But computers—those were totally all right with her because you could use them to order books from Amazon, EBay, and any number of other places. Ironically that was what made Willa also start to resent technology. But not nearly for the same reasons as her mother.
“How long have you been out here?” she asked Marian with a heavy sigh.
“Five days. But don’t worry, the River Boys brought me fresh water to drink and plenty of berries to eat. Though I was truly glad when Trevor came around to give me some company and this book here. Those River Boys don’t want to talk about anything but swimming.” She dropped her voice to a loud whisper. “And you know they can’t read, so…”
She gave her head a pitying shake, then brightened up with a thought. “Maybe you should teach them like you did Daddy.”
“I could teach them, too!” Trevor volunteered.
“What a good boy,” Marian said, giving him a fond smile. “Who would have thought you and that young Grant would make such a good boy?”
She then looked over Willa’s shoulder at Sawyer. “You grew up rather well for Greenlee stock, Sawyer Grant. They always were a snaky lot, those. Bunch of alcoholics birthing more alcoholics. And believe me, I did not have high hopes for you in high school, but ‘No, no, we are free to change. And love changes us’ as Walter Mosley said in Blue Light. And the spirits assure me you’ve undergone a sea change since having relations with my daughter.”
Willa could almost feel Sawyer’s disquiet at this point. Could almost hear his mind yelling, My God, this whole family is completely certifiable.
But instead of saying that out loud, he stepped around Willa and said, “Alright, Ms. Marian. Let’s get you out of here.”
Sawyer bent down and picked her up easily. These days she couldn’t have weighed more than one hundred pounds.
Marian batted her eyes at him like the irrepressible flirt she used to be.
“Oh, who would have ever thought that one day a Greenlee boy would be carrying little ol’ me out of these woods—and alive, too. Folks will be talking about this for months!”
“Mama, this isn’t really anything to be proud of,” Willa said, taking Trevor’s hand as she fell into step beside Sawyer.
“That’s true, I suppose,” Marian answered with an airy sigh. “People don’t care so much about that old story these days. And even if they did, it’ll get upstaged when you two get married.”
“Mama and Daddy are getting married?” Trevor asked excitedly.
“Yes, dear, in the fall, right under your grandfather’s willow tree—you know that’s why I named her Willa,” she said, looking up at Sawyer. “Because that’s where she was conceived. As Albert Schweitzer wrote, ‘The willow that bends to the tempest often escapes better than the oak that resists it’—you would have thought with a name like that she’d be more accepting of her nature. But alas, she’s always been scared of herself, so she pretended to be an oak. But that’s all over now, right dear?”
Willa didn’t answer. Just looked up at Sawyer who was walking, eyes dead ahead, as if he were on some kind of grim mission, not merely carrying her mother back to Willa’s car.
Willa decided then to ask that they give her mom a head scan, too, when they got to the hospital. Because obviously she was truly confused. After what he’d just witnessed, Willa was pretty sure the only kind of commitment Sawyer would be making where she was concerned would involve an asylum.
21
Her mother looked so serene now. Like a bird at rest.
Willa watched her sleep in the hospital bed, her wooly head tucked into her shoulder, her thin chest rising up and down. If not for the IV drip in her arm and the leg they’d put in traction, a passerby would never have guess she’d just been through such a harrowing experience.
But then again, there were no ghosts in this room, Willa noted. No wonder she looked so at peace. This hospital room was probably the quietest place she’d slept in years.
Willa wished she could feel the same. No, there weren’t any ghosts to contend with in this room, but Sawyer would be waiting for her outside. And they had a lot to talk about.
Maybe her mother had had it right all along, she thought as she dropped a kiss on the sleeping woman’s forehead and left the room. Unlike Willa, she’d never put a mask on her crazy. She’d let the whole world in on it, and therefore it came as no surprise to anyone when she talked to ghosts or landed in hospital with an impossible story of how she’d managed to stay alive and pretty well-hydrated for five days out in the woods by herself.
And because so many of the nurses still knew her mother at the hospital, no one would be calling in Social Services to deal with her. Quite frankly, many of her old co-workers were surprised it had taken this long for her to land in here. And thanks to Willa’s own battle with the stomach flu, she had the perfect excuse as to why her mother had managed to go missing for so long. No need to involve the authorities.
The perfect excuse for the hospital staff, but not for the man waiting for her in the visiting area, Willa noted as she made her way down the long hallway.
And she wasn’t surprised at all to find he’d been joined by his father and brother when she came out to the open lounge. Trevor was curled up on the waiting room bench, with his head in his father’s lap. But the three Grant men remained fully awake, and they sat on three sides of the large square coffee table, talking in low, urgent voices. It felt like walking in on some kind of important conference meeting.
However, all talk came to an abrupt stop as soon as she came up to the table.
“Hi,” she said into the tense silence.
Neither Sawyer nor his father answered, but Josh Grant gave her a
tight nod.
“How is your mother?” he asked.
“Fine. They’re keeping her overnight, but they think she’ll be able to come home tomorrow. The biggest thing is she’s going to need some PT for her leg after she gets out.”
“I suppose that makes her lucky to have you as a daughter,” Josh said carefully, as if he were torn between sympathy and deciding exactly how to use all of this against her in court.
“Yes, I suppose so,” she answered just as carefully.
“Have you heard from that sister of yours yet?” The Admiral asked, his voice clipped with judgment.
As inconvenient as her sister’s disappearance had been, Willa felt compelled to defend her. Sure Thel hadn’t been there for them this time, but for five years, she’d been the best alternative co-parent a woman could ask for. “Actually she’s out of town for a while, or else she would have been here.”
“Well, did she say anything about when she’d be back? Or does she expect you to take care of your mother alone?”
From the way he said it, Willa could tell The Admiral didn’t think her up to the job.
“My mother is perfectly capable of mostly taking care of herself,” she shot back, defending Marian for what was quite possibly the first time in her entire life. “She’s not mentally incompetent, she just fell down in a bad place, like people of all ages do every day in America. I can make sure she has what she needs until she’s back up on her feet. Thel doesn’t have to come back here to help.”
Also, from the gist of that note, Willa got the feeling her sister couldn’t come back. Even if she wanted to. Something was making her stay away for a while, and though Willa wanted to figure out what—and more importantly how to help her sister—she knew she’d have her hands full over the next few months.
“I don’t know about that, young lady. How are you expected to—”
“Mr. Grant with all due respect, it’s been a long day and I’m really tired. So unless, you three have already gotten a court order, I’m going to be taking my son home now.”
Six hours must not have been enough time for them to buy off a judge yet, because several looks were exchanged in the silence that followed her statement.
“Okay, then,” she said, and started to where Trevor was sleeping
on Sawyer’s lap.
But Sawyer shook his head before she could come around the table. “No need to wake him up, he’s had a long day,” he said. “I’ll carry him out to the car. Get the both of you home.”
If he’d made the offer in any other way, she would have insisted on getting Trevor out of there by herself. But the truth was, she was truly exhausted at this point and Trevor was heavy. She didn’t necessarily want to wake him from his much-deserved sleep, but she also couldn’t carry him all the way back to her car by herself.
Sawyer took the decision out of her hands by picking up the little boy and nestling him against his chest.
“C’mon,” he said to her. “Let’s go.”
So they left. And she knew she’d made the right decision when Trevor stayed asleep, barely stirring even when Sawyer went to put him in the seat.
Seeing her son curled up in his booster seat, looking more content than he had in weeks, made it too hard to protest when Sawyer got into the driver’s seat. He pulled out the keys he’d never given back and stuck them in the ignition. Meanwhile, she climbed into the passenger seat, too tired to fight with him.
SHE PASSED OUT almost before she was fully buckled in.
“She tired,” Trevor said in the backseat when he woke halfway through the trip. His voice was lined with more sympathy than Sawyer would have thought a boy his age capable.
But he was rethinking a lot of things he thought possible today.
He once again tested the stated weight limits on his prosthesis when they got back to the house. Could almost hear Willa’s voice inside his head, chastising him for carrying her inside like a baby instead of waking her up and letting her walk in by herself.
Luckily she was too out of it to complain. But not nearly as bad as before. She nuzzled her head into his chest as he carried her inside, as if she was content as content could be.
He settled her on the Victorian chaise in the grand room and then spent the rest of the day letting her sleep. Hanging out with Trevor and checking on her every so once in a while.
“Stop worrying, Daddy,” Trevor told him in that five-going-on-crazy-old-lady way of his. “She’s fine now. Everything’s going to be okay. Grandma said.”
Grandma said…
He still didn’t know how to process what had happened today. So instead he focused on Trevor, who seemed to actually know how to be a kid when it came to enjoying age-appropriate activities. He nearly lost his shit when Grace brought out a simple game of Chutes and Ladders from their old toy closet. And he acted like the one episode of some cartoon called Paw Patrol that Sawyer found for him to watch while he made them dinner was the best thing he’d ever seen in his entire young life.
“So much better than Old Yeller!” he proclaimed, sliding into his chair in the dining room.
He began stuffing bites of omelet into his face before Sawyer even got a chance to sit down in the chair kitty corner to his. Only to suddenly stop eating and say, “Sorry, Other Grandma.”
Then he turned apologetic eyes to Sawyer and said, “Sorry for eating before you was done sitting down at the table.”
His mother had died a long time ago, but one of the things he still remembered clearly was her chastising him whenever he dared to so much as grab a piece of bread before everyone was seated and ready to eat.
And now, sitting with his son in the same French Baroque-meets-Southern-charm dining room where his family regularly dined before she died, Sawyer shivered.
He’d been feeling chilled a lot today. In fact, a few times he’d left Trevor’s side to grab a jacket, only to discover it was just as hot as it always was inside the large, barely air-conditioned house as soon as he was out of his son’s vicinity.
The shivery feeling got even worse during Trevor’s bed time. however. Sawyer felt like he was sitting next to a large block of ice as he tucked his son into the bed in Josh’s old room.
“You and Uncle Josh was soldiers?” he asked, looking at all the early SEAL regalia on Josh’s walls, including posters for the movies, Navy SEALs and The Rock.
“We were SEALs,” Sawyer gently corrected him. Pulling the covers up to his chin.
“Can I be a SEAL when I grow up?”
It surprised Sawyer how much he wanted to say no. How his heart constricted at just the thought of him getting hurt or worse.
“It’ll be okay, I think, but I’ll ask Grandma just in case,” Trevor said, as if reading his mind. Then before Sawyer could take too long to wonder about that strange statement, he asked. “Do you miss your leg?”
He must have been getting tired himself, because instead of deflecting the leg-related question as he usually did, he said, “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”
“It misses you, too. So does Other Grandma. I wish you could see them.”
And the shiver felt even closer now, as if the block of ice was laying a hand on his shoulder.
“Okay,” he said, more than ready to change the subject. He picked up one of the books Grace had dug out before she left. “How about I read you this old Dr. Seuss book of mine?”
“That’s okay,” Trevor answered blithely. “I promised Other Grandma she could read it to me.”
So obviously there was a lot on Sawyer’s mind after he finally got in a shower. A lot to think about as he came down the stairs to check on Willa once again. Surprisingly his gi—leg—just his leg—he mentally corrected himself, thinking back to his conversation with Willa in the kitchen. But despite the long day, he was surprised his leg wasn’t giving him any issues whatsoever. Almost as if it one hundred percent approved of every single thing he’d done today…
Sawyer stopped short when he got to the lower part of the stairs. His father was there, waiting on the bottom step.
He was wearing the same khaki and polo combination he’d had on when he and Josh had come to the hospital to have that final campaign powwow. But Quentin looked different somehow. More like a grandpa, and less like the all-powerful authority figure who’d ruled over his life for as long as Sawyer could remember.
“Dad,” he said. “What are you doing here?”
“I rang the doorbell,” Quentin answered stiffly, “No one answered, so I let myself in. But I heard the shower going, and I saw you had company.”
He nodded over at Willa’s sleeping figure on the couch.
Which still didn’t answer Sawyer’s question. “Grace isn’t here,” he informed his father. “She left hours ago.”
“I know that,” his father snapped. “We had dinner tonight, and I just finished dropping her off at her place in Richmond.”
Sawyer arched an eyebrow, “And you came all the way back here to…what? Get all your campaign stuff back?”
His father shook his head. “I haven’t been the best father to you. I know that. But I wish…” To Sawyer’s astonishment a sad look passed over his father’s face and he actually sound wistful as he said, “I wish you could see me in a better light, Son. I came here because a lot happened today, and I wanted to check in on you. Make sure you’re okay.”
Sawyer had no idea what to say to this, which was probably why he ended up taking a seat on the stairs and confessing, “I’m not sure I’m okay, Dad. Like you said, a lot happened today.” His eyes strayed to Willa’s sleeping figure. “But we’re all safe now. Under the same roof.”
His father came to sit down next to him on the step. “And that makes you…” The Admiral said this next word like it was a foreign object in his mouth. “…happy?”
Sawyer thought about the question for a few beats and then answered, “Yeah. Yeah, I guess it does. I know it’s not the life you would have chosen for me.”
“Son, please don’t concern yourself with what I want. I’m a foolish old man who’s been letting pride keep him from being happy for nearly all his life.”
His father stared off into the distance as he told Sawyer, “Foolish pride made me yell at your mother and send her away to all those rehab centers in California instead of taking the time
to get her the help she really needed. Foolish pride kept me from telling Grace how I felt about her all these years, and it made me push you and your brother too damn hard.”
He broke off and turned his head to look at Sawyer. “You know that’s why Grace got upset and quit on me. Because I wouldn’t visit you in Germany. I didn’t want to see you like that. Weak and in a coma, like your mother before she...”
The Admiral swallowed back that terrible memory and continued on with, “I told Grace I’d do everything for you as soon as you woke up, but that wasn’t good enough for her.
“She badgered me and badgered me about it. And eventually she quit, saying she didn’t want to continue working for someone everyone else treated like hero, when she knew I was a coward. She even said your accident was my fault on her way out. We had a long talk about that tonight—now she says she was out of her mind with worry and didn’t really mean it. But…part of me knew she was right. I pushed you to join the SEALs. Even negotiated behind the scenes to make sure you got put on rescue missions because those make such great stories on the campaign trail.
“Then your helicopter went down. And you lost your leg. All because my cronies and I thought it’d be a good idea to make sure you got some of the credit for rescuing those aid workers…”
“Dad, that was a good mission,” Sawyer found himself saying. “And you know, I wasn’t just in the SEALs because you told me to enlist. I would have given up two legs if it meant getting those good people out of there in one piece. And the rest of my team did that despite our helicopter going down. I’m proud of that mission, even if all of me didn’t make it home.”
His dad opened his mouth to respond, but Sawyer said, “No, let me finish. I’ve been blaming you for a lot of things. For sticking me with a political career I didn’t want. For making it hard for me to pursue the relationship I really did want with Willa. But I shouldn’t have ever blamed you for pushing me too hard. It’s always been on me to start being the man I know I am, instead of the boy who did whatever you told him to do. I’m ready to live my own life now, and I’ve got you to partially thank for that. Because you taught me the hard way how to push back.”
His Everlasting Love: 50 Loving States, Virginia Page 15