saint Sebastian the Rose

  The twins held up here with their protectors, their minds on the edge of the future, always wondering when their next doom would come. One of their only comforts came from the company they kept—Father Donovan and Sebastian both stayed with them.

  Everyone was clearly nervous. Would they be safe anywhere in the monastery? After the last event they did not know. Jacob and Jessica couldn’t figure out how Baldric came into the chapel without anyone noticing.

  Few slept in those remaining hours. Monks stood guard over those who tried to sleep, though most could only get minimal rest. Many did not want to even attempt sleep, but Father Donovan made the request of them, knowing the following day there would be much to do. Daytime hours were precious, and he would need his brothers to have their strength and their faculties about them.

  Jacob watched as Sebastian and Father Donovan sat on the other side of the room in deep discussion. Lying on a large mat, he drifted in and out of sleep next to his sister, who had long ago drifted off to sleep. He looked to his watch with anxiety to see if any time had passed; it was 4:45 a.m.

  Sebastian left Father Donovan and motioned for Jacob to come over. Father Donovan was coming his way as he started to walk. Jacob stopped to meet the old monk, unsure if he wanted him or not.

  “You go with Sebastian. I will stay with her,” Father Donovan reassured him.

  Jacob knew everything they did now had purpose; he only wondered what purpose Sebastian had chosen him for and what purpose Father Donovan might have for his sister.

  “Will they come for us?” Jacob asked, knowing the answer and feeling much like a little boy for asking it. He was looking for something, anything he could get, whether it was just assurance of the worst or hope for the future…

  “If there is one thing I can promise you, they are not a fickle lot. They will come.” Father Donovan led Jacob down that mental road with absolute resolve; his voice became even more serious when he continued, “It is not in their nature to give up. But I dare say it is not in your nature either and that is why we will meet them head on.”

  Father Donovan knew he had given him everything he needed and walked away. Jacob continued on towards Sebastian, who turned to lead the way heading to the only other door in the room. The doorway was dark, and Jacob knew as soon as he entered behind Sebastian this one went down.

  The stairs were lit only by the flickering of the candles in the room they had just left. Jacob knew he was in for something; he just wasn’t quite sure what.

  Sebastian made his way into a small room at the bottom of the stairs and waited for Jacob to find the floor. Jacob’s night vision was picking up the faintest dimensions of the room’s size and Sebastian’s form.

  “Why am I here?” Jacob asked.

  “I need your help,” Sebastian stated. “There are many places in the castle; this is one I want you to remember. If and when the time ever comes, I want you to know this place and know why.”

  Jacob surveyed the room. It was plain in appearance; its only remarkable attribute was the large wooded levers on the far wall. He assumed they had something to do with the tower’s defenses but could not say just how.

  “What is this place for?”

  “I will tell you, but we don’t have time right now. There are more important matters we must attend to … if you are willing?” Sebastian said.

  Jacob nodded his head, and Sebastian moved over to the corner of the room and knelt down to one of the stones.

  “Here is the stone that covers a passageway to this room and others. See if you can move it by yourself. It is heavy but not impossible. There are some small holes where you place your fingers to grip it from underneath.”

  Jacob felt along the edges of the stone that was almost three feet square. He found the holes and placed his fingers in them and felt finely made grooves where he could slide his fingers. With some finesse he pried the stone back.

  “Baldric spoke of a book, a book Constance left behind on top of the tower,” Sebastian said, looking to Jacob for confirmation. Jacob remembered finding the book there when he had gone back to survey the scene.

  “She must have dropped it when we were struggling.”

  “Where is it now?” Sebastian held Jacob’s eyes as if trying to read his mind or at least jog his memory. Jacob thought back, reviewing his movements over the last day’s events trying to sort through the excitement. His expression showed he had remembered.

  “I sat it down in the chapel with the crucifix. Do you think it could still be there?”

  Sebastian and Jacob were thinking the same thing: there was a chance Baldric had taken it when he was there in the room, but they had to be sure.

  “We must find that book. It could be nothing or it could be everything. Seldom do they carry something that is of little importance to them. For this reason he came and this reason alone. Clearly we must find it first.” Sebastian looked down the dark hole intently.

  Jacob’s eyes grew wide. He knew they had all gathered in only a few places for a reason--fewer places and larger groups gave them less exposure to potential attack. They obviously thought the castle could be infiltrated further tonight and were taking no chances.

  “The sun will be up in less than two hours,” Jacob reasoned. “Surely we can wait till then to look for it?”

  “Every hour, every minute we wait they are planning and remain one step ahead of us … four steps, maybe. If there is something in that book that could tip any favor to us, it may be the difference between victory and defeat,” Sebastian said. Jacob knew what he said was the grim truth and resigned himself to the mission.

  “Where does this go?” he asked, betraying no emotion.

  “It leads to several rooms; the place we want is one of the hubs for the corridors nearest to the Grand Staircase Hall. From there we will go to the chapel.”

  “Does this not lead to the chapel?” Jacob realized they would be out of the tunnel for a short distance, exposed and in potential harm’s way.

  “Yes,” Sebastian admitted.

  Jacob was confused. “Then why don’t we go there from here?”

  “Because that is the way Baldric probably went as well, and I do not wish to run into him that way,” Sebastian said.

  “Then isn’t there still a chance we could meet him or someone in there since they are connected?”

  “Yes,” Sebastian said evenly. He did not want to scare Jacob any more than he already had.

  “I knew you were going to say that. Damn, if we have to go, let’s get on with it. This is killing me just thinking about it.”

  Sebastian smiled. He knew the determination and courage it took for Jacob’s decision. Without a word he climbed down the hole and disappeared from sight, leaving Jacob alone in the room. Jacob sat there for a second, staring into the blackness that seemed to be calling to him unnaturally. He looked around the room where he did not feel welcome either sitting by himself. The choices were not very good ones in his eyes—fifty-fifty. At least if he went with Sebastian he might not die alone. Once again noticing he was not breathing, he took a deep breath to set himself into motion. Down into darkness he descended.

  ***

  Father Donovan walked over to Jessica, who was now sitting upright after her brother had left, feeling a little alone. He motioned to the space next to her; she nodded, and he sat down, trying to get comfortable on the mat, making various noises in the process. Jessica couldn’t help being amused at his antics, but quickly became more serious again and posed her question, which she knew he was waiting for.

  “Where did they go?”

  Father Donovan was indeed ready for the question though he did not answer right away. Such serious questions should be given a certain amount of respect and not answered lightly.

  “Your brother has gone on a small errand with Sebastian.”

  Jessica heard him all too clearly; the statement had been simple and to the point but that did not dull the seriousness she gleaned from his voice. She turned
her head and looked around the room, taking into account her surroundings.

  Father Donovan gave her time; he knew the brain needed time to sort through things.

  “They will return. If there is one thing that I am confident in, that would be Sebastian. Much has he been through in the course of his life.”

  “All I can think about is my dad. I can’t get him out of my mind.” Jessica’s face was strained as she looked here and there for answers.

  “You are not alone in your feelings, you know. I have heard these words before,” Father Donovan said compassionately. “Everyone here has been affected in similar ways as you and your brother. All have lost loved ones to them, which is why they are here.”

  Jessica thought again about the people she had briefly come to know and began to have more sympathy. She could connect herself with those around her, and that brought her some comfort. Her loss now did not seem greater than those around her because they had experienced the same.

  “How did you feel when you found out they actually existed?” he asked.

  “I felt like … I should be afraid of what was out there, that I had been lied to, and I wondered what else is there that I don’t know.”

  “Yes, yes, this is true,” Father Donovan acknowledged. “It is natural to feel afraid of something like this, which is hard to understand. The unknown will always leave you with a sense of fear.” He held up a finger and looked at her intently. “Now tell me how you felt after you discovered that they had taken your father?”

  Jessica thought for a moment before replying, “It didn’t matter that I was afraid of them. I didn’t want to run.”

  Father Donovan listened as she took her journey.

  “How does that help me, really?”

  “You take away some of their power when you cross that threshold. They are no longer something you are not sure of and are fearful of. Instead you are filled with determination and this drives the goodness in you—something they feel intensely.”

  “So what about the holy relics? How do they play into this?” she asked.

  Father Donovan nodded, realizing she was coming up with the right questions.

  “They are pieces of wood and metal and can only do so much on their own, but if they are used by someone who backs them up with faith, then they become weapons of a very different and deadly nature.”

  “What about Sebastian?”

  Father Donovan gave Jessica a puzzled look, not really making the connection.

  “How is he affected?” Jessica asked. Instantly Father Donovan understood.

  “You want to know if you will hurt him. Well, Sebastian is what he is and that is something we struggle to understand every day. He lives for what we know, outside of grace because of his existence, but he does feel the power of the holy presence. Not to the degree that the others are affected, but it is there.”

  Jessica looked down at her hands playing with the laces of her shoes in an attempt to keep occupied. She couldn’t help but feel an ache at the thought of causing him pain. The complexity of their relationship grew with every moment, it seemed.

  Able to read people better than most, Father Donovan knew a conflict was brewing in Jessica. Clearly she had some deep emotions when it came to their mutual friend. His heart grew heavy as his mind played out the almost-certain tragic end.

  “But there is more to this than I have told.”

  Jessica looked back at him wondering what more bad news might be coming to take her down an even longer and darker path, one she might not want to journey down, one she might want to forego for one that was easier traveling.

  Father Donovan scratched his beard and ran his hand through his hair, which always appeared slightly unkempt. He took on an appearance she recognized somehow. The more she thought about it, she suddenly realized he was the image of her father when he was about to give her some good news.

  “Sebastian also feels other things people feel when they are around him. Just because he is different does not mean he cannot feel the love from those who truly care about him. I would say he feels this more profoundly than most because he is who he is. And love, I would say, is much more powerful than anything else he will feel around us.

  “Sebastian is not an evil being. I want you to remember this above anything else. He has given more of himself to others than he has ever taken, and this is an especially holy trait, wouldn’t you say?

  “We sometimes forget that even though he looks young he has lived for what would be a couple of lifetimes for most who have lived good long lives. I believe that he is stuck somehow in that time when he was made. He does not act like someone who has lived for so long. He still has the mind of someone who is looking to tomorrow with the same innocence as a child whose imagination cannot be restricted,” Father Donovan said.

  “You can show him that tomorrow can be one to look forward to. Show him that the world can be good to one so out of its norm. I would say that would be a gift that would be cherished beyond all others.”

  “Surely that is why he goes on—he is surrounded by people who make him feel so loved. Why would anyone want to leave that?” She smiled broadly.

  Father Donovan looked around and gave a slight bow, accepting her bit of wisdom and adding it to his. He smiled wistfully.

  The old monk walked away and paced around the chamber for a minute, caught in another world. His shoulders slumped as if the weight of the world had now been transferred there. He looked at his watch and started pacing again.

  ***

  The tunnel was more than dark; it was what Jacob thought it must be like for someone who was blind. When he looked behind him there was nothing; before him was a faint glow. The light from the torch did not travel very far, and the tunnel itself seemed to drown the light until it was almost of no use. Still, he was happy for the sense of security.

  The corridor was narrow. The only sounds were the flickering of the flame and the small plopping noises their feet made since the floor was dotted with small puddles. Jacob wondered where this water came from, since the moat had been filled long ago. He was thankful his mind was working this way instead of focusing on the other potential scenarios, which as he considered them seemed much worse by a magnitude of one hundred.

  What would happen if they ran into one of them? His heart began to race, knowing that all would probably be lost. His skin went to goose pimples all over, and he felt a chill run up his spine. Jacob shook off the feeling and focused on Sebastian’s back, trying not to leave any space between them as they slowly worked their way down the tunnel.

  A hand rose in front of him and came to rest on his chest and the light went out. The tunnel, which had been dark before, now became an abyss. Jacob held his breath and the scream lingering on the edge of his tongue.

  Nothing moved; no sound came. There was just the hand pressed against him. Jacob was both reassured and scared to death by the touch and was not sure which emotion to go with. He had to trust in Sebastian.

  Had Sebastian stopped because they were now faced with someone blocking their way? Sebastian was very still, taking in all around them. Every step could bring them behind enemy lines. The castle couldn’t be trusted anymore, not at night. His home was now a battlefield, and the fight had just begun. The light ahead was dim, but to him the ray was a laser cutting through the blackness. He knew they had reached the next leg of their journey.

  The hand Sebastian had placed on Jacob’s chest remained. He had put it there to halt Jacob as silently and easily as possible. As Sebastian’s hand rested there, he felt the rhythm of Jacob’s heart. The beat had been hard and steady but quickened to a maddening pace. The pounding of Jacob’s heart was almost entrancing to Sebastian; he could feel the blood being forced through Jacob’s body with great intensity. He yearned to be one with that pounding; how long had it been since he had taken that which he wanted above all other things? His body ached for what it wanted. His face glowed with a dull redness. Sebastian moved closer to Jacob. His
face was so close to Jacob’s that he could feel the heat radiating from him.

  Jacob could feel Sebastian draw close to him, so close that he began to feel slightly uncomfortable. Sebastian lingered there. Jacob did not know what to do. With startling clarity, he remembered that Sebastian was, after all, a vampire and that he was alone in a dark tunnel with him.

  Sebastian felt the unease as Jacob withdrew slightly, and he implicitly knew his reaction was one of concern. Wanting to end the feeling for both he spoke softly.

  “We are there. From here we go up.”

  Jacob once again realized he wasn’t really breathing but did feel the breath of Sebastian in his ear. He inhaled, trying to relax, realizing his heart was beating so loudly that anyone around might actually be able to hear.

  Sebastian pulled Jacob by his shirt the rest of the way to a narrow staircase. They made their way up to what felt like a small closet where they stood quietly. With a small click Sebastian opened up a door and began to step out into the foyer area Jacob recognized. He very much wanted to stay in that closet for a little while longer but was being dragged every step of the way. On this side the door only appeared to be a panel. Jacob should have felt vindicated for all of his rants about secret passageways, but at the moment he did not feel like celebrating.

  Sebastian began to move along the walls, and Jacob followed. He soon realized the direction they were headed, and he wanted to cry just a little. They were headed for the Grand Staircase Hall. If there was one place in the castle he did not want to see at night, this was the place. At least there was the slightest light lingering here, not like in the tunnel. The sense of security was replaced with the feeling of being someplace foreign; even though he knew the place well, there was something new he could not place.

  They made their way to the entrance and stopped. There, once again, the room lay out before them and even as it appeared to be completely empty, the room actually danced with life as the shadows played on the floor and walls. Light and shadow came in from the large windows opening up to the night sky. It was like the floor to a ballroom where everyone moved to the sound of great music that only they could hear. Certainly these were the ghosts Jacob and his sister had come looking for and had just been too blind to recognize.