“You’re right, and we’re likely to get a lot more snow before winter is over.”
“That’s true, so I’ll hitch Sugar to your buggy, and you can go up to the house and let Mom know we’ll be gone for a couple of hours.”
“Okay, I’ll grab some cardboard boxes from the utility room, in case there are some things I want to bring back with me.”
“Sounds good. See you in a bit.”
As Sylvia headed back to the house, a sense of thankfulness filled her soul. Amy had been supportive of her since Toby, Dad, and Abe had died. She was definitely a lot stronger emotionally than Sylvia. Her sister hadn’t lost faith in God either.
What will I do without my dear sister after she gets married? Sylvia’s throat constricted. Amy might not have much time for me once she and Jared are married, and she may not even be able to work in the greenhouse anymore.
Clymer, New York
“Have you talked to your mamm or any of your siblings lately?” Michelle asked when Ezekiel came into the house to get the lunchbox he’d left on the counter after heading out to his shop earlier that morning.
“Just a short message from Mom, which I found on the answering machine last evening. Sorry, I forget to mention it.”
“That’s okay. You were busy with paperwork for your business, and that was important.”
“I was kinda busy, but I should have thought to tell you about her message.”
“Did she say how things have been going for them lately?”
“Just said everyone was fine, and that most of their snow had melted.” Ezekiel poured himself a cup of coffee, blew on it, and took a cautious drink. “She also mentioned that a group of young people would be coming to their house this Friday evening to roast hot dogs and marshmallows around the fire-pit.”
“That sounds like fun. I wish we could join them.”
Ezekiel couldn’t miss the wistful expression on his wife’s face as she stood near the kitchen sink, with her back facing the window. Was it the idea of sitting around a bonfire she longed for, or the pleasure of spending time with his family in Strasburg? He was about to ask, when Michelle posed another question.
“Did your mamm say anything about Monroe? Has he been back to see her after she made it clear that she has no interest in him romantically?”
Ezekiel shook his head. “She didn’t mention Monroe at all, but if he had been coming around, I’m sure she would have mentioned it. I was pleased when Mom called us the day after she’d let him know where he stood.” Ezekiel took another drink from his mug. “That gave me one less thing to worry about.”
“Jah, me too. I hate to say this, but I have to wonder if Mr. Esh has more on his mind than a romantic interest in your mother.”
Ezekiel tipped his head to one side. “What other kind of interest?”
“A financial one. He might want the greenhouse for himself.”
“You could be right, I suppose, but if I have anything to say about it, that’s never going to happen.”
Michelle pushed a wisp of auburn hair back under her heart-shaped head covering. “Since your mother put Monroe in his place, I don’t think we have to worry about him anymore.”
“I hope not.” Ezekiel pursed his lips. “From the moment I met that man, I had an uneasy feeling about him.”
Michelle came over and kissed his cheek. “You’re such a schmaert man.”
He pulled Michelle into his arms and held her close. “I don’t know how smart I am about other things, but I was schmaert enough to talk you into marrying me.”
She tipped her head back and looked up at him. “You didn’t have to talk me into anything. Besides, I was the schmaert one for saying yes to becoming your fraa.”
Strasburg
When Sylvia opened the front door to her house and stepped inside, she dropped the cardboard boxes on the floor in the hallway. As she entered the living room, memories overwhelmed her like water from a broken dam. In spite of her efforts to stay calm, tears started flowing. “Oh Sister…” She gulped on a sob. “It’s so hard for me to be here anymore.”
“It’s okay. Let the cleansing tears fall.” Amy led Sylvia over to the couch, and they both took a seat.
“I…I’m sorry for being such a big bawling baby.” Sylvia took a tissue from the end table beside the couch and wiped her nose. “It’s just so hard being here in the home I shared with Toby and knowing I’ll never have that kind of happiness again.”
Amy clasped Sylvia’s hand. “I understand how coming here must make you feel sad. Have you considered selling the place and staying with Mom permanently?”
Sylvia scooted back against the couch and rested her head. “I have given it some consideration, but the idea of letting the house go to strangers doesn’t sit well with me.”
“Maybe you could find a suitable renter. Have you thought of that as an option?”
“No, not really, but it might be a possibility.” Sylvia blotted the tears from her cheeks with another tissue. “My biggest concern with renting the house would be who might want to rent it. I’ve heard terrible stories about people renting homes and leaving the owner with a big mess when they moved out. Some folks don’t pay their rent on time or at all. So it might be a bigger challenge to become a landlord than to just sell the house and be done with it.”
“I understand. My advice is to pray about the situation and ask God to help you decide what the best course of action would be.”
Sylvia gave no response as she massaged the bridge of her nose. The truth was, she saw little help in praying. Even after so many months had passed since the accident that took their loved ones, her faith in God had not been restored, and she doubted it ever would be strong again. There was a time when she did have faith, and believed in miracles, but it seemed so long ago.
She glanced around the room at all the familiar furniture. “What would I do with all these things if I did sell the house?”
“You might be able to take a few things over to Mom’s, and maybe Jared and I could buy some pieces of your furniture and other items to put in our new home.”
Sylvia blinked rapidly. “Now there’s a thought.”
“You mean about us buying some of your things?”
“No, I mean what if you and Jared bought my house, or even rented it from me? Nothing’s been decided about where you will live yet, right?”
“Well, no, but…” Amy’s voice trailed off, and then she picked up her sentence again. “Wouldn’t it be difficult for you to come over here and visit? You said a few minutes ago that it was hard for you to be here anymore. I would feel bad if you didn’t want to come over to my place to see me, and if we had a family function here you would not be left out.”
Sylvia leaned forward with her arms against her knees. “I—I hadn’t considered any of that. You’re right, Amy, it would be most difficult for me to come to the home that had been mine and Toby’s and see you and Jared living here happily together. It would be a reminder of how much I have lost.” Sylvia rubbed her forehead. “Am I being eegesinnisch to think this way?”
Amy gave Sylvia’s back several light pats and made slow circles with her fingers in a gentle rub. “You’re not being selfish at all. Only you know what you can and cannot deal with. Besides, since Jared and I will be just starting out, we can’t really afford to buy a home yet. We’ll most likely look for something inexpensive to rent.”
“Which could be my place, if I wasn’t so emotional about being in this house.”
“Don’t worry about it, Sister. Even if you were willing to rent your home to us, our wedding’s over seven months from now, and you’d have to continue to leave the house unattended all that time.” Amy continued to rub Sylvia’s back until she sat up.
“I’ll give this some more thought. Maybe I’ll end up selling the place and be free of all the memories that haunt me. Right now, let’s get busy and gather up all of the things I want to take back with me today. I don’t want to be here any longer than nece
ssary.”
“Let’s go outside and get some fresh air.” Belinda bundled her grandkids, as well as herself, in warm attire. Allen and Rachel seemed eager to head out with Grandma as their voices raised a couple of octaves.
Once outdoors, the sun provided some warmth. They walked around the yard where snow had concentrated in more of the shaded areas. Allen’s boots crunched in the snow as he made his way over to the frozen birdbath. He touched the solid water and slid his gloved fingers across the surface. “Look, Grossmammi—I’m skating.”
“You sure are.” Belinda smiled as she pulled Rachel across the yard on the wooden sled Sylvia had used as a child. I wonder how my daughter is doing right now. She gets so emotional whenever she returns to the home she and Toby shared.
Belinda was well aware that Sylvia still struggled with the past, but she tried her best to raise the children with love and tender care.
She stopped pulling the sled and bowed her head. Lord, please keep mending Sylvia’s heart and allow her to find peace and joy in her life again.
Belinda’s eyes opened and she looked at her precious grandchildren, so innocent, and with no knowledge of the inner struggles their mother faced on a daily basis. I must keep hoping and praying that each member of my family will heal a little, day by day. The Lord has provided for our needs, despite each one of the setbacks and the vandalism on our property. Even so, I will continue to trust Him in the days ahead and not give in to despair.
“Being here this evening and sitting around the bonfire talking and singing is so much fun. Danki for inviting me and Rudy to join you.” Amy’s friend Lydia spoke with excitement as the two of them carried hot dogs and buns from the house to the area where the fire had been started by Jared and the other young men present.
Amy smiled. “I’m glad you could both come. It wouldn’t have been the same without you.” She leaned closer to Lydia. “I’m real happy that you agreed to be one of my witnesses at Jared’s and my wedding.”
“I’m looking forward to it. Now I have a question. Will you be one of my witnesses?”
Amy’s fingers touched her parted lips. “Are you and Rudy planning to be married?”
“Jah, but not till November.”
Amy clasped her friend’s hand. “That’s wunderbaar, Lydia. Congratulations, and jah, I would be honored to be one of your witnesses.”
“Thank you. We’re very excited about it, and even more so since both sets of our parents have given us their blessing.”
“When your folks approve of the man you want to marry, that does make it much easier for everyone.”
“For sure.” Lydia placed the packages of buns on the picnic table near the fire. “I bet your mamm approved of Jared from the beginning of your courtship.”
“Jah and so did my daed.” Amy drew a breath and released it slowly. “It makes me sad when I think about not having him at our wedding.”
“It is a shame, but if he was here, I’m sure he’d approve and be happy for you.”
“I agree.” Amy placed the hot dogs next to the ketchup and mustard that had already been brought out. “I invited Sylvia to join us this evening, but she seemed hesitant and made up some excuse about not wanting to leave the kinner.”
“Wouldn’t your mamm watch Allen and Rachel?”
“Of course she would, and Sylvia knows it, but I believe she’s unwilling to allow herself the freedom to have a little fun.”
“How come?”
“Because she hasn’t let go of the anger and emotional pain she’s felt since Toby, Dad, and Abe died. Sometimes I think my sister wallows in her self-pity, hoping to somehow drown out the pain.”
“That’s too bad. I’ll remember to pray more often for her.”
“Danki. Sylvia, like the rest of us, needs a lot of prayer.”
Sylvia had set up a tray of marshmallows, chocolate bars, and graham crackers for Amy to take out when her guests were ready for dessert. Now bored, she walked from the kitchen into the dining room. Her mother hadn’t come down downstairs yet. She’s probably enjoying her time with the children while I’m down here moping. Guess I should have been the one to be put to bed this evening.
Muffled sounds of conversation and laughter could be heard from the goings-on outside, while Sylvia remained alone with her thoughts. It seems like only days ago when that was me outside with all my friends. Toby and I were courting and so happy together. I remember the bonfire and how the glow from it made my beloved’s eyes sparkle.
Sylvia placed both hands against her chest. Toby captured my heart from the first moment we met, and the more time I spent with him, the more I knew he was the only one for me. She expelled a lingering sigh. We made so many good memories at gatherings like the one going on outside. Those were precious times of bonding with our friends and each other.
Sylvia’s eyes watered, obscuring her vision for a moment. Knowing what she did now, Sylvia wouldn’t have changed a thing. She felt blessed to have had those special times with Toby during their courting days and after they were married. The sweet children upstairs were also a blessing to her. Sylvia had no regrets about becoming a mother. Her only regret was that Allen and Rachel had no father to help nurture and guide them into adulthood.
She continued to wander around the room barefooted, until boisterous laughter caught her attention. Sylvia paused at the dining-room window, watching the glow of the bonfire outside. Amy and her friends seemed to be having so much fun. She felt a stab of envy. Her carefree, fun-loving days were behind her. Other than spending time with her children and sometimes laughing at their cute antics, Sylvia had little to feel joyous about. In a few months, it would be time to put her black mourning clothes aside, but her heart would still long for what she had lost.
Sylvia’s mother came into the room and joined her at the window. “Looks like they’re having a good time out there.”
“Jah. It would seem so.”
“The kinner are in bed, sleeping soundly now, so why don’t you join your sister and her friends?”
Sylvia shook her head. “Henry was invited and he declined.”
“That’s only because he was invited to spend the night at his friend Seth’s place tonight.”
“Well, I’m not going out there. I wouldn’t fit in.”
“Of course you would. You’re not that much older than those who have come here tonight.”
“I’m a widow, and those four couples are all courting, Mom. Surely you must understand how displaced I would feel, sitting among them and trying to join their conversation.”
“No more than I would, but Amy invited me to join their gathering also.”
“Then by all means, you should put on some warm clothes and go outside. I need to stay here where I can hear Allen and Rachel if they should wake up and need me.” Sylvia turned away from the window. “Think I’ll go back to the living room and look at the book Henry loaned me on bird-watching. I might learn something new about the birds found in this area.”
Mom’s eyes widened. “I didn’t realize you were interested in birding.”
“I’m not really, but Henry’s so fascinated with it, and he seemed to want to share his interest with me, so I thought I’d at least look at the book. Maybe when the weather warms up a bit, I might sit outside more and study the birds that come into our yard. Henry sure enjoys doing that. I’ve seen him sitting in the loft of the barn, looking out the open doors, usually with a pair of binoculars in his hands.”
Mom shook her head. “I don’t like him sitting up there. If he gets too close to the edge, it could be dangerous for him.”
Sylvia figured it was time for a change of topic. Lately Mom had been a bit overprotective, and not just of Henry. She worried more and voiced her opinion about things Amy, Sylvia, and the children did too. Hopefully when Mom got busy in the greenhouse again, things would go back to the way they were and her concentration would revert to other things.
Virginia hurried to get the wonderful cut of meat she
’d cooked on the table. She’d followed the instructions to the letter and felt sure it would be nice and tender. She placed their dishes on the table and poured brewed tea over ice in the glasses.
When Virginia carried the carved meat to the table and brought out the vegetables cooked in beef broth, her mouth watered. The rolls came last, steaming underneath the foil covering them.
Once everything was on the table, she stepped into the hallway and stopped at the mirror to fluff up her hair. Then she checked the new lipstick she’d put on earlier. “Earl, it’s time eat.”
“I’m coming, dear. The meal smells tasty, and you look nice too.” He chuckled. “I saw you primping in the mirror.”
Virginia grinned as she followed her husband to the table. As soon as they took their seats, she passed him the roast. Her mouth watered once again as she dished up her food.
Earl smiled as he loaded his plate and took a first bite. “This is a pretty good pot roast you fixed this evening.” He smiled at Virginia from across the table. “You did a good job with supper.”
She grinned right back at him. “I’m glad you like it, but I can’t take all the credit. If you hadn’t bought a new oven and microwave, nothing but the stovetop would cook well in this kitchen.”
“I really had no choice, since I didn’t want to get take-out every night.” He wiggled his dark brows at her.
She rolled her eyes. “It figures all you’d be thinkin’ about is satisfying your stomach.”
“I think of lots of other things too.”
“Like what?”
“My job and making my quota of cars sold every month.”
“That’s important all right; or else we wouldn’t have money to buy food and pay the bills.” She ate some of her microwave-baked potatoes and blotted her lips with a napkin. “Do you want me to look for a job so there’s not so much pressure on you to provide for us? I could see if one of the stores in the area might be hiring.”
The Mockingbird's Song Page 5