“How did you even know I was here?”
She laughed and her eyes widened for a split second. “I was with Brian, he told me you’d be here sparring with your dad.”
“Fucking Brian,” I mumbled, but couldn’t stop smiling with the way she was smiling at me. I’d never seen her this happy before, and it was contagious. “Didn’t end up sparring. I came in to tell my dad that I was going to go to you because I was done waiting for you to make up your mind.”
Her dark eyebrows rose high. “Were you?”
“I needed to remind you of what you were missing.”
Her features softened, and she tightened her arms around me. “Trust me, Liam. I knew exactly what I’d been missing. It just took me a little bit to stop wasting time.”
“That’s an understatement.”
Kennedy punched my stomach teasingly.
“I’m kidding, Moon. As long as I was the one you chose in the end, you could’ve taken years.”
“Years,” she stated skeptically.
“I never said I’d fight fair during that time.” I shrugged unapologetically.
“Well, a month was long enough for me.” She took a deep breath in and released it slowly. “There’s a lot I need to tell you, but nothing that I want to tell you outside of your dad’s gym. And I still need to tell Rhys what I’ve decided . . . alone.”
“You’re sure you don’t want me there with you?”
“Yes, I’m sure. I need to do it alone. After the conversation I had with him last night, I have a feeling he’s going to understand. Besides, if my decision had been different, would you want me showing up with him to tell you?”
“Fuck.” I rubbed my forehead, but conceded, knowing that this was something I had to let her do. “No, I wouldn’t want that. If you need to talk to him alone, you should.”
“So I think maybe you should go fight with your dad, then go take Brian his second greasy meal of the day, and maybe if you’re up for it, I’ll come over after. I think Brian would be mad at me if I made you miss your Saturday night with him.”
“Miss my Saturday with him? I see Brian whenever, it’s not always on Saturdays.”
Kennedy’s face fell. “That greedy bastard,” she muttered, and sighed. “Whatever, I’m sure he’s expecting you after this. Just don’t take burgers to him, he already had some.”
“Okay, no burgers, and I’ll go work out with Dad as long as you can tell me you’ll come back to me tonight.”
“I said if you—”
“I’ll be up for it, Moon. I’m going to need you tonight—especially if I know you’re about to go talk to your ex about all of this.”
She nodded and pressed a lingering kiss to my lips before backing away. “I’ll see you in a few hours, Liam Taylor, I promise.”
And just like that, the last month fell away like it had been nothing. Everything I’d been worrying about and afraid of suddenly felt like it had been worth the trouble. Turning around after she’d driven off, I went back into the gym and caught my dad’s eye.
“Let’s do this, old man.”
December 5
Kennedy
I GOT HOME as fast as I could, and practically ran to the condo. My sudden entrance seemed to have caught Kira and Rhys off guard, but I had too much adrenaline to think about it much.
“Hey, I’m sorry for interrupting your conversation! Apparently I like to do that,” I said with an awkward laugh, and looked directly at Rhys. “Do you think we could go to dinner . . . alone? I was hoping to talk to you about something.”
Rhys’s eyes darted over to Kira, but didn’t stay there for more than a second. “Yeah, sure. Let me change really quick.” He pulled out his bag from behind the couch, and carried it down the hall and into my room.
“I’m sorry,” I said to Kira, who was staring off into space. “I swear it’s nothing against you, I just need to do this. I need to talk to him.”
“Yeah, no. I get it,” she mumbled, and stood up from the love seat.
“Hey,” I said, and grabbed her arm when she started walking past me. “Are you okay? You’ve been so weird the last week or so.”
“I’m fine.”
My eyebrows pulled together. “Kira, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I’m just tired and I’ve had a headache all day. You two going to dinner will give me a chance to relax.”
“I can bring you something back,” I offered, but she shook her head as she pulled her arm free.
“No, I’m good. Food doesn’t sound good right now. I’ll see you when you get back.”
I stood there staring at her closed door until I heard Rhys walk back into the room.
“Ready? And can we take my truck? I haven’t had a reason to drive in a while.”
“Yeah, sure,” I murmured, then shook my head. “Yeah, I am. Do you know if Kira’s okay?”
Rhys shrugged. “Yeah, she’s seemed fine all day, why?”
“Huh. Okay. Well, yeah, I’m ready.”
The entire ride was tense, and I wondered if Rhys somehow knew what decision I’d made. Conversation was short and strained, and I was thankful when we pulled up to the restaurant so we would have the distractions of food and other people. We didn’t speak or look at each other as we glanced over the menu and placed our orders, and as we waited for the food, the conversation became as awkward as it had been in the car. It wasn’t until the food had been placed in front of us that I finally felt like I could tell him—like the food was a shield in a way.
“Rhys—” I began at the same time he said, “I need to talk to you, Kennedy.”
My heart raced, and I quickly pleaded, “Can I please go first?”
Rhys’s face looked like a mix of panic and uncertainty.
“I’m sorry, but I’m worried that whatever you have to say will make me unable to say what I need to.”
“Okay,” he finally said. “Talk to me.”
I opened my mouth, but shut it really quick and pointed at the food. “Could you eat while I talk? It’ll make this easier.”
The corner of his mouth tilted up, and with an amused look, he grabbed his fork and started eating.
With a deep breath in, I said, “I chose Liam, Rhys.”
Rhys’s eyes widened, and like Brian had done earlier, he stopped eating and just stared at me.
“Keep eating, please.” As soon as he was doing so, I continued. “I’m sorry—you’ll never know how sorry I am—that I couldn’t make a decision sooner. I’ve just been going crazy worrying about hurting you, and I—”
“Kennedy, Kennedy . . . it’s fine,” he said, cutting me off. “You do not have to explain why it took you this long. Not at all.”
“But I—”
“I showed up after four years and confused you. I get it. No one could blame you for taking a month, and I promise you that I don’t. Can I say what I wanted to tell you now?”
I blinked quickly and nodded. “Yeah, sure.” The first part had gone so well that I almost didn’t know how to react. Rhys looked pointedly at my food, and I quickly grabbed my fork and dug in like he’d done earlier.
“Okay . . . Kennedy, I fell in love with you the minute I saw you. As ridiculous as that sounds, you already know it’s true. Those three months with you were full of more life and passion than I’d ever imagined I’d have. When I had to leave you, I felt like I’d left myself with you . . . which, to be honest, made going undercover easier. I wasn’t myself anymore, I felt like I had nothing to live for, and that ended up helping. But the entire time I was gone, I was positive your dad would have told you the truth, and that you would be waiting for me whenever I got back. That hope, and remembering what we had, was what got me through those four years. But when I came looking for you and I realized how wrong I was . . . I was . . . I don’t even know how to explain what was going through my mind when I saw you again. But in that first moment of seeing you, I felt whole again, only to feel like half of me was ripped away when I realized the guy who
opened the door wasn’t there for Kira. I couldn’t understand how I could be so in love with someone who no longer loved me.
“It didn’t take long, maybe a week since I had nothing else to do but think about it, but I quickly realized that it was the idea of us and loving you that I’d clung to for those years. All I thought about was how it had been between us when we were married, what I’d continued thinking about while I was gone, and how it felt now that I was near you again. I figured out that I loved you, but I had fallen out of love with you sometime while I was gone. Not consciously, but probably because in my mind I was still cutting ties—and that included not loving you—and I knew that I had to prepare for you not to be waiting. Like I said, it wasn’t conscious, because I’d been hoping for the opposite that whole time, but it didn’t change the reality of my feelings for you now.
“I should have left then. I should have apologized for turning your world upside down again, and left you to go back to your life. But I couldn’t. You’d moved on, but you were still giving us a chance like I’d asked for, and I knew I had to give us that chance too. I knew no matter what you decided, I would be happy. But something has changed in the last couple weeks, and to be completely honest with you, I’ve been terrified that you would choose me. I just didn’t know how to ask you not to after asking you to give me a second chance.”
Throughout his entire speech, I sat there with wide eyes, and I was pretty sure I’d stopped eating at some point during that time. As he got closer to finishing, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “You’re not mad? Wait! What’s happened in the last couple weeks?”
A secretive smile I’d known well a long time ago crossed his face, and he dropped his head. When he lifted it again, he asked, “Is it okay if I’m not ready to tell you yet? There’s someone else I need to talk to first.”
The question surprised me, and I opened my mouth to respond but shut it when I realized I had no idea what I’d been about to say. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, it’s okay. I wasn’t expecting this, but I know I’ve said that exact same thing before . . . so I have to be okay with waiting.”
“I will tell you, Kennedy. Just not yet.”
I smiled and nodded. “I know you will.” I looked at our half-eaten meals and laughed. “Well! We just got a conversation I’ve been dreading out of the way. And I’m guessing you feel as relieved as I do?” He sent me a confirming smile, and I asked, “How about we finish this dinner and then get out of here?”
“Sounds perfect.”
Once we were finished and the bill was paid, we stood to leave. Rhys walked directly behind me out of the restaurant, and helped me into his truck. We talked about the dinner, and the relief we felt now that everything was out there in the open. Everything about our conversation felt perfect. It felt easy. It felt like a friendship. A friendship I should have had with him for over a month.
When we pulled up to the condo, I touched his arm to stop him from getting out of his truck. “I’m going to grab the keys to the car, and then I’m going to leave so I can talk to Liam. I want you to know that just because we know for sure nothing will happen between us, you do not have to leave. Kira and I both really like having you here, and if you want to stay, please do.”
That secretive smile was back. “I appreciate it.”
Leaning over the console, I wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him closer so I could press a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you, Rhys. For everything. You showing up in California was the best gift you could have ever given me.”
18
December 5
Liam
I’D BARELY BEEN home long enough to take a shower before Kennedy was at my door, but that knocking couldn’t have come soon enough. The hours while she was with Rhys had dragged.
As soon as the door was open, she was launching herself at me and clinging to me like she was afraid I’d disappear.
“Hey, did it go okay?”
“Better than okay. I’m still in shock at how okay it went. Rhys said he’d realized soon after he moved here that he was no longer in love with me. But he felt like he owed it to me to give us the chance that he’d asked me for.”
My eyes widened. “Are you serious?”
“Ye—” Her words cut off abruptly when I pushed her against the wall and pressed my mouth to hers.
Kennedy’s hands immediately went to the bottom of my shirt and began lifting it, but just as fast as they got there, she released the fabric and pushed against my stomach. “Liam, wait. I need to talk to you, and if you keep kissing me then I’ll skip the talking.”
I grinned wickedly, and she giggled against my next kiss.
“No, I’m serious. This has to be said before we do anything else. So we’re going to go sit on your couch—on opposite ends—and I’m going to tell you everything I’ve been keeping from you. Well, except the whole Rhys thing, I’m pretty sure you understand that by now.”
As much as I wanted Kennedy underneath me in my bed, I knew I’d been waiting months for this talk and didn’t want to put it off any longer if she was ready. Once we were seated on opposite ends of the couch with her feet in my lap, she blew out a long breath like she was collecting herself, and then waited another few seconds.
“Okay,” she said. “There are three things that you need to know. First is the tattoo that Kira and I got the day before Rhys showed up.” Grabbing the collar of her shirt, she pulled it to the side to show me, as if I would have forgotten. “Kira, as you know, had been with Zane for years, and you saw what happened to her when he left her. You now know about Rhys, and sometime during the months with you, I realized that Rhys and my past with him no longer had the same control over me that they originally had. Before, that past controlled my life, but as I got deeper into my relationship with you, I got further and further from that past, and its hold. So Kira and I both felt like we were finally free from our past relationships—relationships that had completely changed us. That is what the free hearts stand for.” Kennedy laughed and shook her head. “And then my past came back into my life the next day, and you saw how that went.”
I smiled, but remained quiet as I grabbed her feet in my hands and started rubbing them. I didn’t want to interrupt her, but I wanted her to know how much I was appreciating that she was finally telling me this.
“The second is, I like being in control of my life . . . eh, well, mostly my sex life. It makes me panic when I’m not in control of kisses, touches . . . everything. Like I told you that day in your office, only you and Rhys have ever been able to make me willingly give up my control. But only Rhys has ever known why I needed that control.”
I waited somewhat patiently while Kennedy looked like she was trying to gather her thoughts. But this was something I’d wanted to know since Vegas, and knowing that I was seconds away from finding out had me almost begging her to tell me.
“This is probably going to be so jumbled and confusing, but I’ll try to make it so you understand. Before I met Rhys, I needed control for a completely different reason from when I met you. My mom is a very strong-willed person, and that’s something I’ve always admired about her. I’m just like my dad, but having a strong will was definitely the one thing I’ve taken from my mom, and I took pride in being that way. After my first real kiss I realized just how vulnerable I felt during it, and it made me really uneasy because that wasn’t the kind of person I was. So I made sure from then on that there wasn’t a way for me to feel like that again. I always took control after that. With Rhys, there was something about him that made it so easy to just let him take control. I never once had that vulnerable feeling, but I still fought him because I had been unknowingly trying to make all my relationships be just like my parents’. Do you remember I told you that I used to want what they have, and then I realized that that kind of love didn’t exist?”
I thought for a second, then nodded. “Ice cream shop.”
“Right. Rhys was what made me realize that . . . or think that. But I never unders
tood that I’d been trying to force my relationships to be perfect until I talked to Rhys about it last night. To be honest, I always thought it was only Kira who did that. So with Rhys, losing control meant no longer controlling how our relationship went, then after him, I guess it was the same as before. I didn’t want to go back to feeling vulnerable with any guy; but then I met you, and you demanded control from the start. The second you touched me I was already completely lost in you in a way I had never been, and it absolutely terrified me. I thought it was because you were like Rhys, but Brian is actually the person who made me see the differences. Everything was easy with Rhys, but everything was terrifying with you because what I felt with you was more than I ever felt with him, and I had thought at one point that he was the last person I would ever love. So it wasn’t the similarities between you and Rhys that scared me, and it wasn’t that I didn’t stand a chance of keeping control with you. It was that I had finally found the guy I was meant to be with, and after what had happened with Rhys, I was too scared to let myself feel anything for you. Letting myself love again was the hardest and scariest thing I’ve ever done.”
“Does it still scare you?”
“No,” she breathed. “Liam, I crave the way you make me feel and the way you love me.”
“And do you trust me not to hurt you now?” I asked as I pushed her feet to the side and leaned forward so my mouth was less than an inch from hers.
“I wouldn’t be here telling you all of this if I didn’t trust you with my heart.”
I captured her lips with mine, and like before, her fingers gripped my shirt, then flattened against my chest as she pushed me away.
“Wait, wait. Last thing that you didn’t know,” she whispered against my lips. “I have to tell you about Juarez and why Kira and I are really in California.”
“Yeah.” I sat back and looked at her. “Who the fuck is Juarez? No one ever answered that question for me.”
She waited until I was back against my side of the couch and rubbing her feet again before she started talking. “Juarez is the leader of a gang that my dad and uncle Mason infiltrated. To make a long story—that I don’t actually even know—short, the gang wanted payback after my dad got most of their members thrown in jail. The remaining members kidnapped my mom right before my parents were supposed to get married. Obviously she got away from them, and the rest of the gang members were thrown in prison as well. A few months before Kira and I moved here, my dad started receiving threats from someone in the gang, or close to them, that were directed at Kira and me. Moving to California without our parents was just a precaution, but Dad thought it was necessary since a handful of the members were being released within just months of each other. Then last week we had a visitor from Juarez.”
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