by Nikki Logan
Which was, of course, true. He’d been out of her life for years and hadn’t been anything but trouble to her before that. His presence this Christmas had more or less been foisted on her by Stuart. Why should he expect her to actually want to spend time with him? Hadn’t she made it clear that night with the cookies that she was only agreeing to come over to his house for Fizz’s sake?
So after helping her with the tree last night, he had retreated back to his house, which had seemed a lot less cozy than it had the other day. Today was Christmas Eve: the day of the parade. By the day after tomorrow he would be back in warm, sunny San Diego, and Ella would just be someone from his past.
Wouldn’t she?
He’d left a lot of people behind over the years. What was one more? Especially when she was looking for the perfect man and he was nowhere near perfect.
Still, she was all about duty, and she was convinced that her duty was to get him to the parade and make sure that he knew his part. So when the time was right, he strolled over to her house, pasting on his I don’t give a damn about anything grin.
All he had to do was stop thinking about Ella and everything would be fine. He’d be right back where he’d been before he got the call from Stu. Should be easy. A piece of cake.
Ella stepped through her front door, carrying Fizz in a basket.
Trey’s heart started booming around in his chest like some sort of weird electric drum stuck in the “on” position. She was wearing a red cloak with a hood, though she wasn’t wearing the hood. Her hair was loose and flowing down her back. She was carrying Fizz in a basket lined with some sort of fleecy blue and white snowflake blanket, and he had a red collar with a bell and a bow around his neck. She was beautiful; he was adorable.
And I’m in big trouble, Trey thought. This was the woman who wanted perfection in a man and in a relationship; this was the puppy who was going back to the shelter the day after tomorrow and who was no doubt going to be snatched up immediately.
Breathe—breathe, Trey. This...distress is just because it’s Christmas. Everyone gets wrapped up in very temporary sentiment at Christmas. But the day after Christmas arrives and all of that passes. Life returns to normal. By then you’ll be on your way to putting Ella and Fizz behind you. And glad of it, too. Just be nonchalant. Distant.
“You look beautiful,” he said.
She blinked. “You are a liar.”
“No, I’m not. Your hair...have I told you how much I’ve always liked your hair?” It was true, even though he’d never consciously thought of it when they were young. “It’s...” He reached out and curled a silky strand through his fingers, letting it slide against his skin. “It’s very...soft.” Like she was. He raised it to his face and breathed in. “And it smells like...” A smile lit his face. “Your hair smells like...Christmas!”
There was that pretty blush. “I used a Christmas-themed shampoo. It has a light balsam scent.”
And he was embarrassing her. And doing the exact opposite of what he’d planned. Trey felt like kicking himself. What was wrong with him?
“We should go,” he said out loud.
Ella nodded. “Stuart will be pacing if you’re late. The float can’t take off without you.”
“Oh, yes. The float. Somehow when Stu asked me to do this I thought I would just be walking down the street.”
“I know. I have to warn you there’s a hideous Christmas tree dead center, made out of hundreds of tissue paper flowers. And a...a sort of a throne for you to sit on.”
“A throne?”
“Well, it’s really a very big chair, but they’ve painted it gold. And actually painted the words Our Hero on it. I’m so sorry. I hope that you’re not regretting this too much. But they mean it in the very best way.”
Her last words came out a bit soft and whispery. She sounded so apologetic, so embarrassed, and so...worried that he was going to rebel that Trey immediately put his distaste for the idea aside.
“Well, in that case...if it’s gold...I’m all for it. What guy wouldn’t be?”
Now those pretty eyes snapped. Did eyes really snap? Ella’s seemed to. “Now you’re just mocking me.”
“Oh, no. I’m not, love. I never would. Right, Fizz?”
Fizz licked Trey’s thumb.
“I’ll take that as agreement,” he said, and held out his hand. “Come on, Ella. Let’s go win some points for Stu.”
She slid her arm through his and they turned toward the center of town, walking together as a couple for one of the last times.
When he saw the actual float he must have reacted a bit, flinched slightly, his muscles tightening and signaling his reaction to Ella.
“I did try to tell them to go light on the hometown Christmas hero theme,” she said.
Trey steeled himself to look at the gaudy float, decked out in Christmas red, white and green, with the gold throne and what looked to be a hundred banners that read, “Trey McFadden. Eagleton’s Best.”
“I’m going to have to do something about that,” he said. “Who made the float?”
“Mostly the ladies of the Eagleton Improvement Committee. A lot of them are old, but they love the town, and they want to bring it back from the brink. They love Stu, and they love that an Eagleton boy owns a company that’s been written about in the leading financial newspapers. None of them care that you were rebellious when you were young. They’re just glad you made something of yourself.”
Her voice was so soft and earnest. She had her hand on his arm and was looking up at him with those big, pleading eyes. He leaned down and kissed her on the lips. Just once.
“Don’t worry. I’ll try to do Eagleton and the ladies—and you—proud.”
With that, Trey took his place on the garish throne. Someone gave the signal and the driver started the engine and moved the float toward its place in line. The strains of an instrumental version of “Deck the Halls” began to play.
Ella and Fizz began to disappear into the distance. Just as they would in actual fact much too soon.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“DON’T FORGET TO wave,” Ella called.
Fizz gave a little woof and then a whine.
“I know, Fizz. It feels symbolic, doesn’t it? Watching him ride away from us?”
Fizz whimpered again, and Ella reminded herself that her time with the puppy was running short, too. She’d been a fool to let her heart flip over for these two males in her life, but there was nothing she could do about that.
Except paste on a phony smile and pretend she was okay with losing them.
That was just what she was going to do. No one, especially not Trey, was ever going to know how much she longed for him. She, who had always wanted the perfect love, had fallen for the worst man, the least perfect match for her, years ago, and she loved him still.
That little tidbit just appeared in her thoughts, and to her dismay she wasn’t a bit surprised. But it wasn’t the first time she’d shared a one-sided relationship with the most wanted man in Eagleton. Hopefully she still remembered how to play the part.
No, strike that thought. Hopefully she would play her part better this time. The last time she had messed up royally. Surely that couldn’t happen again.
A short time later Ella almost felt that she was back in control of her emotions. She was so busy running here and there, making sure that the bands and the floats fed in at the appropriate place in time, pinning costumes that had gotten ripped, and making sure that the cleanup committee was ready to sweep away any errant streamers, tinsel or glitter when the parade was over that she didn’t have much time to even think.
Finally, however, things settled and she was able to line up along the parade route and enjoy the spectacle. In the distance she could see the Grand Marshall’s float approaching. The crowds were strung out and,
Eagleton being as small as it was, she still had a good view. Trey sat in the throne long enough to let the Eagleton Improvement Committee see that he had made use of it. Then he stood and started waving to the crowd.
People cheered and waved back.
Haley Snow, one of the women from the Eagleton Improvement Committee, settled in next to Ella. “What a handsome man, don’t you think?”
Ella glanced at her. “Yes.” What else could she say? There was no denying the truth. But, Ella thought, Haley looked entirely too interested in Trey. And not just as a hometown hero, either.
But then Haley noticed Fizz. “Oh, you brought that cute little puppy! Can I hold him?”
Ella hesitated. Fizz wasn’t on a leash...and she liked holding him herself. She wouldn’t get to do it for much longer. But Haley was looking at her eagerly, and the truth was that she wouldn’t have Fizz much longer. There wasn’t a good reason to be greedy.
Reluctantly, she took Fizz out of his basket and handed him over. She gave him a quick pat and a reassuring glance.
“Hey, Trey, lookin’ good,” someone called.
Ella looked up to see that Trey’s float had moved much closer. She gazed up at him, hoping that no one could see the longing in her eyes.
“Trey, over here,” someone else called.
Trey waved in the direction of the voice.
“Ella, this is a fantastic parade,” someone yelled out. “But you should have put the pup up on the float with Trey. Nothing looks better than a big man like him holding a puppy, don’t you think?”
“Well, how about Ella herself getting up on that float with Trey? After all, she planned the whole parade.”
“Yes. Come on, Ella.”
As a few other people took up the chant Ella looked helplessly up at Trey, who turned to look at her and almost lost his balance as the vehicle sped up slightly.
“What do you think, Trey?” someone asked.
“About what?”
That was all it took. Those two words. At the sound of Trey’s voice Fizz started whining and bucking in Haley’s arms.
“Fizz, hold still,” Ella said, reaching for him. “We’ll go see Trey.”
But Fizz knew how to squirm with the best of them, and Haley lost her grip. He dove. Fortunately when he’d started squirming Haley had apparently anticipated disaster, and had lowered him enough so that his leap to the ground didn’t hurt him. Instead he rolled, got to his legs, and started running toward Trey.
“Fizz! Trey!” Ella yelled, afraid that the little puppy would end up under the wheels of the vehicle.
She and Trey both started forward at the same time—Trey running to the side of the swaying float and Ella running toward it.
With a leap, Trey jumped free of the float, whirled and scooped Fizz up—just as he was about to start dancing far too near one of the wheels. The float kept moving. Ella’s heart was in her throat, and it must be in her eyes, too. No telling what she looked like. Trey looked...very pale.
When Ella and Trey had yelled, people down at the other end of the street had rushed down to see what was wrong. Now the crowd was all in one place, people were being pushed, and someone nearly got hit by a motorcycle in the parade. People were yelling.
“Fizz?” Ella whispered, looking toward the puppy as people pressed in on them.
“I’ve got him,” Trey told her. “He’s safe—aren’t you, boy?”
Fizz’s response was to try to lick Trey’s face. Still shaky, Ella felt her heart break all over again, looking at the eager puppy and the man together. They looked so...right.
“That’s enough.” Stu’s booming voice broke through the crowd as he walked among them. “Nothing to worry about. Just a puppy making a break for it. It’s over now. Let’s all get back to celebrating. Michael, you clear that motorcycle out of here. Alan, let’s get everyone back to the curb. Margery, let’s have some Christmas music, some singing. Let’s get this parade rolling. You two okay?”
Ella nodded. “Thank you for that, Stu. I’m supposed to be doing that job.”
“Well, no one’s going to blame you for being otherwise occupied. You can’t be everywhere at one time, Ella.”
“Listen to Stu,” Trey told her with a smile. “He’s a wise man. Most of the time. Except when he gets some crazy idea in his head about bringing back relatives to ride in his parade.”
Stu chuckled. “And I expect you to fulfill the rest of your duties. You and Ella.”
“Oh, we will. Come on,” Trey said, taking her hand.
“Where?”
He nodded toward the float that had stopped just up ahead. Order had been restored, but the entire parade had halted. “Still two blocks to go, and everyone, including Fizz here, seems to think we all belong up there together.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
“I thought you were committed to making this the greatest Christmas Festival ever?”
“I am, but—”
“Tell her, Stu.”
Stu laughed. “You think she listens to me? She orders me around. Ask them.” He nodded toward the townspeople.
“An excellent idea. What do you say?” Trey called out to the crowd. “Should we talk Ella onto the float?”
A cheer went up. “Sure. She’s been working her tail off behind the scenes. Put her up there, where we can all see her and give her a cheer!”
Trey handed Fizz to the nearest person. “Do not let him get away. I’ll be right back,” he said. Then he reached out for Ella, lifted her up onto the float and then, retrieving Fizz, joined her up there. The music started again. The float lurched. Trey wrapped one arm around Ella to keep her from falling. “Now, smile and wave, love,” he whispered against her hair. “Enjoy the ride.”
She didn’t answer.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
She nodded slightly. With Trey’s lips against her hair and his arm around her waist she was in heaven.
“Thanks, Fizz,” he said.
She glanced up at him. “What are you thanking him for?”
He chuckled. “It was lonely up here alone. And a bit embarrassing. Sharing is so much nicer, don’t you think?”
She did. She even allowed herself to lean into his touch. Was that a groan emanating from Trey? It must be her imagination or the gears of the car. It didn’t matter. For the next block she was in Trey’s arms.
* * *
WHEN THE PARADE was over, and the final festivities had ended, Trey dreaded taking Ella home. Time was flitting by too quickly. But it had to be done. They retrieved Fizz’s basket and walked toward her house.
“Thank you for saving him,” she said. “I can’t believe I’ve let him escape twice in just a few days. A person like me shouldn’t even be allowed near a puppy.”
Trey chuckled.
“I mean it,” she said. “A responsible owner would have had him on a leash.”
“Then he would have gotten stepped on by the crowd, or been choked when he made his dive out of Haley’s arms.”
“You know what I mean. I wasn’t paying attention. I was a bad—”
He stopped and turned to face her. He put one finger over her lips. “Shh. Don’t say it.”
Just the pad of his finger was against her soft lips, but even that slight contact made him want to sweep her into his arms and kiss her full-on. Hold her. Make love with her.
That did it. He retreated, continued walking. Try for something light, he ordered himself. Something that didn’t involve touching her or wanting her.
“I have employees with toddlers,” he said. “Several of them have told horror stories about their little ones slipping away unnoticed, or climbing on things when their parents’ backs were turned. Some of them have had things like that happen several times.
One of them even started a website where parents could share their horror stories and discuss solutions. They all feel as if they’re terrible parents, but the truth, as I’ve been told by my older employees, is that you can make things as safe as is humanly possible and things like that will still happen.”
Silence. They were walking up the path to her house.
“Ella?”
She turned to him in the light of the porch. And she was smiling.
“What? Did I tell a joke? Did I convince you not to blame yourself for Fizz’s brief foray as an escape artist?”
“You made me feel better,” she confessed. “You don’t know a thing about kids. And yet you made it sound as if you were an expert. I know you were just trying to soothe me. That’s so sweet, Trey.”
And with no warning she rose on her toes and planted a kiss on his cheek.
It was a friendly kiss, a nothing kiss. Maybe that made it worse. Because she was going to let it end here and now without any regrets, while he had regrets by the basketful.
“I’m leaving tomorrow,” he said.
She blinked. “I thought... Tomorrow is Christmas Day. You can’t be serious.”
“Never more. I came here for Stu’s festival. The festival is over.”
“Where—what do you do on Christmas?”
“I have dinner with friends.”
It was what he had done for the past few years and it had always been enough. Now it wasn’t. He wanted to spend it with Ella. But that wasn’t going to happen. Ella wanted a perfect marriage. She’d told him that she hadn’t met the man who could be her perfect man. The fact that he was even bothered by that... It was time to go. All this Christmas festivity was making him think crazy thoughts. He needed to be gone.
“How about you?” he asked.
“Friends,” she agreed. “And then home to bed and a good book.”
The thought of Ella in bed made him think more crazy thoughts. He should leave right now.
“If this is goodbye,” he said, “let me come inside. I have some things to tell you.”
He wasn’t even sure what those things were. He felt as if he had a thousand things to say to her, that he could keep talking with her forever and never want to be apart from her. That was ridiculous, wasn’t it? It was just because she was pretty and because she cared about people. Because she’d once tried to defend him and he’d made her cry and he still hated the thought that it had taken him ten years to apologize. This time when he left he wanted to do it right.