Heartbreak wasn’t the only thing Logan Alexander had left me with.
When the memories passed, I was still sitting on that curb with my head in my hands. Part of me wanted to stay there forever, but a bigger part forced me to my feet. Whether Logan was still there or not, I had to go back. My family would be worried. Audra had probably already verbally accosted Logan. I couldn’t hide forever.
Slowly, I walked through the streets until I reached Kellan’s. I went around the back so I could enter he way I left, but it didn’t matter. When I walked inside, the place was almost entirely empty. Only my mother and a few distant relatives were left.
“Where’d you go?” my mom asked as I walked up to her.
“Just had to clear my head,” I explained.
“Uh huh,” she nodded and gave me a scrutinizing look. She didn’t say it, but I knew she’d seen me leave after Logan arrived.
“Audra take the kids home?” I asked.
“She did.”
“Do you need any help cleaning up?”
“No, I think we’ve got it handled.”
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll just meet you at home then.”
I turned to leave, when I felt her fingers brush against my arm. I looked up at her. Her eyes were watching me the same way they did that morning all those years ago. The morning Audra and I told her. She looked at me with concern and a motherly intuition I recognized all too well.
I waited for her to speak. She didn’t. She simply looked at me with so much understanding it made my eyes fill with tears. I stepped closer to her. She wrapped her arms around me and held me against her chest. I breathed in the familiar smell of her perfume and let myself relax for the first time since I arrived in Bradberry. Of all the things I missed, I didn’t realize how much I needed this.
When she let me go I wiped my eyes and left the bar without saying goodbye. Audra and Jack took the car and I didn’t want to wait for my mother, so I decided to walk home. It wasn’t far, just a couple miles, and it would give me a chance to clear my head before I saw the rest of the family. Especially Lilliana.
Eleven
Logan
I drove home from the wake with my head spinning. When I pulled into my driveway, I knew I wouldn’t be able to sit still for long. Without going inside, I walked down the driveway and back into town. I didn’t know where I was going, I just knew I needed to move.
Seeing Piper didn’t go how I planned, but that wasn’t what was weighing on my mind. Piper running out of the pub left me feeling sad, but I could understand her desire to get away. Audra’s words were what made me rethink everything I thought I knew.
“I know it may have not seemed like anything to you, but what you and Piper had meant everything to her. You broke her heart.”
As I walked through town, I replayed my entire relationship with Piper. I remembered our conversations, our late nights together, all the time we spent talking about our hopes and dreams for the future. Back then, I thought we were on the same page. I thought Piper understood me better than anyone ever had or ever could.
Nothing could have been further from the truth. That much was obvious. What didn’t make sense is how I could have been so wrong, how I could have misconstrued the entire thing for the past five years. That last night in Kellan’s was so long ago, but it stood out vividly in my mind. She was angry at first. Sad. But, so was I. I explained why I had to leave and I thought she understood. I apologized. And she walked away. I could still see her curls disappearing through the front door and out into the parking lot. I remembered wanting to chase after her, but not knowing what I would say. She just needed time, I told myself. We would find our way back to each other. Surely, she felt that way, too?
Or did she? Was I just deluding myself all these years? Had my decision to leave destroyed all the feelings Pipers had for me? Had she spent the past five years hating me for choosing the SEALs over her?
Damn. I felt weaker than I had in months as these questions and memories overwhelmed me. My head was pounding as Audra’s words echoed in my mind. My arms and legs felt like jelly. My eyes and chest were heavy with crushing anxiety. I walked faster.
I walked the perimeter around the town square three times, just trying to work through my emotions, before I decided to sit down for a few minutes. Not five minutes after I found a bench, Piper crossed the street right in front of me. She was moving quickly, her hips swaying slightly. I could see every curve of her body beneath her tight dress. Her dark hair caught the light perfectly. It was captivating. I was on my feet instantly.
“Piper!” I called, hurrying over to her. She glanced behind her and I saw her deflate when she realized it was me who was calling out to her. She slowed down, but didn’t stop. I jogged until I could fall into step beside her. She crossed her arms protectively over her chest and raised her chin. Her eyes remained focused in front of her. The expression on her face was one I knew all too well. She wore that same look every time we argued. Whenever I said something stupid or upset her in some way, she would cross her arms, raise her chin, square her shoulders, and glare into the distance.
“Logan,” Piper said with the tiniest of nods.
“I was going to say hi at the wake, but you ran out of there pretty fast,” I said. I studied her face, waiting to see a reaction I recognized.
“Yeah, it was getting crowded back there,” Piper said without emotion.
“Well, it’s good to see you,” I said tentatively. “I’m sorry about your uncle.”
“Thank you.” Piper’s voice was cold and I all I wanted to do was crack the ice and see the real her again.
“How are your parents taking it?” I asked.
“They’re fine,” she said. “Sad. Like all of us.”
“Well, the wake was nice,” I said. “They did a great job. I’m sure Jeff would have loved it.”
“You didn’t even know him.”
“No, but I knew of him,” I reminded her. “You told me stories about your whole family, remember?”
“That was a long time ago, Logan,” she said. “Things have changed.”
“Like what?” I asked. There was a desperation in my voice I knew she could hear. Piper always knew me better than I knew myself.
“Everything,” she sighed. “Everything has changed.”
I walked beside her in silence. There were so many things I wanted to say, but none of them felt important enough. I glanced over at her every few seconds, hoping to catch her looking at me, but she never did. Her blue eyes were sparkling in the sunlight and she looked angrier than I’d ever seen her. Shit, the was going to harder than I thought.
It amazed me how someone could be so angry and so beautiful at the same time. Even when she wouldn’t look at me. Even when I could tell she wanted nothing more than to be rid of me, she was the most gorgeous woman I’d ever seen.
“Not everything. You’re still just as beautiful as ever,” I said softly. Piper flinched and I immediately regretted my words. “I’m sorry.”
“What do you want, Logan?” she demanded.
“I just wanted to see you,” I explained. “To talk to you.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s been five years…”
“I know,” Piper said, her voice tight. “Which is why I don’t understand what good this will do. Why bother coming to Jeff’s wake? Or chasing me down now?”
“I told you, I just wanted to see you.”
Piper glared into the distance. She tightened her arms around her chest and picked up her pace. She walked faster, telling me without speaking that it was time for me to walk away. I didn’t. I couldn’t. Now that I was finally talking to her, I didn’t want to stop.
“No one told me you were back in town,” I said. I knew I sounded stupid, but I couldn’t stop myself. The words were flying out of my mouth at warped speed. I just wanted to hear her voice again.
“Why would they? You’re not important to me anymore, Logan.” The venom in her voice w
as like a punch to the stomach. My eyes never left her face. I waited to see if she would thaw even slightly, but she didn’t. Her eyes were focused on the sidewalk in front of us. She didn’t spare so much as a glance in my direction.
For years, I dreamt of what it would be like to see her again. I played her voice over and over in my mind when I was out on a mission or when training became too monotonous. It kept me calm, centered. My memories of here were my anchor. Now, when I was finally getting the chance to be with her, she couldn’t even bother to look at me.
Rage filled my body and I felt my face flush red. I told myself to stay calm, that she was just hurt after the way things ended between us. To me, we’d ended with a possibility for a relationship again in the future. To Piper, it must have felt completely different.
Still, my disappointment got the better of me. The longer we walked without Piper sparing me a glance, the angrier I became.
“I don’t mean anything to you? Clearly. You couldn’t even call? Pick up the phone after all these years? After all the letters I wrote you?”
“No. And I never should have come back.”
“Why?” I demanded.
“So, I could keep avoiding all of this! You trying to pull me back in. Make me your girl again. I am not your girl Logan, and I never will be.”
“We’ll see about that.”
The words left my mouth before I realized what I was saying. She brought out the best and worst sides of me. My long-suppressed cockiness reared its ugly head again. In that moment, I knew it had been a mistake to let those words slip out, but I didn’t regret them. Not then and not later. Finally, Piper came to a full stop and turned to face me head on.
“What did you just say?” Her eyes were narrowed dangerously.
“I said you’ll be mine again, Piper,” I said.
“That’s not going to happen Logan,” she snapped.
“You’ve been wrong before.” I spat back at her before walking away.
Piper was my new mission, and this time, I wouldn’t fail.
Twelve
Piper
“Ian, I have been dreaming about these scones for so long,” I said into my phone. “You have no idea how amazing these things are.”
“Bring me back a few,” he suggested.
“Oh, I’m bringing back a dozen,” I assured him.
“That’s the fatty I know and love,” he teased.
“Watch it,” I warned. “You know I can fire you.”
“You know you never would,” he said with confidence. I rolled my eyes and stepped further forward as the line at Angie’s began to move.
After my encounter with Logan the day before, I needed an Angie’s fix to get my day started. I woke up feeling younger than I’d felt in years. Just one conversation with Logan and I was back to my old self again. Vulnerable. Exposed. I hated my old self.
“How was the funeral?” Ian asked, snapping me back to reality.
“It was… fine,” I said with a shake of my head. I tried to clear my thoughts, but images of Logan were flooding my mind. I saw his smiling face the night he told me about the SEALs. I saw him flush with rage just a few hours before. His dark eyes looked angrier than I’d ever seen them.
“Uh oh,” Ian said.
“What?”
“I know what that means,” he said.
“You do?” I asked with a small chuckle. “And what does it mean?”
“It means you ran into that old flame of yours. Leo? Logan? Something like that.”
I sighed deeply and looked up at the ceiling. I would never know how Ian did it, but he could always hone in on the one thing I didn’t want to talk about. He had a sixth sense for things like that.
“What old flame?” I asked evasively. Ian snorted on the other end of the phone and I knew he didn’t buy it.
“Talk to Ian sweetie,” he said, putting on his therapist voice. “Come on. Tell me everything.”
“Ugh,” I said. “Ian, there really isn’t much to tell. I saw him. Logan. I ran away. He found me. We talked. He ran away. The end.”
“That is so not the end,” Ian criticized. “You saw him. Logan. For the first time in years and that’s all you have to say about it. Please.”
“Don’t push this, okay?” I begged.
“Piper, I only do this because I love you,” Ian reminded me.
“I know you do, but…”
“And because I love you,” he interrupted. “It is my job to help you deal with these things. I can’t do that if you don’t talk to me about it.”
“What makes you think I need help dealing with it?” I demanded.
“Honey, we both know you can’t be trusted to do this on your own.”
“Okay,” I said. “Fine.”
“Thank you.”
“Well,” I began, moving a step forward in line. “He came to my uncle’s wake. He just walked right in wearing a black suit and…”
“How did he look?” Ian asked.
“Handsome,” I said. Even I knew that was an understatement. “Amazing, actually.”
“Swoon,” Ian cooed. “Continue.”
“He walked in. We made eye contact and I bolted. I just ran out of there as fast as I could. I didn’t stop running until I made it two streets over.”
“Why?” Ian asked. His tone suggested I was certifiably insane.
“Because I’m chicken shit. I couldn’t face him,” I explained. “Not after everything.”
“But you said you talked?” Ian asked. “Did he follow you? Oh my god, did he run after you? Because that would just melt my heart.”
“No, he didn’t follow me,” I scoffed. “That’s not Logan’s style.”
“Maybe it wasn’t five years ago, but you don’t know what his style is now.”
“I guess that’s true,” I shrugged. “But, in any case, he didn’t follow me. I went back to the pub and found my mom. Everyone else was gone, so I decided to walk home. Logan found me in the town square.”
“What did he say?” Ian demanded.
“Nothing important,” I said, rolling my eyes again. “This isn’t a love story, Ian. You aren’t going to be able to live vicariously through me on this one.”
“I refuse to believe that,” Ian said dismissively. I could almost see him waving his hand impatiently. “What did he say?”
“He said he was sorry for my loss, that it was good to see me, that I looked beautiful… that kind of thing.”
“Swoon!” Ian said again.
“Don’t do that!” I snapped. “He didn’t mean it. He was just playing into some script in his head that he’s been carrying around. Logan left me, remember?”
“And then he came back,” Ian said.
“No, I came back and I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t.”
I sighed deeply and moved another step forward. It was almost my turn to order. I was ready to get off the phone with Ian, but I knew he wasn’t done talking.
“Piper,” Ian said. “Listen to me, okay? Don’t let this become one of those things you don’t deal with.”
“What do you mean?” I demanded.
“You hide,” he said bluntly. “It’s what you do when things get rough. You run. You hide. You avoid. You, Piper Prewitt, are an avoider.”
“I am not,” I argued.
“You are,” Ian insisted. “And that’s okay, because I get it. You’ve had to stay strong any way you could, but maybe it’s time to let your guard down.”
“With Logan?” I asked.
“Yes, with Logan,” Ian hissed. “Are you telling me you don’t have any questions for him? That you haven’t thought about him once over the past five years?”
“Of course, I have,” I said. “But…”
“But nothing,” he said quickly. “This is your chance, Piper. All the unanswered questions you have, go get answers for them. And please, this time, don’t be mean to him.”
“How do you know I was mean?”
“Weren’t you?”
I paused, not wanting to admit he was right. I sighed and closed my eyes for a fraction of a second.
“Ian,” I said weakly. “I was a total immature bitch.”
“I know,” he said. “Next time you see him, be nice. Just talk to him. See what happens.”
“And you’re sure that won’t open doors that are better left locked?”
“It might,” he admitted. “But how will you know if you never take the chance to find out?”
“You’re annoying,” I told him.
“Don’t I know it,” he laughed.
“I gotta go,” I told him. “I’m next in line.”
“Don’t forget my scones,” he said. “Talk soon. Love ya.”
He hung up right as I stepped up to the counter. I glanced at the display case beside me and my mouth immediately began to water.
“I’ll have one lemon scone and one apple raisin, please,” I ordered with a smile.
“We haven’t seen you around lately,” Angie said. “How have you been, Piper?”
“I’ve been good,” I said. “Busy with work and things, but good.”
“That’s nice to hear,” Angie nodded. She smiled kindly at me and I remembered why I loved her place. Everything here felt so homey and comfortable. The smell of vanilla and cinnamon was so strong you could smell it down the street. I loved it. “That’ll be $4.95.”
“Okay,” I said, reaching my hand into my purse. I groped around for my wallet, but couldn’t find it. I wrenched the purse wide open and peered inside, but my wallet was nowhere to be found. I slapped my hand to my forehead as I realized I had left it in my parents’ kitchen. I was in such a hurry to leave the house that I hadn’t grabbed it.
“Piper?” Angie asked.
“I’m so sorry, Angie,” I sputtered. “I must have left my wallet at home…”
“I got it,” a voice said from behind me. I spun around to see Logan stepping out of line and making his way toward me. “Add a small coffee to that, please Angie.”
“You got it,” Angie smiled.
SEAL'd With A Kiss: A Second Chance SEAL Romance Page 5