Learning To Love (The Griffin Brothers Book 4)

by Perkins, Crystal

  “Fuck you all. I’m out of here.” He looks at me with a sneer on his face. “I really thought you weren’t like all the rest of them, but you obviously are. Sorry there’s not a Griffin left for you to fuck. Oh wait, you’re too good to give it up anyway, right?”

  He storms out, and I literally just want to die. I shouldn’t have said anything. “Liv, look at me sweetheart. He’ll calm down and realize what an ass he just was. He didn’t mean it.”

  I look up at Candi, not even trying to hide the tears that are falling down my face. “He meant it. Luke doesn’t let anyone in, but he let me in, and I betrayed his trust. He won’t forgive me. It’s over. We’re over. I’m so stupid.” I’m openly sobbing now, shaking as the sobs wrack my body.

  “My brother’s not dumb enough to give you up, Olivia. Not many women would come here, and not only tell me off, but slap me. You did that for him. He’ll come to his senses and beg your forgiveness.”

  “You’re wrong, but thanks for trying to make me feel better. I need to go home now.”

  “You can’t drive in your condition. Sleep in one of our guest rooms tonight, Liv.”

  I’m too tired to argue, so I just nod and follow then upstairs. They try to get me to join them for dinner, but I can’t eat. I just want to sleep. And forget. I know forgetting’s not possible, but sleep comes eventually. After I relive the horror and hurt on Luke’s face over and over again until there are no tears left to shed.

  Chapter 7

  Luke

  It’s been four days since Olivia betrayed me, but it feels like four years. We haven’t talked or texted, and although I’m still pissed, I really miss her. I keep reminding myself that she was just using me. I don’t know for what, but she must’ve wanted something from my family. That’s why she wouldn’t sleep with me. It wasn’t because she was a virgin. It was because she hadn’t gotten what she wanted yet. If I have something to say about it, she never will. As for me, I plan to grab the first available puck bunny on Sunday night and fuck her senseless. I’ve been a fool for not doing it sooner.

  Tonight, I’ve got to go to our family’s Friday night barbeque. I wanted to try and get out of it, but no one misses it unless you’re out of town or sick. I could’ve tried to play the sick card, but my mom can spot a lie from us, even over the phone. So here I am, pulling in to my parents’ driveway. I’m not sure what’s going to happen when I see Owen and Candi, but I’m bracing myself for the worst.

  I walk into the backyard and my mom comes over to hug me. Everyone else greets me as well. Actually, not everyone. Owen and Candi are looking pissed as they glare at me.

  “Nice to see you looking so well, little brother.”

  “I am well, thanks.”

  “It wasn’t a compliment, asshole.”

  “What’s going on boys?”

  “It’s nothing Mom. Owen and I are just disagreeing about something right now.”

  “Really? You’re gonna lie to our mother now? It’s bad enough you’ve kept how you felt from us all these years.”

  “Drop it, Owe. I’m not doing this.”

  He jumps out of his chair and gets in my face. “Like hell you’re not. They deserve to know what’s going on with you, and how they’ve all hurt you.”

  “How we’ve hurt him? We’ve somehow hurt him, but you haven’t, Owe?” my brother, Scott, asks.

  “I got a clear message of what I’ve done, accompanied by a hard slap across the face, a few days ago.”

  “You slapped Owen? Really? Couldn’t you have at least thrown a punch?” Ryan thinks he’s being funny, but he’s not.

  “Olivia’s the one who slapped me.”

  “Olivia? Rose’s sister?” My niece Alex looks confused. Actually they all do.

  “Yeah. That Olivia. She may look sweet, but she packs a mean slap. She also called me out on some shit I hadn’t even realized I was doing. That we’ve all been doing.”

  “Everyone grab some food, and then we’re going to sit down while Luke explains this all to us.” I start to protest, but my dad stops me. “This isn’t a request, son. You’re going to tell us what’s going on.”

  “Whatever. I know you all well enough to know you won’t let it go, so we might as well get it over with.”

  We all grab our food and then sit down to eat. When we’re done, we clean up and head to the family room. That’s where all our big family discussions take place. My parents may be billionaires, but they’re two of the most humble and down to earth people I know. They make sure their home is comfortable and inviting. Everyone sits there for a few minutes just looking at me. I refuse to make eye contact or speak, so Owen decides to go ahead and tell them what he knows. I cross my arms over my chest and wait for the inevitable fallout.

  “I guess I’ll start since Luke doesn’t seem to want to tell you guys what’s going on. I came home from Atlanta the other day to find Olivia staring off into space in Candi’s studio. When I asked her what had her thinking so hard, she said it was me and then proceeded to slap me.”

  “I still can’t believe Olivia slapped you. I mean, she’s always so sweet and quiet when she’s here with her parents.” Alex looks baffled. I could tell them how loud she can be, and how dirty her mouth is for me, but despite how mad I am at her, I won’t disrespect her.

  “She actually said she wanted to punch me, but she was afraid to hurt her hand so she slapped me instead. Anyway, she told me she did it for Luke. Because I dated some cheerleader in high school after he did, and also for some things I said recently that she heard.”

  “You dated someone after Luke had already dated her? That’s just all kinds of wrong.” My sister-in-law, Yasmin, doesn’t pull any punches.

  “I was young. And stupid. I also had no idea that Luke heard her say he was a waste of the Griffin genes because he wasn’t athletic enough or smart enough, and that she was going after me because I was more fun.”

  Hearing Owen say the words is like a knife to my heart all over again. I clench my jaw, trying to keep my emotions in check. My mom gets out of her chair and walks to me, kneeling in front of me. “You know that’s not true, Luke.” I just shrug.

  “He doesn’t know that, apparently. He hasn’t had a relationship with a woman since then. That’s why he’s been a bigger man-whore than the rest of us combined. He also apparently feels inferior to us because he’s not working for the company. I’ll admit that I’ve said some stupid things lately that didn’t help. I probably said things before that I didn’t even realize, too.”

  “Oh, Luke.”

  “It’s fine Mom. I’ve been fine.”

  “You know I can tell when you’re lying.”

  “I don’t want anyone’s pity, and it’s probably not as big a deal as I’ve made it to myself.”

  “If we’ve hurt you in any way, son, you need to tell us. It’s not pity. We love you.”

  “I know, Dad. I’ve never doubted that you love me. That any of you love me. I just hate being a disappointment.” I pause and hold up my hand before anyone can say anything. “I’m going to tell you why I feel this way. I guess it’s about time.

  “I was so excited to start kindergarten when I was five. I was finally a big boy like my brothers. After a couple of weeks, the teacher told me I should try to be more like my brothers. I wasn’t as good at games during recess as Ryan, I wasn’t as smart as Scott, and I wasn’t as outgoing as Owen. That was the way it was all through the rest of my school years. I was never as good at anything as my brothers. I heard it every day. From teachers, coaches, even other kids.”

  “Are you kidding me? They did that to you? I had no idea.” Ryan looks angry and sad at the same time.

  “It’s not your fault. It’s not any of you guys’ faults. I just can’t live up to how good you are at everything.”

  “I heard people say that you weren’t like your brothers. I just didn’t think it mattered. You were always my special boy who helped everyone he met. That’s what I saw. I’m so sorry that I didn�
��t see how hurt you were.” My mom has tears in her eyes. This is exactly what I didn’t want.

  “Mom, don’t cry. I could’ve told you how I felt.”

  “Owen said you still feel that way. Why would you?”

  “It’s dumb, but I feel like no one ever stands up for me. At Scott’s party, Dad kicked that asshole out, but he never said I wasn’t a disappointment or an embarrassment.”

  “I didn’t?” I shake my head. “I’m so sorry. I guess I just didn’t think I needed to say those things. I thought you knew they weren’t true. They’re not.” My dad comes over and hugs me tight.

  “Besides, you’ll be working with Dad soon,” Scott says.

  “Actually, I won’t. I mean, I want to help with the company. I do. But it’s not my dream.”

  “But what will you do with your business degree?” my other sister-in-law Chloe asks. This is the big ticket question, but it’s actually easier to answer than I thought it would be.

  “I changed my degree last year. I’m an Early Education major now. I’ve been student teaching a kindergarten class this semester. I love it. The kids are so great. I’ve interviewed with a few schools, and I have some offers. I’ll probably be teaching third grade next year.”

  I wait while it all sinks in. Scott’s the first to speak up. “That’s so cool, man. My little bro’s a teacher. Wow. We have to celebrate.”

  “Luke, you don’t have to come work at the company for me to be proud of you. Like your mom, I’ve always seen how much you love helping people. Being a teacher is something to be proud of.”

  “I’m living within the means of my future teacher salary. I have been for a while now. That’s why I moved. So you guys can split up my profits from the company.”

  “What? We’re not doing that. Why would you even say something like that? You’re part of the family, and we split everything equally, other than what we get paid for our work.” Ryan looks genuinely shocked that I would even suggest giving up my money.

  “It’s not fair if I’m not working there.”

  “It wouldn’t be fair for you to take a salary, but as an owner of the company, you’re entitled to a share of the profits. You’re important to all of us, and you’ve had a part in every major decision we’ve made. Don’t discount your contribution to the company.”

  “Thanks, Dad.”

  “Now that that’s settled, let’s talk about your celebration. I was already planning a graduation party for you, Luke. Would you like to invite your co-workers and maybe some of the kids and their families?” My heart swells with the thought of a party to celebrate me.

  “I’d love that.”

  “What else are you doing that we should know about, son? I feel like there’s more,” my dad says.

  “Oh. Well. I’m playing in a hockey league.”

  “You actually did that? I’m so glad, Luke.” Candi is smiling at me for the first time tonight.

  “Yeah. We play games on Sunday nights if anyone wants to come. You don’t have to.”

  “Of course we want to. I can’t believe you didn’t tell us. You haven’t had anyone there to cheer for you.” My mom is giving me her stern look now. No one messes with her when she gives that look.

  “It’s all good. The puck bunnies cheered for me, and sometimes I had someone there.”

  “Puck bunnies?” Alex asks. “Really, Uncle Luke?”

  “They don’t mind being called that. They’re only there for one thing, and they don’t care who knows it.”

  “And what was Olivia there for? She’s the ‘someone’ you were referring to, isn’t she.” Candi’s back to being mad.

  Honestly, I’m mad at myself, too. Talking to my family has made me realize that Ollie really was trying to help me. She knew they’d support me, even when I didn’t. I look down as I answer. “She was there to make sure I had someone supporting me.”

  “I still don’t understand how you and Olivia have gotten so close.” My mom’s looking at me curiously. “She asked me for your address after Scott’s party, and I was a little reluctant to give it to her, honestly.

  “I do some free tutoring. My favorite professor finds me students who are smart and really want help. I was Olivia’s English tutor. We became friends and then, well, then she was my girlfriend. My first one since I was a freshman in high school.”

  “Until you fucked it up, and I had to kick your ass out of my studio.”

  “I know I said some things that were a little mean.”

  “A little? You listen to me and listen good, Luke. If what you said was a ‘little mean,’ I wouldn’t have told you to leave, and Liv wouldn’t have cried herself to sleep in our guest room because she was too upset to drive home. She just wanted to support you and help you. The things you said to her were disgusting. She’s destroyed right now. She barely made it to school every day this week. I had to make her stop coming in to work because I could tell that she kept reliving Monday afternoon every time she walked through the door.”

  I drop my head into my hands. Leave it to me to hurt the person I care about most. I don’t know what to do. I can beg, but I don’t know if that’s enough. I was an asshole. I am an asshole. I’m also in love with her. Wait, what? Yeah, I’m in love with her. I need to tell her, even if she sends me away. “I have to go.”

  “You better be on your knees when she answers that door, Luke.”

  “I will be, Candi.”

  * * *

  Olivia

  Sitting on the couch in a ratty old t-shirt and flannel pajama pants, with your hair in a messy bun, while you eat Phish Food and watch the man you love’s favorite hockey team on the sports network is not an ideal way to pass a Friday night. Especially with your eyes so red from crying that you can barely keep them open. I’m a mess, and I know it. I just don’t know what to do about it. I’ve finally admitted what I’ve known for weeks—I’m madly in love with Luke Griffin. And it sucks big time.

  I’ll never have him back, which means I’ll never get to make love with him like I’ve dreamed about. I should’ve acted on my feelings of lust before it was too late. Or maybe not. I’d probably be an even bigger mess if I gave him my virginity, and then he dumped me. Why did I have to open my big mouth? I should’ve known he wouldn’t be okay with me saying anything.

  A knock at the door pulls me out of my dark thoughts. Who would be at my door at this hour? Not Luke, so what does it matter. I put down my ice cream and walk to the door. Just looking at me should scare whoever it is away. When I open the door, I nearly fall over when I see that it is Luke at the door.

  He’s on his knees, surrounded by hundreds of different flowers and holding out a small stuffed octopus to me. I melt a little, but then realize how bad I look. I step back and slam the door.

  “Ollie. Please open the door. I need to grovel, and that’s hard to do if you can’t see me.”

  “I’m a mess.”

  “You’re beautiful.”

  “I’m in ratty pajamas with red eyes and messy hair. How is that beautiful?”

  “I don’t want to say this through the door. Will you at least open it so I can answer that question? Please. I’m on my knees, begging.”

  “Fine.”

  I open the door and look down at him. He reaches out to give me the octopus, and I take it. I mean, it is really cute, and I do have little stuffed animals all over my apartment. I’m more than a little happy that he seems to have noticed them when he was here.

  “You’re beautiful to me, Ollie, because I love you. It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing or if your hair is up or down, I’ll always think you’re beautiful. I’m so sorry for the things I said and how mad I got. I know you were trying to help me.”

  “You love me?”

  “I do. I’ve known it for a little while now, but I didn’t know how to say it. I’ve never said it to someone outside my family before.”

  “I really was trying to help you, Luke. I swear. I don’t want anything from your family.” I d
idn’t think I had any tears left, but some are falling from my eyes now as I continue. “And I never meant to tease you, or lead you on. I didn’t know I was giving you mixed signals or whatever.”

  “You weren’t, honey. I was hurt, and I wanted to hurt you, too. I knew saying that would do it. You’ve been totally honest with me and I’ve loved what we’ve done. I never knew making out with a girl could be so hot, but with you it is.”

  “I’d invite you in, but well, it’s kind of an embarrassing mess in here.”

  “I don’t care what it looks like. You never have to be embarrassed with me. It’d be easier to talk if I could come in.”

  I step aside and wait while he gathers up all the flowers. “Where did you get all of those?”

  “The grocery store. I bought everything they had.”

  “One flower would have gotten you in the door,” I tell him as he walks in and lays them on the breakfast bar.

  “Along with the octopus?”

  “Of course. He’s adorable.”

  He smiles at me and then notices the TV. “Is that the Vortex?”

  “Oh. Yeah. You…umm…you said they’re your favorite, and I was missing you so…”

  “It’s really sexy that you were watching my favorite team in your PJs.”

  “I think you need glasses, Luke. I am in no way close to sexy right now.”

  “You aren’t wearing a bra and that t-shirt is hiding nothing.”

  “Seriously? You’re in my living room, which is littered with empty ice cream pints and bags of used tissues, and all you notice is my breasts.”

  “C’mon, Ollie. I mean, I’m a guy. And I’ve had my hands and mouth on your exceptional tits. So, yeah, I’m gonna notice them right away.”

  “And here I thought you loved me for my superior intellect and wit. When really all you want is my body.”

  “You know that’s not true. Don’t you?” I was just teasing him, but he looks worried.

  “Yes, Luke. If all you wanted was my body, you’d be long gone by now. Now sit down on the chair and watch your game while I clean up a little.”