by J. S. Scott
Jett stroked his hand down my back in a comforting way that made me feel safe as he replied, “You shouldn’t have ever been abused in the first place.”
He sounded disgusted. Not that I blamed him. Abuse was not only painful, but it was humiliating, too. And I’d felt every moment of my shame. I still did.
I continued so I could get everything out without crying. “Looking back now, I know I should have gone to somebody at school or something after my parents died. But I was scared, and I didn’t know what would happen to me. I just wanted to be old enough to get out.”
His arm tightened around my waist as he answered gutturally, “I’ll protect you, Ruby. You don’t have to be afraid anymore.”
I melted into him. Usually, I didn’t like anybody touching me, but with Jett, for some reason, I felt…safe.
Jett
Later that night, I lay in bed listening to the sound of the waves hitting the shore on the beach, but it didn’t have the calming effect it usually did for me.
I was fucking irritated, wrestling with emotions I’d never experienced before, and I hated it.
I’d told myself that I wanted Ruby to trust me like the brother she’d never had after she’d refused to marry me, but that was a difficult thing to wish for when I didn’t really feel that way.
Truth was, I wanted to be her protector.
I wanted to be the person she turned to when she needed something or if she wanted to confide in somebody.
But I totally didn’t want to be like a brother to her.
Ruby Kent had grabbed me by the balls the very same night I’d met her, and she hadn’t let go since the evening she’d accidentally put both of us in the hospital.
My marriage proposal had been instinctive, a response to the vow I’d made to myself right after Lisette had dumped me in the hospital. The moment I realized that Ruby didn’t really react to my scars, and I knew she had a heart, I’d blurted out the promise I’d made to myself after the accident.
I’d asked her to marry me.
And she’d said no.
When I’d discovered that she was refusing because she didn’t think I deserved to be stuck with her, it had made me even more determined to make her mine.
Protective, possessive instincts had slammed me in the gut, and they’d stayed there, strengthening with every damn moment I spent in Ruby’s company. I hated the fact that nobody had been there for her when she was getting beat up. In fact, it made me pretty crazy to think about anybody touching her. Period.
I grinned as I stared up at the high ceiling. She could be a handful sometimes, but I kind of liked that about her. She was intelligent and inquisitive, and she’d needed the heart of a lion to get through all of the challenges she’d faced. And she was definitely prone to voicing her opinions, especially when she was angry. She’d been quiet at first, almost pensive right after she’d thrown my proposal back in my face. But as time went on, she was speaking up more often and more vehemently.
Except for my sisters, no female had ever leapt to my defense like Ruby did. My ex-fiancée had been a selfish woman, and I’d somehow just let myself fall into a routine of trying to make her happy. Unfortunately, I never really did pull that off. The more I’d given to Lisette, the more she’d wanted. When I’d had the audacity to change my appearance by getting badly injured, she thought she was the one who had the right to be angry because I’d screwed up her vision of a perfect future.
I hadn’t been lying to Ruby when I’d said that I knew I’d made a lucky escape.
The deadness I felt inside me had nothing to do with the fact that I didn’t marry a woman who had never loved me. But Lisette had left me a legacy of doubt, and a whole lot of wondering whether she was right about me never finding somebody who would overlook my flaws.
After the accident, my priorities changed. I had changed.
I’d realized that life would never be without challenges for any couple, and I preferred to be alone if I didn’t have someone who cared enough about me to be there during the difficult times.
And I wanted somebody who would want me there with them, too.
Unlike my two older brothers, I’d never really been a player. I’d never had any desire to go through a bunch of different women in a short period of time.
All I’d wanted was a woman who loved me.
I didn’t have a reluctance to trust or commit like Carter and Mason seemed to possess, either.
Unfortunately, I’d chosen the wrong woman to settle down with, and I was relieved that I hadn’t married her.
Everything had been okay with Lisette when things were easy, and we were a golden couple with no problems before my accident. I guessed that the real test for Lisette and me was when shit hit the fan, because she had bolted when things got ugly, and not without a scathing lecture about how I’d messed up her perfect life.
Luckily, I’d had plenty of family. Maybe we’d drifted apart, but my siblings had been there when I was in the hospital.
My self-worth suffered sometimes, but I’d never been completely by myself to deal with every challenge I’d faced.
Not like Ruby.
Although her scars were on the inside, I knew that she was damaged in a way I’d never understand because I’d never walked in her shoes. Maybe the fact that she still seemed amazed by small things, and the way she seemed to live in the moment instead of dwelling on her past surprised me.
Hell, I wanted to give her everything just so I could see her reaction every single time she got something new. But I knew she’d draw the line on expensive stuff.
I should have told her that I have more money than a person could spend in a lifetime of complete gluttony.
But it felt pretty good that she liked me as a regular guy and not a billionaire.
Ruby was smart, and I was surprised that she hadn’t yet connected the Lawson name to Lawson Technologies.
But then, I’d never really hinted at the fact that my company was anything other than a small business.
Honestly, I hadn’t cared much about anything except getting her to go home to Seattle with me, because there was no damn way I was leaving her here in Miami. Yeah, maybe I’d offered to set her up here, but that wasn’t what I wanted, and if she’d chosen that option, I would have found a way to change her mind. Either that, or I would be spending a lot of time down south.
My main objective was to make sure she was never hurt again.
Ruby belonged with me, and I wanted her to be somewhere that I could watch out for her, even if it killed me.
“It’s definitely going to kill me,” I mumbled at the ceiling.
Every day I spent with her was another day that I wanted nothing more than to make her mine.
I craved her with an intensity that made my gut ache, but she’d been abused, and she’d had nobody she could trust in the world. I was determined to be the guy who Ruby could believe in, regardless of the fact that I couldn’t be around her without getting blue balls.
I can’t fuck her.
It was good enough for now that she didn’t cringe at my scars in the car that first night.
I could make Ruby my friend.
But I wasn’t about to make her my lover, no matter what my dick was demanding. It would make things way too complicated for her. I was going to have to be patient.
More than anything, Ruby needed to trust me. And after what had happened with her uncle, I didn’t want to scare her away.
She fucking deserves so much better than what life has given her so far.
Ruby needed to be safe, and she needed some sense of security.
If nothing else, I could give her both of those things and a hell of a lot more.
In return, I’d have a woman who didn’t treat me like an invalid.
For now, that was going to have to be enough.
Ruby
I woke up gasping for breath, and trying to free myself from the strong arms that were confining me.
“Let go of me!” I screamed.
I was instantly freed, leaving me confused and terrified.
“Ruby, you were dreaming. You were screaming.”
Jett?
I recognized his comforting baritone almost immediately.
I wrapped my arms around myself protectively, my conscious mind beginning to slowly work again.
I’d been in the grips of a nightmare, one of many that I’d experienced in my life.
Taking slower breaths, I began to calm down, and my eyes opened to the dim light.
I’m with Jett. I’m safe.
I turned my head and saw Jett sitting patiently on the other side of the massive king-sized bed. He’d obviously moved away from me when he realized I needed space.
I ran a shaky hand through my hair. “Oh, God. I’m so sorry. I have nightmares sometimes.”
It was the first one I’d had since I’d been staying with Jett. Had I thought about it when I’d come to the condo, I would have taken the bedroom farthest away from his. I never got much of a reprieve from my nightmares.
“Don’t be sorry, sweetheart,” Jett answered in a low, husky baritone. “You can’t exactly control them.”
His slow, easy tone calmed me down.
I’m with Jett. I’m safe.
Those words were becoming my mantra, and it was comforting to know I wasn’t alone. “But I didn’t mean to wake you up. Was I loud?”
“Loud enough to scare the shit out of me,” he answered in a troubled voice.
The only light in the room was coming from the hallway, so I couldn’t see his face. But I could tell that he was only wearing a pair of pajama bottoms. He hadn’t bothered to cover his upper body before he’d come to see if I was okay.
“I didn’t mean to yell at you,” I said hesitantly. “Sometimes it takes me a few minutes to realize that I was dreaming. And I don’t usually like anyone touching me in any way. Well, except for you sometimes.”
I was still shivering, even though it wasn’t cold. My pajamas had a T-shirt top and short bottoms, but I was covered in the sheet and blanket. My inability to stop trembling was simply the aftermath of the frightening dream.
“I get it,” Jett said reassuringly. “I still have bad dreams about the accident occasionally. I don’t remember a whole lot, but my memory must have retained some of it because those dreams are pretty damn vivid.”
How was it that Jett always knew just what to say to make me feel like I’m not alone?
“Do you remember crashing?” I asked curiously.
“Only from my dreams. I’m not sure if it’s what really occurred, or if it’s only a nightmare not based on fact.”
“Mine are real,” I confessed softly. “And they’re usually so scary that I can’t get back to sleep.”
“Are you okay now?” he questioned.
“I think so. Everything seems a lot easier since I met you.”
I hadn’t meant to blurt those words out, but they were true.
“Do you want me to stay with you?” he offered.
I wanted desperately to keep Jett here with me. “Only if you’ll be comfortable.”
He responded by getting up and opening the window, then made his way back to the bed and climbed underneath the covers, making himself comfortable for a moment before he was completely still.
I snuggled back down in the bed with a tired yawn.
Glancing at the clock, I noticed it was three o’clock in the morning, so it was no wonder that I still felt exhausted.
“You know you’re wasting energy, right?” I asked Jett. “If you open the window, the air conditioning has to work harder.”
“Just listen,” he requested huskily.
I was silent, and it only took me a moment to recognize the sounds of the ocean. I sighed as the rhythmic noise of the waves hitting the shore lulled me into a more relaxed state.
Finally, Jett’s voice broke the silence. “The sound of the ocean helps me remember that there are some things so much bigger and more powerful in life than my problems.”
“It’s amazing,” I answered.
“Worth a little extra energy?” he asked with humor in his deep baritone.
I smiled. “Sometimes keeping your sanity is probably worth any price.”
Honestly, I’d never had the luxury of experiencing the sense of calm I had right now. My life had always been about survival. There was no room for anything else except living through another day.
“I feel like Cinderella right now,” I admitted. “None of this would be happening if it wasn’t for you. And I’m still not quite sure how to deal with it.”
“You don’t have to do anything to handle it, Cinderella. Just let it be. You should have a home, and you should be able to feel safe. This country is supposed to be considered the land of opportunity, but sometimes circumstances screw you.”
“Before my parents died, I wanted so many things. I dreamed about having my own catering business, and I’d fantasize about the day I could actually be…free.”
My hopes for the future were the only thing that had gotten me through the bad times before I’d become an adult.
“Were you happy as a kid, Ruby?” he asked. “When your parents were alive, did you have a good life?”
I hesitated for a moment, but I finally answered, “I was happy with my mom and dad. We didn’t have a lot of money, but my dad could always find a way to make things fun. And I knew that they loved me.”
“All those things you wanted should have happened for you, Ruby,” Jett said gruffly. “You got fucked over by life.”
“I’m scared,” I murmured, less afraid of expressing my fears to Jett in the darkness. “I don’t understand why you’re helping me, and I’m afraid it will all come to an end.”
“You don’t trust me yet,” Jett said flatly. “But trust takes time, especially after all the things that happened to you.”
“I’m a stranger to you, Jett.”
“Not anymore,” he grumbled. “And you’ll eventually learn that I’m not going anywhere.”
“Do you trust me?” I asked hesitantly.
“Yes,” he said immediately.
“Why?”
“Because you haven’t given me any reason not to trust you.”
In truth, Jett had never given me any reason not to trust him, either. “I’m sorry. I should have more faith in people, I guess.”
“Bullshit. You’ve never had a reason to trust anybody since your parents died. Our life experiences are different, Ruby. Other than my accident, I’ve led a pretty charmed life. You’ve never had that experience.”
I let his words sink in. Our perspectives were incredibly different. “So you trust everybody until they give you a reason not to?”
He chuckled. “Hell, no. I’m a businessman. If I trusted everybody, they’d screw me over. But sometimes you know in your gut who to trust and who not to trust. I went with gut instinct with you, Cinderella.”
“I’m not always a good person, Jett,” I confessed. “Sometimes I was actually so hungry that I stole food. But I never stole money or other things. But when you’re hungry—”
“Don’t, Ruby,” he warned in a dangerous tone. “Don’t justify trying to survive.”
“I’m not,” I answered. “I guess I just want you to know everything bad about me. Since you trust me, you deserve to know.”
“You never have to explain yourself to me.”
“Maybe I want to talk about it.”
“Then go ahead,” he said unhappily.
I took a deep breath before I said, “When I was really hungry, I considered selling my body for money or food.”
“Why
didn’t you?” he asked roughly.
“Because I decided I’d rather die than to let somebody use my body. I couldn’t stand to just lay there and let somebody touch me just to get off. And what if they ended up violent like my uncle?”
I heard Jett’s sharp intake of breath before he replied, “I want to hunt your uncle down and make him regret every fucking time he touched you.”
His comment probably should have scared me, but instead, his protectiveness made my heart ache. Nobody had ever stood up for me. Nobody had ever tried to keep me safe. However, the last thing I wanted was for Jett to get himself in trouble. “He’s not worth it,” I said.
Jett released a masculine sigh. “Maybe not. But I think he needs to be investigated so this doesn’t happen to another kid.”
I’d actually never thought about that, and my stomach did a flip at the thought. “Maybe I should have talked. I never even considered that he might do that to another child.”
“Of course you didn’t,” Jett replied in a softer tone. “You weren’t in a position to be strong. He kept you controlled and underneath his thumb.”
“Is there some way we can check him out to make sure he isn’t doing this to anybody else?” I asked.
Jett chuckled. “Cinderella, you have no idea how much I’m capable of doing. I’m an expert hacker, and I have a lot of connections.”
“You’re a hacker?” I said, astonished.
“Not exactly. But cybersecurity is my specialty, so it goes with the job.”
“Will you teach me?” I asked hopefully.
“Only if you promise not to try it on your own,” he said thoughtfully. “It’s pretty damn easy to get yourself in trouble if you don’t know all the subtleties of getting in and out without a footprint.”
“I promise,” I said eagerly.
“What about your dreams of having your own catering company? You can’t give that up to become a hacker. I do it because I’m testing the strength of systems. Otherwise, it’s a crime.”
I sighed. “I only wanted to learn because I pretty much want to know everything. And I’m never going to have a popular catering business. I think that’s pretty much just a fantasy. There are a lot of startup costs, and I’d need to learn how to handle the business part of things. I’d hoped that I could manage to get some kind of business degree before my parents died.”