by W. J. May
Rae slipped the letters inside her coat and slid off the bench to walk.
You can’t undo the past, Rae. Her uncle’s words jeered at her as she plodded further down the path. She wished her uncle was standing right in front of her so she could scream at him. She’d curse just about anyone right now.
Glaring up to the encroaching darkness, Rae checked her watch and realized dinnertime had already started. She felt like skipping the evening meal, heading back to her room and locking the door to have a good cry. The idea of trying to hold a conversation with anyone filled her with dread.
Swearing, she turned around to head back to the dorms. With her birthday only days away, now was definitely not the time to show the professors anything might be amiss. The last thing she needed was more of them breathing down her neck, constantly monitoring her every move. She pounded the ground with each step, getting angrier and more frustrated by the moment.
Exiting the forest, she made a conscience effort to take some deep breaths. She focused on putting that anger deep inside, to use at another time. She needed to act like everything was perfectly fine by the time she got to the Refectory. Counting to five with each inhalation and exhalation, she willed herself to relax. She ran her fingers under her eyes and checked to make sure no mascara had run down or smudged.
By the time she reached the Refectory, she appeared physically calm. She nipped inside, quickly hanging her coat up before checking the seating chart. Relieved to be sitting at Andy and Devon’s table tonight, it would save trying to make conversation with Molly or trying to avoid Maria’s worried gaze.
She tried to walk inconspicuously into the hall but could feel eyes of the professors and students turn toward her. She smiled at Headmaster Lanford, determined to hide her true emotions. He nodded back, and then returned to his meal. Rae slid into the empty seat between Andy and Devon and reached for a bun. She put all her concentration into lathering it with butter.
“You’re a bit late tonight,” Andy commented.
“I went for a walk and lost track of time.” She could feel Andy stiffen as he glanced up toward the door. She followed his gaze and watched Riley enter the dining hall.
“Did you walk alone?”
“Andy! Give her a break. It’s none of your business.” Devon leaned behind Rae, punching Andy in the shoulder. Andy gave him a dirty look but grinned sheepishly at Rae.
“Sorry,” he said.
“No biggie.” Rae shrugged. “I got a letter from my uncle.”
“Everything okay?”
Rae grimaced at the concern in Devon’s voice.
“Yeah,” she lied. “He sent a card to wish me a happy birthday and hoped everything’ll go all right on the day.”
“It’ll be the best day of your life.” Andy hugged her shoulders, seeming reluctant to remove his arm to eat. Rae sighed, wishing he meant it as a comforting gesture, but knowing that it was a possessive move meant more for everyone who was looking than for her. She felt like a pawn in this little game the boys played with her. But as of yet she couldn’t find a way out of it that didn’t include breaking their hearts and making her position at Guilder worse than it was.
Toward the end of dinner, Devon asked if she still wanted to get together for a tutoring session. He seemed preoccupied, so she offered him an out, saying they could resume again on Thursday. She certainly wasn’t in any state to be alone with him anyway.
Devon got up to leave as soon as the meal concluded. Rae wasn’t far behind. She slipped her coat back on, instantly feeling for the letters inside her right pocket. She panicked when she couldn’t find them. Grappling into her other coat pocket, she sighed with relief when she felt the soft paper material.
She scratched her head as she walked outside, sure she’d stuffed them into her right pocket, not the left. A large gust of wind shook her thoughts. Pulling her coat tightly around her to avoid the cool wind, she rushed to get inside the warmth of her dormitory.
It felt like forever before her wristwatch finally read nine and she could fake a yawn and big stretch as a show to Molly. “I’m exhausted. It feels like it’s been a really long day.” Which did hold some truth to it. “Molls, do you mind if we cut the lights out early?”
Molly sat at her desk, with two textbooks open and a spiral pad full of writing. “Really? I’ve got a report due tomorrow and I just started.”
Rae’s spirits dropped. She didn’t have the brain power tonight to try and argue.
Molly must have seen the look on Rae’s face. She dog eared the textbooks and began tossing stuff into her backpack. “I can go down to the library and finish this. I’ll use the computers there since mine’s still broke.” She moved to the door. “‘Night.”
Rae made a trip to the bathroom to brush her teeth and shower, all the while thinking of her mother, her sorrow, her situation and her roommate, who was turning out to be entirely more considerate than she had ever imagined. Guilt mixed with her pain, swirled her emotions into turmoil. She crawled into bed and, thankfully, drifted into oblivion before her tears flooded her pillow.
The next few days passed at a snail’s pace. The boys, as she had persisted in thinking of them, were miraculously leaving her alone, for once. She spent some quality time with Molly, making her guilt over hiding things from her roomy lessen just a bit. Even the depression over her mother’s letter began to disappear as her birthday drew closer. Happy when Thursday evening finally rolled around, Rae began to get excited to meet up with Devon. It would make the night pass quicker. Then she could head off to bed to wake up for her “secret” birthday. Opening the library door, she noticed him already waiting in their usual spot.
“Hey, how you doin’?” she whispered when she got to the table.
“I’m all right. How ‘bout you?” He grinned. “Only a few more sleeps ‘til your birthday. Anxious?”
“Anxious isn’t the word.” Rae rolled her eyes as she plopped into her seat across from him. “I’ve no idea how anybody survives this. I’ve only known about this since September. You guys’ve known basically all your lives. How is it none of you ended up in the loony bin?”
Devon threw his head back and laughed. Madame Elpis peeked in the door from the foyer outside Aumbry’s library to shoot them a dower look and shushed them, which only made Devon’s shoulders shake harder.
He finally calmed down enough to answer her. “Your comment had me picturing a large group of tatùed people in some psych ward. Could you imagine what the other patients would say?” He grinned. “They’d be telling tales of wolves and bears, or seeing people walk through walls. The psych doctors would keep them under lock and key.” He started chuckling again. “Then Madame Elpis shushed me. Could you imagine her in a psych ward?”
Rae had to hold her belly to try to keep from laughing aloud. It felt awesome since she hadn’t done it in a while. Once the moment was over, they sat quiet, smiling at each other. She gathered her courage to ask Devon something that had been bothering her since she’d read her mother’s letter.
“Devon? What d’you know about the fire?”
He looked at Rae, surprised at her sudden seriousness. He stared down at his fingers, drawing imaginary circles on the desk. After a few moments, he slowly lifted his head.
“The house fire killed your parents, and really should’ve taken you as well, but it didn’t. There’s no record of what actually happened – just that you were saved and the two other people inside the house died. Somehow you managed to escape. I’d guess it probably had something to do with your mom.” Devon shrugged his shoulders.
“I think so, too. In fact, I’m positive my mom had something to do with the fire.”
Devon’s face registered shock.
Rae gushed on, before losing her courage. “My mom made me go outside before it happened. She told me to go play in the tree house and she’d come get me. She sent me outside.
“Maybe you’re right. I only know fleeting stories and bits of adult conversation from the
week it happened. I’ve read the newspaper articles but that was a long time ago. Why the sudden interest? Is it because your birthday’s around the corner?”
She debated making something up but decided the truth would be much easier than lying.
“I got a letter from my uncle and inside was a letter my mom wrote ten years ago. She asked my uncle to give it to me on my sixteenth birthday.”
“Oh…Umm…Do you want to tell me about it?” Rae watched him run his hands along the table, his knuckles pure white. He seemed more nervous than she felt. How odd, and sweet.
“Yes…No…I don’t know. There’s nothing secretive inside, or some hidden message.” She shrugged, not sure what to say. “It’s just weird she’d know to write a letter…like she knew something might happen.” Rae stared at her hands. “It just makes sense – her ink was a sun, and the sun’s made of fire…” The conclusion seemed so obvious now. But she just couldn’t finish the sentence.
Devon paused, biting his lower lip. “It’s possible. Everyone assumes your father started it and your mother was the casualty. Is it really important to you now?” He stared intently into Rae’s eyes. “What’s bothering you, if the letter isn’t so bad?”
Rae sighed and picked imaginary bits out of her clean nails. It seemed he knew how to read her without even trying. Glancing up, she quietly said, “I want to know my father’s gift. Or curse, if you want to look at it that way.”
“You’ve seen a picture of his ink, the male version of a witch – like a warlock or sorcerer. He was unique.” Devon ran his fingers through his hair. “Has no one explained this to you?”
Seeing her shake her head, he continued, “He could mimic other people’s gifts.”
“Mimic?” Rae’s eyebrows shot up.
“He had the ability to copy the ink of other people, do what they could do. You know, use their tatù.” Devon stared intently at her, as if waiting for her reaction to the news.
“You mean he could copy your ink or if he wanted to, he could turn around and copy Andy’s?”
“He had to come in contact with a tatùed person in order to imitate their gift.”
“So he could do anything then?”
“Kind of. He could copy their ink, but if he touched someone else, he’d then take over the power of that tatù. He wasn’t able to retain a gift to use again. Great power, but it still had its limits.” Devon’s eyes met her gaze and didn’t waver. “Does that make sense? Maybe Headmaster Lanford can explain it better.”
“I get what you’re saying.” Holy crap. I DO get it. “If my father wanted more power or to use his ink to his advantage, he’d need a lot of people around him so he could use their tatùs.” Rae’s mind swirled as memories pushed forward. “I remember he never seemed to be on his own. He told me the people with him were his bodyguards.”
Devon shrugged and stared at his hands. “I only know what I learned here, so I don’t know much about him. My father was assigned to watch him once so he knows a lot more than me. Sorry I’m not much help.”
“Dev, you’re a huge help! You’ve been a great friend and I’m lucky to have you mentoring me. You have no idea how much you’ve taught me already.” Gushing on as she was, Rae almost let it slip that her birthday was tomorrow. She bit her tongue just as Madame Elpis opened the library door and in a voice worthy of a drill sergeant, suggested it was time for them to finish for the evening.
Without saying a word, Devon and Rae gathered their books and walked toward the library doors, trying to hide their amused smiles. She paused halfway there and turned to him once more.
“Hey, is everything all right with you? You haven’t seemed yourself the past few days. We spend so much time talking about my past and ink-history I sometimes don’t even ask how you’re doing.” She put her hand on his arm as she spoke. Her palm tingled where their skin met, and she felt the energy of it running all the way up her arm.
He gave her his signature dimpled smile. “I’m all right. There’s some stuff I’m dealing with, but everything’s going to be fine. Just concentrate on yourself for the next few days and hurry up and get that tatù so we can start seeing the crazy things you get to do.” He patted her shoulder. “I’m not sure anymore who’s more curious to find out, you or me!”
“You’ll be one of the first to know, aside from Dean Carter, who has me staying in the Infirmary the night before. After I’m tested and prodded like some lab rat, I’ll let you know.”
“It won’t be that bad. The school wants to help you.”
“Yeah, so I can ask any questions I might have. Right. It’s only so they can monitor my ink. I think they’re worried I’m going to morph into my father the minute I’m inked.” Rae smiled half-heartedly, trying to make a feeble joke of the situation.
“Guilder tends to know what’s best for us, so it must be a good idea, then. Not the turning into your father part but helping you out with your ink.”
“Probably.” It irked her the way he always agreed with, and followed, what Guilder thought was right.
“Madame Elpis is about to open the door again. Let’s get outta here.”
“G’night, Devon.”
He paused. “Good night, Rae.”
It would be a good night, life-changing in her opinion. It just sucks I’ve got no one to share it with.
Chapter 14
Gifting
Trying to fall asleep knowing what would happen seemed next to impossible. Rae had empathy for what Molly had gone through back in September. She wished she could talk to her now. But Molly lay snoring on her bed, and Rae had no intentions of waking her. Instead, she lay buried in her sheets, thinking about Devon’s knowledge of her father. As she grew drowsy, her thoughts stayed on Devon and she fell asleep dreaming about him. It turned out to be a night full of vibrant and pleasant dreams.
Rae felt herself waking and tried to will sleep to pull her back down. She liked her current dream. It was vague but nice. The feeling of Devon being beside her, his hand warm on her lower back, keeping her safe. She wanted to enjoy the feeling a few moments longer. However, sleep didn’t return, and the dream slipped out of her grasp. Lifting her head to check the time, she suddenly remembered what day it was.
Tempted to jump off the bed and rush to the mirror, she had to fight to control herself. Rae settled for trying to tell if anything felt different inside her. She started cataloguing every twinge, twitch and pulse searching for something that might stand out.
Molly’s alarm stopped her train of thought. She watched Molly, still lying prone on the bed with her eyes closed, hit the nightstand and then the wall with the back of her hand.
The light went on without the switch even being touched. Impressed, Rae realized Molly was getting better with using her ink. The last time she’d tried that trick she’d blown out all the fuses in the building. Madame Elpis went around with crazy hair that day because she couldn’t use her hair dryer to tame it. Since all the other residents of Aumbry house had been in the same predicament, no one had laughed. Molly had gone on about her business as if nothing were wrong. The memory made Rae smile.
Molly groaned and slowly sat up, rubbing her face. Rae quickly shut her eyes and pretended to still be asleep. She heard Molly stumble to the closet and grab her toiletries. Something heavy and soft landed on Rae’s bed, followed by an “oops.” She must’ve dropped her towel and brushed against Rae’s arm as she picked it up. Molly flipped the light switch off and shut the door.
In a flash, Rae hopped out of bed, grabbing the wall to steady herself. She flinched when she got a shock and blinked at the sudden brightness. Dummy! I hit the light switch. She rubbed her eyes. No worries. The better to see my new ink with.
Dashing to the closet, she swung the door open to the full-length mirror. She lifted her pajamas as she turned. She stared in stunned silence.
The tatù was there all right, and quite large – bigger than the other girls’ inks she’d seen. It spread across most of her lower back. On h
er pale, white skin lay a beautiful, unique figure with…Rae squinted to see an outline behind the ink…wings. A fairy etched in hues of pink, purple and green with glittery sparkles on the dress and wings. How in the world did it sparkle? She’d never seen anyone’s tatù glitter before?
Rae craned her neck to see it again. Below the inked girl lay an ornate design with Celtic detail and small circles with wiggly lines. Excitement flowed through her veins. They were miniature suns, part of her mom’s ink!
The tatù looked totally awesome. Not scary at all. It wasn’t some witch or warlock or sorcerer. Hers was delicate…tender. Like a fairy.
She spun around and spoke to her image in the mirror. “The sins of the father are not the sins of this daughter. I might not be able to undo the past, but I’m not being punished for something my father did!” She did a happy dance, wiggling her butt and moving her arms alternately in a pumping motion.
Today was the best day of her life. Nothing could ruin it – no proverb of truth, no Friday the thirteenth, nothing. Finally, my birthday, my tatù!
Now, she just needed to figure out how to use it. She had less than forty-eight hours before she’d have to pretend it was her birthday all over again.
Rae stopped dancing and stood perfectly still in the middle of the room. Closing her eyes, she lifted her arms and focused on every feeling inside of her, trying to determine if something felt different. She sensed a quiet buzz but wasn’t sure if it was coming from the room or inside her. “Probably just the hum in my ears from the excitement.”
A light tingling in the tips of her fingers caught her attention. Different than when your hand falls asleep, but she couldn’t figure out just how. Going back to the mirror, she took another look at the tatù.
Definitely a fairy, wings and all. Hmm…wings… Maybe she could fly or levitate. Shutting her eyes tight, she focused her thoughts on flying and slowly opened one eye to see if she’d floated off the ground.
Nothing. Not even a hint of fluttering or flying. She sighed, running her fingers through her hair. She had no idea what she could do or how to do it. If only she’d told Devon about today. At least someone could help her figure it out.