by Beth Rinyu
“She’s a cop?!” she sounded just as surprised as I was with that one.
“My thoughts exactly. She looks more like a model.”
“Okay, so why don’t we like her?” she giggled.
I laughed back. It was absolutely ridiculous of me to not like this girl. Was I really that insecure with myself that I had to go around hating on her just because she was pretty, a bit of a flirt, and she worked with Jason? I looked over to make sure that Jason and Ben were still engrossed with their own conversation about baseball before I responded.
“No reason. Just the fact that she’s gorgeous, and she referred to me as Jason’s sister.”
“First of all, you’re a hundred times prettier than her!”
“Of course you would say that, you’re my mother.”
“No, I’m being dead serious, Carrie. Why would you even say that about yourself? You’re a beautiful girl.”
“I don’t know, Mom. It just kinda made me feel how I did back in high school with Jason. All the pretty, popular girls always fell at his feet, and I just always thought it was strange that he would even want to be friends with me. Now, I guess, seeing this girl is bringing back all of those insecurities and making me wonder why he’d want to date me. And then there’s the whole “stepsister” thing…..I don’t know, for the first time it really kinda bothers me.”
“Carrie, Jason loves you and he sees you for exactly what you are; a beautiful, caring, loving, smart….”
I held my hand up and laughed. “Okay, Mom, I get it!”
“And as far as the stepsister part, well, that’s just something you’re going to have to get over. Just remember you guys were friends before you were….”
I shook my head. “Don’t say it, Mom!” We both let out a loud laugh finally causing Jason and Ben to stop talking and take notice of us.
“What’s so funny?” Jason asked.
“Oh, nothing, Carrie’s just trying to get me to stop saying dirty words over here.” My mother smirked.
Ben got up and stood behind my mom, wrapping his arms around her. “I love it when you talk dirty.” She tilted her head back and looked up at him, stretching her neck to give him a kiss on the lips.
“Uh, guys there are children present!” I shouted. Jason and I both laughed. I was smiling on the inside as well. They were such an adorable couple and I loved seeing my mom this happy.
“Oh, Carrie, we booked our trip to Aruba, and Gram and Pop are going to be watching Rufus when we go. Can you please just stop in and check on him? You know that Pop always tries to give him stuff that he’s not supposed to be eating, and I just want to make sure that I don’t come back to a tick that looks like it’s going to burst!” Rufus may have been an old man but he was still my mother’s little fur baby.
“Yes, Mom, I will make sure that Rufus is not doing anything he’s not supposed to.”
“Check around while you’re over there and make sure there aren’t any extra treats that I don’t approve of him eating. You know I only buy the organic treats from the holistic pet shop. So if you see any of that other stuff that you can find in just any old store, throw it away!”
Ben rolled his eyes and I couldn’t hold back my laughter. “What?” she turned around and asked him.
“Melanie, you are out of control with that dog.”
“Excuse me, but he is not a dog, he’s my baby!”
“Mom, you guys just have a great time in Aruba, and don’t worry about Rufus. He’ll be fine.”
She nodded, finally looking satisfied that Rufus would be in good hands. “I’m starving! Let’s go see if our table is ready,” my mother said, grabbing Ben’s hand with Jason and I following close behind. I turned back, remembering that I’d left my phone on the bar. I couldn’t help but take one last look at the trio on the other side of the bar and I wished I hadn’t when I saw Jackie checking out every single inch of Jason while she stood between her colleagues sucking on a damn lime. Suddenly, I was no longer adult Carrie Maynard, with a great apartment, a great job, and even greater boyfriend. I was teenage Carrie Maynard, the meek, nerdy, insecure girl sitting in front of the most popular boy in school, wishing I could be one of the cool girls.
***
Jason
Carrie came to my place after dinner, surprising me when she got up to leave once the movie we’d been watching finished. "Where are you going?" I asked.
"Well, it's kinda late, I’m beat, and I have a ton of laundry to catch up on."
"Well, then let's go to bed and you can go home and do your laundry in the morning." She bit her bottom lip and let out a deep breath. She wasn't herself all night; clearly she had something on her mind. I moved closer to her and moved her hair from her face. "Are you gonna tell me what's been bothering you?"
"It's nothing. I'm just being stupid, that's all."
"About what?"
"Did you and that girl ever have something going on?"
"What girl?"
"That police officer from the bar tonight."
Damn. I’d been hoping to avoid this conversation. My one night hook-up that I had with Jackie was something that we both swore we’d keep to ourselves. If anyone at work had found out about it, we could’ve been reprimanded and potentially fired but I trusted Carrie and couldn't lie to her.
"A long time ago. It was just a one night thing." I suddenly doubted the wisdom of being honest with her when I saw the blank stare on her face. She looked down at the floor. "Carrie, this was like a year and a half ago. There is nothing at all between us anymore." She nodded, but I could see her eyes building with emotion. “That happened once after one too many drinks. We could’ve gotten into serious trouble at work if anyone found out."
"Is that the only reason that it happened just once."
"What? No, Carrie not at all. She’s not my type."
"Why not? She's gorgeous."
Sometimes she drove me nuts with her thinking. "No, Carrie, you are gorgeous."
She shook her head and looked away. "She was flirting with you right in front of me. I get that she thinks I’m just your stepsister, so it shouldn’t matter to me, but even if she didn't know that, I have a feeling she’d be wondering what someone like you is doing with someone like me."
What the fuck was she talking about? If anything, people would wonder what someone like Carrie was doing with someone like me. She was beyond beautiful, had a great personality to match, and was smart as hell. "What do you mean someone like you, Carrie?"
"I don't know Jas, sometimes I look at you and all of those old insecurities come back to me."
"Where is this all coming from?"
“You were one of the most popular kids in our school. Everyone knew who Jason Wilder was, and I guess I always wondered why you would want to be friends with the nerdy girl who sat in front of you in Calculus class. Kind of how I look at you now. I sometimes wonder why you would choose me when you still have all of these beautiful women falling all over you.”
Carrie always appeared to be so self-confident on the surface, and I hated that she secretly felt this way about herself.
“Okay, first of all, I never thought of you as a nerdy girl. Smart, yes, but not nerdy. There was just something special about you, Carrie and I knew it the first time you spoke to me.” I pulled her closer and pressed my forehead to hers. “And as far as beautiful women go, you are the most beautiful one of all, and I’m the lucky one to have you as my girlfriend. I waited for what seems like forever to have you in my life in this way, and if I had to wait double that time again, I would.” I was happy to see the beginnings of a smile adorn her face.
“I’m sorry, Jason. I’m just being silly. I don’t know why I’m feeling this way.”
“Just don’t ever doubt how I feel about you, Carrie. You know me better than anyone. I would never lie to you about how I’m feeling, or anything else for that matter.”
“I know,” she whispered.
“That’s one of the things I like most ab
out us.”
“What’s that?” she asked.
“We can be completely honest and open with each other, and not play those games that other couples do. I can tell you anything and know that you can handle it and vice versa. Not too many people can say they have the type of trust that we have and to me, that is the most important thing in any relationship.”
Her eyes glassed over and she swallowed hard, looking like she was getting a little choked-up.
“What’s the matter?”
She shook her head and the first teardrop escaped her eye. “Nothing.” She rested her head on my chest and ran her hands up and down my back. “I just love you, Jason. Always have and always will." She hugged me a little tighter and then looked up at me, trying her best to form a smile on her tear-stained face. “Let’s go to bed.”
Chapter 25
Carrie
My eyes focused on the flashing red of the clock: 2:17 a.m. and I was still wide awake. I turned on my side and watched Jason’s chest rise and fall, replaying his words over and over in my head about being honest and having trust. I wished that I had told him about Ashley the minute I found out, even though they’d broken up and it technically didn’t matter anymore, it still mattered to me. I knew I’d kept something from him, and if he ever found out, he’d never trust me again. Then there was that Jackie girl; even though he was being completely honest, it still stung a bit when he told me they slept together. Based on the way she’d been checking him out and flirting with him tonight, something told me that maybe their one night ‘thing’ had meant more to her than it had to Jas. I knew I never had to worry about Jason cheating on me, so it was silly of me to be stressing over something that had happened before we were together. The same way that it was silly of me to be stressing over this whole thing with Ashley. Both of those girls were in his past. I was his present and hopefully his future.
He rolled over on his side and briefly opened his eyes before closing them once again and pulling me closer. My body pressed against his as I found myself wrapped in his arms and planted kisses on his warm chest. As I closed my eyes, I finally found myself becoming more relaxed and it wasn’t long before I was fast asleep in his arms.
***
“Hey, sleepyhead.” The strong aroma of freshly brewed coffee flooded my senses. Normally, this was my favorite way to be woken up, but this morning, I had no desire for coffee whatsoever. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, while Jason placed the coffee mug on the night table. I felt so out of it. “What time is it?” I asked, stretching my entire body.
“Nine thirty,” he replied.
My eyes finally adjusted to his shirt which was drenched in sweat and his running shorts. “Did you go out for a run already?” He nodded. “God, I feel like such a lazy bum,” I hopped out of bed. “Why did you let me sleep so late?”
“Umm….because it’s the weekend and you were tired. What’s the big deal?”
I shrugged my shoulders and went to hug him. “Umm, Carrie I am beyond sweaty right now. It’s like one hundred percent humidity out there.”
“That’s okay.” I pulled him closer, wrapping my arms around his sweat-drenched body. His hands moved up my back and my insides began to awaken. “I can help get you un sweaty,” I whispered, trailing my lips up his neck. He moved his lips to mine and I pulled away, taking him a little off guard. “Meet me in the bathroom in two minutes.” He creased his eyebrow at me. “Umm….I need to brush my teeth first.” He shook his head and let out a light chuckle as I headed into the bathroom and freshened my breath. “Ready?” I shouted once I was done. He was reading something on his phone when he walked into the bathroom. “What’s wrong?” I asked when I saw him shake his head and place his phone on the bathroom vanity.
“I have to go in for a few hours of overtime.”
“Oh, damn……well, do we still have time for a shower?”
His smile broadened. “Hell, yeah.” We didn’t waste any time undressing and his lips were all over my body in a matter of seconds. I reached around and turned on the water, and we both stepped into the shower. He pushed me against the shower wall as the water cascaded over us. His hands began to wander all over my body, and I don’t ever remember seeing such a strong desire in his eyes as I was witnessing at that moment. That was confirmed when my hand descended downward, feeling his rock-hard erection. I ran my fingers through his wet hair and his breathing became heavier. He gripped the back of my thigh and wrapped it around his waist, letting out a loud groan when he slid inside of me.
Panic immediately set in. Condoms. We forgot about the condoms. I still wasn’t back on the pill and was already worrying about the last time we had done it without protection. “Jason,” I whispered as my back pounded against the shower wall. He was totally zoned out and focused on the task at hand. “Jas,” I said a little louder.
“What?” he whispered as his lips skimmed my earlobe, making their way down my neck.
“We forgot a condom.” Talk about a mood killer.
“Fuck it, Carrie.” I stared up at him and moved my hands to the side of his face, tilting his head, forcing him to look at me. “Carrie, I’m fuckin’ dying here don’t make me stop. We’ll be fine….I promise.”
Famous last words that every dumb teenage girl believes right before their life turns into something from a Lifetime movie, but Jason and I were so far past that stage in our life. I knew that if something were to happen, we could handle it. “Okay, fine, but don’t think that line is really gonna work on me. I’m not a naïve sixteen year old anymore.”
He was so into the moment that I wasn’t even sure if he realized what I had said. His movements became more intense, and I knew he was at his breaking point. “Carrie, I don’t know how much longer I can hold out.”
“Then do it,” I whispered in his ear. And with those three little words, he did.
“Ah….Carrie,” he grunted, moving in and out of me one last time.
I kissed him gently on the lips while he tried to catch his breath. “You’re lucky I love you so much.”
He finally cracked a smile and was returning to normal, sweet Jason instead of sexually-frustrated Jason. “Yeah, I am.”
***
Jason
After our shower, I dressed and threw back another cup of coffee. “Alright, I’m coming!” I spoke to myself, assuming it was work when I heard my phone beeping with a text message. I was taken a little off-guard when I saw who it was actually from.
Ashley: Hey Jason. Can we talk? My mother passed away a few days ago, and I could really use a friend right now.
Shit. I hadn’t heard from Ashley since the day we’d broken up. I felt bad over what had happened, but I couldn’t continue to be with her when I was in love with someone else. I hurried up and put my phone back on the counter when I heard Carrie walk into the kitchen.
“Everything okay?” she asked, pouring herself a cup of coffee.
“Oh, yeah….” I cleared my throat. “I just gotta get headed into work.” I hated keeping things from Carrie, but there was no way in hell I was gonna tell her about that text. She hated Ashley and she had expressed that hatred even more after we’d broken up. For the sake of our relationship, she was better off not knowing. I chugged down the rest of my coffee and grabbed my phone and keys from the counter. “Don’t forget to lock up when you leave.” I placed a kiss on her forehead and was out the door.
I started my car and stared down at Ashley’s text. Her mom had died. I had dumped her and told her I was in love with someone else and now she needed someone to talk to. I could at least give her ten minutes of my time, and Carrie wouldn’t ever have to know. My fingers began to type before my mind could even stop them:
Sorry to hear about your mom. I have to go into work for a few hours, but maybe we could meet up for a few minutes when I’m done.
I hit the send button without thinking twice about it. I did feel really bad for the way I had just dumped her, so maybe this would help absolve some of that guilt.
Ten minutes of my time wasn’t such a big price to pay to listen to her problems and at the same time put my mind at ease over the way we had ended things.
***
I finished up work and was now second-guessing myself about meeting up with Ashley. If Carrie found out, she’d be really pissed, only adding more fuel to that particular fire was the fact that I didn’t tell her beforehand. Yeah, I was making a total dick move. Maybe I would just text her back and let her know I couldn’t make it. I knew that Ashley didn’t have many close friends to talk to, but I also didn’t want to give her a false sense of hope that my ten minutes of courtesy was anything but that. When I pulled into my driveway, it seemed as if Ashley had already made that decision for me when I saw her car parked in front of my house. Shit. If I was going to meet up with her, this was the last place I wanted it to be.
“Ashley, what are doing here? I told you I would text you when I was done.”
She shrugged her shoulders as she approached me. “Well, it looks like you’re done. How have you been, Jas?”
I nodded and flinched when she went to touch my face. She still looked like the same perfectly put together Ashley that I’d always known, even having just lost her mother. I could tell she was waiting for me to invite her in, but instead I took a seat on the front porch. “So, are you and Carrie…” She started, taking a seat next to me.
“Ashley, I really don’t want to talk about Carrie with you.”
“Yeah, okay fine.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a cigarette.
“Since when do you smoke?” I asked as I watched her fight with the breeze to light it up.
She shrugged. “It beats doing other things.”
“So, what happened with your mother?”
She blew out a puff of smoke and looked straight ahead. “I was in London when I got the call. My aunt found her in her house, dead. They think it was her heart, but it’s still pending an autopsy. If you ask me, it was probably her damn liver giving out on her from all of the drinking.” She seemed more angry than upset over the whole thing, but then again, Ashley never really showed her emotions to anyone. “You look really good, Jas.” She tilted her head and stared into my eyes.