“I don’t get it.”
“I’ll fight with magic, and you’ll use a sword.”
“How fair is that?”
One corner of his lips tugged up. “Exactly. That’s what you’ll encounter on the battlefield, and it’s not fair. You should be prepared for it.”
It made sense, of course, but I wasn’t about to tell him that. I preferred being on the defensive.
“And why aren’t you offering to train Keisha and Alice too?”
The smirk on his lips spread a little more. “Because you’re special, darling, and you deserve special treatment.”
What the hell? That angered me, but instead of confronting him, I decided to be the bigger person and walk away before things got out of hand. I took three steps toward the door and froze before the fourth step when a black bolt zoomed past me, missing me by a few inches, and hit the wall behind me.
I gaped at Micah. “Are you crazy?”
He produced black flames over his open palm. “You have no idea.”
I stared at him, shocked by his behavior. Knowing he wouldn’t really hurt me—I hoped—I walked on. Until two bolts crossed my paths, one right after another.
“What …?” I shut my mouth. I wouldn’t dignify this by actually talking to him.
“Fight!” he urged, his black eyes shining. He conjured another bolt of black flames. “Come on, darling. I know you want to get a hit or two on me. Fight!” He threw the bolt, and this time if I hadn’t jumped back, it would have hit me.
I was past words. Rage tore through me and I rushed him. His wicked smile widened as he shifted his weight, ready to attack. Two bolts appeared in his hands. But a couple of feet from him, I detoured to the side, crouched down, rolled on my back, and shot up by the weapons wall. I grabbed a wooden training sword as a black bolt flew at me. I sidestepped, and it exploded on the wall, rattling the weapons.
I took a short dagger from the wall and threw it at him just as he was conjuring another bolt. That made him stop and move, letting go of the bolt.
“Nice,” he said, his tone amused.
In the meantime, I took other daggers from the wall, hoping to use them soon.
Then Micah was on me again, throwing black balls of energy, one after another. I was able to run from a couple, and I parried a few with my sword. When they touched the metal of the blade, they exploded, rattling the sword and my arms. The first time I did that, I almost fell on my butt, but as I parried bolt after bolt, I grew used to their strength and matched it with mine.
It was hard to get to him when he was throwing his magic at me nonstop. And that was what the daggers were for. I threw one at him, forcing him to twist his shoulders to avoid being hit, which gave me enough time to race three steps to him before he could throw another bolt.
I lifted the sword over my head and yelled as I was about to strike. Micah cast a shield in the middle of the ten inches that separated us. My sword slammed into the shield and bounced back, rattling my arms and shoulders, and sending me sprawling on my back.
“Ow,” I muttered.
Before I could recover, Micah stood over me, one foot on each side of my hips, a wicked grin on his lips, and a black bolt in his hands.
He winked. “I win, darling.”
Renewed rage ripped through me. I pushed my knees to my chest and curled my hips up, freeing my legs from his. I opened my legs and swiped at him, but Micah was ready. He jumped up, and then fell on me, his knees stranding my hips and his feet on my knees.
I scanned the room and saw my sword on the floor by my side. I reached out, but it was still a few inches away from me. With his powers, Micah flicked the sword and it skittered away.
“What the hell?” I screamed.
He leaned over me, aligning his face with mine. He stared at me, the intensity of his gaze too much for words. My breath caught. For a moment, I lost myself in the depths of his black eyes, dreaming of other moments we shared like this. Moments that had given me hope that … that he liked me more than he let on. That he liked me almost as much as I loved him.
His hand shot up and his fingertips grazed my skin as he brushed a strand of hair that had come loose from my ponytail. His touch sent rivulets of want, of need into me, and I shivered.
Then his lips were mere inches from mine, and I found myself arching my back, reaching up to him.
“Like I said, darling. I win,” he said.
The spell shattered.
With a scream, I threw my hands up, intent on pushing against his chest and getting him off me. Instead, white light shone from my palms and white bolts flew up, hitting Micah’s chest and flinging him five feet in the air and all the way across the room. He hit the wall with a loud grunt. The bolts faded and he fell on his knees. I sat up, gaping at my hands. What had happened?
A cough broke my shock and I shot up, rushing to Micah as he struggled to stand. Dread and panic rose in my chest. Had I hurt him?
“Micah! Are you okay?” I went to grab his shoulders, but he started laughing. Really laughing. I froze and stared.
“That was … incredible,” he said, his voice a little hoarse.
I flinched, taking a step back. He kept laughing and I slapped his shoulder. “You scared me! I thought I had really hurt you!”
With a loud sigh, Micah’s laughter died and he looked at me, a smile on his lips. “I’m okay, darling.”
I slapped his shoulder again. “Stop calling me that.”
“Stop hitting me,” he said, but his tone was still light and teasing. “Good practice, don’t you think?”
I frowned at him. “Did you do this on purpose? To get me to use magic again?”
He shook his head. “Not really. My intention was to prepare you for what’s to come. And to spend some time alone with you. But I’m glad it happened. Now we know it’s not a fluke.”
“How do you know? I could still have channeled it from you.”
“I was paying attention, darling. I didn’t feel anything. You didn’t use my powers. You used yours.”
I raised my arm to slap him again, because I was still mad at him—for pushing me to do this and for letting me think I had hurt him—but then he closed his hand around my wrist and pivoted, pressing me against the wall with his body.
“I’m proud of you, darling,” he whispered in a husky voice.
His hard body against mine, his gruff voice, his sandalwood scent … it was too much for me. I couldn’t think straight. I knew I should be mad at him, that I should push away from him, but I didn’t have the strength to do it. I didn’t have the will. I wanted him right where he was.
Micah shifted, aligning his hips with mine, and I felt how aroused he was. I gasped.
“I’m always proud of you.” His breath danced over my lips and I leaned into him, needing to have more.
Voices and footsteps boomed from the apartment.
Micah jumped three feet away from me, and with my weak knees, I had to lean against the wall not to fall on my face.
Victor and Ceris burst into the gym first.
“What happened?” Ceris asked, looking from Micah to me. “We heard crashes and screams.”
With a serious, somber expression, Micah turned to them. “We were training.” He glanced at me and his eyes were already different. The intense and amused shine was gone, replaced by something I couldn’t quite grasp. Was it pain? Frustration? Sadness? It didn’t make sense. “Nadine was able to use her magic again.”
“What?” Victor said. He smiled at me. “That’s great.”
“No,” I said, finally pushing through all the emotions causing turmoil inside me. “It’s not great, because I didn’t do it on purpose. I still don’t know how to control it, how to call it.”
“But you did it,” Ceris said. “That must mean you weren’t channeling our magic.”
“I was paying attention,” Micah said. “She didn’t draw it from me, and I’m guessing you all were too far for her to draw from you.”
�
��That’s … good news,” Victor said. “I think. If you keep practicing, you’ll be able to do it again.”
I picked up the wooden sword from the floor. “Perhaps we should research more before actually letting me use it. We don’t know what kind of magic it is, or what I can do with it.”
I thought about the panic I felt when I saw Micah flying across the room. I would have killed myself if I had hurt him. I didn’t want to feel that despair ever again.
“I understand your apprehension, but we’ve been researching for days now and have found nothing. We shouldn’t let this momentum get away,” Ceris said. “We can start with small spells, things that are sure not to hurt anyone. Meanwhile, we keep researching.”
Looking at Ceris, Micah said, “I’ll leave you to it, then.”
Once more, Micah simply left. No second glances, no explanation, nothing. He just upped and left.
And I berated my stupid self for deep down hoping that one of these days he would actually stay.
13
Nadine
This time, when the dream started I knew exactly who I was in it and what was happening.
Inside what looked like a small, bare bedroom, the young woman halted in front of me, her eyes filled with tears. “You have to understand. I love him. I can’t live without him. I need to stay with him.”
The actions and words took me over, as if I had rehearsed them a long time ago. I retreated a few steps from her and stared at her as if I didn’t know her at all.
Dread surged in my chest. “What did you do?” I asked. She put a hand over her mouth to stifle a sob. Her silence was enough. “No, you didn’t. No, please, tell me you didn’t.”
Slowly, she dropped her hand and met my eyes. “I did,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. I knew you wouldn’t understand if I asked for your help. So I did it alone.”
I shook my head as panic replaced the dread in me. “Oh my gods.”
She reached for my hand. “We’ll still be sisters and friends. Forever.”
I took another step back. “No. Not forever.” Anger and betrayal edged my panic and I welcomed them. “I can’t believe you did this. Do you have any idea of the consequences? Of course, you don’t. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have done it.”
“I know the consequences.” She wiped her tears. “I chose him over whatever may happen.”
“May happen? It will happen!”
I stormed out of the bedroom and the world spun in darkness. I blinked and the dark dissipated. I was back in the volcano, and in front of me, Morgan stood with his hand on his stomach, blood seeping between his fingers.
“You killed me,” he said, his voice laced with shock and disgust.
“Oh, God,” I whispered, reaching for him. “I didn’t.”
“You killed me!” he screamed.
I halted. “Please, forgive me.”
“I knew you were evil. I knew you would ruin us all.”
Tears brimmed in my eyes. “No, no.”
“You, Nadine, will be the end of our world.”
I sat up in my bed, breathing hard. My hand jumped to my racing heart and I was glad this time there was no pain with the nightmare.
What the hell was that? First the crazy dream, then the nightmare with Morgan? What was next? A nightmare about the murder of my family? There was only so much I could take.
I lay back down, but my mind and body were too agitated to quiet down. At least there wasn’t any crazy pain today. Reluctantly, I scooted out of my bed and tiptoed to the kitchen. I closed the door to make sure I wouldn’t wake anyone, and grabbed a tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream from the fridge. I had no idea how Ceris still found ice cream and soda and several other luxury items in our decaying world—and right now I didn’t care.
I picked a spoon from the silverware drawer and sat on a stool on the kitchen island. I probably should serve a scoop or two in a bowl, but I was too agitated to care. I dug in the ice cream tub, knowing I should control myself before I ended up eating everything.
Of course, my mind wandered to the odd dream and the nightmare. I didn’t pay much attention to the dream, but I hung onto the nightmare. God, poor Morgan. He had been one of our most resourceful assets and a good friend before the Crimson Dagger did a number on him—and I had killed him.
A lump rose in my throat. When would this guilt leave me? Never. I knew that. And I kind of didn’t want it to leave me. If I felt guiltless, it meant I didn’t care about him, and I did care. I would always care.
In need of something to wash down the lump clogging my throat, I stood and snatched a soda from the fridge. When I closed the fridge door, I jumped back.
“Oh my God, you want to give me a heart attack?”
As he leaned against the counter beside the fridge, Micah’s serious eyes set on mine. “Can’t sleep?”
I shrugged and returned to my stool and ice cream. I popped the can open and drank a long swallow. The lump was still there.
With a beer in hand, Micah sat on the stool across the island. “What was it this time? Pain or nightmare?” I didn’t answer. I didn’t even look at him. I just stuffed more ice cream into my mouth. He sighed. “Look, I get it, okay. I was a jerk today during practice, but I swear to you that wasn’t my intention. I would never hurt you, not int—”
“Don’t,” I snarled, looking into his eyes. “Don’t say anything. I don’t want to hear any excuses.”
His jaw set. “Fine. But you know we’ll be around each other all day, every day, right? You can’t ignore me forever.”
“I can try.”
“What else do you want me to do, Nadine? Want me to kneel in front of you and beg for forgiveness?”
Even if I said that was exactly what I wanted, would he know what he was asking forgiveness for? I doubted it.
This was going nowhere. Like he said, we would be around each other every day. If I kept up this effort of ignoring him, I would become grumpy and my usefulness would dwindle further. Time to drop the hormonal teenager act and behave like a responsible adult—the war and its effort came before any boy-girl drama.
I dropped my spoon and shoved the ice cream tub aside. “There’s nothing to forgive,” I said, though deep inside I wanted him to tell me he was sorry for pulling me to him then pushing me away. For kissing me then leaving without explanation. For acting like a lust-crazed lunatic this afternoon, provoking me, and then shutting me down again. “We don’t need to be best friends to fight a war together.” I took a sip of my soda. “It’s all fine.” One eyebrow raised, he tilted his head to the side, as if trying to figure out my logic. I didn’t give him a chance. “What are you doing out of bed?”
He lifted one of his shoulders. “I heard noises and came to check it out.”
The shield around the building didn’t let anyone inside, and if someone got in, the gods would be able to sense it way before they got inside the apartment. He knew that. “Well, it could only be me, or Keisha or Alice, or one of the gods. No need to come check it out.”
“I wanted to.” The gleam in his eyes darkened, too intense. I averted my gaze. “Before I came back, I was in the underworld,” he said. That caught my attention and I glanced back at him. “I checked on your family. They are doing well.” I held my breath, not expecting this. I let out the air in my lungs slowly, relieved my family was okay. “I also checked on Morgan. Actually, I spoke to him.”
My heart stuttered. “W-what?”
“When he died, the charm from the dagger released him. He’s the same Morgan as before.”
That was … that was good to know. However, it made me feel worse. I had killed him. I had killed our good friend, one of our best allies.
Tears brimmed in my eyes. “And?”
“He’s fine.” Micah reached across the island and took one of my hands in his much larger one. “He knows you did what you had to do. He understands. He knows he had to be stopped. He said to thank you for … ending him.”
I opened my mouth, b
ut nothing came out. Morgan thanked me for killing him? Who in the hell did that?
“But … I killed him. How can he thank me for that?”
“I told you, he understands. He said he would have done the same thing if the roles were reversed.”
I gulped. So, Morgan would have killed me if I had been the one affected by the Crimson Dagger. I understood. If I was that out of control and there was no cure, I would have wanted someone to stop me. Still, didn’t make it any easier to accept the fact that I had killed him.
I stared at Micah’s hand on mine. Why was he so nice and caring sometimes? I wished he would decide what he wanted. The cocky, self-centered Micah who flirted with all the girls and kept me at five arms’ lengths, or the one that looked at me in a way that took my breath away.
I sighed. It didn’t matter. It would never matter. Not with the ticking clock over my head.
I pulled my hand free from Micah’s. “Thank you,” I whispered. “For telling me this.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I found Ronen!” I announced from the living room. Everyone else was in the kitchen, cleaning up after lunch. I had eaten with them, but then something itched in my mind and I had to look at the map instead of lingering in the kitchen and talking while washing the dishes and putting everything away.
Ceris and Victor were the first to run out of the kitchen and sit beside me on the couch. Micah was the last one, and he lingered by the door, his arms crossed, watching us.
“Where?” Ceris asked, leaning over the unrolled map on the coffee table.
“Here.” I pointed to a small town outside Moscow where the symbol of the goddess of entertainment had shown up, bright and strong.
Ceris frowned. “Why would she be there?”
“It doesn’t matter why,” Victor said. “All that matters is we should go get her.”
“Now?” Keisha asked. She stood in the middle of the living room, her pose ready to strike, even though she didn’t have any weapons with her. Well, she didn’t need any to inflict serious damage.
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