by Martha Long
‘No, nor me either, not since the time Harry died.’
‘So, tha’s it,’ Charlie said, shaking his head slowly. ‘He’s gone!’
‘Yeah, maybe me ma might get a bit of peace now, Charlie,’ I said, getting hopeful the ma’s life would be easier.
‘No, go way outa tha, Martha,’ he whispered, shaking his head at me, looking disgusted. ‘Tha fuckin aul one was every bit as bad as him. In fact, I would say she’s worse,’ he snorted.
I sighed. ‘Yeah! I know you don’t like her, Charlie. But she is the ma.’
‘Yours maybe, Martha. But not fuckin mine. I’m tellin you! She’s hard hearted, she has no heart tha aul one. At least he did be times!’ he said, throwing his head at Jackser in the coffin.
‘Yeah, still and all, I suppose fellas are different,’ I sighed, understanding how Charlie felt. She really hurt him. He never could take it. I think it was one thing Jackser being bad, but he couldn’t take his mother never having any time for us.
‘Martha!’ the ma whispered, hurrying back into the room after talking to one of the undertaker men. ‘The man wants you,’ she pointed, getting me to look at the man in the black suit and white shirt.
‘Is it you your mother is talking about? You have to go over and see the boss.’
‘Oh! Why? Is there a problem?’ I said, seeing something was definitely up.
‘Martha! the ma said. ‘He rang me this morning. I was waitin on you, but ye didn’t come. He’s lookin for the deeds a the grave. I haven’t got them. You need te go up quick an get tha sorted out!’ she said, bringing her voice up to a high note, making it sound like she was going to start wailing.
‘What do you mean, Ma, the deeds are gone? What does that mean? Where are they?’
‘I don’t know. He was looking for them about two year ago! Someone took them an he thought it was Dinah!’
‘Why would she take them?’
‘How the hell do I know? I’m only tellin ye wha happened,’ she roared, then lowered her voice, seeing I could get annoyed too and that would do no one any good.
‘OK, I better take a run up there. You will have to go without me. I better get this sorted out.’
‘He won’t be buried without them, Martha!’ she shouted after me as I whipped meself, rushing for the door. ‘Go over te Glasnevin. Get them te sort it out! That’s my grave. It belongs te this family!’ she started, working herself up to challenge anyone who was going to disagree.
‘OK! Don’t worry. I’ll see you back at the house, Ma. I probably won’t make it to the church for the prayers with Jackser,’ I said, now flying out the door and down the hill, heading for my car. I dived in switching on the engine. A quarter to five – I hope they don’t leave until five-thirty.
I parked the car outside the main gates – they were locked – and ran in through the side gate. I belted to the right, looking for the office. A man with keys in his hand stopped and looked at me. ‘The cemetery is closed,’ he said, ready to wave me back out the way I came in.
‘Listen, we have a burial here in the morning and the deeds are lost. Who can I speak to?’
‘Me. Come in,’ he said, heading me into his office. ‘So, is there no chance of them turning up?’ he said, whipping open a book. ‘Name, deceased’s date of death?’
I rambled off all the details he wanted. ‘Right! Without the deeds, nobody has ownership,’ he said, making it sound very matter-of-fact.
‘Well! Then not just me and the family have a problem, but so do you. Unless you can tell me a way around this in a hurry,’ I said, standing up straight and fixing me eyes on him, making eyeball contact with his couldn’t-care-less, watery blue-grey eyes. They were programmed only to obey bits of paper and what is written therein.
We stared at each other for a few minutes. I could feel meself turning white with the rage. You could hear me breathing slowly but deeply.
‘I paid for this grave. It is a family grave for five family members. Now, there are still four people to go into it,’ I said. ‘One is on his way here in the morning. The father of the young man aged twenty-eight who is already lying there. Now! He will be buried, lying on top of his son. So what is there to do?’ I said, rapping me knuckle in time to that.
‘OK, we can allow the burial on one condition. You say you are the one who signed the deeds?’
‘Yes!’ I said.
‘OK, you can write your consent to allow this burial. After that, no more will be buried in that grave until the deeds are found.’
‘What about my mother?’
‘Yes, she has the automatic right as his wife.’
‘Good,’ I said, thinking, technically they are not married – not a worry at the minute. ‘So, what do I do now?’
‘Go over to the undertaker’s and sign a form with them. They will hand it in here when they arrive with the deceased. All the paperwork will be handled then.’
‘So, sign a form giving my consent?’
‘Yes,’ he said, nodding at me.
Phew, such relief, I thought. ‘Thanks for that, that’s very good of you,’ I said.
‘Don’t mention it,’ he said. ‘All in a day’s work.’ Then he was busy pulling up the black trousers over the white shirt and fixing the suspenders to keep them up. His big belly was getting in the way, though. It stuck out, threatening to burst the buttons on the shirt. I gave a little wave flying out the door. He gave a little wave back, hurrying out after me, then slowed, stopping to lock up the office.
‘Jaysus! I just made that on time,’ I said, seeing the traffic now beginning to get chock-a-block as I got to the end of the road, then turned, hitting on to the main road trying to turn left. Then ended, getting meself snarled up with the traffic coming to a dead end. The wise thing to do now would be to stop at the nearest phone box and ring. Ah, never mind, keep going. He’s only about ten minutes away on a straight run. But this could take an hour!
I crawled to a stop outside the undertaker’s, pulling into the parking spot outside the door. Made it! Blue-eyes looked up as I pushed in the door. I was delighted to clap eyes on him. Thank God he’s not closed up! He stood up, giving me a look of concern and a smile at the same time. ‘Take a seat,’ he said, looking at the red face on me, with the eyes blazing now coming with exhaustion. The few hours’ sleep last night has worn off. I’m even more knackered now than I was in the hospital.
‘I take it you heard about the problem?’
‘Yes. I just spoke to the man in Glasnevin. He told me to come here and sign a consent form.’
He lowered his head, making it look like a bow, and went straight to a filing cabinet, opening a drawer.
‘OK, you need to write your letter of consent. Then you can sign the deeds over to your mother.’
‘But the deeds are lost, so she says. They can’t find them.’
‘Yes, but you can write a letter giving your interest as the owner over to them.’
‘Do you know, I never intended I should have anything to do with that grave. It belongs to the family.’
‘Yes,’ he said, ‘but you signed the forms at the time.’
‘Bloody eegits in that cemetery! They should have told me that. I would then have signed the family names on it!’
‘But they would have needed to be present at the time to sign their own name,’ he said, still seeing a problem.
‘Oh, never mind,’ I sighed, letting out a big breath of weariness. ‘I’ll do all that now.’
‘No! The letter signing the grave over to your mother would be best kept by you, but she has to sign it. Then it will be safe,’ he said, making it sound eminently sensible to me. ‘And just sign there – good. OK,’ he said, taking up the papers and leaving them in front of him at his desk. ‘That is every thing in order now,’ he smiled, letting me suddenly see the sunshine.
Hmm! He really is handsome, I thought, knowing it’s nice to look – like seeing delicious cakes in the shop window. But you know you won’t be buying one, they’re
not for you. Far too rich for the digestive system, and maybe not good for you.
‘Now, what about the cost?’ I said, looking at the figures on the invoice he handed me.
‘OK,’ he said, getting down to business. ‘Your mother is entitled to a death grant – that is [x amount]. Then she will continue to receive the deceased’s social welfare payment – that will be for six weeks and that should cover the cost, almost. There is a small outstanding balance.’
I had a look at his figures. ‘No problem – I will cover that. I will pay you immediately after the funeral,’ I said.
‘Perfect,’ he said, standing up to shake my hand, then led me to the door with his hand held gently on my back.
‘Cheers! Many thanks,’ I said, waving happily now that was sorted and getting back into the car, heading over to see the ma. She should be back from the church by now. OK, I better stop and pick up a few things at the supermarket.
I stopped at a little shop, looking in at the big blue duck eggs sitting in the window. Oh! I haven’t seen them for years. I wonder would the ma like them? Well, if she doesn’t, I’m bringing them home and eating them myself. They’re lovely. They taste like meat, with a load of protein, and they have to be fresh, not like the bloody battery hen ones you get now. Right! I’ll stop in there on the way back from the supermarket, I thought, as I headed through the shopping centre.
I loaded the stuff onto the belt at the checkout. Then, when the trolley was finally emptied, I rushed through, grabbing a handful of plastic bags she left out and started to pack. Jaysus! I went mad with the shopping, I thought, letting my eyes fly up to the prices turning into nothing but zeros, with higher numbers coming in front. Then me hands flew, packing in the food. A roast chicken, a dozen fresh rolls, two large sliced pans, two packs of butter, tea, sugar, two milk, half a pound of the best fresh ham, tomatoes, biscuits, a nice teatime cake, a dozen eggs – I’ll get the duck ones for meself if I have any money left! Rashers, carrots, onions, a packet of mince beef. Jaysus! I had four full plastic bags already, with another what looks like double that again. Ah, well. I don’t want the ma to starve. Anyway, she’s going to need to feed everyone.
Finally the till came to a silent stop. So did I as I stood with me hand on the overflowing trolley. Then I got the damage, feeling me nerves jerk. I hope I have that much in my purse! I thought.
I handed over the money and got eleven pounds and some change back. I stared at it, taking the long ream of receipt, thinking she must have used nearly the whole roll for that! Oh, well. You can’t argue with having plenty of grub in the house. This is the second time today I have done a big shop! I was up early this morning with the kids in tow and we flew around getting the week’s shopping. Then I left it to them and their father to unload and cook the dinner while I shot off out about my business.
Right! Here we go. You are on the last lap for today, Martha. After this, there is just the funeral to get through. Then you can get back to normal living – wrestle the kids, dog and house back from their father, and sleep! Oh, lovely blissful sleep and plenty of hot baths. Tea at the ready and no worrying about looking over your shoulder in case you’re doing something wrong.
23
I turned into the flats and parked the car, then wearily hauled myself out and walked around, opening the big boot of the car. It’s lovely and big – I can get half the house into that! Right, drag up two bags, then see what happens. I hope Charlie hasn’t vanished.
I banged on the door and it was whipped open immediately. The ma is crafty. She must have seen me from the kitchen window. I could see her eyes lit up and the smile on her face.
‘Where did ye get them, Martha?’ she said, moving aside to let me struggle in.
‘Shut the door fast, Ma. I think the cops are after me. I just robbed the supermarket!’
‘Wha?! Ye didn’t, did ye?’ she said, looking shocked, then standing still with her heart in her mouth, giving a look to the door.
‘Only joking, Ma. Jaysus! You would believe anything.’
‘Well! Ye shouldn’t be givin me frights like tha, Martha! Ye could easily a given me a heart attack!’
‘Ah, Ma, would I do that? Don’t be ridiculous!’
‘Well! Wha am I supposed te know?’ she said, getting all huffy.
‘Ah, fuck. Why didn’t I keep me bleedin mouth shut?’ I muttered, landing the bags on the kitchen table.
‘How’re ye, Martha? Jaysus! Ye got enough shoppin!’
‘No! The rest is down in the car, Charlie. Ma, give us a hand and unpack them. Charlie, you come down with me and we’ll unload the rest of the stuff outa the boot.’
‘There’s more, Martha?
‘Yeah, I don’t want the ma to starve.’
‘No fear a tha,’ me ma laughed, happily taking the stuff outa the bag.
Just as we got outside and I was heading for the car with Charlie on me heels, Sally passed us and gave a little nod with a weak smile.
‘Hello, Sally! How are you, Sally? You are just in time to give us a hand up with the ma’s shopping,’ I laughed, opening the boot then looking back, seeing she was gone!
‘Fuck! Did ye see that, Charlie? She just blanked me!’
‘Wha did ye expect, Martha?’ he shrugged. ‘They’re them; we’re us! Come on, let’s get it done ourselves,’ he said, making a grab for four bags. I grabbed three, deciding I was not too bright, it will take me longer to get up and back. Now, if I had only taken two at a time.
‘That’s the lot!’ I puffed, trailing him up the stairs and into the hall. I could hear whispering, then it stopped when we appeared. Sally was talking to me ma in the sitting room. They gave each other a look, much as to say, ‘Don’t say any more. They’re here now listening.’ I felt my heart drop at the thought of not being welcome, then fire up with a feeling of annoyance. Fuck! Charlie is so right.
‘Listen, Charlie,’ I said, looking at him, seeing the look he gave me, like a sad laugh because he was right, but an even deeper pain showed in his lovely, fading, sky-blue eyes. I stared at him and he held my look, then lifted his mouth and eyebrows, shrugging his shoulders, and put out his arms, giving me the message – We’re not wanted? Ah, well! That’s the way life goes! Nothing we can do about it. He grinned, shaking his head at me.
‘Fuck this, their loss, Charlie!’ I muttered under my breath.
He took in a huge sigh, rubbing his hands together, whispering, ‘Wha’s te eat, Martha? I’m starvin wit the hunger! I could eat a scabby babby!’
‘Oh, yeah, I was going to say to you. Listen, Charlie, there’s two packets of cigarettes in one of those bags for you. Root around and take them out.’
‘They’re for me? Oh, thanks, Martha. Jaysus! I was just goin te ask ye fer one a yer roll-ups! I’m gaspin for an aul smoke,’ he said, happily sticking his head and hands in the bags, whipping out the stuff.
‘Oh!’ the ma laughed, not really laughing, but that laugh I can now see is manipulative. She is not laughing with me but wanting to get around me. ‘I, eh, Martha, gave them cigarettes te poor Sally!’
‘Did you now?’ I said, knowing right this minute I could very easily commit murder. ‘Listen, Ma, please take yourself right this very minute and get them back from yer poor precious Sally!’ I said, nearly gritting me teeth, knowing I sounded exactly like Jackser. Then I cooled down, saying, ‘I’m sorry, Ma, but those cigarettes were bought for Charlie, and if he even gives one to Sally I will take the fucking things back and keep them. Let her buy her own.’
‘Ah!’ she hissed, then went rushing in and arguing in a whisper to Sally. I waited, looking at Charlie. He looked nervous. He didn’t expect, nor did I, to end up with me in a rage. I hadn’t even realised how angry I was. The ma took it for granted they were for Sally, not letting it enter her head Charlie was here and he smokes too. Surely she knew I had bought them for him. Who else would I be buying them for? Sight nor sound has been seen of Sally! Only me and Charlie had made our presence felt. So, now, I am
beginning to see the ma through Charlie’s eyes.
‘Here!’ she said, throwing them on the table at Charlie.
He looked at the ma, seeing her face shaking and her eyes blinking, with the mouth going full throttle, biting the lip off herself. She wanted to say something – tell us to get the fuck out. Charlie went quiet and picked up the cigarettes, saying, ‘I think I will head off.’
‘Yeah, me too,’ I said. Then the two of us went off down the hall, leaving them muttering in angry whispers together, knowing it was probably me and Charlie they were going mad angry about, not just the loss of the smokes! Fuck, she can make a fool outa me, but not the pair of us. Fuck that!
‘Come on, Charlie, I’ll give you a lift into town.’
‘Thanks, Martha. Pity about tha, though. I thought fer a minute there I was goin te lorry inta a great big feed a grub.’
‘Listen, for the love a Jaysus! Don’t mind me! I was just annoyed with the ma and the Sally one for being so bleedin mean. Why don’t you go back up and get yourself something to eat? Sure, you did no harm! It was me that lit into her.’
‘Wha? Are you jokin, Martha?’ he snorted and shook his head away, leaving one eye behind for a minute, then pulled it away. ‘There’s no way tha aul one is goin te open the door for me, never mind let me in for a bit te eat.’
‘Why not, Charlie? Sure, I bought the food for you, too!’
‘Well, she won’t see it tha way, Martha.’
‘But she was talking to you today. You came back with her, Charlie!’
‘Yeah, but tha, Martha, was because she was on her own. Now tha she has Sally there, she doesn’t need me, or you. She got wha she wanted. Look, I’m tellin ye, Martha. Ye have te get wide te the ma. You don’t know her like I do! Sure, she has time for no one. She only cares about Dinah an Gerry! So forget it. Come on, let’s go,’ he said, making it sound so final.
I pulled up outside the Morning Star hostel and said, ‘Here we are. Your bed inside is waiting for you.’