by Amy Starling
Anna squeezed my hand. I felt the terror, the desperation, in her grasp. This was my last chance to back out of our arrangement, to deny everything and save myself.
I could have gotten a ride home if I really wanted to. Could've found some kind stranger willing to take me in until I healed. Posing as her fake boyfriend wasn't my only option.
But what kind of man would I be then? I was getting sick of running. Perhaps it was time to grow up.
I squeezed her hand back. “Yep, Mrs. Southwell. It's mine. I'm the father.”
Ruby wailed her dismay. Daniel just sat there, not moving, his face without expression. Trey was too busy gaping at Rachael, probably wondering what had gotten into her, to care about anything else.
Rachael, by the way, looked utterly shell-shocked. I dunno what game she was trying to play just now, but I hoped she'd lost.
“All right, everyone. Calm down.” Daniel cleared his throat. “This is highly unfortunate. Anna, I can't allow you to ruin this campaign for me. My unwed daughter, working on a farm with a baby in her belly... It just doesn't look right, and it won't sit well with the church.”
“Then leave me out of your stupid campaign. I don't want to be on TV anyway.”
“I'm afraid that's quite impossible. The moment my opponent senses a weakness in my strategy, he will strike. He'll turn this into a media circus. I'll be seen as a hypocrite, a God-fearing man who believes sex should be between husband and wife – yet here is my own daughter, knocked up by...”
“Is that what Anna is to you? Just a 'weakness'?” I growled.
Damn this wheelchair! If my legs worked, I would have launched across the table and socked him good. How dare he talk about Anna like she was nothing more than a stumbling block on the path to victory?
“Dad, please. It's not that big of a deal. I'm perfectly capable of raising a baby right now. And Max, well, I know he'll be a fine dad.”
I'd probably be the world's worst father, actually, but didn't tell her that.
“I can only keep you out of the limelight for so long, Anna. Pretty soon, the size of the baby will give you away.” He sighed. “As much as this saddens me and I hate to say this, there is only one solution that will make this better for us all.”
Ruby paled. “No, Daniel. Don't.”
“They gotta make this right in the eyes of the Lord.” Daniel's icy eyes fixed on me. “You do the right thing, son. Make an honest woman out of her.”
“...Dad?”
“You're getting married before that baby is born. The child will have a wedded couple for its parents, as God intended.”
“But Daniel, he's... He's not suitable!”
“I'm sorry, honey. This is the way it has to be.”
Ruby burst into tears. The rest of us were silent. Anna and I looked at each other in shock. I could feel her pulse racing out of control through her tender, delicate wrist.
Me, married? The way it had to be?
No, it didn't have to be this way. Not if I took the next bus back to Waco and went into hiding. Maybe I'd have to change my last name or move continents, but at least then I'd have my freedom.
Marriage was the last thing in the world I ever wanted. I ought to tell Anna this was a huge mistake, that I appreciated all she'd done for me but I couldn't go on like this anymore.
I'd be able to escape, and she could do nothing to stop me. I would have my safe, sane old life back. Free as a bird, able to go where I liked and sleep with a new girl every night.
But then I wouldn't have Anna anymore. Hell, did I even “have” her now? I only knew one thing: I wished that she was mine and no one else's in the world.
“You're to start planning the wedding right away,” Daniel continued. “Rachael, do you think you can help your sister? I'm sure she could use your company during this difficult time.”
“Of course, dad.” Her eyes had tears in them again. “Anything for the family.”
I could run. Wouldn't be easy, but possible.
Anna hugged me and rested her chin on my shoulder. “I'm sorry.” She whispered to me. “If I'd known this was going to happen...”
My heart broke for her. I didn't want to see her hurt.
There really only was one solution, then. I knew what I had to do.
Chapter 16 - Anna
Rachael and I had always competed for our parents' attention and love. I thought maybe we'd grown out of it with age. Apparently, we had not.
“What color dresses for the bridesmaids?” She flipped through pictures on a wedding ideas website. “Mom says anything but dark blue, because she has a gorgeous blue dress she just has to wear, and she doesn't want any of the girls to clash with her.”
“Figures. This is supposed to be my wedding, and here she goes trying to steal the spotlight from me.”
She sighed loudly. “You know, you ought be more respectful. Dad's paying for this luxurious gala all by himself. Do you realize how lucky you are? Trey and I would never be able to afford this.”
I blankly scrolled past all the photos of happy, smiling ladies wearing obscenely expensive gowns.
“He's only doing it because it benefits him. Can you imagine how good it'll make him look? The possible future governor of California, walking his daughter down the aisle on her wedding day... It'll make for some nice video footage for his campaign, won't it?”
Rachael stole the mouse away from me so she could look by herself. “You've gotten so spoiled and selfish lately. Who cares if he gets a bit of nice publicity out of it?” She clicked a pink dress that cost over three hundred bucks. “You know, if you don't like it, maybe you shouldn't have gotten pregnant.”
I was generally a calm woman. I had never been in a fist fight in my life, but my sister had ways of making me want to tear her hair out.
“Things happen. I didn't plan on it, obviously.”
She selected a fancy pearl necklace to go with the dress. Frankly, I didn't care what she wore. I was too distressed to even think about my own gown. This whole thing felt like one never-ending nightmare.
“And you're telling me Max is the dad.” She smirked. “Are you sure? Seems like you got together with him pretty quick after Rich bailed – if, of course, your story is true.”
“Of course I'm sure. What's it matter to you, anyway?” I pulled the stupid mouse away so she'd look at me. “What were you thinking, ratting me out to mom and dad that night? Where did you learn I was pregnant in the first place? Did someone tell you?”
She stood and refilled her wine glass for the second time since I had been in her apartment. That it was just past noon worried me somewhat, but I was almost too mad to care. If she wanted to destroy her body before age thirty, so be it.
“Jeez, I didn't know you'd get so defensive. I wasn't absolutely sure you were pregnant, although I swore I heard Trey talking about it with Max one day.” She fiddled with her glass. “I didn't catch much of the conversation, but I did hear that nasty p-word. Now, I know I'm not pregnant, so I thought it was either you... Or maybe Trey accidentally knocked up one of his little girlfriends from work, and he was confessing to Max.”
“Oh, God. You seriously thought Trey cheated on you?” Yeah, right. A likely story. “So why didn't you just ask him what they were talking about? He would have told you the truth.”
“I did ask him. He said he wasn't at liberty to talk about it. Well, I don't know about you, but I don't like it when my man hides things from me.”
Rachael had been acting so batty lately, I had no idea if her story was true or some elaborate ruse.
“Okay, so explain why you felt the need to blab my problems to mom and dad. If you thought I was pregnant, you could have simply asked.”
“Well, I noticed your tummy getting a little bigger, but you know how it is. What if I asked and you weren't pregnant? Then I'd feel like an idiot for basically calling you fat.” She laughed for some reason. “I eventually couldn't take the stress of not knowing anymore. I mean, at the restaurant, I sw
ear I saw Trey checking out a waitress. And I was pretty drunk, so I guess I just blurted it out.”
This was total bullshit. The sane, sensible thing to do would have been to ask me. We're sisters; I wouldn't have been mad, and she knew it. But what was she plotting, then? I couldn't wrap my brain around it.
“Whatever. Thanks to you, now dad's forcing me to get married.”
She faked surprise. “What's the problem? I thought you and Max loved each other.”
“We're just... not ready for this right now. And I don't want to marry because I have to.”
“Technically, no one's really forcing you to do anything.” She shrugged. “He's not holding a gun to your head, is he?”
“Don't be dumb. You know if I refuse, if I 'shame' him and the family for giving birth to a bastard child, he'll never forgive me. Okay, maybe he might eventually get over it, but not for a very long time. I'd prefer to keep the peace.”
Although the longer I thought about it, the more I was unsure. Was it worth marrying just to “keep the peace?” What about the farm? If I dared anger him enough, he would surely take it away.
This decision wasn't mine alone, of course. Max had to go along with it, and I doubted he would. Why would he? He had no reason to. He told me marriage was awful. I couldn't make him go through that.
Not only that, I wanted to marry for love – and he certainly didn't love me. He might have changed, but not that much. Deep down, I knew he was just as commitment-phobic as ever.
The alarm on my phone beeped. It was a reminder that I had my gyno appointment soon. I was almost too scared to go and find out what might be wrong with me.
“I've got to go. You keep on looking at dresses and table place settings.”
“I don't know if I want to. The longer I look, the more jealous I get.” Her shoulders fell. “Maybe one day, someone will propose to me.”
I didn't bother to tell her that Max never actually proposed. Instead, I left her there and returned home so I could get ready. Wasn't sure if the doctor was checking me out “down there,” but I liked to groom just to be on the safe side.
Back at home, I found Max doing laps in his wheelchair around the pond. He was panting and sweating, and I had to admit, it was pretty sexy.
Unfortunately, I had so much else on my mind that sex was the last thing I had time to think about.
“I'm back,” I called to him.
He rolled to a stop, wiped his brow, then came to me. “Just working off some frustration. I know your parents went back to San Diego, but it feels like you can never escape 'em. Your mom called twice while you were out asking about cake flavors.”
He knew I was about to launch a tirade against her rude, intrusive behavior. He patted his lap and stretched his arms out for me, and I gratefully sat down with him.
“Ah, you are getting heavy.” He winced. “That's a good thing, mind. The more weight you gain, the better.”
“You're an awful liar.”
“Darlin', I don't kid. Dunno what it is about you, but watching your body change and grow like this...” He shivered. “It just fascinates me, I guess.”
I snuggled up with him by the edge of the pond for a while. What was this strange relationship we had? I didn't know anymore.
Neither of us talked about it, really. Never talked about dating, or what we were to each other these days. Never discussed who we were sleeping with besides the other, if anyone. For all I knew, he could be out screwing chicks behind my back – if he could even get off the property in that chair – and I wouldn't have any right to get mad at him for it.
“Okay, I gotta get going.” I struggled to get out of his lap. “Doctor's appointment.”
His eyes widened. “With the gyno? I want to go with you.”
I laughed, at first. Then I figured out he was serious.
“Why in the world...?”
“Last time you came back from there, you looked awfully worried. I just don't think it's right that you go through that alone.”
This normally wasn't the kind of thing I'd invite company to. But Max looked genuinely eager to come along, and besides, I felt guilty about leaving him behind at home so often lately.
“Fine. We can talk about this wedding disaster while they make me wait to see the doctor.” Then, without thinking, I added, “I've got to go shave my pubes.”
He exploded with laughter and almost fell out his chair. “Oh, really?”
“Well, y'know. I don't want to be a gnarled mess down there. Doctor Ferris would be horrified.”
“You care what the gyno thinks about your pubic hair.”
“It's embarrassing!”
I left him there to laugh at me while I took care of business. As I got dressed, I mulled over how easy our conversations were and how comfortable I felt talking to him.
I'd walk around the house in my rattiest pajamas and he didn't bat an eye. Well, that actually wasn't quite true. He still enjoyed grabbing my ass even when I passed by in torn sweatpants.
That wasn't all. It was the simple things, little stuff that probably meant nothing to most people, but to me, it meant a lot.
Like the way he busted his butt to help me around the house instead of lounge about even when I wouldn't have faulted him for it. Or how he got up early to make me coffee just the way I liked it.
He even took care of my laundry with no complaint. And it sure was nice to have a strong man around the house to fix broken stuff when I hadn't a prayer of doing so myself. Even in a wheelchair, he was handier than I'd ever be.
Soon, we were in the truck and on our way. He put on my favorite radio station, but I was too nervous to listen.
It wasn't just about the doctor. That wedding loomed large in both our minds.
“What are we going to do?” I asked him.
“What do you mean?”
“My parents have gone, but they're trying to force me to marry. You've barely said two words about it.” I was so stressed out I almost ran the stop sign. “Your legs will be all better soon. Then you'll be free to leave. There's nothing keeping you here.”
“Who told you that? There's family. Old friends to reconnect with. New job.” He took my hand. “And you.”
“You'd stay just because the sex is good?”
“The sex isn't just good, dang it. It's the best I ever had.” He cleared his throat and adjusted himself. “But that's besides the point. I wouldn't only hang around for sex. If I left, I'd miss you something terrible.”
“And I... I'd miss you too. But there's this huge lie we've built together, you know? You stood up and said this baby is yours when it's not. And now you're paying the price for it.”
“Honestly, I've been waiting to see what happens. My guess is now that your parents are back in California and busy on the campaign trail, they'll be too overbooked to deal with you.”
“What, you think they'll just forget I got knocked up? Not happening. My mom's already picking out her dress and trying out cake flavors without me. And then there's Rachael.” I frowned. “I know they were going to find out soon enough, but she went and told them herself.”
“Didn't you go over her place? Ain't you asked her what she was thinking?”
“I did, and it doesn't make a lot of sense. I hate to talk smack about family, but it feels like she's hiding something.”
His gaze suddenly shifted out the window, but he didn't respond right away. I knew what that look of his meant by now. He didn't want to talk about something – and maybe he was hiding something, too.
Lord, I hoped not.
“What do you know, Max? Tell me.”
“I don't know nothing. Your sister's grade-A crazy, that's all I can say. Seems like she slips a little further every day – and all that booze she's chugging doesn't help much.”
“Have you talked to Trey about it?”
“He claims to be clueless. Says she never acted like this before. Poor guy.” He sighed. “Told me she's been working late every night this past w
eek, so he's barely seen her. It's either that, or she's hanging out with her friends and he can't get a hold of her.”
“I doubt she's cheating. She and Trey have been dating for years. I know them. They're the closest couple you could imagine.”
“Well, yeah, but people drift apart. Years is a long while.”
“Drifting apart isn't a good excuse to treat your partner like crap. How do you suppose a marriage survives over time?”
“I haven't a clue. That's why I tend to avoid relationships, because I don't know squat about being in one.”
So then what were we doing with each other right now? If he thought it was nothing, just friends with benefits, I would probably be crushed. Time to admit it – my feelings for him were born the day he kissed me and they just grew stronger every moment we spent together.
If that had to come to an end...
We arrived at the clinic and sat down to wait. Max was wide eyed at all the pregnant women, most of whom were several sizes larger than me.
“Is that what you're supposed to look like?” he whispered, then gaped at my tummy.
“You're not making me feel better.”
He took my hand. “Sorry. Relax, okay? I'm the one who should be freaking out. I feel like I'm surrounded by aliens.”
I rolled my eyes, but his idiotic comments made me warm inside. Only he could get away with saying something so dumb and sounding too cute to reprimand for it.
“Miss Anna Southwell? Right this way.”
The nurse called me, and off we went. She glanced at Max curiously as she took my blood pressure and weight, as she'd done before.
“Let's see. You're at... one thirty three. That's up three pounds in a week. Not too bad.”
Max beamed. “See? I told you that cake was a good idea.”
The doctor came in next to check me out. When he saw Max, he hesitated, then stuck out his hand.
“Hello there. I'm Doctor Ferris. I'll be taking care of Anna through her pregnancy. Are you, uh, the father, if you don't mind my asking?”
“That's right,” he said without missing a beat. “I don't know a thing about babies, and the whole giving birth thing kind of freaks me out, but I'll do my best.”