to hear her out, he might never forgive her. She now knew how badly she’d acted. But she was going to try.
The driver cranked the engine and pulled away from the curb, and she glanced at the departing cab. Another ending. She’d had enough of those in her life.
Her throat balled, and she turned back to Cade. Now it was time for a new start, another beginning. And this one mattered most of all.
Her heart thrumming, she adjusted her crutches and hobbled toward him. They met on the grass halfway to the loft. She stopped just inches away, the air so thick now she couldn’t breathe.
He flicked his gaze over her, and her heart made a long, slow roll in her chest. Their eyes latched again, and she felt the familiar hum of awareness, the intensity and heat.
And she couldn’t tear her gaze away.
“Hey,” he murmured. His low, husky voice raised the hair on her arms, like a shiver on the warm wind. “You’re looking good.”
Her lips curved. “Cleaner, anyway.” He looked more than good, and she longed to wrap herself around him, to caress those gorgeous muscles and taste the feverish heat of his skin. To stoke that hunger that drove them both wild.
But she had something to say first. Jerking her mind back to her mission, she swallowed hard. “Cade, I…I wanted to tell you, I—”
Dusty bumped her leg, then leaped up and braced his paws on her chest. She staggered on her crutches to keep her balance.
“Whoa, there.” Cade lunged forward and grabbed her arm, and his hot touch seared though her skin.
She shivered hard. “I’m okay,” she breathed. The dog dropped his paws, and Cade slowly released her arm.
She moved aside her crutches so she could bend down and pet the dog. She scratched beneath his ears, and smiled when he let out a whine. “He looks nice all clean and brushed. And I like his bandanna.” It gave him a rakish look.
“The bros got it. They like him.”
“That’s good.” She sucked in her breath and slowly straightened. “Listen, Cade, I came to tell you I…”
His gaze slammed into hers again, so intense that she couldn’t think. Waves of desire crashed through her, wedging the air in her throat. Dear God, how she loved this man. “I, uh…”
“What?” His eyes narrowed, the heat only slightly banked.
Her pulse tripped, then sprinted through her veins. “I wanted to tell you, I…”
She stopped and dragged in a breath. She had to get a grip. She was mucking this all up, not even making sense.
Then the tour group wandered past, staring and smiling at Cade, and stopped on the nearby sidewalk. The tour guide joined them, and the visitors clustered around, eager to hear about the smokejumper life.
“Why don’t we sit in the shade?” Cade suggested.
“Good idea.” She didn’t want an audience when she bared her soul.
“I’ll take your bag,” he said.
“I can handle it.”
“I know.”
His gaze met hers, and his mouth slid into a grin. That sexy, soul-pounding grin. The thumping of her pulse grew faster.
“Thanks.�
�� She handed him the bag.
They walked silently across the road toward a small, shaded park, Dusty trotting between them. A picnic table sat under a cottonwood tree, near the antique lookout display. The parking lot bordered one side, the frontage road another, partially sheltering them from prying eyes.
She lowered herself to the bench, facing the road. Cade sat down beside her, and she propped her crutches against the table. Dusty dropped to the grass at their feet.
She reached down again and scratched the dog’s ears, wondering how to begin. He swished his tail along the grass and licked her hand, and a spurt of warmth mellowed her heart. At least he had a better life.
But would she?
Her heart trembling, she sat back. This was it, the moment of truth. She dragged in her breath and met his gaze. “I came here because I was hoping that we, that maybe…I mean, I know I don’t deserve it, but I love you and…” Her breath hitched. “Oh, God, Cade—”
“Jordan.” His deep voice stopped her.
He reached over and picked up her hand, and the air in her lungs stalled. He cradled her hand in his bigger one, his rough calluses tingling the skin around her bandage. Scars branched from his fingers to his forearm, testimony to years spent working in the forests. His tendons flexed with power and strength.
How could she have ever doubted that she could depend on this man?
“I was just heading out to look for you,” he said.
“You were?” Her heart abruptly lost its rhythm.
“Yeah.” He stared at their joined hands. He stroked her wrist with his thumb, sending shivers along her nerves, then threaded his lean fingers with hers. “I wanted to ask you for another chance.”
Her heart stuttered. Her pulse made a long, hard beat through her skull, then hammered in her ears.
He still wanted her. Tears swelled in her eyes, and she blinked to clear them away.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, her throat so cramped she could barely speak. “I was such a fool. And I messed everything up.”
A sad, tight smile twisted his lips, and he tightened his grip on her hand. “I’m the one who should apologize. You were right, what you said before. I should have talked to you more. And I did care too much about my job.”
Feisty Firefighters Bundle Page 50