“Mom and Dad will be disappointed if you don’t take it.”
Kira shot her a look. “They already know about it?”
“Everyone does. Aunt Leonna, Aunt Tullie, Aunt—”
“You know,” Kira blurted, shaking her head, “I’m sick of trying to predict what will impress everyone. I don’t care anymore.” A fresh wave of guilt swept in, reminding Kira that her sister had apologized mere moments ago. That was all well and good, but it didn’t make her decision any easier.
“If Anthony loves you, he’ll understand,” Marissa said.
Quiet crept into the car. A suffocating blackness that made her want to scream aloud just to prove that she could. Instead, she reached over and gave the radio knob a push with her fist. A loud, angst-filled song blasted from the speakers, satisfying the part of Kira that felt like a trapped animal.
She fixed her eyes on the dark road. Her side of the lane. Her side of the lane. She needed to just stay on her side of the lane. Forget about clearing the family’s name. For once, Kira needed to do the safe thing. Even if she would regret letting the opportunity pass.
Chapter 20
Anthony stared at the lampshade in the front room as he heard Kira pull into his driveway. The car door slammed shut, but no footsteps sounded. He tilted his head to better listen as a knock tapped at the door.
“Come in,” he said cautiously. This was how he felt when he’d gone in to hear his father’s diagnosis. And then his prognosis. Terrified, exhausted, and ill to the core. Kira’s phone call had put him there in an instant. She’d sounded so frantic. So… broken, it was hard not to know what she might say.
The screen door creaked as she pulled it open and stepped in, one puffy sock-covered foot at a time. Which explained the lack of footfalls outside. His gaze moved up the length of her. Baggy sweats. A worn tee shirt. Red-rimmed eyes and blotchy cheeks. “Hi,” she said, in a hoarse voice.
He’d planned to stay in place. Sit on the lounge chair while Kira said what she had to say. But as soon as their eyes met, the weight of her dilemma, whatever it was, sank into his heart like a millstone.
Anthony shot to a stand and crossed the floor, wrapping his arms solidly around her.
“I needed this so bad.” Her warm, tiny frame jerked and heaved as she fought for the words. “I never want to leave you, Anthony. Ever.”
He clenched his eyes shut, took in those wonderful words, and sighed. “That’s good,” he mumbled. “Because I never want you to leave.” He ran his jaw along the side of her face. And while her skin was flushed and hot, the tears on her cheeks felt cold to the touch. Heaven help him, he loved this woman, hated seeing her hurt. And dreaded asking the words at his lips.
“What happened?”
She pulled back, eyed him as her lips quivered, and shook her head. “Sorry I’m such a wreck,” she said before blowing out a slow breath. Her shoulders stopped trembling as she repeated the action a second time. “They presented me with a new offer to travel with them and take runway pictures. Monty’s going through some rehab program where he’s trying to right his past wrongs. They both are, actually. And of course, I’m one of the people they wronged. I guess he finally came clean about stealing the images I shot in Milan.”
“Wow, that’s terrific,” Anthony said, but his insides didn’t seem to agree. He motioned to the sitting area. You can handle this, he assured himself. Just relax and listen.
He settled into the center of the couch while Kira plopped onto the leather footrest adjacent to him. She scooted to the edge, slipping her knees between his legs so they were close. Face to face.
“How did he propose to make things right?” Anthony asked.
Another slow breath. A few dabs at her face with a bunched-up tissue. “He and Finny wrote up some offer for me to… I guess you’d say go on tour with them. They have a fashion tour coming up, and they want me to shoot the runway pictures.”
Anthony nodded. He could handle this. If his body were a planet of its own, ninety percent of it was calm and collected. But a small portion—that other ten percent—was fighting back an underlying tremor. One that could prove destructive if it got out of hand. He wouldn’t let it.
“That was nice of them to offer,” he said, circling a thumb over her shoulder. “But how could you trust that they wouldn’t do the same thing?”
She locked eyes with him and shook her head. “They, it’s not like that. But Anthony, it doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t go.”
He grinned. Liking the sound of that. Yet as he ran his hands down the outside of her arms, leaned in to kiss her lips, something she’d said stood out to him: She hadn’t said that she didn’t want to go, only that she shouldn’t. Those were two very different things.
A hot ache stirred in his chest, and Anthony knew… he knew he couldn’t leave it there. The tremor took over another ten percent. “What do you mean by shouldn’t?” He gulped, willing her not to say she’d stay behind for him. He needed her to stay because she wanted to.
“I mean,” she paused… shook her head. “You’ve been through so much already. If I went, even if I came right back when I was done, which I totally would, of course, it wouldn’t be fair to make you worry that way.”
That’s all it took. There was a full-on earthquake taking over now. He drew back. “So you’d stay back for me?”
She shook her head, just subtly, her brow furrowing. “Of course.”
She said it like it’s what he’d wanted to hear. Like he hadn’t watched his mother walk out of his life after taking one for the team and sticking it out as long as she good. “Do me a favor now, and then resent me later. Right?”
Kira’s eyes went wide. “No. That’s not… it wouldn’t be like that at all.”
Anthony rose to his feet, resignation kicking in strong. “But that’s where you’re wrong. Because I’ve already been through this. I already know how this ends. You stay. You resent me. You end up leaving for good.”
“Well then tell me what you want me to do?” The look on Kira’s pretty face was tortured. Pleading. “Please… just tell me.”
Anthony walked over to the door, hurt replacing anger as he twisted the knob and tugged it open. “Kira, we both know you want to leave,” he said. “So just leave.” The words came out calm, but final.
Kira glared at him, shook her head, then bolted out the door.
He didn’t walk her to her car. Didn’t kiss her goodnight. Or even kiss her goodbye. But mentally, Anthony knew that—for her sake and his—telling Kira goodbye was exactly what he had to do.
Kira couldn’t remember feeling hurt like this. She replayed Anthony’s words in her head, accompanied by the anger on his face. Do me a favor now, and resent me later.
She spun onto her back, stared up at a streak of moonlight peering through her blinds, and smeared the tears on her face. It was no use; a stream of new ones took their place. The heartache of it all just too much to take.
It’s what she’d feared most. Anthony taking things the wrong way. Only it’d gone worse than she feared. He hadn’t even given her a way out. A new ache tore at her heart, hot and sharp. He’d built her up—said that he trusted her—and then faltered the first chance he got. Maybe she did deserve it, by being indecisive and unpredictable in the past. But Anthony really had made her believe that he didn’t fear her. So had she betrayed him, or was he the betrayer?
It didn’t matter. As it was, Kira had shut her sister out, telling her that she’d explain how things went in the morning. Maybe by then she’d be able to explain what had happened. For now, all she could feel was hurt.
Chapter 21
“See that spot right there behind you?”
It took Anthony a moment to register what Trent had said. He glanced up to meet his gaze. “What was that?”
“Behind you,” Trent said. “There’s a gap we need to close. Mind tossing a bag onto it?”
“Oh, yeah. No problem.” The sun was barely rising over the pines in the east,
lending light on a new day that Anthony wanted no part of. He trudged back to the truck where Bear Schaefer handed over another sandbag.
“There you go, man. Think we’re just about there.”
“Looks like it,” Anthony agreed, lugging the heavy bag to the place in need. He hunched forward, hovered it over the spot, then let it loose. A quick adjustment with the sole of his boot, and the job was done. He strode back toward the fire station, following the building toward the back lot, and leaned his back against the scratchy brick. What had he done? He hadn’t even heard Kira out. It was like he’d given up before she even told him about the offer.
Still, he had to admit that—as much as it had hurt to push her away—there’d been an element of relief, too. Something he hated admitting even to himself.
“So things didn’t go so well?” Trent asked, joining him behind the building.
“Nope.” Not that his demeanor could hide it. “But I’m starting to think that’s okay, you know? If I don’t have a woman in my life, I don’t have to worry about her leaving.”
“Ah,” Trent said. “I relate to that in a way. You want to know what my biggest setback was with Jessie?”
That caught Anthony’s interest; the couple had seemed to be a perfect match from the start. Minus their firework introduction, of course.
“I was in a car accident as a teenager,” Trent continued. “My younger brother was in the passenger seat. And I just got reckless, you know? Taking a curve too fast.” Trent shook his head, his tone turning quiet. Reverent. “The car rolled over, and he was killed.”
“Man,” Anthony said. “I didn’t know that. I’m sorry…”
Trent nodded. “I told myself that, if I didn’t go off and have the life that I took from him, it’d somehow make up for what I did.”
Anthony glanced over. “Dedicate your life to helping others instead?”
“Yep. Eventually though, with the help of my loved ones and Jessie, too, I realized I could have both. But it’s taken a lot of time for me to get to that point.
“What I’m saying is, you can sit around keeping women out of your life the way I did, but just like me, you won’t be any better off for it. What you’ll be… is alone. And I don’t think you want that either.”
Trent was right. Being alone was the last thing Anthony wanted. “She got an offer to go to Milan and shoot pictures again.”
“For how long?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t let her get that far.”
“My old man would always say, anything worth having comes at a risk,” Trent said. “And that seems to go right along with what you’re facing now. You felt you could trust her, right?”
“Right.”
“So what’s changed? The fact that she got an offer she’d like to consider? That can’t be a crime.”
He was right again, but Anthony didn’t want to say so.
“You’ve heard the whole butterfly thing. You’re supposed to let them go.”
“I’ve let enough women go.”
“If she’s yours,” Trent said, “she’ll come back to you. There’s only one way to find out.”
As he considered that, he recalled the many times he’d had moments of peace and assurance with Kira. Even then, as he heard Trent phrase the question with a big if at the start, Anthony already knew how it would go. He felt in his heart that Kira was meant to be his.
He tugged his phone from his pocket to check the time. “You know what?”
“What’s that?” Trent asked.
“I think you’re right. I better get out to Kira’s.”
“That’s what I’m talking about,” Trent said as Anthony started heading toward his truck.
“Hey,” Anthony said before climbing in. “Thank you.”
Trent grinned. “Any time.”
Knocking on a door at this time of morning was just wrong; there was no getting around it. But Anthony couldn’t risk losing another minute. Who knew if Kira would have cellular service in places like Milan?
A rustle sounded on the other side of the door. The curtain in the front window moved. “I think it’s your boyfriend,” crooned a female voice.
The doorknob jiggled before the entire door swung back wide. And there stood a gal Anthony recognized from Kira’s pictures. She put her hand out.
“You must be Anthony.”
He reached out to shake her hand. “Pleasure. And you must be Marissa.”
She grinned. “I am. Come on in. Kira’s sulking in the tub.”
He lifted a brow. “Soaking?”
“No,” Marissa said. “Sulking. She’s upset about how things went last night, but she has yet to tell me why.” Her hands went to her hips. “The only thing I know is that it has something to do with you.”
Heat flared up in his face. In pictures, it was easy to see the similarities between Kira and her sister. Namely the eyes. But in person, with their personalities as different as they were, they barely resembled one another.
“Well, I’ll just go knock on the door, if you don’t mind. See if I can’t talk with her for a minute.”
Marissa did a sidestep, landing squarely in front of him. “You’re not going to discourage her, are you?”
He grinned, liking the protective nature he saw in Kira’s sister. “No,” he said. “Not if it’s what she wants.” He stepped around her then, moving down the hall to where he tapped on her door. “Kira?”
A loud splash came from the other side of the door. “Anthony?”
“Yes. Can I talk to you?”
A long pause came. “Why?”
“Because I need to apologize. I really messed up last night.”
Another splash came, followed by a loud clatter. Something heavy, possibly metal, tumbling to the ground. “Coming,” she called.
He heard her mumbling next. Something about the stupid towel bar. “I can help you fix that,” he assured.
The door opened, revealing a damp-faced Kira in a pink, fluffy robe. She’d made a towel turban for her head, and he’d be danged if it didn’t look adorable on her. She folded her arms, leaned in the doorway, and lifted her chin.
“I’m sorry for how I reacted yesterday.”
“It’s not a decision I asked to make, Anthony.”
“I know,” he said with a nod.
Her chin quivered. “I would’ve been happier not getting that offer. But I thought it was at least something I could talk to you about. I trusted you.”
Trusted? The word was razor sharp.
“We should’ve been able to discuss that like … two adults who care about each other, but you made me feel like a criminal or something.”
“You’re right.”
She nodded. Sighed while another beat passed. “Yeah, you didn’t even hear me out.”
“I know,” he admitted. “But I’d like to now. If you’ll let me.”
Her shoulders dropped, and she did a half-grin. “Really?”
“Very much. You’re right. It’s something we should discuss... together.”
Hmm… She set her gaze on her bare feet while tapping a toe on the tile. “Will you make me some hot chocolate while I tell you about it?” she asked while glancing up.
Anthony piped back a laugh and grinned. “Absolutely.”
“Kira,” her sister yelled from the front room. “I’m heading to the store now. I’ll be right back.”
Kira held Anthony’s gaze. “Okay,” she hollered, a smile curving one side of her lips. “See you in a few.”
As soon as the front door closed, Anthony pulled Kira into his arms. “Come here.”
Kira returned his embrace, the damp towel pressing against his face as she sighed.
He pulled back, rested his hands on her cheeks, and held her gaze. “I really am sorry,” he said.
Kira nodded, snatched his arm and led him into the kitchen. There, Anthony took over. He guided her to a barstool before snatching the kettle and filling it with fresh water. Once it was heating over the gas fl
ames of her stove, Anthony pulled two mugs from the cupboard. His homemade blend of hot cocoa rested in the copper canister on the baker’s rack. Kira retrieved it for him before he could ask. “Now,” he said. “Tell me everything.”
They sipped on mugs filled with hot cocoa, a layer of whipped cream bobbing along the top, as Kira did just that. There were no interruptions from Anthony this time. No accusations either. He simply listened to the details of the offer before her.
“Anyway,” Kira said, tipping her mug to the side and scraping her spoon along the edge. “I feel a million times better now that I’ve been able to get that off my chest. I honestly… hate the idea of leaving, so it’s easy to say no.” She popped a heap of cream into her mouth.
Anthony was surprised to find that Trent’s words really had started to sink in. Kind of like the moment he’d sat next to Kira by the fireplace and told her—in all honesty—that he wasn’t afraid of the choices she might make. He cleared his throat. “I’m not sure that you need to say no, Kira.”
She yanked the spoon from her mouth. Her face fell flat. “What?” The word sounded angry.
“I’m looking at this offer,” he said, fanning the pages of the documents she’d spread over the counter. “I have a lawyer who can look over it this morning. He’ll make sure the offer’s legit, of course, but if it is… this would be a great opportunity for you.”
“I don’t get it. You think I should go too?”
Anthony could hardly believe it himself. He was really putting his money where his mouth was, as the saying went. But he trusted her. Trusted that here is where she wanted to stay. And she could. After she tied up some loose ends. “I know that you can take this opportunity,” he said. “And that it’s not going to change your mind about what you want to do.” At least, he thought he knew. Hoped. “This is a chance for you to get redemption. You deserve that. Recognition. You deserve that too. Not to mention a pretty nice paycheck. I fully support you. Go spend forty-five awesome days traveling the world and snapping pictures.” He reached his arms across the counter, cupped her hands in his. “And then come back to me. To the life you’ve found here. The one that makes you happy. I’ll be waiting.”
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