by Penny Jordan
‘You’ve had a long day, Frank.’
‘Yer, but the doctor thought I did all right.’
‘You did very well.’ Tilly smiled as she took off her things. ‘I’ll go and say goodnight.’
Molly and Cessie were fast asleep when she went in. She could only see the tops of their heads poking out from under the covers. The sound of soft snores drifted into the air as she closed the door.
In her own room she hurriedly changed from her working clothes into a soft grey dress with long sleeves and black velvet cuffs. She usually wore the dress on Sundays, but for some reason tonight she wanted to look her best.
As she looked into the mirror, at the big blue eyes under a halo of corn-coloured hair, her pale cheeks flamed. Was she really going to be able to call the doctor Harry?
‘I’m falling asleep on me feet,’ Frank told her when she returned. ‘And I’ve got be up early in the morning.’
‘But the doctor’s coming down for supper.’
‘Yer, but I’ve had mine. And I just can’t keep me eyes open. I’ve made up the fire, and Molly said the potatoes is on the stove and the table’s laid out. Goodnight, Miss Tilly.’
‘Goodnight, Frank.’
Tilly felt very strange without the children around. What would she and the doctor—Harry, she reminded herself—have to talk about?
When a tap came on the front door, Tilly felt her heart race as she hurried to open it.
Harry finished his meal. ‘That was excellent, Tilly. Thank you.’
‘Shall we sit by the fire?’
‘I’d like that.’
As Tilly cleared the supper things and prepared a tray of tea, the doctor went to sit in one of the big armchairs by the fire. She watched him make himself comfortable and stretch out his long legs. He was still a little preoccupied. Whilst they had eaten they had talked about Grace and Emily, but she felt he had something else on his mind.
When she joined him, he smiled up at her. ‘You’re spoiling me, Tilly.’
‘You’ve been working very hard.’
‘Not as hard as I would like,’ he replied as she sat down. ‘I’m frustrated at not being able to achieve more.’
Tilly frowned. ‘Whatever do you mean?’
‘I’m only just beginning to know the East End and its people. I can understand my uncle’s desire to be where it matters. Helping those who really need help. Yet I am frustrated, with so little time left…’
Tilly nodded slowly. ‘Yes, of course—your forthcoming marriage.’
‘And now medical practice,’ he added heavily.
‘I’m sure it will be very satisfying.’ She added quickly, ‘Instead of people banging on your door at all times, you’ll have proper hours and a social life.’
He looked at her over the rim of his cup. ‘You know, that was exactly what I dreamed of once. A comfortable home and married bliss. A few rural pursuits—shooting and fishing—evenings spent in leisurely companionship with neighbours and friends.’ He sighed softly, gazing into the fire. ‘But that was long ago, before the war.’
Tilly saw that distant look return to his eyes. She recognised it as the same expression in Stanley Horn’s when he talked about his disability, and in the man they had met at market who made his living from his Bath chair. She had heard from the war veterans she had helped to care for at Hailing House how their lives had been changed. She had seen their wounds and knew the mental scars would never heal. The doctor too, seemed to be living still in a world he could never forget.
‘Time will help,’ she said quietly.
‘Yes, I thought so too.’ He nodded. ‘That was why I travelled and took posts with the government instead of facing the fact that one day I would have to settle down. The ideal could wait, I told myself, until I had rid myself of all memories.’
‘But you haven’t?’
‘Have you forgotten your past, Tilly? Your years at the orphanage, the austerity of your upbringing and the loss of your husband? I think not.’
‘James wouldn’t want me to mourn him for ever. He was a good man. He would urge me to try to find happiness again.’
‘And have you?’
‘I’ve found peace here at Tap House,’ she answered quietly.
‘A peace that has been put under threat since my arrival,’ he said heavily.
‘I can’t expect to stay here for ever.’
‘But you would like to?’
‘Work amongst the poor and needy is very fulfilling.’
‘Yes.’ He nodded. ‘I have found that too.’ He smiled. After a pause he added, ‘There’s so much to be done, with so few resources to do it, yet each day is a challenge and worthwhile. I hope I will be able to say that of my country practice in the years to come.’
Tilly glanced at her companion—at his handsome profile, his high forehead and long, straight nose, and the dark, troubled eyes that were gazing into the fire as if expecting to find the answer there.
A little shiver went down her spine. As he turned slowly to meet her gaze there was something else, an intensity that drew her heartbreakingly towards him.
Heartbreakingly because Tilly knew that soon he, and moments like these, would be gone from her life for ever.
Harry stood alone in his uncle’s surgery. He had just left the warmth and comfort of the airey and Tilly’s calm presence was still with him: her big, soulful eyes that seemed to fill her face, her pale, flawless skin and soft mouth, always turned up in a ready smile. He would have liked to stay longer and enjoy her company. They had discussed so many things that seemed common to both of them.
But then he’d remembered with a little start that he had been thinking more about Tilly and his work here than his forthcoming engagement.
Marriage and a family was what he had always aspired to before the war. Even on the battlefield he had clung to the thought that one day the nightmare would pass and life would be normal again. Whilst he had been trying to repair the shattered bones and broken flesh of the injured troops under the roofs of those flimsy tents pitched not five hundred yards from the Front he had still believed in the future. England again—the green hills of home. A new beginning, far away from the thunder of the guns.
He would forget the wholesale slaughter, the men dying without pain relief. Forget the absence of clean water, dressings and morphine that should have been a man’s right to survival.
Forget and start afresh…that had been his hope.
A long, deep sigh came slowly up from his chest. Gradually he breathed rhythmically again, and the memories sank back like a sly fox into the thicket.
Harry sat down at the desk, took out the letter from the hospital he had received about Grace and Emily and, with determination etched deep on his forehead, began a reply.
It was early on Friday morning when Tilly found an envelope on the mat. She recognised Dr Tapper’s handwriting. Was he coming home at last?
The girls were still in their nightdresses. ‘Who’s it from?’ Molly asked, rubbing her eyes.
‘Dr Tapper.’
‘What’s he say?’ Cessie said, all ears.
‘I don’t know yet.’ Her heart beat fast as she opened the envelope.
‘Is he better?’
‘Is he gonna come back to Tap House?’
Tilly pointed to the table. ‘Sit down and eat your breakfasts while I read it to you.’
‘“My Dear Tilly,”’ she began. ‘“I hope you and the children are keeping well. I’m missing you a great deal and wonder how all my patients are. This ancient body of mine is slow to progress. I would dearly like to be able to say I will return soon, but my hopes for the future have been a little ambitious. In time I shall get stronger, but I understand from Harry that it’s time we don’t have. He is about to become engaged, he tells me. I’m sure my nephew deserves great happiness, and I hope he will find it with Miss Rosalind Darraway. This turn of events, however, makes it necessary for me to do one of two things. I must consider selling Tap House or enga
ge a temporary doctor in my absence. My dear sister tells me I’m a fanciful old man, and that returning to Tap House is out of the question at present. I have therefore instructed the papers in London to advertise for a temporary replacement, and Harry will interview them on my behalf. He will acquaint the successful applicant with your circumstances, and the fact you will assist him as his nurse. My pressing concern is the children’s future. I have therefore written to Lady Felicity Hailing and asked for her help in the matter of their accommodation.”’
Here Tilly stopped reading. Cessie and Molly were staring up at her.
‘What’s acomm—acomma—?’ Cessie stammered.
‘Accommodation is where a person lives.’
‘But we live here!’
‘You won’t always be able to,’ Tilly said gently.
‘Where we gonna go, then?’ The blood had drained from Molly’s face.
‘You can cook now, Molly. If you went to live with a family you would be able to help in a kitchen.’
‘What family?’
‘I’m not sure, but—’ Tilly hadn’t finished before Molly ran off.
Cessie threw her arms around Tilly’s neck. ‘I never wanna leave here, Miss Tilly. I never wanna leave you.’
Tilly nodded. ‘I know that, Cessie.’ But, as much as she yearned to keep the children with her, Tilly knew it was impossible.
When everyone was in bed Tilly read the letter again. Tomorrow she would have to go to Hailing House and speak to Lady Hailing.
CHAPTER SEVEN
LADY FELICITY HAILING had received Dr Tapper’s letter, she told Tilly, but she would like to hear the children’s story again.
Tilly explained how Molly, Cessie and Frank had become orphans, then received cruel treatment at the hands of a distant relative and finally been thrown on the streets.
‘A very distressing beginning to three young lives,’ Lady Felicity said, a kind smile on her aristocratic face. ‘And it was very kind of you to take them in, Tilly. But I’m sure we can find a solution to the problem. There is still a need for domestic help in the bigger houses of the city.’ She turned to Molly. ‘How old are you, my dear?’
‘I’m fourteen next week, ma’am.’ Tilly was relieved to hear Molly responding politely, as Molly had been fiercely against this visit.
‘And I’m seven,’ Cessie said loudly, before being asked.
‘Frank is also fourteen,’ Tilly added.
Lady Felicity nodded. ‘Young, but not too young to be entered for domestic service.’
Tilly glanced at Cessie and Molly. They were still trying to absorb the large, elegant drawing room and the handsome young woman with fair hair and kind eyes who sat in front of them. Felicity Hailing was the eldest daughter of Lord and Lady Hailing, known for their charitable works amongst the poor. Tilly had been very happy to work for them once, and to live at the Hailings’ island residence.
It was here that she had met James, the family’s chauffeur. Dressed in his smart uniform, he had been helping Lady Felicity into the big car when she’d first seen him. Theirs hadn’t been a passionate love, but a friendship that had blossomed. When they had married they had lived in rooms below stairs and had been very content. But when he had died so unexpectedly Tilly had known that her life at Hailing House was over.
Tilly blinked, for a moment lost in bittersweet memories. Then, as she saw the tears brim in Molly’s eyes, she came quickly back to the present.
‘Please don’t be upset, Molly,’ Lady Felicity said gently. ‘Just think—you won’t ever have to live on the streets again.’
‘But I want to live with Tilly.’
Lady Felicity sighed. ‘The best we can do is find you a position with a good family where you’ll make friends with the other staff and be secure. You can always visit Tilly on your day off.’
‘Where will Cessie go?’ Molly asked tearfully.
‘She’s too young to accompany you, my dear. We’ll have to arrange schooling.’
‘You’ll put her in a home, won’t you?’ Molly’s voice rose.
‘I don’t wanna leave me sister,’ Cessie wailed as Molly hugged her tightly.
‘Molly—Cessie, Lady Hailing is doing all she can to help us. It’s very good of her to take such an interest.’
‘I hope I can be of help.’ Lady Felicity smoothed down the fine grey silk of her dress.
‘That’s very kind of you.’
‘What plans have you made for yourself, Tilly? I don’t suppose I could interest you in coming back to us?’
‘Dr Tapper has arranged for me to stay. At least for a short while.’
‘Yes, but will you be happy there without him?’ Lady Felicity asked, although she didn’t wait for an answer. ‘We miss him greatly at Hailing House—almost as much as we miss you. He was always so good with the poor and needy. Now we have no assistance at all for the sick.’ She paused. ‘Perhaps the new physician would like to take up a charitable surgery with us?’
Tilly didn’t know about that. She didn’t know who would come in Harry’s place.
‘I hear young Dr Fleet is very good.’ Lady Felicity arched a curious eyebrow.
‘Yes, he is.’
‘But he is to be married, I hear?’
Tilly nodded.
‘A loss to us all, I’m sure.’
Tilly had at first thought it was a great loss when Dr Tapper had been forced to leave. But now, having come to know Harry, it felt just as bad. She had only known him for two months, and yet it seemed like for ever.
‘I’ll ring for Alice and have tea sent in,’ Lady Felicity said, and she stood up and pulled a long cord by the hearth.
But even the delicious cucumber sandwiches and hot scones couldn’t bring a smile to the girls’ faces. They sat quietly without a word.
All the while Tilly’s mind was in turmoil. What would happen to Cessie? What kind of a family would Molly go to? And what would Frank say when he heard their news?
After tea, Lady Felicity escorted them to the front door.
‘I’ll be in touch with you soon,’ she assured them.
Tilly was relieved the meeting was over. The girls held her hands very tightly as they walked home.
She didn’t want to think of her family being broken up.
But how could she stop it?
That night, the mood in the airey was sombre. After they’d told Frank what had happened, Cessie and Molly went to their room. Frank soon joined them. Instead of the usual noise and laughter coming from behind the bedroom door there was only silence.
Tilly sat by the fire alone. She felt as though she had let them down. What could she do? Her own future was uncertain. Lady Felicity had been very kind, but she couldn’t keep Molly and Cessie together.
Tilly tossed and turned in bed that night, her dreams filled with a feeling of apprehension. But when she woke the next morning the sun was shining and the sky looked blue. It was a bright December day. She decided to take the girls to church and then to the market—Frank too, if he would join them. The Christmas spirit and the carollers would cheer them up. Perhaps Frank would see his old friends?
When no one appeared, Tilly went to wake them. She opened the door of the bedroom quietly and let out a gasp. The two beds and Frank’s mattress were empty.
Frank and the girls had gone!
Harry was entertaining a special guest. Rosalind, having arrived at the crack of dawn, sat on the edge of her seat, one finger crooked daintily as she drank her tea.
Her hair was cut in the latest of styles and her fine orange and cream spotted silk dress looked as though it hadn’t seen a day’s wear in its life. Her wit, as usual, was delightful, and most of the names she mentioned were society names—people with whom he would soon be mixing and no doubt treating on a professional level. Rosalind had already assured him her friends were eager to find a good physician. Their home in the country would become renowned for the skill of its practitioner. She would be very proud of her famous husband.
> He smiled as he listened, content to be entertained on this lazy Sunday morning when the sun outside seemed to hint at an early spring. Perhaps he would take Rosalind out to lunch? Then a stroll in Hyde Park, where she could indulge in the society chit-chat that she enjoyed so much.
‘Harry, you must really concentrate a little more,’ she was saying to him, and he suddenly realised he had been daydreaming. ‘Father is arranging Christmas as our engagement. Mummy is in an absolute whirl of activity…you will be down for the Christmas Eve party, won’t you?’
Harry’s brow creased slightly. ‘It will be late when I arrive. I’ll travel after I have finished surgery here. As it will be my last day I intend to say goodbye to everyone.’
‘Surely that isn’t necessary?’ Rosalind sounded put out.
‘These people have been my patients, Rosalind, albeit temporarily, and there is Tilly and the children to take leave of too.’
‘Well, I suppose that will have to do.’ She laid a hand on his arm. ‘And now we must decide when to buy the ring.’
Harry smiled broadly. ‘I have something to show you first.’ He went in search of the blue box in his desk downstairs. When he returned Rosalind could hardly contain her excitement.
‘Oh, Harry! What have you got there?’
He placed the box carefully on her palm and watched her face, alight with expectation, as she flipped open the lid. Under the blue satin his grandmother’s ring sparkled. She took it out.
‘Do you like it?’
‘Oh—er—yes. It’s—sweet.’
‘Let me put it on for you.’
She gave him her hand and Harry watched her changing expressions as she angled the cluster of diamonds to the light. ‘Where did you buy it?’
‘It’s my grandmother’s ring.’
‘Oh!’ Her face fell. ‘I see. Well, it does feel rather tight.’
‘It will be no trouble to alter.’
Tilly’s finger was slender, he reflected, unlike Rosalind’s rather plump hand. ‘This ring is of great sentimental value to my family.’
She took it off and dropped it back in the box. ‘Harry, I don’t think it’s very suitable.’