by Sm Donaldson
“Chad, aren’t you forgetting something?” I jiggle my hands in the cuffs.
“Oh no. I’m coming back after I catch my breath. We are going several rounds today. When I let you go to your little band practice in the morning, I want you to be sore and thinking of me.”
~*~*~
The alarm is going off. I try to reach and turn it off but my hands are still in the handcuffs. I kick Chad. “Wake up. I can’t turn the alarm off. Get these damn cuffs off me, the joke is over.”
He chuckles as he turns off the alarm. When he reaches to undo the cuffs, he looks at me. “This was no joke, baby. It was a reminder that you are mine. I can do whatever I want to you. I am the law.”
A few minutes later, I’m standing in the shower and he was right. I’ll be thinking about him all day. Thinking about how much I hate him, thinking about how to explain the bruising around my wrists. Thinking about how I’m fucking raw because of how much he fucked me.
Getting out, I make my way to the room and dress for practice.
Walking into Keeg’s house, the guys stare at me. I stop and stare. “What?”
Stoney chuckles. “You look like shit, that’s what.” He flails his hands around, making fun of my bitchiness.
I walk over to get my bass out of the case. “Just had a long night.”
I’m reaching for some notes I made about a song when Keeg grabs my arm. “What in the hell happened to your wrists?”
I look down to see that I do have bruises forming now. “It’s nothing.”
I try to play it off. I can’t appear weak to these guys. I’m already the relationship fuck up, they can’t see that I let someone chain me to a fucking bed all night against my will.
Stoney looks down at them. “Nothing?”
Gable steps over. “What do you mean nothing? Did someone hurt you?”
I can tell they aren’t going to stop. “Look, I don’t ask you guys about your kinky sex lives, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t ask about mine.”
That makes them go away finally. Nothing like the girl you consider your sister grossing you out with kinky sex. Gable just stares at me, almost as if he can see through me, but more than likely it’s that he can’t believe someone would want to have kinky sex with someone like me.
“Let’s just get to work.” I say.
Gable stops in the middle of the floor. “Hey guys, a woman for the company promoting Ransom’s End’s new tour called me yesterday. They would like for us to get in contact with them about being an opening act, possibly starting in about three weeks.”
We all stop and stare. Keeg leans against the door frame. “Did you just say someone wants us to tour and open for Ransom’s End starting in a few weeks?”
Gable smiles and nods. “Yep. Well, a guy came and saw our show. He likes us, but they’ll give us an answer after they come to our show tomorrow night. They want a second look. We might make some money, too.”
Stoney grins and grabs me around my waist, spinning me around.
Stoney stops. “What’s up, Ivie girl? You don’t seem happy. You don’t want to go on tour with us or something?”
I smile my best fake smile and shake my head. “No, it’s not that. I think I’m still in shock or something.”
They all chuckle and Stoney smiles. “Good. I was beginning to worry.”
Twenty-one Years Old
Yesterday, when Holly from the tour company called me, it was like a dream. I know I had to sound like I was half stoned or something the way I was stuttering around my words. I had to ask her to repeat what she said. I couldn’t wait to surprise the guys today at practice.
I have to say though, Ivie’s reaction was a little off. I hope she’s not planning on leaving the band. That new douche nozzle she’s been living with isn’t very supportive of her being in the band. She never says anything but I can tell he doesn’t. He never comes to our shows, when he’s around he guards her like a freakin’ hound, and he talks down to her. I don’t think she realizes we know that, but Stoney overheard a phone call one night. So needless to say, we don’t like him.
I think if we get this tour, it will be good for her. She’s been beat down a lot in her life but she never cries about it. How her nasty whore mom took off and left her. How her dad was sent to prison or her aunt that treated her like a second class citizen when she was forced to live there.
Stoney found an old report card when she lived with him. She was a fucking honor student. I don’t know what happened, but she got kicked out. She got her GED and has been on her own ever since.
How does one girl take up this much space in my head? It’s not like I want her or anything either. I just worry about her. I’ll admit, when we first met and I was a horny 17 year old boy, I would’ve fucked her and not thought twice about it. But she’s one of us and I can’t let that get messed up by my dick.
Once practice is over I glance over at her wrists again. If I find out that asshole has been hurting her, I’ll make him wish he was never born. I don’t care that he’s a fucking cop.
I make my way down to Bay Street Blues, the bar we play at on Bay Street, to talk to Dottie, the bartender/manager of the place. I need to let her know about the show tomorrow night. She’s probably going to cuss my ass out, but she’ll be proud, too. She gave us a shot when none of the other bars liked our sound.
I walk through the tinted glass front door. “Hey Sexy, how’s it going?”
She laughs. “Son, if I thought you were half serious and I weren’t so in love with Frank, I’d take you in the back room and teach you all about sex.”
“Hey, I haven’t gotten any complaints.”
“Yeah but have you gotten a standing ‘O’?”
I shake my head, she never ceases to amaze me with what comes out of her mouth.
She leans up on the bar. “So what brings you by today?”
I sit down at the bar and she shoves a Blue Moon beer in front of me. “Well, a lady called me yesterday from a tour company. A guy from their group came in here and watched our show one night. They are interested in signing us up to open for Ransom’s End in the fall, well technically in about three weeks. They are coming back tomorrow night with a couple more guys to watch us.”
She yells. “Whoo hoo! My kids are gonna make it big time. I think you are an asshole for leaving me, but I think I’ll get over it.”
“I just wanted to let you know about them coming in tomorrow night and so that you knew you may need to start looking for a new band.”
She walks around the bar and sits down by me. “Gable, I’m proud of you guys. Now, I’m pissed that I won’t have you guys here, because you fill every damn barstool and chair in this place when you play. I do understand it, though.”
I look up. “Thanks, Dottie. You’ve been our rock, you know.”
“Yeah well, you just don’t forget where you’ve come from, and make sure those boys behave themselves. Keep an eye on Ivie, she’s more fragile than she lets off.”
I nod. “Well don’t say too much, I don’t want to jinx it. Holly said they’d watch us tomorrow night and get back with us within a week. I guess all the guys who were scouting are together now and looking at all the talent they found.”
“You just stay positive and play your ass off tomorrow night.”
~*~*~
Well, it’s been exactly two weeks since Holly called us the first time, and she called me today to tell us we were in. I called up the band and told them and everyone is thrilled. Ivie has still been a little distant, but maybe it’s just nerves.
I’m on my way now to meet my sister Scarlet at the bar and tell her our big news. She’s getting ready to start SCAD in the fall so this is big for both of us. She’s done some amazing artwork for our band. Hopefully some of the bigger names will like it and get her some work.
I know she’s going to be upset that I’m leaving. We have always been each other’s backbone. Once our dad went to prison and our mom was like a lovesick hippie that goe
s on spiritual retreats, we’ve only really had each other. Which Scarlet and I are lucky our mom put roots down here. My grandparents move around like gypsies and they did that when mom was young, too. I can respect the fact that she has done this for us, but after we got old enough to stay by ourselves, she started going on her retreats. She’s never dated, or even attempted to, after our dad left. I wish more than anything she’d just move on from him.
Walking into the bar, she’s already there talking to Dottie. I haven’t even brought any of this up to her until now, so it’s going to be a shock.
We sit down and talk. I explain it all to her, and she’s sad and scared. She is proud of me though, my sister would give up damn near anything for me, just like I would for her.
She’s had a rough go of it lately. She found out her boyfriend was cheating on her with not just another girl, but a guy, too. She lost it and beat the shit out of his car with an ax handle and now she has community service.
Of course, our free love mom has not been that supportive of my sister’s violent streak as she called it. When I told mom that I would’ve beat the hell out of him myself, she wasn’t happy about that either.
So me leaving makes her feel like I’m abandoning her like our dad. She actually liked him when we were little, he treated her like a princess, but doesn’t he treat any woman that way? Considering we know he was married to my mom and our brother, Cade’s mom at the same time. We don’t have a clue about him since he got out of prison, and I really don’t care.
I really didn’t even want to find Cade, but Scarlet begged for her birthday for us to go find him. I’m glad she did though, he’s a cool guy and obviously a lot better man than our dad. He chose his family over an NFL career. His wife is amazing and their friends are cool. I also found out that I have a very cool ass three year old niece, Madison, who is bossy and hilarious. They also have a little boy on the way.
~*~*~
This week has flown by. Scarlet and I have had a chance to talk more. I think she’s into this guy, Ryder, from her Community Service. She supposedly hates him, but her eyes dance when she talks about him. I haven’t watched them do that in a really long time. I really hope that she’ll let her guard down and give him a shot.
I have Scarlet drive me over to Stoney’s. I’m going to let her use my car while I’m gone. Once we’re in the driveway, I see the tears coming out of her eyes. “Scar, I’ll be back before you know it.”
“I know, I just worry, and I know I’ll miss you.”
“Look, just take care of my car and don’t get arrested anymore. Okay?’
She nods and falls into my chest. “Okay, I’m going to go. I need to go pick some stuff up for mom.”
I kiss her on her forehead. “Okay kid, I love you. Take care.”
I watch her get in the car and drive away.
Stoney steps out. “She gonna be okay, man?”
“I think so. Everybody ready to go?”
“Ivie’s not here yet.”
“What the fuck man?”
“Look, I’ve tried calling her, and Keeg has tried. Hopefully she’ll be here soon.”
I let my head fall back. “She fucking better be. Is something going on with her? Is she on something? Is she flaking out? She’s missed practice this week, calling after to apologize. We need to have a serious talk with her. ”
Stoney looks at the ground with his hands in his pockets. “I know man. I know.”
So to say that Chad wasn’t happy when he found out about the tour last weekend would be a serious understatement. I’ve paid for it all week. I’ve had to avoid the guys. He’s told me I’m not going and he’ll never let me go.
I’ve gotta go though or he’s gonna kill me if I stay here. He’s seriously strung out. It’s not like I can call the cops on him, he is a damn cop. He likes to remind me of that when he has me tied to something, roughing me up and fucking the hell out of me. When I told him about the tour, he hurt me so bad I could hardly walk for two days.
Today I have to throw my shit in a bag and leave. I’ve got to get to Stoney’s before he comes back home from his shift.
I’m in the shower. I’ve spent the last hour cramming everything I can into my car. I have to leave it at Stoney’s in the garage so I’ll have anything left when I come back. I look out of the curtain at the clock and it’s two, I’m supposed to meet the guys at three-thirty. Chad isn’t due home until four so I’m good on time.
As I walk into the bedroom with my robe on, the room shifts. I’m snatched by my hair and slammed into the wall.
“Where in the fuck do you think you are going?”
I try to stand firm. “Let me go, Chad.”
He presses me harder into the wall, running his hand up my robe. “No. I told you that you were not going off to follow those guys around like a bitch in heat. They don’t want you!” He slams my head against the wall. “You are stupid and fat, no one besides me will ever want you.” He throws me on the bed and starts unzipping his pants. I try to fight him off, I hit and kick at him. In turn, he slaps me and punches me. Finally, I get my hands on the bedside lamp. I grab it and smash him over the head with it and he falls off of me.
“You fucking bitch!”
I jump up and run out of the room, adjusting my robe that is still half hanging on. I have my keys in my hand in the kitchen when he comes staggering out the bedroom door.
“You are going to pay for this.”
I look over and see a gallon of cooking oil so I open it up and dump it all over the floor as fast as I can. “You’ll have to come get me mother fucker!” I take off running out the front door. I hear him cussing and falling all over the place but by the time he makes it to the door, I’m driving like a bat out of hell to Stoney’s.
I look down at the clock, praying they haven’t left me. I reach to grab my phone and realize it’s back at the house. Not going back to get it.
I see the guys glaring at me when I come flying into the driveway. Thinking he might be behind me, I scream for them to open the garage.
Once I’m in the garage, I step out of the car. “Give me a second guys to grab some clothes. I was in a hurry. I didn’t want you to leave me. I’m sorry.” I don’t even realize I’m crying until Stoney grabs my arm.
“Ivie. Stop. Look at me.”
Suddenly I realize why he wants to look at me. My face is starting to hurt, well throb is actually more like it. “No.” I keep looking down. “I’m fine, just let me go get dressed and I’ll be ready to go.” I dart past him and run to his bathroom, shutting the door.
I step in front of the mirror and I’m horrified at what I see. I guess my adrenalin was pumping so hard I didn’t feel exactly how many hits he got in. I didn’t bring my make-up or anything in here with me. I gently wash my face to get the dried blood off of it.
Looking down at my bruised and battered body, I realize that Chad was right. I’m fat, and looking at this face, no one will ever want me.
I dress and hear the guys arguing in the kitchen.
Keeg is yelling. “No, I’m going to kick his ass! He did that to her. He’s not going to get away with this.”
Stoney is trying to talk to him. “Keeg, man we have to calm down, he’s a cop. We have to play this smart.”
I step around the corner and the guys catch the first full on look at my face. Gable knocks a bunch of shit off the counter. I know he’s frustrated that, once again, I’ve brought my drama to the band.
I put my hands up. “Look guys, let’s just get out of here. I can explain all day long, but all you need to know is I got my fair share of licks in and he was hurting, too.” I didn’t say I got one good lick in with a lamp and he was hurting from falling trying to get to me.
Stoney knows me best. He walks in front of the guys. “Look. The sooner she gets to leave town, the farther she’ll be away from him. He’s a cop and he’ll get believed before a group of music delinquents will.”
I nod. “Stoney’s right, let’s go. I w
ant as much distance between me and this place as possible.”
We meet the tour bus picking us up over by Keeg’s mom’s house so he can leave his car there.
After the bus pulls off, I can tell they want answers. “Look guys, I’m going to take some ibuprofen and take a nap. We’ll talk after I get up. I just can’t do this right now.”
With that, I walk down the hall and crawl in the bunk I decide to claim. I pray for a long sleep, but once I lie down, the events of today and the past week catch up with me. I begin to softly sob into my pillow until I finally do doze off.
After Ivie walks down the hall and crawls in a bunk, we sit on the small couches. Keeg looks over at us. “What are we going to do? You see what he did to her, he deserves to die.”
Keeg has a big problem with men putting their hands violently on women. His mom took abuse for years that he had to watch.
Stoney looks across to me. “Man, you haven’t said much during all of this. What do you think? If this had happened to Scar, what would you do?”
I shake my head. “Man. Look, Ivie is a private person. She’s a rock. Scarlet depends on me, it’s totally different.” I say, trying to distance myself. Because when I saw her earlier, I was ready to go get that son of a bitch, drop him in a pen of hungry hogs, and let them devour him. I have a plan but I can’t get hot headed about it.
Stoney slams his fist down on the table. He whispers hard to me. “You hear her back there, don’t you? She’s crying. She’s hurting. Does that sound like someone who’s a rock to you?”
“Look man, all I’m saying is Ivie doesn’t want us to make a big deal out of this. She wants our support and she wants to move on. She wants to put as much distance between her and him as possible.” I shrug.
Keeg glares at me. “Whatever, Gable. I just think he deserves to pay.”