“Cute? I’m not sure I want you to call me something cute.”
“What do you want, Luke?”
“You don’t want to know, honey.”
“Maybe I do. You’ll have to let me in first, though.”
I step aside and she walks in, dropping her purse on the coffee table before turning back to me. She’s still wearing that sexy dress from the party and the dominatrix heels. My cock jumps to life as she licks her lips, and I have to stop myself from reaching for her. This is going to be interesting.
Chapter 4
Olivia
I’m not this girl. I never have been. But I swear if I don’t kiss Luke in the next minute, I may die. Seriously. I see him start to step towards me and then stop. He’s giving me the control here. He knows I’m a virgin, and he isn’t pushing. I don’t want him to hold onto his self-control right now. I’m sure as hell not holding onto mine.
I take the two steps back to him and look up into his eyes. They’re a dark emerald now and blazing with desire. “Will you kiss me Luke?”
“If that’s what you want.” I see his hands clenched at his sides, so I reach out for one and curl my own around it.
“It’s what I need.”
“Fuck, Ollie.” He reaches up with his free hand and cups my cheek as he leans down. When his lips brush across mine, I think I’m going to spontaneously combust. I lean into him to reclaim his mouth. His lips are soft, yet so demanding at the same time, as he kisses me with more passion.
He’s licking my lips and sucking the bottom one into his mouth as I moan. I want his tongue, but he seems to want to take his time, getting his fill of my lips with little kisses mixed into the long ones. It’s better than I imagined, and that’s saying a lot. I’ve had some pretty vivid fantasies about Luke and his mouth.
Finally, when I think I’m at the point where I can’t take another second of this torture, Luke licks the seam of my lips and I open for him. His tongue starts to play with mine. He continues for several minutes like this and then does something new. When he sucks my tongue into his mouth and wraps his lips around it, I gasp and use my free hand to pull him closer to me. He stops me before our bodies fully connect, touching his forehead to mine as he breaks the kiss.
“We have to stop. If we don’t, I may not be able to control myself. I want you so bad, but I know you’re not ready for that.”
“Maybe I am.”
“You’re not. I wish you were, but you aren’t.”
Deep down I know he’s right, and I appreciate the fact that he’s putting on the breaks for me. I felt his erection for the brief time our lower bodies touched. This can’t be easy for him. It’s not easy for me, and I’ve never had sex. He has it all the time. Oh. Yeah. He can just call someone else to come over and take care of his problem. I feel really stupid now. I shouldn’t have thought this was something special. It’s just another night for him.
I start to pull away, but he stops me. “What just happened?”
“Nothing. I-I should go. I’m sorry I got you…well…you know. You can call someone over to take care of that once I’m gone.”
He recoils back like I’ve hit him. “What?”
“It’s fine, Luke.”
“No, Olivia, it really isn’t. Do you honestly think I would just call up some chick to have sex with me because you wouldn’t?” I can’t look at him because I did think that and now I’m ashamed. “Wow. You do think that. I thought you were different, but you’re just like everyone else. Thinking I’m just some man-whore who can’t keep it in his pants. You know where the door is, so go ahead and see yourself out.”
He heads down the hall, and I hear a door slam. Probably his bedroom. I know I should leave, but I can’t. Not when I’ve obviously hurt him. He’s right—we’ve gotten to know each other this last month, and I know he’s so much more than people think. He didn’t deserve the way I just treated him. I was no better than that guy from the party. Or my father. Never thought I’d see the day when I was as close-minded as him, but here it is.
I can’t leave without apologizing. And thanking him for earlier. I never did that. If I was feeling a little bit braver, I’d also admit to myself that I want to kiss him again. That kiss was the stuff of fairy tales, and I’ve always been a sucker for a good fairy tale. I sit down on the couch, planning to wait for Luke to come out. I don’t realize how tired I am until my eyelids start to close. Instead of leaving I lean sideways, laying my head on one of the throw pillows and curling my legs up onto the couch. The last thing I remember is that I should have taken my shoes off, but then I’m out.
* * *
Luke
I thankfully wake up with just a headache but no real hangover since I drank a good amount of water earlier in the night. Fucking last night. Every time I thought it couldn’t get worse, it did. Culminating in the best kiss I’ve ever had, followed by Olivia thinking I was going to fuck some random girl when she left. Instead, I wallowed in some self-pity before passing out. I hope she locked the door when she left.
I head into the bathroom to take care of morning business and have a quick shower. I’m hungry, so I decide to just go cook with the towel slung around my waist. As I walk into the living room, I stop short when I see Olivia curled up on my couch. She didn’t leave last night. That’s odd. She looks like she’s shivering a little, so I go back into my bedroom and grab my comforter. I don’t have any extra blankets or anything, so this will have to do. I drape it over her and watch as she snuggles into it, sighing.
She shifts a little, and I see her wince in her sleep. I’m not sure why until I remember I saw her shoes still on. That’s probably not too comfortable. I lift the bottom of the comforter and unbuckle her shoes, massaging her feet a little. I know I should be pissed about last night, and I’m definitely still a little hurt, but I don’t have it in me to be mean to this girl. I like her too much. And yeah, that’s something new for me.
I cover her back up, put on some basketball shorts and a t-shirt, and then go into my little kitchen to cook some breakfast. I put on the coffee pot as I cook up two omelets. I take everything out and set it on the coffee table. I have a dining room table, but it’s normally just me, so I use the coffee table more often than not. I kneel down in front of the couch and gently shake Olivia.
“Luke,” she murmurs as she arches her back. Is she dreaming about me? Damn, that’s hot. But not quite hot enough to make me forget that she assumed the worst of me last night.
“Honey, you need to wake up. I have a bunch of stuff to do today.”
She sits straight up then. “Oh my God. Did I fall asleep here?”
“I’m guessing yes. I found you out here this morning.”
“Oh gosh. I’m so sorry. About falling asleep and also about how I treated you last night.” She pulls the comforter tight around her, and I swear I see her inhale when she tips her head down. Interesting.
“You have a right to your opinions, Olivia.”
“I should know better, though. The talks we’ve had and the time we’ve spent together have shown me what a great guy you are. I was just being insecure last night and that turned into me insulting you.”
“It is what it is. I really do have stuff to take care of before my hockey game today, so eat up. I have to be out of here soon.”
“You didn’t have to cook for me.”
“I was already making mine, so it wasn’t a problem.”
“Thanks. And thanks for standing up for me last night.”
I shrug and dig into my food. We don’t say anything else while we eat. Olivia insists on doing the dishes, and I let her while I get my stuff together. We walk out together, and she looks like she wants to say more before getting into her car. I don’t give her the chance as I get into mine and wave goodbye.
Even though I can’t bring myself to be outright mean to her, I am being cold. I know it, and I own it. It just hurt so much knowing she thought so little of me. I’m not sure I can be just professional wit
h her, but I don’t want to get hurt, either. I need to put this out of my head and take care of my errands before the game tonight.
* * *
Olivia
I probably shouldn’t be here at the Ice Center. Scratch that. I know I shouldn’t be here. Luke didn’t invite me, and from the frosty reception he gave me this morning, he won’t want me at his game. I’m not sure he’ll finish tutoring me, either. I had to come, though. I’ve been wanting to see him play, and after all that went down yesterday, I want to support him.
I find a seat at the top of the bleachers. There aren’t a ton of people here, but there’s a group of college age girls hanging out in the front row, along with some families and a few guys. Not real easy to blend, especially in my bright green coat. But I don’t have another one, and I want to be here, so I’ll have to suck it up and just leave if Luke looks mad.
The players come out onto the ice, and the girls down front start calling Luke’s name. I should’ve known they were here for him. Heck, I’m here for him. But I’m not the one he’s smiling and winking at. That honor belongs to a sexy looking redhead. My chest hurts, and I want to leave now that I know I really was nothing to him. I don’t, though. I came here to see him play, and that’s what I’m going to do. I’ll leave before I watch him go home with her, though. There’s only so much punishment I can take. But, I will watch the game.
It’s actually pretty exciting and fun to watch. There’s lots of contact and a couple of small fights that get my adrenaline pumping. I stand up when Luke shoots for a goal with seconds left in the game. He scores, and I don’t yell, but I want to. The girls sure do, especially the redhead. He skates over and blows her a kiss that she catches. He makes a motion for her to wait for him, and she nods eagerly. I’m frozen in place for a moment. I can’t do this.
I reach down for my purse and take one last look to the ice. Luke is laughing with his teammates, but looks up and our eyes meet. His widen, and then he breaks contact to look at the girl and back at me. I give him a small smile and turn to leave, walking across the bleachers and then down. I need to get to the doors, which are in between me and Luke.
“Olivia, wait.”
I hear him, but I need to keep walking. I have a little self-respect left, and it has to carry me from this place. From this man I let kiss me like no one else ever has. I can’t be another one of his conquests, although I now know that’s exactly what I was.
I’m walking briskly, but not fast enough to make people think I’m running. Even if that’s exactly what I’m doing. I don’t make it to the door before Luke grabs my arm and turns me to face him. I didn’t know you could walk that fast on skates. “What are you doing here?”
I shake his arm off and look at the ground. “I wanted to see you play.”
“Since when?”
“Since I knew you played.”
“Why haven’t you come before, then?”
“You didn’t invite me.”
“I didn’t invite you today, and yet, here you are.”
I don’t say anything. My reasons won’t mean anything to him anyway. He puts his fingers under my chin and lifts it until I look him in the eye. “Tell me why you’re here.”
“I wanted you to know I support you. I thought you might need someone to show you that. But you already have someone.” I look past him to where the redhead is giving me a death glare and then up at him. I know he can see the hurt in my eyes.
“She’s a puck bunny. I was just going to—“
“I know what you were going to do with her. What you wouldn’t do with me last night. You said you wouldn’t have had another girl after kissing me, but I guess that only applies to right after, or when you’re not so pissed at me that you go back to calling me Olivia.”
I stare at him defiantly now because I’m a little angry. I thought I hurt him last night, but now he’s about to go home with someone else. I guess I’m the only one who thought our kiss was epic. It was probably just one of a million to him. He opens his mouth to tell me something, but we’re interrupted before he can speak.
“Luke, baby, are you going to keep me waiting much longer. It’s cold in here, and I need you to warm me up.” The girl wraps herself around his side and looks like she might climb him right here in front of everyone.
“Don’t keep your friend waiting on my account, Luke. Have a good night.”
I give him a few seconds to tell her to go, but he doesn’t. I have to get out of here before I lose it. Putting on a brave front is one thing, but seeing him with this other girl is enough to make my chest hurt. I don’t want him to know he hurt me. He already has too much power in our relationship because I’ve started caring for him. I turn and walk away, realizing that fairy tales are overrated.
* * *
Luke
Olivia came to my game, told me she wanted me to know she supports me, and then I let her walk away. Yeah, I’m an idiot. And an asshole because I let her think I was going home with that chick. I didn’t—I extricated myself from her as soon as Olivia left. I wanted to hurt her, though, and I succeeded. Now, I need to make it right.
I drove around for a bit, trying to get her out of my head. She looked so sad, and knowing I did that to her is killing me. I know what I need to do, but I’m still hesitating. I’ve never gone to a girl for anything. Even sex. They come to me. Yet here I am, planning on going to a girl who I know I won’t have sex with tonight. This won’t end well for either of us. I’m not a relationship type of guy, and she’s not a casual sex type of girl. Yet here I am in the parking lot of her apartment trying to man up enough to walk to her front door.
I get out and head to the stairs, right behind a pizza delivery guy. As we get closer, I realize it’s Olivia’s door he’s going to. “Hey man, are you delivering pizza to number 3810?”
“Umm, yeah.”
“I’m heading there, too. I’ll give you $20 plus the cost of the pizza to let me take it.”
“I don’t know.”
“C’mon. What am I gonna do, eat the pizza myself? I just want to surprise Olivia. You have her name on the pizza, right?”
He looks down. “Yeah. I guess it’s okay.”
I hand him the money, and he hands me the pizza. I carry it over to the door and knock. It takes a minute but Olivia finally opens the door, and I want to die right then and there. She’s in a baggy pink sweater and jeans, looking beautiful as always, but it’s obvious she’s been crying.
“Sorry, I had to grab my mo—Luke?”
“Damn. I’m so sorry.”
She lifts her chin and tries to look nonchalant. “For what? Oh you mean my crying? I was just watching a sad movie.” We both can hear that no TV is on, and I can’t let this go.
“I wanted to hurt you, because you hurt me yesterday. I shouldn’t have made you think I was going to take that chick home, though.”
“Weren’t you? Before you saw me, you were flirting with her. You even blew her a kiss after your goaland asked her to wait for you.”
“No. Yes. Maybe? Hell, I don’t know.” I run my free hand through my hair and try to figure out how to tell her what I’m thinking without looking like an idiot.
“You don’t know?”
“I didn’t want to go home with her or anyone else. But I thought if I did, maybe I could forget you and the kiss from last night. So, yes, I was going to take her home.”
“Then why are you here?”
“You came to my game.”
“Yeah, so?”
“So…can I come in? I don’t really want to have this conversation in the hall.”
She looks conflicted, then nods and steps out of the doorway. I walk in and put the pizza on her coffee table before sitting down on her couch. She looks around like she’s not sure what to do, and then joins me, but sits as far away as possible. Neither one of talks for a minute. I’m just watching her looking down at her hands. I want to reach out and pull her into my arms, but I know we need to talk first, so I go ahead
and tell her what I need to.
“I like you a lot. So much it scares me.”
She looks up at me. “I like you a lot, too. It’s terrifying.”
“What are you afraid of?”
“You want me to go first?” I shrug, and she sighs. “Fine, I’ll go first as long as you promise to be honest and tell me what you’re scared of, too.”
I’m the one sighing now. “I promise.”
It takes her a little longer, and then she starts to speak. “We both know I’m not your type.”
“Honey, I don’t have a type. I love all women, and I’ve been with all sizes, colors, religions. You name it and I’ve probably been with her.”
“Why do you do that, Luke?”
“Do what?”
“Trivialize your sexual encounters. Didn’t you care about any of the girls you’ve been with?”
“They were trivial. It’s been just sex for me for a long time. I’ve been trying to be with less women for a while now, though. I realize it’s not the best course of action, and no matter how many times I tell them it doesn’t mean anything to me, some just don’t get it. I never set out to hurt anyone, so I’ve been trying to tone things down a little.”
“You said ‘for a long time’.”
“Yeah, I did.”
“Who hurt you, Luke?”
Damn, she’s smart. I should’ve known she’d pick up on what I wasn’t saying, along with what I was. I don’t want to lie to her, though. I try not to break promises once I make them. So, I tell her something that I’ve never told anyone else, even my brothers. “Freshman year of high school I was dating this totally hot cheerleader. She’d pursued me, and I thought I was the luckiest guy ever. We were dating for a few months and were at the Homecoming Dance when I overheard her talking to her friends outside.” I pause because it’s hard to say this the words.
“You don’t have to tell me, Luke.” I hadn’t noticed Olivia move closer to me, but now her hand is on top of mine.
“I-I’ve just never told anyone before. I know it was years ago, but it still hurts a little.” I look up at her and finish my story. “She was telling her friends how she thought she’d scored by getting a Griffin brother, but I was a waste of some good genes. She said it was embarrassing that I hadn’t played in the Homecoming Game, and that I couldn’t help her with her Science homework, so obviously I didn’t get the smart genes. Then she said she was going to go after Owen because he was the fun one, and he’d been flirting with her.”
Learning To Love (The Griffin Brothers Book 4) Page 4