by Clare Revell
Luke swallowed hard. “I see.”
“One of each. Ye can both come and see them if ye wish.”
He hesitated.
“They can ring up tae SCBU as soon as there is any news.”
“Scboo?” Luke looked at her. “What’s that?”
“It’s the special care baby unit. Intensive care for newborns.”
“All right, we’ll come.”
****
Standing by the incubators, Luke found himself hit by an overwhelming rush of love and responsibility for the two tiny babies inside them. He pushed it aside. They weren’t his and never would be. “They’re so tiny. What do they weigh?”
“Yer son is one pound three ounces, and yer daughter one pound two ounces. Have ye decided on names?”
He shook his head. “No. It’s not my decision. You should ask their mom.”
“Mr. Nemec, ye really should think about having them christened.”
Luke caught his breath. “Christened?”
“They are both very poorly. You need tae name them.”
“Their mom…Sara, wouldn’t want them christened. She, uh, that is, we’re Baptist.” He shot Mary an agonized glance. “What do I do?”
“We wait for her to wake up. And pray.”
****
Luke perched on the edge of chair, unable to get comfortable, his cold coffee by his feet. He stared at the stark white walls, catching the tinsel across the desk and the tree with festive lights in the corner. An angel hung from one of the windows, twisting in the breeze from the air conditioning. It had never seemed less like Christmas.
Footsteps echoed, and Luke glanced up, expecting to see nursing staff again. He straightened, stunned by the two men approaching. One definitely a cop and the other, appeared lost and tired after his long flight—Dad. So much had happened in the past few hours Luke had totally forgotten about him coming to visit.
“Dad.” Luke stood and they hugged tightly. After a moment, he broke off. “Dad, this is Sara’s aunt, Mary Daniels. Mary, this is my father, Jacob Nemec.”
Mary held out a hand and smiled. “Pleased to meet you.”
Jacob shook her hand. “Likewise.”
Luke turned his attention to the officer standing there. “Hello.”
The officer held out a hand. “I’m DS Justin Mackenzie. I’ve been assigned tae protect ye until things calm down.”
Luke shook his hand. “Let’s hope you do a better job at protecting people than I did.”
****
Half an hour later, Luke sat on the orange plastic chair half asleep. He jerked wide awake as the footsteps came across and stopped next to him. “Mr. Nemec?”
“Yes?”
The man in green scrubs sat next to him. “I’m Mr. McKenna. I’m the surgeon who operated on yer wife.”
“How is she?”
“She survived the surgery. She had a massive hemorrhage, which took a while tae stop. She’s currently in ITU. It took a while tae get her settled.”
“She’s going to be all right?”
“She’s seriously ill. It’s tae early tae be sure. The next few hours will tell.”
Luke sagged in his chair, his skin growing cold and numb. “Can I see her?”
“Of course. I’ll take ye up now.”
“Thank you.” Luke rose and followed the doctor, his dad and Mary close beside him.
31
Luke took one look at the motionless figure on the bed. Sara was as white as the sheet she lay on. Wires and tubes ran everywhere, pouring liquid in and taking it away. Machines surrounded her, even breathing for her.
He turned ran from the room, hurtling down the corridor towards the exit, ignoring the running footsteps behind him.
Pushing open the doors, he ran through, gasping, his chest heaving. His breath frosted in the freezing air. Church bells rang across the snow covered town. Tears burned in his eyes, turning to ice on his cheeks.
His dad pulled the collar of his coat up against the cold. “Luke?”
Luke watched the birds fly and swoop overhead across the early morning sky. “I can’t sit there and watch her die, Dad.”
“She needs you.”
Luke shoved his hands deep into his pockets. “I can’t keep pretending I’m her husband. They want me to name her babies, sign forms. I had to sign the consent form for the c-section. Dad, if she dies, it’s my fault.”
His father put a hand on Luke’s arm. “You stop right there. It’s not your fault. Eclampsia could have happened anyway, whether you had been with her or not. You have to forget about that and concentrate on the here and now. Convince her to stay. You have to.”
“Her ‘dead’ husband was the one behind all this. He was Oscar, groomed her, stalked her, and married her to kill her.” Luke put speech marks around the word dead, anger making his voice shake. “When I got there, he had her tied to the bed with a gun pointed at her head.”
He took a deep breath. “During the rescue she somehow got ahold of his gun. They struggled. It went off and killed him. His finger was on the trigger, but she may still blame herself for his death and for being taken in by him. What has she got to live for?”
“Those twins need her, you need her. Whatever else happened, she will have to deal with. Now get in there and sit with her.”
“But, Dad…”
“No, Luke, no buts. It’s the right thing to do. You know that. Go talk to her. She knows the sound of your voice. Son, it’s not an easy thing to do, but you have to do this. If you abandon her now, you will never forgive yourself. She’s in God’s hands, you both are. And He hasn’t abandoned either of you.”
Luke sucked in a deep breath. “And if God hasn’t given up, then I can’t either.” He hugged his dad hard. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Let’s go back in.”
****
Luke jerked awake as someone touched his arm. “What is it?”
The nurse smiled. “Ye should go home, Luke. Ye need tae rest properly. Sleeping in the chair here won’t help.”
“I’m fine.” He straightened in the chair next to Sara’s bed and stretched. “How is she?”
“She’s doing better. She opened her eyes a little while ago, so we lightened the sedation and took her off the ventilator. It shouldn’t be long before she wakes.”
“That’s good.”
“Yer folks went back tae yer place. They said they would see ye later.”
“What’s the time? What day is it?”
“Just gone eleven in the morning and it’s still Christmas Day.”
Luke pushed a hand through Sara’s hair. “We had plans for today. This possibility never entered the equation.”
“Babies are notorious for their unpredictability.” The nurse handed him two photos. “SCBU sent these down for ye. They are gorgeous babies. Have ye named them yet?”
“No. Sara didn’t choose any names.” He set the photos on the top of the locker and took Sara’s hand. He sat there for a bit, plucking up the courage to put his feelings into words. “I don’t know if you can hear me, hon, but now I can get a word in edgeways, I have something to say.”
As he spoke the monitors beeped quietly. “I know the past few weeks haven’t been easy for you, what with the move, the tension between us, and so on. Part of it is my fault, and I am so sorry for that.”
Luke stroked her hand as he spoke. “I needed to protect you. I have been…harsh with you. I know that. I’m sorry. The thing is, Sara, I love you. I have since the moment I first saw you. There, I said it. I love you, Sara Daniels, and I want to marry you. Don’t leave me now. I need you. Your children…our babies…need you. Please stay. I love you, Sara.”
Sara’s eyes flickered.
“Sara, hon?”
Sara’s fingers slowly closed on his, and she opened her eyes. “Hi.”
“Hey,” Luke said, overwhelming joy running through him. He raised her fingers to his lips and kissed them. “You’re awake.”
“Is it really you or am I dreaming?”
<
br /> “Yeah, hon, it’s really me. How are you feeling?”
“Hurts. Where am I?”
“In the hospital. You had surgery last night.”
“I remember a gun. Was I shot?”
“No, hon, you weren’t shot. You collapsed. You were very ill. They had to do a caesarean section.”
Confusion filled Sara’s eyes. “They’re not due yet.”
“I know. They were born very early this morning. Christmas Day babies. They’re in special care. They’re very tiny and quite sick, but they look like you.”
Wonder filled her voice. “I’m a mother. Are they boys or girls? What’re their names?”
Luke grinned. “One of each, and babies don’t come with names. You have to choose those.” He picked up the photos and gave them to her. “They asked me to name them, but I wanted to wait for you.”
She ran her fingers over each one and began to cry. “So tiny. They don’t stand a chance.”
Luke gathered her in his arms, mindful of her scar and the tubes and wires. “It’s all right. They’re fighters like their mom.”
“I can’t do it. How can I be a single mother?”
“You’ll do fine. You’ll have lots of help.”
“Not what I need, though.” Sara yawned.
“What do you need, Sara?”
Her head tilted to one side, and her eyes closed. Luke put a hand to her neck and relaxed as he felt her pulse, strong and steady. He sat back in the chair and waited for her to wake again.
****
It was midafternoon before Sara woke. She was alone. Had she dreamed Luke being there?
The nurse came over to change the dressings. “Yer husband will be back in a minute. Luke has hardly left yer side since they brought ye in.”
Sara smiled, and then winced as the nurse checked the incision. “Everything’s so hazy. I thought I dreamt him being here.”
“We tried tae make him go home, but he refused. I’ve been doing this over twenty years now, and never met a husband as dedicated as him. He loves ye so very much. He kept telling ye that all night.”
Sara’s heart leapt. He loved her…but would he tell her now she was awake?
“He’ll be right back. He went tae find a wheelchair. OK, all done.”
The door opened, and Luke came in pushing a wheelchair. “Hey, Sara.”
“Hey, yourself.” Sara eyed the chair with suspicion. “What’s that for?”
“You’re taking a trip.”
His arm slid around her, and her face creased as she moved. “Argh!”
“I’m sorry.” Luke moved her as gently as he could until she sat upright. “All right?”
“Uh huh.” Her breath came in sharp gasps between clenched teeth. He wrapped her dressing gown around her and gently lifted her into the chair.
“Where are we going?”
“Special care baby unit. There are two small people desperate to meet you.”
In spite of the pain, Sara smiled. “My babies.”
“Our babies,” he corrected, winking behind the nurse’s back.
Sara felt a sudden deep longing, hoping he meant that. Could they be a…family?
The nurse finished arranging the tubes and wires and covered Sara’s legs with a blanket. She hung the IV on the stand and injected drugs into it. “That will help with the pain. Dinna be any longer than twenty minutes. Sara needs tae rest.”
“OK.” Luke started to push the chair to the door. They reached the lift in silence.
“Have you thought about names?” Luke asked as the lift came. “They are bound to ask.”
“I have a couple of possibilities.”
Luke pushed the chair into SCBU and over to the twins’ incubators.
The midwife smiled. “Hi. Ye must be Mum. I’d recognize Dad anywhere.”
Sara’s eyes were caught by the tiny babies in the incubators. “Are they real? Are they mine?”
Luke laughed. “Yep, hon, they’re really ours.”
Sara put her hand on the incubator. “Hi, baby.”
The baby moved at the sound of her voice and opened his eyes.
“Hello, gorgeous.” Sara’s voice trembled with wonder.
The midwife opened the hand hole in the side. “Touch him.”
Sara slid her hand into the incubator and stroked the baby’s hand gently with her finger. She gasped as the baby instinctively grasped it. Tears slid down her face. “I’m a mother.”
She glanced at the other incubator and noticed her daughter was also awake and looking at her. She opened the hatch and stroked her daughter’s hand, too. She smiled up at Luke. “They are gorgeous.”
The midwife smiled at her. “Have ye got names for them? Yer husband said it was up tae ye tae name them, which is nice. Most men would be only tae pleased tae be given free reign. We had one baby named after a famous football player a couple of weeks ago.”
Sara laughed, and then winced, putting a hand over her stomach and holding it. She took a sharp breath. “I don’t think Luke knows any footballer’s names, so there are no worries on that score.”
“Excuse me,” Luke protested. “I’ll have you know we play soccer and one of your Brits plays for one of the LA soccer teams.”
“That’s football, not soccer, hon.”
“Soccer.”
Had he missed what she’d said? She shook her head, teasing him. “Football.”
“Soccer, soccer, soccer. Football is something totally different.”
“What you call football is rugby for wimps. Rugby is played by real men who don’t need padded clothing and helmets.”
Luke laughed. “So, you naming these children today or not, hon?”
Sara smiled. “I’d like to name her after Susie and your mum.”
Luke’s jaw dropped. “Hon?”
She held his gaze. “What was her name?”
“Jennifer…but…”
“Jennifer Susan it is.”
Luke’s eyes glistened, for once seeming lost for words. “Thank you.”
Sara looked at the other baby. “I originally thought Jamie, but now?” She glanced at Luke. “You choose.”
Taken aback, Luke shook his head. “I can’t do that, Sara. He’s not…It wouldn’t be right.”
“Why not? I named her, only fair you name him. Please, Luke. I’d like you to.”
Luke stood in silent thought for a moment then said “Joshua.”
Sara smiled. Wow…dad’s name…does he know? “I like that. Joshua. Thank you.”
“No, hon, thank you.”
Sara turned to the midwife. “Joshua Luke.”
Luke’s jaw dropped. “Sara...”
“Luke…” she replied in the same tone.
“Thank you. No one ever named a baby after me before.” They sat for a while then he glanced at the clock. “I should take you back. The nurse said twenty minutes, and we’re way over that. You can come back tomorrow and stay longer.”
Back on the ward Luke lifted Sara into bed. “You all right?”
“I’m tired, but happy. The babies are gorgeous.”
“Just like their mom.” Luke sat on the bed and took her hand. “Earlier, you said help wasn’t what you needed. Remember?”
“Yeah.”
“So what do you need?”
“You, I need you, Luke. I love you.” She held her breath. Would he tell her? Or had she burnt all her bridges?
Before Luke could answer, a voice came from the end of the bed. “Lieutenant Nemec?”
She closed her eyes. No….
Luke sighed. “Hey, Justin.”
“This is DCI Meadows. He’s DCI Shepherds replacement.”
Luke held out his hand. “Sir.”
Meadows shook it. “Pleased tae meet ye. I need a word. Can we talk?”
“Sure. I’ll be back in a while, hon. We’ll finish this conversation then.” He grabbed his coat. “I promise.”
“OK. I’ll wait right here.”
“Sounds like a p
lan.” He stood then turned and whispered in her ear. “I love you, too. Let me go talk to the boss, and I’ll be right back.” His lips brushed her cheek, then he left.
32
By the time Luke finished talking to the new DCI, Sara was asleep. No longer needing the police protection himself, he asked Justin to take him home to collect the car. Luke walked up the snowy path and sank down on the step to think, heedless of the snow and bitter cold.
Meadows final words played over and over in his mind. It was the last thing he had expected to hear. His tired mind tried to make sense of it all.
Lord, I messed up big time, and don’t deserve this. What do I do? I know how I feel about Sara and I know how she feels about me, but after all that happened. And with Jamie being Oscar... she might never get over this.
He let out a deep audible breath, watching the way it hung in the frosty air. I’m tired, can’t think straight. I hand it all over to You, Lord. Your will be done.
The front door opened before him, a shaft of light streaming onto the dark street. “Luke Jonathan Nemec, what are you doing?”
“Thinking. I came back to get the car.”
“Well, since you’re here, and with your usual impeccable timing, dinner’s being dished up. So get indoors and go wash up, then come and eat.”
“Anyone would think I was twelve years old again, Dad.”
Jacob grinned. “Then don’t act like it. Three minutes. Mary’s gone to a lot of trouble to cook tonight.”
Luke went inside and hung his coat in the hall. He changed into dry clothes and dutifully washed before going into the kitchen for dinner. “Hey, Aunt Mary.”
Her smile lit her eyes. “I’ll give you Aunt Mary.”
Luke hugged her. “I’d rather you gave me dinner, but Aunt Mary’s fine.” He sat down. Reaching across the table, he joined hands with them as his dad said grace.
Raising her head, Mary studied him. “You seem happy. How’s Sara doing?”
Luke picked up his knife and fork and smiled. “Yeah, I am. She’s good. Everything’s going to be all right. The babies…we named them Jennifer Susan and Joshua Luke.”
His dad’s face lit up. “Really?”