It Began in Te Rangi

by Gloria Bevan

  If only she’d realized what was happening she could have done something about it, but in her heart she knew that she had known all along, only she wouldn’t allow herself to admit the truth. Now she must endure the exquisite torment of being with Danger, preparing his meals, caring for his home, knowing all the time that it meant exactly nothing. A fool in love! A long-drawn sigh escaped her lips and her mouth curved in a sad little droop in the darkness. To think that once lightly, to even a score, she had actually thought to make him fall in love with her!

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  In the morning when Maggie took tea for morning smoko out to the men working in the drafting pens, Danger's curt ‘thanks a lot, Maggie’, as he took the steaming billy from her hands, was quite impersonal. Clearly in his book the scene on the moonlit verandah last night had been a trifling incident, already forgotten. As she made her way back to the homestead, Maggie paused beside the sheepdog kennels on the slope leading to the woolshed. Inevitably her glance strayed to the pens where a tall figure in a dark sweat shirt moved amongst the milling sheep. Lean, burned, curiously remote, what was it about him that stirred her so? She sighed and told herself that she should be thankful that to Danger his kiss had been a light and meaningless gesture. If only she could feel the same way!

  During the following few days he was involved with seasonal work on the station, so busy that she scarcely saw him, except at a late evening meal. Early in the morning, long before she was awake, he had saddled Red and left the house to ride over the vast grazing paddocks, picking out the fat lambs, sorting the hoggets that later would be ear-tagged with plastic tags.

  ‘Tell you what, kids,’ he said to the children on the last day of the week, ‘seeing that this is the last weekend of the toheroa season, I’ll give the boys a day off and we’ll go and collect some at the Gap. How about you, Maggie?’ As he swung around to face her, his sudden brilliant smile made her heart contract. ‘You could do with a spell away from the house. Come on now, admit that you’re fed up with kids and housework.’

  But not with you, Danger, never with you! The crazy words sprang to her lips, but she forced them back, murmuring instead: ‘I love it down on the beach.’

  ‘It’s a date then! Get your buckets ready, kids! Right now I’ve got to get cracking and finish ear-tagging the ewes!’

  He went whistling down the side of the house and Maggie, as she cleared away the dinner dishes, found herself looking forward to the outing tomorrow. On the vast immensity of the lonely shore, perhaps even her own heartache would seem dwarfed. Besides, Danger would be with them. A pang shot through her. And Ann, she reminded herself bleakly.

  Saturday however brought an urgent telephone message from the other girl. Maggie, answering the ring, caught the worried note in Ann’s direct tones. ‘Listen, Maggie, Danger’s not about, is he?’

  ‘No, but he’ll be back soon,’ she said.

  ‘Good. I’ve got a problem and he’s the only one I know who can help me! He’s so darn good about everything and just as knowledgeable as any vet. When it comes to trouble with the sheep. And boys, have I got trouble! Three Romneys down with some sickness I’ve never struck before, but Danger’ll know how to cope. Could you ask him to get in touch with me the minute he comes in?’

  Over a heavy heart Maggie promised that she would get her employer to ring back as soon as possible, even though she was certain that there would be no day spent on the beach tomorrow, not now.

  Of course she was right, she told herself that evening as she passed on the message to Danger. Striding to the telephone, he immediately put through a call to Ann and from the adjoining lounge room Maggie caught the deep tones. Yes, he too had struck that trouble, but not to worry, he’d be over in the morning and bring the stuff with him. As luck would have it, he had plenty of vaccine left after treating an attack suffered by some of his own Romneys, a year previously. He’d stay over there with Ann after giving the treatment, to see how things went.

  Maggie made an effort to crush down her sense of disappointment. It was absurd to feel this childish feeling of letdown over such a trifling matter as the cancellation of plans for a day spent at the beach, and yet—

  ‘Sorry about tomorrow, Maggie.’ Danger had entered the lounge room and came to stand at her side. ‘But this happens to be a priority job.’

  ‘It’s all right.’ At least, she thought forlornly, avoiding his gaze, he hadn’t forgotten about his promise.

  ‘Can’t we go?’ Philippa glanced up from the book she was reading and Maggie saw her own disappointment mirrored in the girl's drooping lips and anxious eyes. ‘But you said—’

  ‘Couldn’t I take the children?’ Maggie offered impulsively, aware that for once the younger girl had put aside her resentment and was looking hopefully towards Maggie.

  Danger eyed her with his bright, searching look. ‘It’s an idea! Reckon you could handle the beach buggy?’

  ‘Why not?’ She smiled up into his lean tanned face. That was one of the disadvantages of being so small. No one, and especially Danger, ever believed you were capable of doing anything. ‘It’ll be a good chance,’ she added, trying to infuse a note of enthusiasm into her voice, ‘to get some more toheroas.’

  ‘Last chance,’ he put in.

  Only it won’t be the same without you. With a sigh the wrenched her thoughts back to the present.

  ‘Tide’s dead low at three in the afternoon,’ Danger was saying. ‘All you have to do is to be sure to take the buggy down on the wet sand, and for pete’s sake, steer well clear of those freshwater streams. They’re dynamite! I don’t know how many cars we’ve had to pull out of there, stuck in the sand. Some of them had had it before we could get there with the Land-Rover—Hey, I nearly forgot—’ All at once his voice changed to a cool and distant note. ‘Young Tony sent you a message. Said he’d be coming over here tomorrow night to see you.’ She was aware that he was watching her narrowly. What did he expect her to do? she wondered crossly. Appear overcome with excitement? Blush? ‘He wants you to ring him back.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Apparently it was quite in order for him to be as friendly as he pleased with Ann, but Maggie Sullivan wasn’t to show the slightest interest in Ann’s brother. She’d half a mind to show him ... at least she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of guessing her feelings. ‘I’ll put a call through to him later.’ Her tone was carefully noncommittal.

  In the morning, however, all thoughts of Tony fled from her mind as she attempted to fill the cookie tins with home baking and produce a large fruit cake which even if slightly sunk in the centre was an answer to country-sharpened appetites of both menfolk and children.

  The work was hampered by Mark who, under the mistaken impression that he was helping, cheerfully rolled out biscuit dough Maggie had given him until it was an unappetizing shade of grey, managing at the same time to plaster both himself and the lino floor tiles with fragments of the mixture. Cleaning up the mess, Maggie reflected ruefully that being so busy kept her from dwelling on Danger—or did it? The truth was that she seemed only fully alive when he was close at hand, within sight and sound. The planned excursion today was simply a chore, part of her duties here, whereas had he been with her ... Oh, what was the use? In misery and frustration she banged the cutter furiously down on the sheet of rolled dough.

  She had just thrust the tray in the oven of the electric range when she glanced through the window to see Danger backing the beach buggy out of the shed. A little later he was showing her how to work the gears. ‘It’s simple, actually. Low here, this is top, down for second, over this away for rear. Nothing to it! You can’t hurt the old bus no matter what you do. If you want the brake—’ He stopped short with a sideways glance. ‘You’re not listening!’

  ‘I am! I am!’ Maggie protested hastily, in an agony of apprehension that he might have caught her bemused glance fixed on his tanned profile. Her mind had been on him rather than on driving, and she had been neatly caught out. If at this moment he asked
her to take the wheel she couldn’t! She just couldn’t! She hadn’t heard a word of what he’d been telling her.

  ‘You take over now and give it a go!’ To her horror he swung wide the heavy old door and leaping to the ground, stood watching. No doubt, she thought in confusion, he was just waiting to criticize her. Wildly she took a chance on the gears and pressing a foot to the accelerator, shot off with a wild lurch that made him leap swiftly to one side. Where in heaven’s name was the next gear? she wondered in panic. Luck was with her, however, and after that it was easy. 'She moved a short distance along the driveway, to stop with a jerk.

  Danger came running up to her. ‘You’ll do! Just take it easy on the steep grade up to the cliff. Put her into low if you feel like it. She’s got loads of power. You’ll be right,’ he said unfeelingly, and turned to pick up his wide-brimmed straw sunhat from the grass. ‘I’d better get over to Ann’s place and see to those Romneys, She’ll be wanting toheroa fritters for tea. Right?’

  ‘Don’t bet on it,’ Maggie said, leaping lightly down from the high, tattered seat. ‘The cook doesn’t usually have to go hunting for food. She just has to cook it.’

  ‘Ah-ha,’ Danger said smugly, ‘but this cook happens to be someone rather special. Picked her myself!’

  With a teasing grin, he swung on his heel and strode away, leaving Maggie staring after him, a prey to conflicting emotions. He’d picked her! Why, she was the last person he would have chosen to have in his employ! He’d made no secret of that! The words of the Maori melody he was whistling caught at her heart with a pain she could scarcely bear.

  When I look at you

  You turn your face away

  But in your heart, dear,

  I know you love me.

  I know you love me. If only, if only it were the truth!

  A little later, however, she had to admit to a sense of satisfaction as she drove the beach buggy along roads that were still more or less unfamiliar. The two older children, riotously happy, were in the back seat and Mark was at her side. When the barge had ferried them over the river to the main road on the other side, Maggie found that many motorists had taken this last opportunity of the year to seek the shellfish from the sands of the northern beaches. Ahead, the stream of traffic comprised trucks, jeeps, Land-Rovers and Trekkas, interspersed with cars, clean and shining and obviously coming from towns and cities in other parts of the country.

  When they reached the steep rough track between the flax-covered hills, Maggie could see no crowd on the grassy clifftop and a swift glance towards the beach cottage showed her that the door was closed. Today she did not swing up towards the cliff but continued along the rough, boulder-strewn track as she joined in a stream of vehicles moving toward the misty, violet-blue of the ocean below.

  Presently the road petered out in a track between the sandhills and mindful of Danger’s warning, Maggie guided the beach buggy along the damp surface, taking care to avoid the trickle of water from fresh water streams coming from the' hills that had proved so treacherous to strangers, unfamiliar with the long coastline, Vehicles, dwarfed to tiny proportions by the limitless shoreline, were dotted along the misty expanse of the beach. Maggie could discern groups of toheroa-seekers bent low as they thrust; hands deep into the wet sand in search of the shellfish, Plastic buckets made, gay splashes of red and blue and saffron on the long stretch of sand, and high rugged cliffs, of yellow sandstone rose sheer above the sandhills.

  Moving a few miles along the coastline, at last she reached the area where she had stopped with Danger on the previous excursion to the beach, Maggie braked and the children tumbled wildly put of the car. Nearby a group of Maori men and women were collecting white-shelled toheroas in swift succession. It was a good omen, Maggie thought, knowing the inborn skill of a race whose ancestors had depended for their staple food on the bounty they could wrest from bush and sea. Maggie, however, was not so lucky, A tiny bubble in the sand led her to dig oh the spot, but the toheroas she found there were so small that she threw them back in the water-filled depression, where they immediately burrowed out of sight. The children were more fortunate, and offered to find enough shellfish for Maggie to make up her quota, but she was determined to dig the elusive toheroas for herself, At last as she thrust her hand deep in a fresh patch of shining wet sand, she withdrew a large, white shell, then another, and another. Engrossed in her task of placing the last shellfish in her scarlet plastic bucket, she did not look up as a car moved slowly along the sand nearby.

  ‘Maggie!’ A man’s shout made her glance upwards. Crouched on the wet sand, she pushed aside the long black hair blowing across her face in the salt-laden breeze, and almost lost her balance as she found herself looking up into Colin’s round, smiling face. He was wearing dark sunglasses, but otherwise he looked just the same. Only why didn’t she feel excited about seeing him again? It was an effort to infuse a note of warmth into her tones.

  ‘Where did you come from?’ she asked in amazement.

  ‘That’s what I’m asking you!’ He leaped from a late-model burnished maroon-coloured car and hurried towards her. ‘I just couldn’t believe it was you! If you only knew the trouble I’ve gone to, asking everyone in Hamilton where you were, trying to find out what had happened to you, where you’d got to—’

  ‘Me?’ Maggie said dazedly, brushing a sandy hand across her eyes. This was a different Colin from the one she remembered. He was animated, excited, with a look in his eyes she hadn’t seen since, since...

  ‘Let’s get away from this mob,’ he suggested eagerly, ‘and I’ll tell you all about it. Gee, if you only knew—’ He broke off, his gaze running over her, tanned and attractive in mimosa-coloured shorts, yellow silk shirt whipped around her slim figure in the breeze, tanned bare feet. ‘I guess it’s my lucky day!’ he cried jubilantly. ‘Come on, Maggie,’ he caught her hand, ‘let’s go! We’ll take a stroll along the beach.’ His glance went to the children who were regarding him with frankly curious eyes. ‘It’s a darn sight too crowded around here for my taste.’

  Maggie hesitated. ‘But your toheroas. You haven’t—’

  ‘Damn the toheroas! It’s you I want to see! Don’t you understand, Maggie? It’s always been you, only,’ his voice dropped to a low, unsteady note, ‘I was too much of a fool to know it.’

  She snatched her fingers from his eager grasp and inclined her head meaningfully towards the children. ‘We’ll have to take them along with us.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ Colin’s full florid face wore an expression of bewilderment. ‘Can’t you see I’m doing my darnedest to get rid of them?’

  ‘But we can’t,’ Maggie protested. ‘I mean, I can’t! I’m looking after them, or supposed to be.’

  ‘What!’ He stared at her, his eyes behind the dark sun glasses incredulous. Really, Maggie found herself thinking irrelevantly, he was a round sort of person, round eyes, full face, and there was no doubt that he had gained quite a lot of weight during the years he’d been away in Australia. Incredible to think that once, a hundred light years away, she had imagined herself to be in love with this short pompous man with his astonished stare.

  At his aghast expression she couldn’t help bursting into laughter. ‘It’s simple really,’ she explained, ‘just that I took a job up-country. I thought it would be a change from office work.’

  ‘You?’ His amazed look was scarcely complimentary to her capabilities, she thought.

  ‘I don’t see what’s so earth-shattering about it,’ she said, nettled. ‘I’ve always loved the country and I can cook—’ She stopped short, belatedly remembering the quickly prepared pre-cooked dishes she had produced at the flat on the occasions when Colin had dined there with her and Andrea. ‘When I want to,’ she added.

  ‘But where is this place where you’re working? Who with? What’s the woman’s name?’

  She waved a hand vaguely in the direction of the surrounding hills. ‘A sheep station ... up there.’ Somehow she was reluctant to acquain
t Colin with the fact that there was no other woman at Amberley station. She told herself that the situation was so complicated she couldn’t be bothered explaining it all, but in her heart she knew that she wouldn’t have Danger discussed by Colin, especially in his obviously emotional state of mind. Why was he searching for her? Could it be that his and Andrea’s marriage hadn’t worked out?

  She called to the children. ‘Put the buckets in the beach buggy. We’re going for a walk along the beach!’ And when they came running back to her: ‘Colin, this is Ian, and that’s Philippa—and Mark.’

  Shyly the three acknowledged the introduction, then the next minute they were capering far ahead of Maggie and Colin, chasing one another along the gleaming sand, pausing at the edge of the breakers to pick up strings of beaded wet seaweed and examine a starfish stranded by the outgoing tide.

  As she strolled along beside the water, Maggie was struck by a thought. She turned an anxious face towards Colin. ‘Andrea—’ His face had taken on a closed expression and she felt a prick of apprehension. ‘I never heard from her again after the—the wedding. She’s—all right ... isn’t she?’