by Cecilia Lane
Alex nodded, the only response he could spare. He didn’t know how to do any of this.
She was his mate, that was clear as day. But she hadn’t entirely burned out the darkness inside him.
That beast under his skin could still hurt her. Still wanted to make the world bleed if he couldn’t get claws in the bastard that fucked up his life to begin with.
She trusted him, but he didn’t trust himself.
“Alex!”
Pant, plea, he only heard the need in her voice.
His mate needed him.
Alex sealed his lips to hers and fucked into her harder, trying to wash away the doubts. If the world had any mercy left for him, they’d circle the drain and flow far, far away.
Liv was everything. He couldn’t give her up.
And he couldn’t complete their bond.
Not until his demons were finally put to rest.
Ripples danced along his length. She was close. He wanted her pleasure.
Her nails bit into his arms, his shoulders, his scalp. He bore each temporary mark with pride. They were all he could wear at that moment.
Alex bucked into her, again and again. A familiar tingle settled in the base of his spine. He slid deeper, harder, and Liv exploded all around him.
His hips jerked, shortening to shallow thrusts, drawing out her release as long as he could before he slammed into her to find his own pleasure. Alex snarled against her neck as her fingers drove into his hair. Warmth flooded out of him in a wave of heat.
She was light. Pure, perfect light. In that moment, held by her and feeling her all around him, he could forget that monsters still existed in the world. His heart swelled simply being near her. Holding her was almost better than sex itself.
Almost.
Alex held her pressed against the tile and slowly sipped at her lips until the water started to cool, unable to let her go.
“We’re going to be late,” she murmured against his lips and wiggled.
Fuck. Alex squeezed his eyes closed on a groan. She felt too damn good. His cock twitched inside her.
He pressed his lips to hers, intending only for a final soft kiss. But then that wasn’t enough. He growled low and swept his tongue against the seam of her lips until she parted for him. She met him stroke for stroke, tangling her fingers in his hair and clinging tightly to him.
“Don’t want to go anywhere,” he rasped in a rough voice when he eased back.
“That sounds like an easy way for you to get bored of me.”
He cupped her cheeks and grazed his thumbs against her soft skin. Soft and unmarred. That was important. He hadn’t hurt her in the weeks since she stood in front of an oncoming train and demanded it halt. She’d brought him back from the brink of certain death.
He hadn’t claimed her, either.
His bear lodged a rumbled complaint that Alex dismissed.
“I will never get bored of you,” he promised harshly.
Doubt flickered in her scent and across her face. “Good.” She nipped his lower lip and ducked her eyes. “But you’ll definitely need to invest in a bigger water heater. And learn to love pruned skin. Really, maybe rethink the whole keeping of us in the shower. There’s a whole world out there to explore.”
His bear paced through his head at her ramble. He let her slide to her feet, but didn’t step away. He couldn’t. Not with unease prickling his skin. “What’s really on your mind?”
“You were out late again,” she said gently. “And when you did sleep, you tossed and turned all night.”
Fuck. Fuck. The pieces of his world sifted through his hands. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t keep himself steady. Unfinished business kept him on the prowl and threatened the brief happiness he found with Liv.
“Hey.” Liv pressed her hands to his cheeks. “Hey. Quiet that growl there, bad bear. You’re here with me. We’re safe. There’s nothing to worry about.”
“Sorry,” he said gruffly and wrenched out of her grasp. He rinsed quickly and stepped out, giving her space to finish up her shower.
Alex scrubbed a towel over his hair and wrapped it around his waist. A swipe across the mirror cleared enough fog for him to see himself—wild, glowing eyes and a chest that rose and fell too quickly.
Liv followed him a second later, wrapping herself in the towel hanging from a hook she’d claimed as her own. Worry drew her brows together. Most people would see him on the brink of a shift and run in the other direction. Not her. Brave woman wouldn’t leave his side even when all signs pointed to the end of the line.
He planted his hands on the counter and flexed his fingers. In the mirror, he met her gaze. Soft. Too soft for his world. Too good. He hated that his maker had tried to hurt her. Hated that he’d been the one to actually put claws against her skin.
“We’re not safe.” Agitation spiked his heart rate as he gave voice to the darkness still inside him. “Not really. How long until he tries again? What if I’m not there next time?”
He closed his eyes and saw the blood on her leg. On her throat. Skies above, she’d tamed his inner beast, but monsters still lurked in the dark.
That was why he roamed at night. Those thoughts kept him up late. Every time he let himself relax even an inch, they crept up on him in stark reminder of what he could lose.
His mate.
His bear roared a challenge at the world. No one would take her. No one would touch her. Not while they still drew breath.
Liv crossed the small space. Her arms wrapped around his chest and her cheek pressed against his back. Warmth rippled out from everywhere they connected. His muscles relaxed from hard stone to simply tense.
“Okay,” she said. “I guess you’ll just have to change me.”
“What?” Alex jerked upright.
“I’d be safest with you here at night. So if you’re determined to stay out all hours, then I need to be a bear so I can fight for myself.”
He spun around and searched her face. He couldn’t. Wouldn’t. Fuck, he’d be liable to kill her instead of doing it properly.
Her lips twitched with the ghost of a smile and he narrowed his eyes. “You’re fucking with me.”
“I am,” she conceded with a dip of her chin. The eyes she raised to his face were big with determination. “But it stopped you spiraling, and you didn’t need to go for a run so Liv, one. Alex, zero.”
“More like Liv, at least two. Alex, definitely one,” he smirked.
Liv shook her head in disapproval that didn’t match her laugh. When she quieted, scent turned serious, and she leaned into him again. “We’re going to get through this. You didn’t have anyone before, but you do now.”
Alex wrapped his arms around her and tucked his cheek against the top of her head. “What if we don’t?” Another roar echoed through his head, wild with anguish and anger and deep resentment for the monster that made them imperfect and unworthy of Liv. “What if I always need to shift and fight a thousand times a week?”
“Then I’ll invest in first aid kits.” She rose up on her toes and kissed his cheek. “I see all of you and I’m not running. I expect the same.”
He saw her. Grey-eyed beauty with a body to die for and a mind to think of a million reasons to keep crawling toward the next day.
Madwoman for loving a wild bear.
His madwoman.
He’d find a way to keep steady. She deserved nothing less.
Chapter 23
Liv frowned at the sample under the microscope. She’d started her morning with a quick look, hoping for some good news on top of the bad. Instead of living cells and a smaller area of ridges, the sample had completely deteriorated.
Balls.
Liv sat back and scowled at the microscope. Failure was more predictable than success, but that didn’t make the result any easier to stomach.
Despite her best efforts, her thoughts strayed back to Alex. They should be celebrating finding their way back to each other. And while mornings spent wasting the ho
t water or lazing in bed were nothing short of amazing, a dark cloud still hovered over them.
It’d never really gone away.
Liv worried about him. She didn’t want to repeat anything like the day in the cave. That’d he’d come back to her and seized control over his bear was nothing short of miraculous in her book, but the long hours spent in fur or twisting himself up in the sheets didn’t ease her head or heart.
She didn’t even mind the shifting and fighting. Alex had to blow off steam and burn off all the pent up energy. She wasn’t a fighter, but she understood the need. Living among the wild beasts had given her an appreciation for the subtle differences between her and them.
No, what bothered her was that Alex still hurt. He still hunted.
She was scared of what would happen if he ever found what he searched for.
How many others felt the same way? Both from her side, and his? She was glad for all the men and women who made it through changing from human into something more without any difficulty. The others needed all the help they could get.
The biggest leap of hope since the research facility began their work had vanished overnight.
The rest of the team filtered in slowly. They winced and frowned, then went back to the notes and data. Back to the drawing board. One more test tried and failed.
Liv tried not to let it bother her, but she stayed quiet all through the morning. When the others planned for lunch in town, she dipped out at the last second and went for a quick bite in the cafeteria.
The only thing that really cheered her up were the texts she found on her phone when she took a peek. Alex started his day with an unhealthy amount of pictures of Daisy being an adorable calf, then transitioned into more and more crude and exciting promises for what he wanted to do to her once she got home.
Liv’s cheeks flamed red when she pushed back into the lab, hoping for a few quiet minutes alone to get herself back into work mode.
Jenny whirled around. Liv froze, hand still on the door. They eyed each other for a long moment.
“What are you doing?” Liv asked finally. She flicked her eyes down to the large bag hanging from Jenny’s shoulder.
Jenny finishing sliding an entire tube rack into the bag. “Liv. You’re back early.”
“What are you doing?” she repeated.
Her blood ran cold. She knew. The words were just to give herself time to think and plan. Jenny had no reason to remove samples from the lab. No one did.
Jenny was the leak.
“Dr. Franco wanted me to send these off to another facility,” Jenny replied.
“Why? We’re the ones analyzing everything.” Fuck. Liv bounced her eyes around the room. The lab phone was too far away. She didn’t know if she could flag down security before Jenny vanished. Surely she had some other way out besides the freaking front door.
She reached into her back pocket and pulled out her phone. “Let me just give him a call and—”
“Put it down.” Regret and panic flashed across Jenny’s face, but that didn’t stop her from drawing a gun from within the bag and aiming it right at Liv.
Double fuck.
Liv slowly lowered her hand and dropped her cell to the nearest counter, keeping her eyes locked on Jenny and the gun. Betrayal stung. The accusations tossed her way were because of Jenny. Hell, the woman had probably pickpocketed her missing keycard. Jenny had taken research meant to help others and handed it over to a group determined to carry out despicable acts against anyone they deemed different.
And now she turned a gun on Liv.
They were supposed to be friends and colleagues, dammit!
“Let’s be reasonable,” Liv said soothingly when all she wanted to do was punch Jenny in the boob.
“I’m sorry. This is the only way.” Jenny winced. “They’ll hurt my family otherwise.”
“You can go to the cops. They can help.”
“They hurt my mom, Liv.” Jenny laughed harshly. “I tried refusing, but they were prepared for that. They had someone sitting outside her home. They smacked her around and made me listen, then asked if I wanted to hear that and worse happen to my nieces and sister. They were very fucking clear about what would happen if I told anyone.”
“Okay. Okay, you have to do this.” She took a step aside and away from the door. Maybe Jenny wouldn’t see her as such a threat if the path was clear. “I don’t have to be involved. You can just let me get on my merry old way.”
Every single ounce of brainpower not focused on talking her way out of trouble fired off pleas for help into the vast universe. A single person on their team returning. A lone security guard patrolling the halls. Someone taking a wrong turn at the elevator and walking past the window bank. Please fucking find me.
“And have you raise the alarm? Not happening.” Jenny’s jaw set in a firm line. “You really shouldn’t have come back so soon.”
Behind her, the door beeped with someone’s entrance. Liv twisted, relief whipping through her at the sight of a man dressed in a security uniform. She stumbled forward, eyes wide, and pointed back to Jenny. “You have to stop her! She has a gun and is trying to steal our research!”
The man nodded reassuringly, eyes flicking to the real threat. One hand stretched out in a sign for Jenny to halt, while the other went to the weapon on his belt. “Easy, now,” he said.
Liv’s relief died as quickly as he snagged her wrist and spun her against his body. She struggled, but he locked her arms down. Her scream cut off with a large hand slapped over her mouth.
“The fuck?” he demanded of Jenny. “I thought you said no witnesses?”
“She wasn’t supposed to be back yet. Help me tie her up.” Jenny gestured to her.
“Are you crazy? She could give us up.”
Liv’s blood chilled. She struggled again, shaking her head in denial. Nothing budged her captor.
Alex’s monster wasn’t the only one in the world.
Fuck. She couldn’t die. Not now. Not when she had a sliver of happiness with him. That whiff of a future wasn’t enough. She wanted more.
“We’re blown as soon as we’re done here,” Jenny said in a low voice. She gently set the bag on a counter and reached underneath to yank out extension cords. Those, she tossed to Liv’s feet. “We already have to burn the samples. That’ll still be our distraction. No murder necessary.”
“You think our bosses are going to be pleased if we don’t meet their demands?” the security guard growled. Even so, he forced Liv into the nearest chair. Jenny arrived and stuffed a cloth into her mouth, then went back to her business. The man wrapped the cords around her painfully tight, pinning her arms to her sides. “Who are you more scared to piss off, them or the locals?”
“We’re meeting them,” Jenny snapped.
Jenny dumped all the samples collected from shifters into the sink, then covered them over with flammable items. Liv winced for the lost hours and potential research as Jenny pulled a lighter from her bag. One swipe of her thumb brought flames to life. She held a torn paper to the fire and dropped it into the mess.
Whoosh.
The rush of flames licked up the edges of the sink and against the wall. Smoke billowed in a toxic, smudgy cloud.
“Let’s go.” Jenny looked over her shoulder once more. “Sorry,” she mouthed. Then she pulled the fire alarm and scrambled out of the lab.
Liv strained against the cords with all her might. Her tongue worked at the cloth in her mouth. One moved, the other barely budged.
“Help!” she yelled.
Smoke scratched at her throat. She pushed her chair as far from the burning sink of contaminants as possible, still working against the cords wrapped around her arms and chest.
Finally, something slipped. One cord loosened enough for her to twist and turn and wiggle enough slack to slip out from under the bindings and down to the floor.
Liv dove for the nearest fire extinguisher and sprayed the flames. Once they were out, she ran through the doors a
nd toward the stairs. She pushed through the crowd, dodging between bodies in her haste to get out of the building.
She stumbled through the doors sandwiched between others looking for an escape. Sirens blared, both from the building and in the distance. Every soul inside the facility either already milled in the parking lot or pushed to get outside. She scanned the crowd but there wasn’t any sign of Jenny or her partner in crime.
Dr. Strathorn huddled with a group of security officers. Liv shoved her way through the crowd to get to them. “Jenny!” she said in a rush. “Jenny started the fire and pulled the alarm. She’s been stealing information.” Her eyes flicked to the others. “And one of them helped her.”
Confusion furrowed Rylee’s brows for a half second before she whirled around to the others. “Pull everything on Dr. Jennifer Barnes. I want her found if she’s still on the grounds. Revoke all her credentials and shut her out of our systems. And find who helped her!”
The wailing sirens grew louder. Lights flashed and horns beeped to clear a path for the fire engine. Behind it, police cruisers blocked off the road to keep anyone from entering or exiting.
Rylee turned, grim focus on her face. “You stick near me. I want answers.”
And Liv gave them, as much as she could. Rylee hardly let her stray more than three feet away while they bounced from authority figures and subordinates. Liv watched her direct the security team in their investigation, then worked with the local police department and Supernatural Enforcement Agency to update the situation. Even when she fielded phone calls, Liv stayed nearby in case her words were needed in another detailed report.
Finally, one of the firefighters took Rylee aside and after giving her a kiss that curled Liv’s toes from ten feet away, he let them know the building was clear for regular occupation again.
Plans were put into place for the teams to go inside one by one and retrieve their belongings before being dismissed for the day. Liv was ordered to keep her phone on her in case she was needed for any other information, but was otherwise dismissed.
She marched away from the remaining crowd and eyed the line of vehicles all trying to leave at once. The second-floor teams hadn’t yet been called to grab their things, so she punched a number in her phone and prodded her arm where cords had so recently held her still. Tender, but she didn’t think she’d even bruise. All things considered, she was extremely lucky the day hadn’t turned out worse.