by Indra Frost
I wasn’t working through anything, my lack of attention had more to do with the pain I was in than boredom. The eye candy the guys provided wasn't helping the situation either.
“You reek of pain and ashes.” Jesse turned to look at me as he spoke, his face serious and his eyes searching.
“You’re hurt?” Reed’s voice sounded surprised, as he looked from me to Jesse.
“I got in a fight earlier,” I waved away their concern; it wasn’t exactly a lie. “Why did you choose me? What made you think I would help you?”
I deflected the question, wanting them to drop it. They didn’t look convinced, but they didn’t question me anymore, so I pretended it didn't happen.
"So, what do you recommend we do?" Walker asked, picking up his fork to start eating again, and avoiding my question.
It was a deliberate move designed to bring down the tension. He seemed to be the only one still eating, which struck me as funny considering the shifter right next to me. The shifter I wasn't even sure was a shifter at all.
Most Supes that were able to transform their body needed to take in more calories than those of us that didn't. I guess Walker’s use of magic could contribute to his need for more calories. Though I doubted that was the reason he was still eating now.
"I'm not sure what you want from me. Greg isn't going to be back for almost a week and the only thing you can do until then is talk to the others at the gym." I shrugged my shoulders, not able to give them more.
As long as the conversation stayed on the happenings in the gym the pain faded to a manageable level. One I could deal with and compartmentalize.
"And how should we deal with Greg?" Copeland asked, pushing the remaining food around his plate with his fork.
The pain flared for a moment and my vision went white. This was going to get old fast.
"What do you recommend?" Reed turned to me with a questioning glance.
I opened my mouth to speak, but the brand on my shoulder sent out a burning so intense it took my breath away. I stopped for a moment to think about what I wanted to say, but every time I tried to say anything it would flare up again.
"I don't know," was finally what I was able to get out.
"You don't know?" Walker asked, confused.
Frustrated, I glared at him. "I don't know."
"Can you give us anything you think may help?" Copeland looked at me, resting his head on his hand.
"I-," I stopped, pain flaring, and I had to swallow.
I grunted and folded my arms across my chest. I wasn't going to be able to do this if they kept asking such direct questions. The contract was stopping me from being able to say anything. I couldn't exactly tell them what was happening either.
The contract wasn't common knowledge, and I didn't want to tell them about it. Though it would be nice to get help. The more people that knew about it, the higher my chances of being able to break it. If I was able to get someone to help me, they may be able to see or learn something that I wasn't. That wouldn't be good for Greg, or any demon stuck in a contract. Which is the main reason I wasn't allowed to discuss it.
"If you weren't going to help, why did you agree in the first place?" Jesse looked at me.
It didn't seem like he was trying to be mean, in fact, I'm not sure he was aware of the way his words came off. It was more like he was stating a fact, something obvious to him. Besides, I was used to it. I was a half-breed demon under the contract of another demon. I'm surprised they weren't treating me worse.
I just grunted, not able to say anything in my own defense. I wouldn't want to anyway. It wouldn't change anything. They would think what they wanted to, and nothing I said would change that.
I wasn't able to say anything negative about Greg. I wasn't going to be able to help them as much as I had hoped.
I looked up to Blayze, hoping my inability to speak wouldn't break the agreement we had. He was watching me like the others, the gears behind his eyes turning. Out of everyone here he would be the one best able to understand what was happening to me.
He said he knew about the contract, but it only seemed to be in general terms. Not an actual understanding of what the agreement entailed. He didn’t seem to understand that I couldn’t talk about the agreement. It was frustrating because it was demon contract 101 and it was something he should have known.
"What can you tell me about his schedule?" Reed looked frustrated, but he kept his tone civil.
Gritting my teeth, I forced the words out. I should be able to discuss something so mundane, but the agreement was set up to protect against even that.
"He's... in the... gym... most days..." the words were forced out, and by the end I was panting so much I couldn't breathe.
My skin was on fire and I felt as if I should have been a pile of ashes on the ground, unable to move without fear. My skin was so sensitive to sensation that even the brush of my clothing was painful.
"Is he there every day?" Blayze asked, the snark in his voice almost completely absent.
"Yes," My voice was full of relief as the pain level dropped.
I may not have been able to speak, but answering yes or no questions was easier to force out than full sentence answers. If I was going to have to deal with the pain from the brand, this would make it easier.
"Does he live there?" Again, Blayze was the one to ask the question and I paused, taking a drink from the cup of water in front of me.
"No," My answer was a croak, the pain intense and getting worse.
"So, you can answer yes and no questions, but not anything else?" Jesse muttered to himself, watching me, but not actually speaking to me.
"For now," I decided to answer him anyway, and he nodded. “Again, what made you guys think I would help you?”
I looked between them as they looked among themselves. I wasn't helping them, and for the most part that wasn't my fault. But I was also still angry about what happened earlier.
Directing the attention elsewhere brought the pain back down to a low buzz instead of the overwhelming pain of before. I slumped down, grateful for that at least.
“We thought you would help us because you already have.”
I looked at Reed and raised a brow, silently asking a question I already knew the answer to.
He raised a brow right back and leaned forward on the table. The muscles in his forearms flexed as he leaned on them to get closer. His pecs pressed against his shirt, showing off his figure. His very attractive figure.
I looked around at all the guys, hating how unfair it was to be surrounded by such man candy, and not being able to enjoy it.
“The night we got into Greg’s safe, you warned us not to linger.” Walker looked between me and Reed, almost sounding confused.
“She knew that, she just wanted us to admit it out loud.” Reed met my eyes and I gave him a small smirk.
“I don’t believe in secrets when working with a team.” I also didn’t believe in working with a team, but I left that part out.
Blayze snorted and looked at me, a sarcastic twist to his lips, and I frowned at him. Of course he would call me out on my lie, but I didn’t see him spilling his secrets. In fact, of everyone here, he was the one I knew the least about. Motivation-wise at least. The others were upfront about what they were trying to accomplish, even if I didn’t know why. And to be honest, I didn’t need to know. It was good enough for me to know that it would help me in the end, even if I didn’t live long enough to see the benefits.
“Fine, I don’t believe in secrets that can negatively affect me.”
I addressed them all, then met Blayze’s eyes, wanting to see if he would explain why he was here, and what he wanted from me. I wanted to know if he could really free my soul from the contract.
He stared steadily back while the other guys shuffled in their seats.
I wasn’t sure how I got here or how I ended up in this position. I didn’t know who these people were, how I came to be in their house, and how an unknown demon
was let in right along with me.
The longer I was with them, the more I regretted that decision. I agreed to do something for a demon I didn’t know, and couldn’t trust. My hope and desperation made me answer before I could even think it through. Now I was stuck with these people who were trying to take down the man who held my soul in the palm of his hand.
That mixed with the pain from the brand left me in a bad mood.
It was my turn to give Blayze a sarcastic look. Two could play at that game. I wasn’t going to let men I didn’t know make me feel bad for trying to relieve my pain in whatever way I could.
“Nothing to say, demon?” I taunted him, trying to pull the attention away from me.
It wasn’t a very nice thing to do, but he was the reason I was here, in pain, in the first place.
He sent me a smirk. "You're one to talk, half-breed."
His disdain of my kind came through loud and clear on the last word, and it bit at something inside of me. The part of me left over from childhood that only wanted to be accepted and loved. He had knowingly, or unknowingly, picked at an old wound that hadn't ever fully healed. I'm not sure it ever would.
There would always be a part of me that craved to be accepted. And having someone poke at me for something I had no control over was a hit I wasn't ready for. I was aware that I had just done the same thing to him. But being a full demon wouldn't have gotten him the same criticisms as my half-breed status.
"I knew you were a half-breed, but what's your other half?" Jesse looked over at me, that curious light in his eyes like the first time he had looked at me.
I frowned at his question, somehow sure it didn't come out how he meant it, but not wanting to answer him anyway.
"Dude, Jesse, you can't just ask questions like that." Walker looked at him, exasperated.
It was almost laughable how put out he looked in that moment. It was like he was used to dealing with Jesse's odd and semi offensive questions. It wasn't that asking what someone's breed was bad per se, but it was definitely taboo. Especially when it came to half-breeds who weren't well liked in the first place.
I looked at Jesse who was sitting on the left side of me at the table. "Maybe if you stick around long enough, I’ll tell ya."
His eyes lit up and I smiled at him, this time it was genuine. I stopped it as soon as I caught it, but he gave me a small smile anyway. His blunt and brisk nature was refreshing in a world full of hate and lies. It was a relief from having to constantly guess at what people were saying. And wondering what they could be scheming behind my back.
He nodded to me, and we left it at that, both turning back to our plates even though neither of us were eating anymore.
"Okay, we seem to have gotten off track. We need to discuss a plan for how to deal with Greg when he gets back." Reed looked at us like we're children that he has the displeasure of babysitting.
The pain in the brand on my shoulder blade spiked again at the mention of Greg's name. I took a deep breath to get myself under control. Now that I had made the agreement, as dumb as it had been, I couldn't back out. I needed to make sure that we took Greg down, and I wasn't going to let the contract stop me from doing that.
I was used to pain; I could deal with this as well. It would be worth it in the end, even if my soul was ripped to shreds in the aftermath. Some of the things that Greg got into... I would consider it a pleasure to die for the cause.
"So, what do you recommend?" Copeland looked at me, sitting forward to see me on the other side of Jesse.
He had done the same thing before, but it was like I hadn't realized how broad the winged panther was until this moment. I had to lean extremely far to see the vampire that was speaking. And the realization almost made me laugh.
I opened my mouth and the brand burned hotter, spreading its flames along my arm and down my back. I grunted with frustration, trying to think of anything I could say that wouldn't trigger this debilitating pain.
"He gets back in about a week," I started, my voice hesitant.
I was trying to think of a way I could give them the information that they needed without causing myself more pain. I wasn't coming up with anything and it was making my anger spike too. This was pointless, I was going to die when they took out Greg, and I wouldn't even be able to help them do it like I had wanted to.
"Yes...?" Walker said, dragging out the word and prompting me to continue.
"You should focus on getting in with the other fighters." I finally stated.
Talking about the club as a whole seemed to be a semi-safe topic. It didn't relieve the pain, but it didn't cause it to grow either. It was safe, and true enough.
They would want to focus on the fighters who already fought underground and go from there. If they could get an in with them, the fighters would do all the heavy lifting, and the guys wouldn't have to do much of anything but agree to fight when the time came. It would be less suspicious than the guys knowing about the fights and asking to join them too.
"You should get in with Hairy and his crew." I suggested, looking at the vampire who was the one to fight him.
"Which one of the fighters is Hairy?" Copeland asked, again leaning around Jesse to meet my eyes.
I gritted my teeth, the brand knowing that this wasn't going to mean good things for its master. I was just grateful that Greg wouldn’t be able to tell that I was going against him. The contract and the brand should have been enough to discourage it that he hadn’t felt the need to include it in the agreement.
"He's the one you fought to get in." I ground out.
"Are you alright?" Walker leaned forward from across the table, looking at me with concern. "You don't look well."
"Thanks, that's just what every girl likes to hear. You guys sure are charmers."
"I... that's... I didn't mean it that way." He looked at a loss for words, and he didn't say anything else, so I considered it a win.
The longer I could keep the brand a secret, the less leverage they had over me. And the less they could use it against me. It wasn't a very generous thought. Nothing about what I had seen suggested that they would do that, but you could never really know a person. You couldn't ever trust anyone but yourself.
People will always put themselves first. That was one of the first lessons that I had learned while growing up in Hell, and it had been proven when I came up here. You looked out for number one, no one else will have your back. Not unless they could get something from you in return.
The only person I had ever been around that hadn't strictly been that way was Lucy. She was a good friend, but I knew better than to show her where I hid my money. She was loyal to her pimp first, and if he asked her to turn me in, she would. I couldn't fault her for that, either. He provided for her lifestyle, in her eyes he was a savior, in mine he was a manipulative and abusive jerk. If he cared about her at all, he wouldn't lay his hands on her.
Me and her would argue about that a lot. He would tell her that it was her fault for making him angry, and that if she didn't do things to make him mad, he wouldn't hit her. He would tell her all the time that he cared about her, then follow it up with something she wasn't doing right. I’m pretty sure he was sleeping with her too, which made it so much worse.
“Anyway, about Greg–“ I stopped, suddenly choking on nothing but air.
I started to cough, not able to breath as everything I was about to say flew out of my head. I had been doing so well I had actually managed to forget about the reason for my pain. The brand flared to epic proportions and I started to pant. Up until now I hadn’t said his name, that seemed to be a trigger. The consequences were something I wasn't prepared for.
The guys around the table stood up, alarmed when I started to gasp for air. I bit the inside of my cheek so hard that I could taste copper, but I couldn't stop. I took a deep breath and forced my rigid body to relax as pain washed over me in waves.
“What’s going on?” Walker reached across the table, a subtle glow around his fingers that h
ad me backing up on instinct.
He frowned, but the glow around his hand disappeared, even as he was still reaching for me. I continued backing away, my skin too sensitive to be touched. I was unwilling to give someone the power to hurt me any more with the state that I was in. My instincts were kicking in and I wanted to lash out; that meant it was time to leave.
“It’s time for me to leave.” I said, proud that my voice came out steady, even if it wasn’t as strong as I would have liked.
“But-“
I glared at Reed, stopping whatever he was planning to say.
“I’m leaving, you can either let me leave, or I’ll go after I knock you out. If you choose the latter, I won't bother to come back, and you can kiss my help goodbye.”
“But you didn’t even help.” Walker and Copeland both groaned at Jesse’s words, and for some reason I felt like laughing.
His face was a mix of confused uncertainty. And though I couldn’t help but agree, I didn’t help them, I had done the best that I could with what I had.
“You’re right, I should just go about my business and stay out of your way.” I made my way to the back door, magic pooling in my hands and back, filling my body with a comforting heat. “I won’t say anything to anyone, but you should find someone else to help you out.”
I nodded once to them as I let my magic flow through me, taking away some of the pain, and using it as a buffer. I wouldn't be able to use my magic in front of them, but I could pull it close to the surface.
I didn’t look back as I shut the door behind me, leaving the yard and walking to the road. It wouldn’t be the first time I hitched a ride, and I wasn’t too worried about the weirdos and creeps out there. No one could torture like a demon, after all, and even if they didn’t like me, as a half-breed, I qualified as just that.
I may have grown up being tortured, but the thing about experiencing it was that you learned how to do it along the way. I had no qualms about using my knowledge to my advantage, as evil and broken as that made me.
If everyone else was going to put themselves first, then so would I.