by Hotcheri
“So you must be Celsi.” Vanessa extended her hand out to me, her serious green eyes on my face. “I’m Vanessa Wright, Luke’s mother. I would say ‘nice to meet you’ but I don’t think I should. Not under these circumstances.”
She smiled, showcasing her dimples.
“You look so much like Luke,” I blurted out as she rummaged in her little doctor’s box and drew out some antiseptic and cotton gauze.
Her smile widened. “Thank you. I wouldn’t know, since I haven’t seen him in years.” She started dabbing at my face and I winced at the pain. “Sorry, it stings. Anyway, when Astor’s jet landed on the roof of the hospital I volunteer at, I was shocked. And when I heard that my only child had just collapsed due to an exploded aneurysm- how do you deal with news like that?”
“It must have been overwhelming,” I murmured.
“To say the least. But it shows great growth of character that Astor actually sent for me. I was beginning to think I was never going to see Luke again.” She took a deep, bracing breath, her voice trailing off as she worked efficiently on my face. “What a jackass,” she muttered to herself suddenly.
“What?” I said, startled.
“The person who did this to you. Unbelievable what people think they can get away with.”
She muttered under her breath as she carefully put bandages on my face. Then she stepped back and looked at her handiwork.
“There. I can see the beauty in you now. I don’t even know you, but I’m proud of you. You have more power than you know.”
Vanessa sat down next to me.
“Thank you,” I said, hoping I wasn’t going to cry again.
“It’s the least I could do for my son’s girlfriend.” She beamed. “It feels so strange, thinking about Luke having a girlfriend. In my mind, he’s still a baby, playing with his building blocks. But I’m glad he’s more open minded than his father is.”
“He is,” I agreed.
Biting her lip, Vanessa stood up and reached into her handbag. “When I first got here, Astor gave me this.” She drew out a notebook that I recognized straight away.
“Luke’s list,” I whispered. My eyes filled with tears. We were supposed to finish it, Luke. Together!
Vanessa nodded, her face solemn. “Yes. He told me that the two of you worked on this. I’m really impressed.” She sat down next to me again, holding the book out to me. “I think you should hang on to it, until he wakes up. He would want you to, I can tell.”
A mixture of emotions ran through me as I took the proffered book, running a finger up and down the spine. Oh, Luke. Would we ever finish the list?
“Go to the last page. I think he left you a special message,” Vanessa prompted.
Curiously, I flipped to the last page, where Luke’s ‘unattainable goals’ were scrawled across the page in his neat writing.
‘Have a wish come true. Say ‘I love you’ and really mean it. Accept myself for who I am.’
I smiled to myself, tracing the words with my finger. He had been so earnest when he had talked about how he would never be able to reach those milestones.
As my eyes fell on the last goal, my breath hitched in my throat. Could this really be? ‘Fall deeply and madly in love- helplessly and unconditionally.’ I heard Vanessa chuckle next to me, but all I could see was the tiny words written next to that goal. There was Luke’s trademark happy face, the symbol he put for every completed goal and the word ‘done’ but that wasn’t what had caught my eye. Next to that, Luke had written ‘with Celsi Sawyer.’
CHAPTER 31
everything’s gonna be alright.
I stared at the handwritten declaration for a long time, swallowing past a lump in my throat. Oh, Luke... My eyes were swimming with tears as I finally looked up at Vanessa, only to see her wipe away tears of her own.
“I didn’t-,” I started, blinking back the tears. My voice broke and I cleared my throat. “I didn’t know he felt this way.”
Patting my knee, Vanessa said, “You’re obviously very special to him. Hope told me that Astor was trying to keep you apart by telling him to dump you but he never listened to his ‘advice’.” Vanessa shook her head, looking disgusted at Mr. Astor’s intended manipulation of Luke. “That sounds like love to me.”
“But when he tried to explain that to me, I wasn’t very compassionate.” A tear trickled down my cheek as I remembered just how difficult I’d been when Luke had let what his dad had said slip. And now it was eating me up inside because I hadn’t gotten a chance to say sorry. What if something happened to Luke? You’ll feel guilty for life, Celsi. “I wish I could take it back. I wasn’t even mad at him, my pride was just hurt.”
Sighing, Vanessa nodded at my tearful explanation as though she understood where I was coming from. “I know a little about hurt pride,” she said cryptically, twisting her lips up in a humorless smile. I looked up at her, sure that she was talking about her relationship with Mr. Astor, but she didn’t elaborate. “You’re here now and you had to go through hell just to be by Luke’s side.” She stared solemnly at my bruised and bandaged face. “To me, that says a lot about you. So you can stop beating yourself up about anything else.”
I smiled at Vanessa, the action hurting my bruised up face, and was rewarded by a genuine smile back. “Thank you, Vanessa,” I whispered just as the door to the room opened and Hope walked back in.
“I’m sorry I had to leave, I get squeamish,” she explained, sitting down next to me on the bed.
Vanessa smiled kindly. “I think I did a pretty good job. Numbed your skin before I got started- you didn’t even notice I gave you stitches did you?”
“No.” I touched my cheek, startled, before looking up at Vanessa, my eyes filled with gratitude. “You’re a really good doctor.”
Shrugging like it wasn’t a thing; Vanessa said, “Well, I try. I never wanted to be the type of doctor that owns a practice and charges exorbitant fees, you know? And I’m glad I’m living my dream. I go from place to place, just helping those who can’t get medical help. Last month I was in Haiti. If Luke- when Luke gets better, I’m going back there.”
She rubbed at her eyes wearily. I knew she was trying to stay strong, mostly for Hope’s benefit, since Hope looked like she was ready to go into hysterics any second. Not that I blamed her, I felt the same way. My whole body was tense and I felt weepy, like I still had a reservoir of tears I needed to use up. All I wanted to know was what was happening with Luke, or even where he was.
He’ll be okay, Celsi.
Even as those words ran through my mind, I wondered if I could believe them. Sucking in a shuddering breath, I wrapped my arms around my body, hugging myself even though the room was pleasantly warm.
The door to the room opened and in stepped a short, stout East Indian man, a somber expression on his face. Hope absently glanced up, the blood draining from her face as her eyes landed on him. He stopped as soon as he walked in to the room and hovered nervously by the doorway, his hands clasped in front of him.
“Hello, Mrs. Astor; ladies,” he said courteously, nodding towards Vanessa and I. “For those of us who have never met, I’m Luke's doctor, Dr. Khan.”
Vanessa stood up and crossed the room in a couple of swift steps, stretching out her hand for the doctor to shake.
“Vanessa Wright, Luke’s mother. What’s the news, doctor?” she asked without preamble, her voice panicky with worry.
My heart thudded anxiously in my chest as I looked up at Dr. Khan, praying for some hopeful news.
Unfortunately, going by the downcast look on his face, I guessed that whatever he had to tell us wasn’t positive.
Speaking slowly, like he was thinking over his words before he said them, Dr. Khan said, “We managed to stabilize him at last.” He cleared his throat before continuing, as Hope and I heaved a collective sigh of relief. I knew that the doctors couldn’t have done a single thing to help Luke until he was stable so that was definitely a step in the right direction. Ever since
Hope told me about the medically induced coma I knew that Luke's condition was far worse than I’d thought. “His blood pressure has been normalised.”
“Thank God,” Hope breathed, massaging her forehead with her fingertips.
Vanessa pressed her lips together in thought. “So what happens now?” she asked Dr. Khan in her crisply accented voice, her clenched fists the only indication of her stress levels.
“We need to operate as soon as possible.” Dr. Khan sighed, staring at a stoic Vanessa levelly. “I would love to monitor his vital signs for just a little bit longer but we’ve already lost so much time just getting him stabilised. Waiting wouldn’t be a good idea at the moment.”
“Can we see him before his surgery? Hope piped up, her voice sounding hopeful.
Immediately, Dr. Khan shook his head. “Unfortunately, no,” he said gently. Hope’s face fell and I knew the expression on her face mirrored mine at that moment. What I wouldn’t give to just have a minute alone with Luke, to let him know that everything was going to be alright... “He’s still in critical condition so the sooner we operate the better.”
The muscles in Vanessa's throat worked as she forced out her next question. Her eyes were filled with pain as she asked, “The surgery will go well, won’t it, Doctor?”
Dr. Khan cleared his throat before replying, his tone cautious. “I wish I could say that but I’ve done a lot of aneurysm surgeries and they are all different. Some people are in worse condition than Luke and they are back to normality in months.” He paused, giving a visibly pale Vanessa a sympathetic look. My heart sank with his next words. “And some are not so lucky. The best you can do is call Mr. Astor and have him come down in case anything happens. It is good to have the whole family here- just in case.”
Doctor Khan didn’t elaborate on his slightly pessimistic words but I knew just what he meant and goose bumps rose suddenly on my arms as a chill ran through me. I didn’t want to think negatively, but I couldn’t help myself. Luke is in a coma, how can I honestly deal with this? My emotional state was so rocky already, what with the whole Nate thing, that all I wanted to do was curl up on the bed and have someone wake me up when it was all over. You can’t hide from this, Celsi. God, I wished I could.
Hope picked up her phone and stood up, wrapping her shawl around her shoulders. “I’ll go and call him right now,” she said, shooting me a conscientious glance as I rubbed my arms. “I’ll be right back.”
The door closed as Hope stepped out into the hospital hallway, her phone clamped to her ear.
“How long will the surgery take, Doctor?” Vanessa asked, pushing her hair back from her face with both hands.
“I’m not sure. It’s an emergency procedure, ma’am. During one of Luke's most recent check-ups, we talked about surgical options. We decided on the traditional ‘clipping’ procedure rather than the coiling method. Going in to this operation, I have to admit that the clipping method will definitely be the best choice. The coiling procedure is less invasive, but Luke's aneurysm was so large that I don’t want to go that route, especially as there is a higher chance that re-bleeding may occur. The conventional route is best in this case.”
Vanessa nodded in agreement as Dr. Khan explained. “By all means, use the procedure which is best for my son,” she said, her voice tired as she ran a hand over her face. “He was bad off, wasn’t he?”
“Yes.”
Dr. Khan didn’t even try to hide it. Maybe he took one look at Vanessa’s taut face and knew she wouldn’t appreciate being lied to.
“And we can’t even see him for just a moment?”
Vanessa stared imploringly at Dr. Khan as a faint feeling of hope surged through my body. Maybe, just maybe...
“He’s being taken out of the emergency room as we speak and being taken to the operating room, ma’am.”
Damn.
Vanessa’s voice turned pleading as she looked down at Dr. Khan. “Doctor, I haven’t seen my son in years. Can I at least walk down to the OR with him? I need to see him just in case something-.” Her voice broke in the middle of her sentence and my heart clenched as she wiped a tear from her cheek before continuing. “I need to tell him that everything will be fine.”
His face softening, Dr. Khan placed a soothing hand on Vanessa's tense shoulder. “I cannot keep you from your son. Please, come with me.”
Visibly shaking, Vanessa turned to me. “Celsi- I have to go and see Luke. I need to be with him right now,” she said, an apologetic tone coming through in her voice. “Will you be okay in here?”
I nodded immediately. “Of course,” I said, enunciating each word carefully. My bottom lip felt puffy as I worried it with my tongue, knowing full well that I shouldn’t. “I’ll wait right here.”
Obviously I would have loved to see Luke before his surgery but Vanessa's bond with him was infinitely more personal. She needs to see him way more than I do.
Dr. Khan looked at me as I said my first words since he walked into the room. He was the first person to not do a double take upon seeing me since Nate had attacked me and my heart warmed with gratitude towards Vanessa. Thank goodness she’s such a good doctor.
Concern did flash across his face, but there was none of the horror with which Officer Rodriguez has greeted me and for that I was glad. There was only so many ‘OMG, what happened to you’ looks that I could take. Despite myself, I suddenly felt glad that Luke couldn’t see what Nate had done to me. All I was trying to do was to get to you, Luke.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened?” he asked me as Vanessa shrugged on her sweater.
Twiddling my thumbs and staring down at my feet, I replied, “I got into an accident.”
Dr. Khan didn’t look convinced at all but he knew to leave well enough alone and, beckoning to Vanessa, led her out of the room. I couldn’t help flushing.
Liar.
Well, it wasn’t a complete lie! Running into Nate as I was leaving the apartment had been a calamity just waiting to happen. I shivered, bile rising in my throat as I tried to supress the memories of what had happened in that hallway. Nate... How could he have done this to me? I was scared to even glance in a mirror because I didn’t want to see how badly my own cousin had attacked me. I never did anything wrong. Ever. Thank God for Pastor Weeks. I wondered if he had managed to get in touch with Aunt Kelly yet and squirmed nervously. What would she do? Would Nate lie to try and save his own skin? If she kicked me out, where would I go?
I shook myself, reawakening the aches and pains in my bruised body. Don’t dwell on that right now.
The door opened and Hope walked back in, tucking her phone into her purse. She scanned the room blankly before sitting down next to me. “Where’s Vanessa?” I told her where she’d gone and Hope sighed, dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief. “I’m glad Luke's dad called her,” she murmured softly.
“Me too,” I nodded, wanting to hug Hope but not sure how to go about it. She looked poleaxed, an overwhelmed expression on her pretty face. Just like me, I knew she could hardly believe that Luke was in a coma. And it had all played out right in front of her, so God only knew what she was going through right now. The incident which we had all unconsciously been dreading was upon us, and I for one didn’t know what to expect. And it scared the hell out of me. “Is Mr. Astor on his way?”
Hope nodded, kneading her forehead with perfectly manicured fingers. “Yes, he’s on his way, he’ll be here soon. Faith couldn’t sleep so he’ll bring her too.” She opened her eyes and looked at me. “How are you feeling, though?”
The worried tone in her voice brought tears to my eyes and I hurriedly blinked them away. She had so much to deal with right now, the health of her step-son being the elephant in the room, yet she was still concerned about my wellbeing. If that doesn’t make Hope an extraordinary human being, then I don’t know what does.
“Much better,” I lied, electing not to tell her that my body was still sore as heck and I had to form my words carefully so as not to
slur. She had better, more important things to worry about.
“You look like you’re in pain,” Hope surmised, looking into my eyes. She fumbled around in her bag, pulling out a bottle of Tylenol. “I think this should help. I’ll get you some water.”
Before I could protest, she stood up and walked to the bathroom. I heard her running some water at the sink and she came back with a paper cup filled with water. I gratefully took the proffered water and downed the Tylenol, hoping it would yield immediate results. I’m not good with pain.
“Thank you, Hope.”
Hope smiled faintly at me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. “You’re welcome, dear.”
The door opened and I stiffened. Mr. Astor?
Luckily, it was Vanessa who walked in and I gave a silent sigh of relief. I wasn’t looking forward to dealing with Mr. Astor when he walked in. He didn’t like me or approve of me being Luke's girlfriend. He was probably going to kick me out of the hospital if he felt like it.
Vanessa's hands were shaking as she sat on the corner of the bed, tears standing out in her dark green eyes. “My poor baby,” she whispered, hugging her knees. Hope squeezed her hand. “I’m okay; it was just the shock of seeing Luke like that.” She swallowed hard, shaking her head. “I haven’t seen him for years and for this to be the first time... No parent should ever have to go through this. He was so pale, so still...”
I could tell that Vanessa was noticeably trying to pull herself together and be strong and I applauded her internally. She’s so brave.
“Hope, could I please borrow your phone?” I asked a couple of minutes later.
The Tylenol had started to kick in and the aches were fading slowly, much to my satisfaction.
Nodding, Hope pulled out her shiny cell phone and handed it to me. “Sure. Do you want to call the Pastor to come pick you up?”
“No, I just want to tell my aunt that I’m okay.” I paused, looking at my hands which were placed in my lap. “I want to stay until Luke wakes up, if you’ll let me.”