“You’ve been out for a day and a half,” he said. The noise of the metal chair he sat on being dragged closer to the bed rang in my ears, making me cringe. “Sorry,” he muttered. “How are you feeling?”
I thought about it for a moment.
I was okay. I could feel my legs where the demons had cut me, the side of my stomach where I had grazed the stone, and my left shoulder where that last demon had slashed me, but none of these injures hurt too much. Physically, I was okay. I would be okay.
What hurt was the emptiness inside me.
My family was gone.
All I did for them, all I tried doing, all in vain. In the end I couldn’t protect them; I couldn’t save them. In fact, I put them on the path of danger.
If I had stayed away, or if I only had stopped by for a couple of hours, the demons wouldn’t have followed me there, and my family would be safe. My family would be alive.
Oh, God.
I tried curling into myself, but my injuries hurt too much. I gave up and pulled the pillow from under me instead and hugged it, hiding my face.
A sob choked me, and I prayed to die too. Why? Why hadn’t Omi killed me too?
I spied from under the pillow, thinking Micah had slipped out of the room while I ugly-cried until my eyes hurt, but he was still there seated on the same chair. As usual he was dressed in black. This time it seemed almost as a joke. I guess I should dress in all black too from now on.
If I had any clothes left, because I didn’t. Everything I had was gone. Everything. Every piece of clothing, every book, every picture, every document, every person I loved and lived for.
A tear rolled down my face, and I quickly wiped it away.
Micah’s eyes fixed on mine with a sorrowful shine. The sympathy from before and the sorrowful expression on his face made me angry with him. Why was he sad? Out of pity? I didn’t need his pity, and I didn’t need his help.
“Talk to me, darling. How are you feeling?”
How do you think I’m feeling?
Pain sliced through my chest, and I closed my eyes, hugging the pillow tighter.
I didn’t want to answer. I didn’t want to think about it because if I thought about it, if I remembered it, it hurt more. The memory, the image of their bloodied bodies around me, burned inside, twisted my soul, and it ached more than my injuries. Much more. If I thought about my family, I wouldn’t do anything else other than cry.
Who was I kidding? I didn’t want to do anything else other than cry.
“Darling,” Micah whispered. His voice carried a tone I had never heard from him. His hand caressed my arm, and I felt like crying more. “I have something for you.”
I didn’t want anything from him, or anyone.
He gently clasped my wrist and turned my arm around so my palm faced the ceiling, then he dropped something there, something soft, fluffy, and almost weightless.
Realizing what it was, I flung the pillow aside. The air fled from me when my eyes fell on Pinky, Nicole’s stuffed bunny.
“Oh, God.” I pressed it to my chest, and a sob shook my core. Micah’s hand slid up my arm and squeezed my good shoulder. “How?”
“Rok told me your hometown was under attack, but I wasn’t fast enough.” He looked down. “When I got there, Omi was taking your family. There were too many of them. If I tried to save your family, I would have been captured too and that would make everything worse.” He dropped his hand. “Forgive me for not fighting for them right there. I thought I would be able to fight for them later.”
At a loss of what to do or what to feel, I did the only thing I could think of. Ignoring the ripples of pain that shot through my body, I knelt on the bed and embraced him. He was stiff at first, as if I had surprised him, but then his arms were around me, pressing me tighter. He buried his face on my neck and sighed.
“Nicole dropped that bunny, screaming that it was a gift from you and she couldn’t be without it. That’s why I grabbed it.”
Another sob ran through me. I inhaled deeply, trying to calm down. His vanilla and sandalwood scent washed my senses. In the past, I had felt lust whenever I had taken him in, but this time it brought me only security and comfort.
“I’m sorry, darling. I wish there was something I could do to ease your pain.”
“You could kill me,” I whispered without hesitation. He was the god of death, the dead, and the underworld, wasn’t he? He could kill me.
He grabbed my shoulders with a gentle grip and pushed me away. He stared at me with wide, hard eyes. “Don’t you ever kid like that, you got it? Never.”
I didn’t reply.
Hugging Pinky, I lay down on the bed turning on my side, my back to Micah.
I was being serious, even if he didn’t want to hear me. The best thing that could happen to me right now was to die, because the only thing I had to live for was gone.
Omi circled my family and me, pointing his scepter at each of us.
“Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,” he sang. His eyes sparkled red, sending fear crawling up my spine.
Desperate, I turned to my family and huddled them in my arms.
“No, Omi,” I mouthed. My voice didn’t come out, and I didn’t understand why. “Please, no,” I tried again, but the words were only in my mind.
“Tell me, Nadine, where are Levi and Mitrus?” Omi asked.
“I don’t know.” I shook my head, trying to emphasize my answer since my voice was completely gone.
Nicole’s arms tightened around me, and she buried her head in my chest. “I’m afraid,” she said.
“I won’t let anything happen to you,” I tried to say, and once more, there was only silence.
Omi turned his scepter to me. “I’ll give you one more chance to tell me.”
“I don’t know!” I mouthed, but he didn’t hear or see me.
He clicked his tongue. “What a shame.”
The red light shot out of his orb. I screamed. My family screamed.
The light became fire burning everything around me. Everyone. Except me.
I ran around my family, crying, trying to help them, to put out the fire, to get them out of there, to ease their pain.
My family writhed, screaming, jerking, their skin wrinkling and darkening. Burning, Nicole threw herself in my arms.
“It’s your fault,” she croaked before her skin peeled away. She shrunk and became dust in my hands.
I screamed.
“Nadine,” a voice seeped through my mind. “Nadine, wake up!” A strong hand clasped my arms and shook me. “Nadine!”
I opened my eyes and stopped screaming when my eyes settled on Micah’s worried face.
“It was just a nightmare,” he said, his grip easing around me. “You’re okay now, darling. It was just a nightmare.”
I looked around. We were still in the same place—some research bunker, I heard the others mentioning. I was in my room in my tiny bed, and we were safe. But my family wasn’t. My family was gone.
Whimpering, I hugged Pinky.
Micah let out a heavy sigh, ran a hand through his hair, cursed under his breath, then knelt beside the bed.
My eyes widened.
“I’ll stay here until you fall asleep again.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement, apparently not open for discussion.
However, I couldn’t lie. I didn’t want to be alone right now, and if Ceris had offered to stay with me during the night, I would have let her. At least Micah was nice to me—some of the time.
He sat on the bed beside me, his back to the headboard, arms crossed. I scooted closer, but turned on my side, my back against his leg, and faced the wall.
Micah’s heavy hand rested on my arm, caressing me from my elbow to my shoulder and over my back. Almost like a lullaby.
I barely got out of bed for three days.
They came and went all the time. Micah, Keisha, Victor, and even Ceris. They tried to convince me to eat more, to walk around, to breathe fresh air, to explore the bunker … a
nything. But I didn’t move. That didn’t stop them from telling me about everything that was going on.
Apparently Micah had found this shelter years ago when he was still a god. He had scared the researchers away and used it whenever he wanted time for himself in a place where no one could find him. He never told anyone about this place, so we were safe here.
The bunker was supposed to be huge, with three underground levels—the first two levels were comprised mainly of labs and technical rooms, and the third level, where we were, had dozens of bedrooms, conference rooms, a cafeteria, and a kitchen.
Keisha seemed to like it here. Victor, on the other hand, hated it. However, I guessed that was mainly because he had to put up with Micah. Well, he had been the one to suggest they stick together, and after what happened to my family and me, they decided it was time to push past the childish loathing and stand together. For what I could gather, it wasn’t going too well.
Victor came to visit me a couple of times each day.
During the second day, he sat in a chair beside my bed, took a deep breath, and burst. “I think I’m responsible for what happened to your family. For what happened to you. My aura is stronger, and the demons probably followed me. Once we were together, they separated and followed us both. I was able to disappear, but you couldn’t. They found you and … I’m so, so sorry.”
I didn’t know what to think of this. Was he responsible for my family’s deaths? I wasn’t sure. Even if what he said were true, in the end I would have gone to him at some point, healed him, and caused the demons to follow me back. The demons would have found me sooner or later.
Still, I couldn’t help the disheartened feeling smothering my chest. It was easier to blame him than myself. Easier to be mad and frustrated at him than me.
I also had learned the residents of the bunker had meetings where they discussed where the scepters could be, because that was the most important task right now—to find the scepters so Victor and Micah would be able to become full gods again, and be strong enough to wage a war against Imha and Omi.
However, Ceris also wished to look for allies. According to her, there were many powerful deities out there, and they would need any help they could get for the upcoming war. Victor seemed reluctant about it. He thought they should do that after they were full gods again because if they attracted attention now, Imha might find out about them and have them killed easily since they were still in human bodies. The group argued more than actually decided anything. Not that I saw any of that. Keisha was the one telling me.
“There are times when I think Lord Levi and Lord Mitrus will start a fist fight right then and there,” she told me once, extracting a small smile from me.
On the third day, I had a huge surprise when someone I wasn’t expecting entered my room.
“Morgan!” I yelled, sitting up on the bed.
“Hey, girl!” He came to me and hugged me tight. “I’m so sorry.”
Oh, God. New tears sprung to my eyes, and I couldn’t help but sob. Whenever someone said they were sorry, my helplessness and guilt returned.
He rubbed my back, and whispered comforting words. After a long while, I took a deep breath and sat back.
“I’m glad you’re here,” I muttered.
“Me too. Someone needs to kick that pretty butt of yours and get you up.”
I smiled. “You sound like Micah.”
He made a face, scrunching his nose. “I know, right?”
“Hey. What happened to you? I mean, we were in Victor’s car and you spilled the fountain water around us, but when Micah and I made it to the other side, you weren’t there.”
“The Fates sent me back to the temple in Jacksonville. I was confused, but they sent me a message later telling me you both were safe and I shouldn’t worry.”
“And how did you end up here this time?”
“Lady Ceris is all about connecting with allies. I guess I’m one of them.”
“Oh. Good. You’re a good asset to their quest.”
He squinted at me. “You know, I arrived here a couple of hours ago, and all I have heard since is that you have barely eaten or moved.” He took my hand in his. “I know you must be hurting, Nad, but you can’t stop living. Your family wouldn’t want you to do this.”
“I know,” I whispered, a little ashamed.
“If they knew about your ability to help the gods, to keep them going so they can restore the light to the world, your family would want you working hard on that.”
I groaned, hating to hear these truthful words. “I know.”
“Then what’s stopping you?”
I closed my eyes for a second. “It hurts.”
“I know it does, but use that hurt. Channel it. Do something about it. Use it to fuel your motivations.”
“How?”
The door opened, and Keisha stepped inside.
“Hey,” she said with a tight smile. “Hi, Morgan.” Apparently they had already met. He waved at her, and she turned to me. “How are you?”
“The same,” I answered. She had her long black hair in a ponytail and wore gym clothes. “Where are you going?”
“To train,” she said. “Micah transformed one of the big conference rooms into a gym.”
A gym inside a seventy-year-old bunker. That was interesting.
“So, you just run on a treadmill?”
She laughed. “That too, but mostly I train with weapons and punch a pretty mean punch dummy.” She looked at her cell phone and pouted her lips. “I should get going. I have only two hours before the next meeting. I’ll stop by later.”
She left the room, and I stared at the closed door.
Somewhere in this bunker, she would train. Landing punches and swinging weapons. Skills that could be useful in battle. A battle against Imha and Omi. A battle I could participate in. My family would support that; they would approve of me helping in this war.
It was like a burst of energy shot through my veins. The sorrow, the sadness suddenly became rage and hunger for revenge. But I needed more. Just fighting wouldn’t do it. I needed a bigger reason than just revenge against Imha and Omi.
Morgan raised his eyebrows at me. “What is it?”
I almost told him I probably found a reason to get up from this bed, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up yet. I only averted my eyes and answered, “I’m not sure yet.”
15
The next day, I went to the improvised library. It was one of the bedrooms, filled with hundreds of books Morgan insisted on bringing with him. Good for me because I was hoping to find what I was looking for in one of them.
I sat down on the floor with a few books I thought could have the information I needed. The first one was called The Gods and Goddesses of the Everlasting Circle. This should be interesting.
I flipped through the pages. There were drawings of each god and goddess, but they didn’t look like the real thing at all. They looked more like Greek gods with those round faces, white robes, and the leaves on their heads. So odd.
A sentence from the introduction caught my attention.
No god or goddess or any deity of The Everlasting Circle is fully good or fully evil. They fight for their beliefs, which may change as the world changes, even if their foundations do not.
I thought of Imha and Omi. They weren’t fully evil? Of course they were. Look at what they were doing!
Shaking my head, I continued flipping the pages. That wasn’t what I was looking for.
My fingers stopped by Levi’s page.
He’s the balance, the sole force that keeps the Circle strong and tied together. He’ll always stand on the neutral side and try to bring others to an agreement. He’ll put his needs after the needs of his brothers and his people.
So far, human Victor hadn’t been that unselfish.
Ceris’s page was next.
The goddess of love and family will do anything for her family.
No argument there.
She’s the strength b
ehind Levi’s balance. Without her, his equilibrium will tip over and The Everlasting Circle will crumble.
A pang shot through my heart. I pushed the feeling aside, because who was I to feel jealousy if there was nothing there to be jealous about? I knew she had created my feelings for him so I could do whatever I had to do to help them.
Even so, it was hard to shut my emotions down. Despite what I wanted, I still thought of him, of the kiss we shared, of the feelings behind that kiss, and sometimes I wondered if those feelings could truly be false.
Pushing that aside, I flipped to Omi’s page.
Besides being bloodthirsty for war, Omi is a great strategist, and he finds himself useful when planning the balance of the world with Levi. He oversees any war going on in the world, keeping an eye on the wounded and lost, along sending help their way. He also tries to judge which side is right and wrong, if any, and help them win the war, so not many lives will be lost in it.
Whoa. No, this couldn’t be.
Omi seemed cruel and bloodthirsty like the passage said. And just that. Bloodthirsty. Nothing else.
He had killed my family, and I refused to accept any other image of him.
Irritated, I continued my perusal. Next was Imha’s chapter.
She may be the goddess of chaos, but even she can get tired of eternal chaos. In the past, whenever she threw the world into chaos, she confessed regretting it.
What?
Imha had thrown the world in chaos before? And she regretted it?
Why did nobody tell me that?
The next paragraph, though, made me sick.
Though Imha doesn’t have a true mate, as Ceris and Levi are, there are recordings in history of short relationships with Omi and with Mitrus. Although fleeting, events indicate these relationships are recurrent.
What?
Holy shit. To imagine her with Micah … I felt like throwing up.
Seriously? This book couldn’t be half-right. It had been written by humans who hadn’t had any contact with the gods. Of course, it wasn’t right.
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