by W. J. May
He opened his mouth then closed it, setting it into a tight, thin line.
Rae let out a long, slow breath, trying to release the tension still tight in her throat. Impulsively she reached out but stopped herself. She dropped her arm, turned and walked away from the guy she had thought was the most important person in her life.
Outside of the station she ran to Julian’s car. She slammed the door shut and buried her face in her hands. Normal girls in the normal world would go call their best friend and/or mother, and sob into pints of ice cream to get over a broken heart. As far as Rae knew, girls in the tatù world did the same. Her problem was that she wasn’t quite in either world. She couldn’t tell anyone she’d just been dumped. Her best friend didn’t know, couldn’t know, that she had been dating Devon. She didn’t have a mom to wrap her arms around her and tell her everything would be okay. She had only had Devon, but now, she had no one.
It hurt. More than any physical pain she’d ever endured. Whoever said that there was life after love, lied. They’d lied big time and no healing tatù was going to fix it.
Chapter 5
Denial
Rae knew the five stages of grief. She had gone through the whole process with a therapy counselor when her mom and dad had died. She had been six.
This, weirdly, felt the same. The end of their relationship felt like she was experiencing a death, of sorts. It just seemed surreal. Could she have dreamt it?
She forced Julian’s sports car into the next gear and muttered the stages, “Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.” As a child, she had skipped the bargaining phase. She had been too young to understand the concept, so she had gone straight to accepting the loss, but it had taken years due to the horrific events. Now, she had to go through the stages all over again. It felt so unfair. “This is bull!” she yelled at the un-cooperating, grinding gearshift.
It couldn’t be happening. This had to be a bad dream. They had barely just started. She loved him. No way he didn’t feel the same! Something had to be up. Maybe the Privy Council had found out and told him to end it. “That has to be it,” she whispered to herself. She would talk to him when he got back. Or maybe sooner.
She glanced down for her phone. How soon was too soon? She didn’t want to appear desperate, but losing him wasn’t an option.
A car horn honked behind her and she realized the light had turned green. She pressed the gas and gunned the car through the intersection. The clock radio said she had about thirty minutes before she had to meet Jennifer for training. Angrily she wiped the tears coursing down her cheeks. She shouldn’t be crying.
This was her fault; her family, her curse. It seems she was always destined to lose what she held most dear, one way or another.
She pulled the car into an empty parking space and went through her purse for a tissue. She blew her nose and concentrated on her breathing. Red eyes and wet nose would only invite questions and attention. No freakin’ way! I’ve had enough of that! She wiped her eyes one more time, checked the mirror to make sure her mascara had not turned her into a raccoon and tuned into the healing tatù. It wouldn’t fix her heart, but it might fix her red eyes, puffy nose and the headache trying to crack her skull open.
Amazingly, it worked. Molly had bought her makeup and the mascara was probably waterproof. She had never bothered to check. Trust Molly to think ahead enough to buy waterproof mascara. Her stomach growled. The bowl of cereal she had downed that morning before stealing back her father’s journal had long ago been burned off. The journal! That bloody thing only brings bad luck! She needed to get that thing out of her room! She bent down and glanced out the passenger window. She had parked right in front of a café.
Grabbing the keys and her purse, she inhaled one last time and shook her head. The cool air would dry whatever tears she’d missed on her cheeks.
She ran into the café casually clicking the button on the key ring that would lock the car. Julian wouldn’t be too impressed if she got his expensive sports car stolen.
“That’s yours? Impressive!”
Rae glanced down her arm and realized her fingers were inches away from someone’s head. The head belonged to a boy with a long, muscular body. Hello eye candy. That’s what Molly called cute guys. The boy had light brown, almost blonde, brush cut hair. It was so thick, she wondered for a moment if his scalp actually got wet when he showered or swam. She blinked and forced the silly thought out of her head. “It’s actually a friend’s. He let me borrow it.”
The boy turned around. Hazel green eyes met her gaze. They slid over her very quickly before meeting hers again. “Your boyfriend is very trusting.” He rested his right arm on the back of his chair as he grinned at her. He had to be close to her age. Fitting term that…eye candy.
No, my boyfriend just dumped me ten minutes ago. Well gee, can’t say that. Out of habit, Rae glanced down to see if he had a tatù. There were tattoos on his arms, but none of them were a tatù. Nothing. “He’s actually not my boyfriend. Just a friend.”
The good-looking boy chuckled. “Then he desperately wants to be your boyfriend.”
Julian? No way. “I highly doubt it. He’s more like an older brother.”
“Does he know you feel that way?” The boy grinned.
She smiled, despite her horrible morning. His humor was contagious. “Definitely.”
He rose and held his hand out to her. “I’m Luke, by the way.”
She checked his arm again before shaking it. He seemed friendly and honest, but she wasn’t about to trust a perfect stranger. The only tingle she felt came from the small shock when she touched his skin. His hand was warm and firm in hers. “I’m Rae.”
He blinked, as if confused she had a boy’s sounding name. “Unique name. Very cool. It’s nice to meet you, Rae. And your car.” He winked and pointed to his empty cup. “I’m about to grab another cuppa. Can I get you something?”
“Are you in the habit of offering strangers something to drink?”
He didn’t miss a beat. “Only beautiful ones my age who drive fast cars.”
She laughed. “Thanks, but I can get my own.” She walked to the short line and Luke followed her. She read the menu options and glanced at him from the corner of her eye.
He stood, his hands in his pockets, grinning, not even trying to hide the fact that he was watching her.
His boldness tickled her. She pretended to ignore him. After ordering a coffee and croissant to go, Rae paid and turned to leave.
Luke touched her elbow. “Can you wait a sec?”
Rae glanced at her watch. “I’m in a bit of a rush.”
He smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry. I…I…” He cracked one of his knuckles. “You don’t know me and I have no idea who you are… I just…” He sighed and then straightened. “Screw it,” he mumbled to himself, but Rae heard him clearly. “Can I give you my number? I’m not some crazy stalker. I promise!” He chuckled. “Though I kinda sound like one at the moment.” He grabbed a receipt off the counter that someone must have left, and found a pen. He wrote down his number and handed it to her. “Here. Toss it or keep it or whatever. I would just regret it the rest of my life if you walk out of here and I didn’t give it to you.”
Rae stared at him. Could this day get any crazier? “Thanks.” She didn’t know what else to say. Awkward. She slipped the receipt in her pocket and headed for the door. She glanced out the car window at the café before driving away. Luke sat at his table with his hand on his forehead, shaking his head like what he had just done embarrassed him. Poor guy.
Her phone vibrated inside her pocket. She grabbed for it. Maybe Devon wanted to beg her to forget everything he had said. She set the phone on the holder Julian had installed in the car so it would be hands free.
The phone picked the call up before she had a chance to check the caller id.
“Rae! Where are you?” Molly spoke with a froggy voice, like she had just woke.
“I’m on my way to train
ing.”
“With the Privy Council?” Molly was the only one, besides Julian and Devon, who knew she had signed a contract to work with them. She blew an exasperated breath into the phone, it sputtered against the expensive speakers of Julian’s car. “Is this going to be every weekend now?”
“It might be. I have no idea what the set-up’s going to be. I’m probably going to be pretty crazy busy till the end of the school year.”
Molly sighed. “Tell them you need to spend time with your best friend.”
Rae smiled. “I don’t know how understanding they’ll be.” She took a sip of her coffee and Luke’s image popped into her head. She couldn’t tell Molly Devon had just broken up with her, but she could mention the boy without a tatù. It would make Molly’s day. “You’ll be proud of me.”
“Why?”
She forced the image of Devon out of her head and tried to remember exactly what Luke looked like. The more she tried, the more he looked like Devon. “A super cute guy just gave me his phone number.”
Rae cringed when a loud crash bounced through the speakers. Molly jumped back on the line. “Sorry, I dropped the phone. I was that shocked! Where did you meet him? Not at Guilder, I hope. He doesn’t have a tatù, does he? Did you get a picture? Send it to me right now!”
Rae turned the car into a gated driveway. She flashed her new badge at the screen and the large cast iron gates began sliding open. The drive looked like it led to a mansion house but just as the drive veered to the right for the house, there was a small, nearly hidden gravel drive that led to the left. Rae followed the gravel and waited patiently as Molly continued to drill questions without letting Rae respond. She knew it would wind down eventually.
“Well, who is he?”
“I grabbed a coffee and he was there. His name’s Luke.”
“Where does he go to school? Or is he older?”
Rae glanced in her review mirror. No one had followed her. She wasn’t sure why she thought someone might have. The Privy Council had surveillance everywhere. No one could get in here without proper accreditation. “He’s about our age. Maybe a year or two older. Julian let me borrow his car this morning, and when I walked into the café Luke made a comment about the car. He asked if it was my boyfriend’s.” Just saying the word made her think of Devon again and her heart hurt. She wished there was a tatù to turn off emotions.
“And you told him you were single, right? Thank goodness. I was beginning to think you were either going to enter a monastery or start pining after Devon. I mean, I know you guys have some weird, close relationship, but I figured no way you’d ever go down that road.”
Rae stared at the phone. Thank goodness Molly couldn’t see her face. She quickly started babbling so Molly couldn’t mention Devon again. Then the rest of Molly’s words clicked and she laughed. “I think you meant convent. Women go to a convent and become nuns. Men go to a monastery and become monks.”
“Really? You sure?”
She’d just magically breezed by the Devon confrontation with Molly. “Positive. Anyways, as I was leaving he gave me his number. He said he would regret it the rest of his life if he didn’t give it to me.”
“He’s either very cheesy or very sweet. Considering you are mentioning him to me, I’m thinking the latter.” Molly sighed, a different sound to her usual one. “He sounds like a hopeless romantic. When are you going to call him?”
“I don’t know. I wa—”
“You know for sure he doesn’t have a tatù, right? I don’t want the guy to be another Kraigan, or worse.”
Holy smokes, Molls. Why did it always feel like talking to Molly was like watching a table tennis match? Ping-pong, ping-pong… “He has ink art but definitely no tatù. Nothing there for sure. When our hands touched I didn’t have a transfer.”
“Then why haven’t you sent him a text? Something short and sweet. Ohhh! I got it! Something like: Thanks for brightening my morning. Or, you’re sweeter than my coffee.”
Rae started laughing. “That’s cheesy, Molly. Even for you.”
“I’m trying to suggest something you would say.”
“Not that!” Rae shifted the car to a lower gear and hit the automatic window button to let it down. She rolled to a stop and entered the four-digit key into a screen that could have easily been missed. The gravel road trailed through a thin forest, which was hidden from the main road. At the code entry place, there lay a covered path that opened when you entered the correct code. “Molls, I’m sorry but I gotta go.”
“Call me on your way back. Text the hot-guy! I want to check him out. If he’s–”
The phone automatically cut out when Rae drove past the hidden entrance. She turned it off and pulled into the underground garage to park Julian’s car. There were a lot of fast, expensive cars already there. She double parked to be on the safe side and grabbed her backpack out of the trunk of the car.
“You’re late!”
Rae nearly sent a bolt of lightning toward the accusing voice. She dropped her bag. “What the heck, Jennifer!” She checked her watch as she bent to grab her bag. She forced her heart to settle its crazy rhythm. “And I’m not late.”
Jennifer stepped out from behind a yellow pillar she’d been leaning against. She wore tight black leather pants and a matching jacket similar to yesterday’s outfit. “You’re not early.”
Rae swiped the arm of her backpack and threw it over her shoulder. “I’m ten minutes early!”
“No. It’s going to take you fifteen minutes to find the gym, your locker and then you still have to warm up.”
“I don’t need to warm up.” She tapped her back. “I also have a speed tatù which works perfectly fine.”
Jennifer came closer, her eyebrows and nose scrunching up. “What happened?”
“Nothing.” Rae wiped her right eye, paranoid her mascara had smudged and she missed it.
“You’re a lousy liar.” Jennifer continued to stare her down. It seemed like minutes before she finally huffed and threw her hands in the air. “Leave the boy troubles at the gate. If you can’t focus a hundred and fifty percent on what I’m teaching you, we’re wasting our time.”
Am I that transparent? “I’m fine.”
Jennifer started walking, obviously assuming Rae would follow. “I told Carter you weren’t ready. I told him to wait until you finished school. But noooo… he had to push to get you in right away.”
She stopped suddenly and Rae had to jump to the side to avoid crashing into her, making her feel even more defensive than she did already. Rae suddenly felt the need to prove herself to Jennifer. “I’m more than ready.”
“No.” Her face scrunched into a scowl. “You think you are, but you have no idea whose house you are stepping in to. There’s so much you don’t know. Your pretty little head can’t even comprehend what I’m talking about.”
Tension from the long morning burned into frustration. Rae stepped close to Jennifer. They were nearly the same height since Jennifer was not wearing high-heeled boots so she met Jennifer’s unblinking stare. “Don’t assume you know everything about me. You don’t.” She put her hands on her hips. “You’re not my mother. I don’t need your concern for my personal life. You made it quite clear you offered to train me. Just do your job.”
Jennifer stood undeterred, but Rae didn’t miss the slight catch in Jennifer’s breath when she mentioned the word mother.
“I will, if you show up on time,” Jennifer snapped.
Lousy comeback. Rae’s tatù tingled up her spine as she switched to Jennifer’s leopard ability. “I’ll be in the gym, ready and warmed up, before you get there.” She took off with more determination and speed then she had ever used before. She left Jennifer still standing in the middle of the garage.
Chapter 6
Anger
What was that woman’s problem? Rae did a few high knees in the gym and threw the long sleeve shirt she had been wearing against the wall. She did not understand why Jennifer seemed so annoy
ed to be working with her. She had chosen to be her Botcher, not the other way around! If Rae had any say, she would have gone with someone younger… someone like Devon.
Stop it! I don’t want to think about you right now! No hurt, only anger. Anger feels good, feels strong.
Rae forced herself to watch the gym door and focus on getting ready to work with Jennifer. She wanted to prove she deserved to be working with the Privy Council. Whose house do you think you’re stepping into? Isn’t that what Jennifer had said? Rae snorted. Like she didn’t know.
She realized suddenly she was the only one in the gym. There had been two guys doing some kind of combat fighting training but they must have left through the door Carter had taken her through yesterday. Hopefully she hadn’t scared them off with her pacing and whatever else she might have been doing. For all her power, she still had a slight issue with control when she wasn’t paying attention.
The main doors swung open, and in swept Jennifer. Literally. Rae had read the term in books a dozen times but never understood what it really meant until this moment. Jennifer’s arms were spread wide from pulling the doors and remained outstretched as she stepped into the gym. She would have drawn more attention to the full gym Rae had walked into yesterday. Unbelievable.
Jennifer’s eyes scanned the room in an instant. “Good.” She marched over to Rae, pulling out her phone and typing something furiously fast into it. She harrumphed. “Carter feels you’re ready to get into the field. Apparently you don’t need training.”
“What?”
“Carter wants you on assignment.” She glanced down and scrolled through her phone. “Partnering you up with some guy named Julian. He thinks getting your feet wet is a waste a time… better to just jump right in head first.”
“Julian? He’s on assignment right now.” With Devon. Rae put her hands on her hips, but it felt awkward so she tried crossing them over her chest. That stance also felt wrong. She settled with dropping them at her sides, clenching her hands.