“Right.” Callum turned and paced a line in front of a wall of shelves filled with knickknacks, books, and pictures. “Hey Jilly, I know the sight of us causes you severe pain and heartache, but the girls really need you. So stow it and continue showing up.”
“For a smart son of a bitch, you really are dense sometimes.” Cord smacked his cup onto the table with a thud. “I taught you how to hack like a pro in a month. You led a goddamned SEAL team through the Afghan mountains and captured Alab Sharik. Put something with boobs in front of you and game over.”
“Keep talking and we’ll take this conversation to the yard,” Callum growled. He had a feeling he knew where this conversation was headed, and it spiked and bottomed out his heart rate in near equal measure.
“Think about it.” Cord tore into the bag, extricated a round, sugar-covered, fried piece of dough, and popped it into his mouth. He held up another and waggled it at Callum with a questioning brow.
“For the thousandth time, no.”
“More for me.” His friend shoved another heart stopper down the hatch with a smile. “Right after the accident, she hung around a lot.”
Callum pinched his forehead. She’d done more than hang around. Jillian had taken care of his girls and the arrangements until he’d gotten back from what would be his last mission with DEVGRU. Even after he’d been back, she’d cared for them all, like she belonged…there…with them.
His jaw hinged wide.
“Now, you’re starting to think.” Cord used a donut hole to gesture at his head before he tossed it back. “Things were getting…”
“Comfortable,” Callum supplied.
“She was getting comfortable with her best friend’s family. Not a great place to be when the people you love will never be your own.”
Cord’s words hit him like a herd of Spanish bulls. Each nuance bruised and gored a new inch of skin.
“That’s why she moved to Abu Dhabi.” The words burned their way up his throat.
“I thought you didn’t know where the hell she was. That’s why you were steaming.” Cord crumpled the empty bag and swooshed it into the basket of remote controls on the coffee table. “What’d you do?”
“You know what I did.” Callum shoved off the couch and stormed to the window. Outside, everything looked as it had for the last four years. His wife died, and the birds still chirped. Jillian ran away, and the sun still rose.
“She’s the kind of girl who’ll lop off your manhood for hacking her personal information.”
“What do you think Titan will do?”
“No way.”
Callum rested his forearms against the frame and stared at the matching pink and blue bikes he’d told the girls to put away before they went to the Stronghold Estate to spend the day with their Aunt Milly. The woman wasn't blood, but she’d been a nanny to Cord and all his crazy siblings. Ashlyn and Aria loved her, and Milly had saved his hide on more than one occasion.
“No fucking way.” Cord sprang from the couch and cleared the room in hungry strides. “How did you do it? I’ve tried, for shits and giggles, and failed every time.”
“It was…”
The front of a blacked out SUV almost kissed the pavement, skidding to a stop in front of the house. Callum’s hand flew to his sidearm, and he stepped to the edge of the window.
“Boobs are not going to be the death of me.” Cord retreated to the door and pulled his own pistol.
“Donuts are.” Callum strained to see through the thick tint. Nothing.
“Real funny, Dick. Maybe you should’ve thought more and hacked less. I swear, I teach you right from wrong, but it slipped right through your dense skull.”
“One door.” He expected every door and hatch to ooze combatants. Only the driver’s door opened and slammed closed.
“This guy is about to have a really bad day.” Cord chuckled.
Dark hair with gray sideburns peeked over the top of the vehicle. Vail Tucker’s boots pounded across the lawn, catching the walkway halfway to the door.
“Yes, I am.” Callum holstered his weapon and nodded at Cord, who opened the door in time for the Base Branch Director to stomp across the threshold.
Premature gray clashed with the man’s brawn and the usual agility and grace with which he moved. Today, authority and attitude kept in check by years of experience in war zones and special operations roiled at the surface. It bubbled and popped in his eyes, and the beat of his pulse that thundered at the base of his thick neck.
“I can appreciate you sacrificing the danger—leaving a job you love—to ensure the best you can that your girls won’t be alone in this world.” Tucker braced his hands on his hips and pinched. “With a baby of my own on the way and a stepdaughter who means the world to me, I understand it a hell of a lot. What I can’t comprehend is risking your life for a broad.”
“She’s no broad.” His cool-under-fire exterior cracked. Callum’s chest rumbled with vehemence.
“Who is she then?” Tucker demanded.
Christ, he was trying to figure that shit out himself. Callum thought he knew, but now… “She’s complicated.”
“It’d better get uncomplicated A-the fuck-S-A-P. You hacked Titan, which means you hacked me. Do you know what happened to the last guy to turn traitor? I visit him once a year on the anniversary to make sure he’s fed enough, not too hot or cold, and is provided enough medical treatment to live.” Tucker nodded. “I make sure aspect is optimum for him to live every day in misery. Next time I visit, I’ll bring you with me.”
“I only skimmed personal documents until I found what I needed.” Callum hated the excuse coming out of his mouth, but he hadn’t breached their security with malice.
“How would you feel if someone hacked our system and skimmed our personal documents with your address, where your girls live?” Tucker’s accusing finger swung to Cord. “What about your known relatives and associates? You have quite a few.”
“That’s enough.” Callum took a step toward the director.
“What did you mean by you hacked Titan, you hacked me?” Cord ignored Tucker’s jibes and Callum’s outburst and worked the situation like his half-soldier, half-hacker mind always did.
“I mean before Jared Westin was known as boss man, I knew him as a comrade. His blood is my blood. His goals are my goals. His men are my men. I protect them as such.” Tucker sucked up the distance between them. “Does it make your blood stir? Does it make you want to squeeze the life out of whoever breached your security, security never before breached?” Tucker’s eyes darkened.
Hell, yes. He hadn’t thought about it from any other perspective before he acted, which was so out of character for him. Why the fuck had he done it?
“I needed to know she was okay.” He rubbed a hand over his face and drew his first full breath since learning Jillian worked for Titan on the other side of the world.
“You’re going to get the chance to see for yourself. You’re wheels up in thirty.” Tucker pushed an index finger into the center of his chest. Callum held his ground. With the words attached to that finger, it proved tricky.
“To Abu Dhabi? To Titan?” Cord’s arms shot wide in a WTF.
Tucker kept his eyes trained on Callum. “It’s time to stop tiptoeing around this shit called life. Your girls don’t just need you to be alive. They need you to live. Titan cut their main line because of you. The least you can do is go show them how you got in so they can close and bar the door.”
“I have to see that.” Cord rocked on his heels and chewed on his knuckle.
“No.” Tucker didn’t think or blink.
“But I taught Cal the tricks he used to get there. The least you can do is—”
“No.” The director finally broke his gaze and turned on Cord. “Parker Black doesn't want you within a thousand miles of his equipment. After we figure out what this genius did, you have to make sure no one can do it on our system. Plus, if you’re the all-powerful teacher, Strong, why didn’t you t
each this numbnuts who not to hack?” Tucker didn’t wait for an answer, only pinned Callum with the no-nonsense gaze. “Get ready. I’m driving.”
His thoughts immediately flew to Jilly and then the girls. “Have Milly watch the—”
“They’ll be fine.” Cord waved him off. “Go. Don’t be stupid.”
5
“That’s good, Rocco.” Jillian smacked the edge of her fist on the extended cab’s roof just in case. She blew a dirt-caked flyaway from her eye.
The tailgate stopped centimeters from the concrete loading dock at the hotel’s secure basement entrance. Roc, Cash, Winters, and Roman poured from the vehicle. Delta hung back, checking the perimeter of a CIA on steroids level secured facility. The team stood at the dock with itchy fingers and dancing toes. Just like that, she realized they awaited her instructions.
Pride lifted her from the sorrow plaguing her since the uproar with Callum’s security breach. As nice and equally dude-ish as they were with her, she’d never be part of their team. She didn’t save the world like they did. She dismantled bombs. Maybe one day, she could have a team of her own—an elite EOD squad that she trained and ran.
“Okay gentlemen, this is the most important piece of luggage you’ll ever carry. One bump and we’re dust, along with about two point five million people. Forget your kids, lovers, and loved ones for the next ten minutes. They don’t exist. This warhead is your world. Treat it as such.”
Finding the thing packed and ready for transport saved them time on their exit, but it also meant the nuclear material was exposed to the heat longer. She assigned each man a corner and waited for him to reach his position.
“On my three. One. Two. Three.” Jillian orchestrated the lift with both dirt-laced hands and then gestured at the building. “We have to get it to the cooler without dropping it. If you need to rotate out, holler.” They scoffed. “Do not let your egos get us vaporized. If the shit gets heavy, say so.”
A round of hooahs, oorahs, and hooyahs echoed off the concrete and steel. The men followed her methodical march down the corridor, through the security doors, and into a cooler large enough to fit a tank. Sweat dripped from their brows and noses. Their muscles held steady.
“Center the foam and lower slowly on my three. One. Two. Three.” When the hunk of metal and extremely hazardous material met the platform without incident, Jillian sighed.
The men erupted into silent celebration. Good. They respected the monster, as they should.
“Okay, Cooper.” Winters pointed at the warhead. “Do your thing.”
“It has to cool for at least two hours before I can safely dismantle it.” She shrugged. “And that’s only if we get this door closed right now.”
“Everybody out.” Winters called out to the team, but everyone had already made his way out of the cooler and away from the warhead. A few feet wouldn’t save them. They followed and locked down the basement.
“I’m not going to lie. I won’t breathe right until you work your magic on that thing,” Cash announced.
“Me either,” Jared barked in their earpieces. “Get cleaned up. Debrief in the war room in one hour.”
A string of yes sirs littered the air. Everyone hit the elevators. She peeled off from the group on the floor below the main team. Just another way of saying she wasn’t permanent. Alone in the corridor, Jillian felt her skin prickle. Titan was bringing in Callum to walk Parker through the breach and try to scare him into never doing it again. She didn’t know whether he’d come and gone, was still here, or hadn’t yet reached Abu Dhabi. Not knowing if it would hurt her more to see him while he was here amped her nerves. The eerily quiet corridor didn’t help, either. Of course, it was almost four a.m., and any sane person would be curled up in bed.
Jillian unlocked her door while banking a yawn. No time for sleep but a shower…oh, yes. She used her body weight to heave the thing open and dropped her ruck of EOD tools just inside the door.
A hand wrapped around her extended wrist and yanked her inside the room. Already off balance, she stumbled into the danger zone. Her right hand reached for her sidearm. Unyielding muscle blocked her elbow, limiting her mobility. The slamming door echoed loudly in her brain. Closed in with the enemy.
Panic kicked its feet on the dash and reclined in the passenger seat. Training steered while skill shifted and rage stomped on the gas pedal. Jillian tucked and rolled, wrenching her hand out of the grip. That had been the goal, anyway. But she looked at the hand. The tattoo wrapping its way up the heavily veined arm had taken top billing in more than one of her dreams.
“Callum?”
His other hand bit into her shoulder, and he spun her to face him. Alarm bells and wailing sirens sang between her ears. Run. Run away now.
"Never enter a room with such inattention.” Callum pulled her to his chest so hard she should have bounced off and fallen to the floor. One thick arm around her back held her close.
The audacity of his actions bolstered her outrage. “The hotel is safe or didn’t your hacking show you the amount of security in place here?”
Callum’s rough palm scraped its way up her waist. Jillian’s heart stuttered. This was a dream. She had to have fallen asleep on the ride to base because this couldn’t be real. Real or not, his fingers entwined in her hair and yanked her gaze to his. Middle of the desert at midnight eyes stared back as they had a thousand times before, but something inside them shifted, ignited. Her chest ceased all function.
He lowered his forehead. All the sand and filth from her body jumped inside Jillian’s gaping mouth. Speaking and swallowing were no longer options. His forehead pressed against hers.
“Safety is an illusion, Jillian. You should know that.”
She knew it, which was why she'd put distance between them. With him this close, she couldn’t afford to think about anything other than the reason he was here. Jillian drew on her anger.
“I knew you were behind the breach, even before they knew who’d done it. Are you trying to get me fired?”
“If you'd only answered my calls.”
“You’re not responsible for me, Callum. I don't have to answer your calls or answer to you.” God, she was such a bitch. If she made him angry enough, maybe he’d leave her to wallow in her own misery.
“No.” His thumb pressed against the point of her chin, holding her captive. “You don’t have to answer to me, but I needed to know you were okay. Whether you like it or not, you are mine to protect.”
His concern pierced deeper than his anger. Jillian closed her eyes, willing away tears that sprang to the surface. If only she were his, but he belonged to another, to someone she loved more than she loved herself.
Hot, soft lips pressed against hers. His dark, masculine scent shot up her nose like an illicit drug. A moan seeped between her clamped jaw. Tears streamed across her cheeks. It wasn’t a dream because her dreams satisfied her hunger, made her tingle, and freed her. This taunted, hurt, and imprisoned her.
“No.” Jillian planted both hands on his chest. A majestic landscape of plateaued muscles snuggled under a well-fitting T-shirt mocked her. She shoved hard.
Callum released her face and widened the gap between them but didn’t let her go. His eyes narrowed. The one-inch scar below his left eye wrinkled with his concern. “Do you blame me for not protecting her? For not being there when it happened?”
“No.” None of this made sense. She didn’t blame him for anything…except being too hot and caring, hard-assed, and amazing at everything.
“If I could have traded places with her, I would have. I was the one with the dangerous job. I was the one we preplanned a funeral for.”
“I know,” she whispered.
“Do you? Every day, I see the hurt on my children's faces. It kills me. Then they lose you too.”
Anger exploded behind her eyes, leaving her momentarily blinded. Jillian closed the gap and pointed a sharp finger at his sternum.
“They haven't lost me. I video chat with them
nearly every day. I’ve never forgotten a birthday, Valentine’s Day, Memorial Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Christmas in their entire lives. I’m not about to start.”
Three solid raps on the door caught her off guard. “Jillian?” Roman called from the other side of the door.
“Fine.” Callum pulled her close again. One hand circled her waist while the other sank into her shoulder. “I lost you, and it pisses me off.”
Jillian swallowed so hard she nearly choked on her tongue.
Callum’s jaw flexed. His gaze remained locked on hers. “And now you’re trying to get yourself killed.”
“It should've been me.” Tears, unwelcome and stored up for too long, streamed down her cheeks.
“What?” he growled so forcefully, the reverberations careened through his fingertips, pierced her tactical clothing, and radiated through her.
“I didn't have kids. I didn't have a husband. Hell, no relationships to speak of except for your family. Amery’s family.” The fissures of Jillian’s heart cracked wide again.
“The three of us made our own family because our blood abandoned us. It didn’t belong to one of us any more than it did the other.” His hold became more of a hug. It hurt and healed in almost equal measure.
Almost.
“She was the linchpin, the heart that held everything together.” Jillian slapped at her tears. Another knock sounded at the door, but it seemed so far away. “Come on, don't tell me you never wondered why it couldn't have been me. Then your family would still be together.”
“No!” His bellow filled the room.
“You should.”
“No!” His head shook so hard it might break a vertebra.
“Yes.” Jillian planted her hand to push him away again.
Callum barred her forearms to his torso. His other hand clamped the back of her neck and yanked her in. His mouth landed on hers with barely hinged force. His lips and tongue slid over her mouth, demanding her participation.
Her brain yelled, ‘Stop.’ Her body said, ‘Shut the fuck up.’ The two sides played tug-of-war with her heart.
Never Mine: A Base Branch Novella (Titan World) Page 4