by Beth Rinyu
“Oh, god. Don’t be silly. You are boyfriend and girlfriend, therefore you have sex.” Her eyes remained focused on the road, but I could tell by the sound in her voice she was bothered by it. After she had left I laid into Ashley for doing that. She clearly did it on purpose after reading the text that had come through from Carrie while I was in the shower. I hated that she was so insecure in our relationship and my friendship with Carrie.
“Yeah, but that was just wrong of her to do. I was in the shower, I didn’t have a clue she was -”
“It’s fine, Jason. Really. Don’t feel bad about it.” I took her free hand that was resting on the center console. She bit her lip and took a deep breath, and I immediately let go, hoping I wasn’t making her feel uncomfortable. The only conversation during the rest of the ride was me giving her directions to Teigan’s house. The deafening silence between us was actually making me uncomfortable. Carrie and I never had a problem keeping up conversation. We could talk to each other about anything, but I knew this had bothered her, even if she wasn’t admitting it. I was happy when we finally pulled up to the rundown bungalow style house located in a less desirable part of town. I was hoping after talking to Teigan, Carrie’s mind would be occupied with other thoughts.
We walked up to the house and I rapped on the door, immediately hearing the deep barks of their Rottweiler. Carrie looked at me, and her eyes widened. “She sounds mean, but she’s really friendly,” I said.
“If you say so.” She sighed.
“Jason, come in,” Teigan’s father said as he opened the door. “Sheba, you stay!” He demanded of the dog. She sat down at his feet staring up at Carrie and me, waiting to be petted. I gave her a few pats on the top of her head and she seemed to be content.
“Mr. Holden, this is Carrie.”
“You don’t know how much I appreciate you coming here to talk to him,” he said, taking Carrie’s hand and gently shaking it.
“Not a problem,” Carrie replied. “But I’d really like to talk to you first, to get a little history.”
“Yeah, yeah, sure,” he said ushering her over to the couch.
“Jason, Teigan is in the backyard.”
I nodded and walked outside, allowing them to talk in private. It took me a few seconds to locate Teigan who was sitting under a tree at the edge of the property line. He was playing his guitar and lifted his head as I got closer. “’Sup?” he asked.
“Not much. Was that something new you were playing there?”
“Yeah, still working out some of the chords but it’s a start.” I nodded. “So do you think I’m nuts too?”
“No. Why would you even ask that?”
“Because my dad does. That’s why he’s making me talk to a shrink.” He took off his baseball cap and ran his hands through his shaggy brown hair before placing it back on his head.
“Carrie’s not a shrink, Teigan.”
“Then what is she?”
“She’s a counselor.”
“Exactly. She talks to fucked-up people like me.”
“You’re not fucked-up.”
“You don’t have to lie to try and make me feel better about myself. I’m a total screw-up.”
“You’re only a screw-up if you allow yourself to be.”
“Teigan!” His dad called from the back porch.
He let out an annoying breath and stood up. “Time to get my head shrunk.”
I followed behind him as he hesitantly made his way to his dad and Carrie. “Teigan, this is Carrie,” his dad said once we got closer.
“’Sup,” he said, looking down at the ground.
“Hi Teigan,” Carrie replied, stepping down onto the patio. “Shall we sit here?” She asked, pointing to the picnic bench. He shrugged his shoulders, still not making eye contact with her. She walked over to the table and took a seat with Teigan taking a seat across from her.
“I’ll be inside if you need me,” his dad said and I began to follow him.
“Wait,” Teigan shouted. “Jason, can you stay?”
I looked at Carrie and she nodded. I made my way back down the stairs and took a seat next to him.
“Okay, Teigan, tell me about yourself?” Carrie asked.
“What? I’m sure Jason and my dad already told you all about me.”
“Maybe they told me a little, but I want you to tell me.”
He looked at me, and I gave him a reassuring nod. “Like, what do you want to know?” he asked.
“I don’t know; whatever you feel like telling me.”
He reached into his pocket and took out a cigarette. “My dad’s okay with this,” he said when Carrie gave him a questioning gaze.
“Okay.” She gave him a reassuring smile.
“Is she your girlfriend or something?” he asked turning his attention to me. I shook my head. “Why not?”
“Because she’s a good friend of mine.”
“But she’s pretty hot.”
Carrie let out a slight giggle.
“Yeah, she is.” I shot her a quick smile and watched her blush.
“Well, then why isn’t she your girlfriend?”
“Teigan, Jason and I met in high school when we were around your age and we’ve always just been good friends. Do you have any good friends like that in school?”
He let out a loud laugh. “Not exactly friends. I mean, I chill with a few kids, but my dad gets pissed because he says they’re no good.”
“Well, is that true?”
“Maybe.” He took a drag of his cigarette.
“Well, why would you say that?”
“They like to drink and smoke.”
“Cigarettes?”
“Among other things. Look, I don’t know why you’re wasting your time with me, I’m nothing but a fuck-up, and I always will be. My mom was the smart one to leave. She knew I would never be anything but a waste.”
“You were a little boy when your mom left. You weren’t the cause of that.”
His eyes began to tear up. “Then why did she leave?” His voice cracked with emotion.
“I don’t know Teigan, but whatever reasons she had, it had nothing to do with you.” He quickly wiped the tear that was rolling down his face. I sat there in awe over Carrie’s ability to break him down so quickly. He always tried to be a little hard ass in front of everyone else and here he was actually shedding tears. I got up, wanting to give them their privacy. I wasn’t sure if he would feel more comfortable divulging more information to her if I wasn’t sitting right there. When he didn’t protest to me leaving, I knew I was right.
“How’s it going out there?” his dad asked when I walked inside.
“Pretty good. She’s really getting him to open up.”
He let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you so much for this. I’m at my wits end. I wish I could quit my second job so I could be around more to keep an eye on him, but if I do, we’ll be homeless.”
“You’re doing the best you can.”
He shook his head and looked out the window. “When I came home the other night, he was so drunk and high, I thought I was going to have to take him to the emergency room to have his stomach pumped. It’s killing me watching him do this to himself.” His voice cracked with emotion.
“Mr. Holden, what kind of drugs do you think he’s doing?” He hesitated for a moment. “I can assure you, this will not leave this room.”
He nodded and continued. “He’s been getting prescription pills from a few of the degenerates he’s been hanging with. I know those kids are big heroin users, too. My biggest fear is he’s going to start using if he hasn’t already.” He walked over to the counter and grabbed a paper towel, dabbing the tears from his eyes. All I could think of for a brief second was my dad and our relationship. Here was a man that loved his son the same way my dad loved me. I couldn’t imagine putting my dad through the hell Teigan was putting his dad through, and I immediately sympathized with both of them.
“Mr. Holden, I promise you, I’ll do whatever I ca
n to get Teigan the help he needs.”
“Thank you so much.” He let out a deep breath and looked out the window. “I thought his mother did him a favor when she left. She had her own issues and was battling her own addictions.”
“Do you ever hear from her?”
He nodded. “A few years ago. She was living in Indiana with some man she met. She was drunk when she called. I hung up on her and never heard from her again. What kind of mother walks out on their kid?” His voice cracked with emotion.
I shook my head. “I don’t know.”
He pulled himself together when he saw Carrie and Teigan getting up to enter the house. Carrie gave him a reassuring smile when she came inside. “Well, I got to know Teigan a lot better and he’s agreed to come to my office to talk to me.”
“What day is good for you?” he asked.
“I can see him on Tuesdays after hours. Six sound okay?”
“That’s fine.” He waited until Teigan was out of earshot before he began to speak again. “Carrie, I can’t afford to pay up front, but I can do payments.”
Carrie waved her hand in a dismissive manner. “Please, don’t worry about it. I just want to see him get better. That’s all the payment I need.”
“Thank you. Thank you so much.” I could tell he was getting emotional once again.
“Here’s my card. My cell phone number is on the back. Please call me at any time if you need to.”
“You two are angels. I thought it was the worst thing in the world when he got arrested, turns out it was the best thing that could have happened to him. We would have never crossed paths.” He placed his hand on my shoulder. “I can’t thank you enough.”
My attention was diverted to Teigan who had just walked back out of his room with a CD in his hand. “Here you go. It’s not too great but I’m working on it.”
“I’m sure it’s awesome. I can’t wait to listen to it. Thanks for sharing this with me.”
“I’ll see you guys later,” he said, heading back into his room.
A smile stretched across his dad’s face for the first time since we had gotten there. “He doesn’t share his music with anyone. Maybe this is a sign.”
“Maybe.” Carrie smiled back.
I realized in that moment how lucky I was to have a family that loved me and friends that were always there for me. As I gazed at the beautiful woman standing next to me I knew she was a reason to count my blessings twice.
Chapter 7
Carrie
After a few weeks on the job, I was finally finding my groove. I was getting to know my patients a little better, dodging Mary and her evasive questions, and I was able to overlook Gwen’s over-analytical behavior every time she’d speak to me. Teigan had been coming to see me for the past two weeks, and I was feeling confident with the progress I was making with him. After listening to his CD, I realized he had a true talent for music, and I was hoping he would use that as part of his healing process. He still had a lot of anger issues he had to work through over his mom leaving, but he was keeping the lines of communication open. I could tell it was like a huge weight off his shoulders when he would speak about it. We only touched briefly on his drug and alcohol use but I was getting there. I wanted him to build trust in me first so he could feel comfortable enough to talk to me about it. I saw the same great kid Jason did behind his tough exterior, and I only hoped I could change him for the better.
I had just finished up with my last patient and was looking forward to starting the weekend. This weekend was going to be even more special because Brett was flying in tomorrow. I was meeting him in the city and spending the night with him. I was hoping to pop in on Gia as well.
“TGIF!” Mary shouted as she shut down her computer. “Got any big plans?”
“Actually, I do! My boyfriend is flying in from California and we’re spending the weekend in New York City.”
“Oh…that sounds nice.” She said, sounding a little slighted.
“Yeah, I’m really excited!” I played it up even more. “I’m going to get a pedicure and my nails done so I can look perfect for him.”
“Well, some guys would take you just the way you are. My David wouldn’t care about your toes or your nails.”
I waved my hand in the air. “Oh well, my boyfriend loves me just the way I am, too. I just want to look extra special for him.”
“Oh…mmm-hmm.” I could tell she was only half paying attention to me.
“Okay my dear, next week I could fit you in during the morning,” Gwen said as she escorted her patient out of her office. I briefly looked up from the paperwork I was signing and had to do a double take. Ashley.
I bopped my head back down so quickly that I heard my neck crack. Any hopes of her not noticing me faded when I heard her matter of fact tone that she always used with me. “Carrie?” her voice cracked ever so slightly.
“Oh, hey!” I lifted my head and tried to act as nonchalant as possible. She gazed at me as if she was in a trance.
“Umm...I didn’t know you worked here.”
“Oh yeah.” I nodded and gave her a nervous smile
She nodded back. I couldn’t help but notice her trembling hands when she pushed her hair behind her ear. Clearing her throat, she turned her attention back to Gwen. “Umm, I have to check my schedule to see if morning works for me next week. I’ll give you a call and let you know.”
“Sounds good to me,” Gwen said, walking back into her office, leaving me feeling awkward and alone with Ashley.
“Umm, Carrie, Jason doesn’t know I’m talking to Gwen, and I would really prefer he didn’t find out. I’ve just got some –”
I put my hand up to stop her from talking. “Ashley, I would never say anything to him. I could lose my job for that.”
She nodded, still looking a little uneasy as she walked out the door, and I sat there silently, wondering exactly what skeletons Ashley Kingston had in her closet. I only hoped they weren’t ones that were going to hurt Jason.
***
My toes and nails were the perfect shade of purple. I tried my best to concentrate on the great weekend ahead instead of running into Ashley and worrying if her problems were going to affect Jason. I stopped off for Chinese takeout and was pleasantly surprised to see Brett standing in front of my apartment.
“Brett!” I shouted as I got out of my car, rushing to him and throwing my arms around him. “What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t coming until tomorrow!”
“I was able to get a flight out today and figured I’d surprise you.”
“Well, this is the best surprise ever!” I hugged him again, happy I was feeling butterflies over the sight of him. He looked as handsome as always. Even though he was only a little taller than me, he was built. He had one of the nicest bodies I had ever seen on a guy. His dark brown hair was cut a little shorter than when I’d last seen him, but his big, brown eyes were just the same as I remembered, always exuding so much emotion. I handed him the bag of Chinese food while I unlocked my door.
“Wow, nice place!” he said as he walked in.
“Thanks! I’ll give you the tour….after.”
“After what?
“After this, silly…..”
***
We spent the rest of the night hanging out and watching TV just like we used to do all the time. It felt so nice. So familiar. He looked at his phone and laughed. “What’s so funny?” I asked.
“Jason.”
Jason. Why did my heart sink at the mere mention of his name?
He read the text message that Jason had sent out loud:
I was going to stop by earlier, but I figured you were making up for lost time. See you tomorrow, bro.
I forced a giggle to mask how I was feeling just thinking about Jason. “He’s so crazy.” I leaned over and kissed Brett on the lips.
“Damn, Carrie. I’m liking this long distance thing. It’s turned you into a sex maniac.”
I playfully smacked him on the arm. “I
can’t help it. I just missed you! Hey, did I take you on a tour of the bedroom?”
“I believe you did, but feel free to show me again.” We both laughed and stood up as I led him into my room. This was the man I loved. This was the man I was going to make love to once again. So why was I wondering where Jason was, and what he was doing at that very moment?
***
Jason
“Hey, did you want to meet up with Carrie and Brett tomorrow night?” I asked Ashley as she prepared dinner after insisting she cook.
“Umm…I don’t know,” she said, never lifting her head from her chopping.
“Well, Brett’s only here for a few days, and I want to make sure I get to see him before he heads back.”
“Ouch! Damn it!” she shouted, running over to the kitchen sink.
“What’s the matter?” I asked.
“I cut my damn finger.”
She was so on edge, which was nothing new. She was always stressed out with her job. Ashley worked for a big advertising firm and was always under pressure, but tonight she seemed worse than usual. “Hey, let me see,” I said, coming up behind her and examining her finger. I wrapped it in a paper towel and applied pressure to it. “I told you that you didn’t have to cook, we could have just gone out.”
She looked up at me and began to cry. “No, I wanted to cook you dinner. You’re so good to me, and I just wanted –” she began to sob hysterically.
I wrapped my arms around her. “Hey, what’s the matter?”
“Nothing. I just feel like I can’t do anything right.”
“Oh, Ash, come on.” I kissed the top of her head.
She looked up at me and grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me into a deep kiss. I held up my hands when she pushed me up against the kitchen counter. “Wow….what’s up with this?” Not that I was complaining, but I just thought it was a little weird how she could go from an emotional wreck to a raving sex fiend in a matter of seconds. I wasn’t going to question it, especially when she unbuttoned my jeans and got down on her knees. I had to catch my breath when she wrapped her lips around me. I leaned my head back into the kitchen cabinet and ran my hands through her hair…..apparently she knew how to do something right.