I smiled to myself as I pulled the Rover into the garage. There was something different about coming home these days. Before it was just me in this big ass house and I didn’t have anybody to come home to. Luther Vandross had it right. A house was not a home when there’s no one there. A man is only operating at half capacity when he’s not loving and taking care of a woman. Being single is great at times, but the ultimate goal is to share your life with someone besides your own reflection. Shit, last year you couldn’t pay me to say shit like that out loud, but now my whole attitude toward relationships had shifted. I guess having a good woman that was happily carrying your child could do that to a man.
I reached in the passenger seat to retrieve the grocery bag, proceeded to go inside and closed the garage door behind me. Angelique was in the kitchen making a fried bologna sandwich as I walked in.
“Hey babe. How you doin’'?” I announced myself.
“Hey you, come gimme kiss.” She turned around with a fork in her hand.
She looked like a sexy Easter bunny in her pink full body Snuggy. Only her hands and beautiful brown face were exposed. I walked over and leaned slightly into her placing my lips on hers. A fresh coat of cocoa butter Vaseline transferred to my lips as we parted mouths.
“You jus’ like a school boy playin’ with your Hot Wheels. I swear you take the long way home jus’ so you can spend a few more minutes in that truck.” She poked her shiny lips out.
“You know I gotta break her in.” I smiled setting the keys on the counter. “You mind throwin’ a few more slices in that grease? You got the whole house smellin’ good as hell. Aint nothin’ like a fried bologna sandwich at midnight to put you to sleep.”
Angelique reopened the plastic package of lunch meat. “No problem babe. Oh, did you remember to get what I asked for?”
I pulled out the thick glass jar from the shopping bag. “Yes I got your pickles and a pint of Blue Bunny chocolate ice cream.”
Angelique winked at me. “That’s why I love you. You always satisfy my cravings. You want some?”
“Naw baby girl. That nasty combo is all you.” I shook my head as I sat down at the table.
“You don’t know what you're missin’! Pickles and chocolate ice cream is the business!”
“I’ll take your word for it. You might wanna brush your teeth when you’re done eating, cuz bologna and pickles don’t exactly smell like potpourri.” I pointed my finger teasingly at her.
She placed the slices of meat in the pan and turned around laughing. Her ponytail shook slightly as her head bobbed from a sudden case of the giggles.
“And I’ll slob you down with my pickle and bologna breath and you’ll love every second of it.”
“Girl, you crazy retarded.” I smiled at my sexy pregnant girlfriend.
The popping grease snagged her attention and she returned her focus to the hot frying pan. I watched her turn the bubble shaped meat over and noticed her protruding belly brushing against the front of the stove. I’d never been around a pregnant woman before, but I had heard horror stories about the experience. All in all, the past several months hadn’t been that bad. My girlfriend was still fun to be around and I was still highly attracted to her. Angelique still had that sexy wit that turned me on, but what did change was the fact that now I was certain that I was deeply in love with her. I’m talking center of the earth deep. I’d murder a dead tree for her.
Somehow the term “girlfriend” no longer seemed to apply. It just seemed too small a title for a woman that I loved so much.
Four O’clock In The Morning
My cell phone came to life on the night stand next to the bed. I was a little irritated cuz I was in the middle of an erotic dream. Me and Angelique were fucking on a beach. I could see her sand covered thighs spreading apart inviting me in…and then before I could accept the invitation…the fucking phone rang!
Angelique’s body didn’t move when I reached for the phone. We went to bed two hours earlier and she was fast asleep. Who the hell could be calling and what the hell did they want?
“Who is this?” I answered gruffly.
I heard soft music playing in the background, but no one spoke.
“Who is this?” I repeated.
Still no one answered back. I looked at the number on the screen and didn’t recognize it. I abruptly hung up the phone and tried to return to my dream. I decided that someone must have butt dialed me on accident. Several minutes later I was just about to drift off to sleep when the phone rang again. Against my better judgment I answered it quickly so it wouldn’t wake up Angelique.
“Who the fuck is this!?” I whispered angrily.
A soft female voice flowed into my ear. “It’s me.”
The familiar voice of Dallas caused my bubbling anger to simmer down a bit. It had been more than a few months since she’d stopped calling. Dallas leaving the relationship quietly didn’t last for long. She started blowing up my phone about a month later asking me to forgive her.
“Why are you callin’ me? Is somethin’ wrong?”
“Yes somethin’ is wrong. You and I are wrong, and I want the chance to fix us. Tyce everybody makes mistakes. That don’t mean you jus’ cut them outta ya life. I wrote you letters and left you a gang of messages saying how sorry I am for everything that happened. Tyce I’m sorry. I’m soooo sorry. Can’t we jus’ talk. I mean jus’ sit down and really talk?”
I sighed heavily sinking the back of my head further into the over sized pillow.
“I can’t do that. I…” She cut me off.
“Why! Why can’t you? Is it because that fat ass bitch layin’ next to you don’t fuckin’ like me!? The Tyce I know makes his own mind up. The man I love would never let a bitch run him!”
Angelique’s eyes popped open and her head turned to the side as she looked at me in the dark.
“Who is that?” She whispered to me.
I shook my head back and forth making an irritated face. I was just about to answer her question when she also cut me off.
“Is that Dallas?” She raised her head slightly off the pillow. “Is that her?”
I attempted to ease the situation, “Look ma. I already said what I had to say when I put you out. This aint no baseball game. You only get one strike with me not three. I know nobody is perfect and I’m willing to forgive fouls and fuckups, but I don’t look past life changing lies.”
Dallas huffed. “There was more to it than that and you know it. In my mind I was lookin’ out for you. Yeah I lied, but don’t you see that?”
Angelique sat up in the bed, “Let me talk to the bitch! She got the fuckin’ balls to call my man at fuckin’ four in the mornin’. Oh hell naw! Give me the muthafuckin phone!”
Dallas sucked her teeth when she heard Angelique’s voice in the background.
“I didn’t call to talk to that heffa. I called to let you know that it aint over between you and me. I still love you and I’m not givin’ up that easy. I know you still love me and miss me. I’m the same woman you fell in love with and one day you will see that. Jus’ so you know, I’ll be havin’ lunch at the same Chinese food restaurant we went to that night. I’ll be there Saturday at noon. Sorry I woke you up, but love can’t tell time…goodnight.”
“Gimme the phone!” Angelique held her hand out.
“Calm down. She hung up already.”
“Well what did she say?!”
“She said how sorry she was. It was the same old lines, jus’ a different day. Let’s jus’ go back to sleep.”
Angelique stared at me in the blackness of our bedroom. I could see anger flash in her eyes like lightning. She repositioned herself so that her round stomach was facing me.
“I’ma handle that anti intelligent ass bitch. She wanted to call you when she knew I’d be with you. Me and this baby will skull drag that hoe down the street and give her a curbside ass whoopin’ in broad daylight! I’ll karate chop that bitch in the throat and make her ass swallow her tongue!”
I had to laugh at those crazy ass threats of bodily harm. However, I knew she wasn’t lying about any of it. The fact was Angelique would do all that and more to Dallas if she ever got the chance.
“I think you’ve been watchin’ too many Wesley Snipes movies.” I teased her.
“I’m serious Tyce. She messin’ with the wrong woman.”
After a few more minutes of violent venting, we finally laid back down. Unlike many women that had similar situations happen to them, Angelique never once accused me of anything sneaky or shady. She knew I had no reason to lie to her about having any contact with Dallas. I hadn’t seen her since she left the house months ago. What so many niggas don’t understand is how not to look suspicious. If I would have snuck out the bed to talk to Dallas in another room, and Angelique walked in and caught me whispering in the dark it would have looked like I was hiding something. Unless you’re planning a surprise party you should be able to have a phone conversation with a woman in front of your girlfriend. I wasn’t the type of nigga that would change my number just to stop a chic from calling me. Shit, that was my number, why should I make everyone else use a new number because of one person?
I placed my arm under my woman’s stomach and held her close to me. I knew she was uneasy, so I offered my body and gentle touch to comfort her.
Although I was physically there with Angelique, I had to admit that my mind was on Dallas as I drifted off to sleep.
Check This Out
“Tyce this is too much! I can’t accept this.”
Gloria shook her small head as she handed me back the check I’d just given her. We were standing in the driveway of her home. The warm gentle breeze made her eyes blink a little as she looked up at me. A blue leather head band swept the hair away from her face.
“Jus’ take it mom. I want you to have it. If it means anything I gave Pamela the exact same amount and I had to force her to take it too.”
“Baby, what am I gonna do with two hundred and fifty thousand dollars?”
I smiled at her, “Buy some fun, excitement, joy and maybe purchase a lil peace of mind with a side of relaxation for a change.”
That made her full lips part into a smile. She smoothed her hands over her hair and sighed. We both turned our heads when we saw her neighbor come outside with a pair of garden shears in her hands.
“Hey Glo. How you doin’ suga?” The lively woman addressed my mother.
“I’m doin’ fine Ms. Rose. how ‘bout yourself?”
The pleasant woman was in the sunset of her 60’s but she still looked good. Big brown sunglasses hid most of her face but I could tell she was a looker in her heyday.
“The lord done blessed me to wake up this beautiful mornin’ so I’m fine as wine in the summertime. Who is this handsome young man here Glo?” Ms. Rose leaned on the top of her fence.
“I’m sorry I didn’t introduce you, Ms. Rose this is my son Tyce. Tyce this is Ms. Rose.”
I crossed the driveway and shook her hand. “Very nice to meet you Ms. Rose.”
“You too suga. Is that your Mercedes parked out front right there?” She pointed with the shears.
I turned around and looked at my car parked in front of Gloria’s house.
“Yes ma’am.”
“You aint one of them crack dealers are you?” She pointed with the shears again but this time they were pointed at me.
“No ma’am. I don’t sell drugs.”
“Good, cuz the only thing come outta that is the penitentiary, or the grave yard. Last time I checked those two destinations were not popular places to visit.” Her red flower dress rustled in the light wind.
“Yes ma’am, I agree with you.”
“Good. Now listen young man. I have a granddaughter who’s about the same age as you and I would love for ya’ll to meet. Maybe you two could go to the movie house or something. I keep tellin’ her she’s wasting her time tryna find a decent man in these night clubs. See now here I am jus’ comin’ out to trim my bushes and I done met a decent handsome man not 20 feet from my porch.”
My mom interjected, “Ms. Rose, he’s already taken.”
She leaned back from the fence, “Well that’s good for him and bad for my granddaughter. I told her aint no good men partying in them night clubs. The hardworking men are home sleep. They too tired to be up all times of night.”
Gloria came and grabbed my arm, “Ok Ms. Rose
we’ll see you later. It was nice talking to you.”
“Ok Glo. It was nice talkin’ to you, and it was a pleasure to meet you also young man.”
“The pleasure was all mine Ms. Rose take care.”
“You too suga.” She shuffled off.
Gloria walked with me toward my car. I was still holding the unwanted check as we stood next to the driver’s side door.
“That woman will talk your ear off if you don’t stop her.”
“You aint one of them crack dealers are you?” I did my best impression of Ms. Rose.
Gloria busted out laughing at my old lady voice and slapped my chest lightly.
“You sound jus’ like her!”
We shared a laugh at my brief comedic moment before I handed her the check again.
Gloria smiled showing her deep dimples. “I told you I can’t accept that baby. You keep that, you keep that to take care of Angelique and my grandchild.”
“I want you to have it and I’m not takin’ no for an answer.”
I grabbed her hand and placed the rectangle shaped piece of paper in her soft palm.
“It’s time for you to relax and enjoy life. You’ve been through enough.” I kissed her cheek gently.
I could see her brown eyes begin to mist over as she looked down at her hand. She looked up at me as the tears collected in the bottom of her eyes.
“Thank you son.”
“You’re welcome mom.”
1-800 Bitch
While Tyce was at his mom’s house I was upstairs putting the finishing touches on the baby’s room. We decided to go with neutral colors that would be appropriate for a little girl or boy. Only my doctor knew the sex of the baby and we told her specifically not to tell us because we wanted it to be a surprise.
The room was filled with everything a new born would need and then some. Tyce already bought three car seats for each of our vehicles and the highchair was posted up in the kitchen. The baby wasn’t even born yet and he or she was already a millionaire. A week after he found out I was pregnant he went to the safe and took out a million in cash. He took the money to the bank and put it directly in his safe deposit box. When the time came-he planned on opening up an account with all three of our names on it. The only thing he was waiting on was the third name to add to the account.
After I was finished in the bedroom, I made my way to the pool taking my cell phone along with me. I planned on soaking up the sunshine and setting a bitch straight while sipping on raspberry flavored ice tea. I stripped down to my birthday suit, rubbed cocoa butter all over my body including my swollen belly, sat my big ass down in a lounge chair, and dialed Dallas’s number.
I prayed she wouldn’t pull a disappearing act and not answer my call. My prayers were answered when she picked up on the first ring.
“Hello dear. You miss me?” Dallas asked sarcastically.
“Bitch please. Pause the games. This aint high school.”
Dallas laughed. “If it was you’d be the fat girl tryna make the cheerleading squad.”
“Well you’d be the school skank. And for the record you wish you could be me. You wish you were carrying Tyce’s baby. I know it jus’ chaps your clit that he’s my baby daddy and not yours. So put the brakes on the fat jokes you basic ass bitch!”
Angelique couldn’t see it, but Dallas’s face was twisted with an evil stare. That last comment cut deep cuz it was true.
“I’m not gonna be too many more bitches. Why the fuck you callin’ me anyway?” Dallas snapped back.
“You know why I’m callin’ you!
”
“I’m a basic bitch remember…so I’ma need you to clarify.”
I put the glass of iced tea on the ground.
“STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN!”
“He’s only with you cuz I haven’t taken him yet. The key word here is yet. You know in your heart that he didn’t jus’ stop lovin’ me. You can’t turn love on and off like a faucet and you’re jus’ trippin’ cuz sooner or later Tyce is gonna come my way and get wet.”
I looked at the phone in anger. I had an urge to throw it in the pool, but stopped myself.
“I aint worried about you or your lying ass pussy. Tyce knows where home is and he’s here with me every fuckin’ night.”
Dallas spoke in a child like voice. “You silly rabbit. My legs are open in the daytime too. I would love to chat with you some more but unfortunately I have to go.”
“You think this is a game, bitch I aint playin’ with you! I will fuckin’ kill you if…”
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