What the fuck do I do now?
Chapter Twenty
Nora
“Ready for our date?” Killian pulls my attention from my laptop in front of me to where he is leaning casually in the doorway of the bus.
“What?” I question, confused by his sudden presence.
I thought the guys had a band thing scheduled and I had decided to hang on the bus and work on my article, which is coming along much slower than I would like, given how distracted I have let myself become.
“Our date.” He smiles wider. “Are you ready?”
“Now?” I gape at him, looking down at my navy tank and denim shorts. “I can't go now.” I gesture to my attire.
“Relax. You're perfect. Besides, where we are going, there won't be a soul who cares what you look like.” His smile only widens.
“And where is that exactly?” I close my laptop and hit him with curious eyes.
“You'll have to come with me if you want to find out.” He slowly starts backing out of the bus.
“Killian.” I call after him as he disappears outside.
“Come on Nora.” I hear him yell through the door.
Letting out a loud sigh, I peel myself off of the couch and quickly head back towards my bunk, tossing my laptop onto my bed before grabbing my purse and phone. I take a quick glance in the bathroom mirror, deciding there is not much time for anything more than the side braid my hair is currently tied off in.
I exit the bus moments later to find Killian leaning casually against a large red pickup truck, his arms crossed in front of his chest, a wide smile across his handsome face.
“What the...” I start to question, but he immediately interrupts me.
“I rented it.” He laughs at the shock on my face. “Come on.” He crosses to the passenger side and peels open the door, waiting for me to climb inside before closing it behind me.
“What are you up to?” I ask, the moment he climbs into the driver’s seat next to me.
“You'll see.” He winks, firing the engine of the truck to life.
Latching my seat belt, I suddenly feel like a kid on Christmas morning. I can't wait to rush downstairs and find out exactly what Santa has brought me. Only in this case, it's a summer evening in July and Killian is acting as the jolly gift giver.
I roll my window down and watch the countryside of Tennessee pass us by. Killian doesn't say much and we both seem perfectly comfortable relaxing into a peaceful silence. I have to admit, I have always wanted to visit this state. I was hoping to get a little time to explore given that the guys have four days off after their show in Knoxville tomorrow night. To get to see it now, with Killian by my side, is more than I could have ever hoped for.
I wish I could fight the way Killian makes me feel, but I can't. I can't stop the flood of emotions that run through me every time he is near. The way my skin tingles when he touches me. The way my face heats when he meets my gaze. The way my insides clench when he gives me one of those sexy smiles.
I knew the first time I met Killian that he had the power to severely test my will power, I just never expected to watch it unravel entirely.
We travel for what feels like forever before Killian finally pulls off onto a one lane narrow road. The thin strip of pavement twists and turns past water and trees which seem to go on forever. After several more minutes, Killian slows the truck and turns onto a small dirt path.
“Killian, where are we?” I question.
“You'll see.” He winks in my direction, clearly enjoying dragging this out.
“Do you even know where you are going?” I ask.
“Of course I do.” He laughs. “Just a couple more minutes.” He reaches over and squeezes my hand, letting his fingers linger against mine for several seconds before placing his hand back on the steering wheel.
The dirt road eventually comes to a dead end and Killian slows to a stop. Sitting directly in front of us is a large pond with a small fishing boat floating next to a short narrow wooden dock to the right.
Killian throws the truck in park and kills the engine. The only sounds around us are the birds chirping, the water lapping under the boat, and the rapid beating of my own heart as it pounds loudly in my chest.
“Come on.” Killian pushes open the driver’s side door and slides out. Quickly exiting the truck, I cross around the back to where he is standing with the tailgate pulled down.
“Killian...” My hand immediately goes to my mouth when the reality of what he has done starts to sink in.
“You said you wanted a country song.” He turns towards me, his hands settling on either side of my face. “I call this one, somewhere past the cornfield.” He laughs lightly.
“That's a horrible title.” I laugh, not able to break away from his heated gaze.
“But this is anything but horrible.” He says, slowly lowering his face.
His lips brush mine gently before he pulls away, leaving me momentarily in a trance, unable to shake myself out of the dream I suddenly feel like I am in. Lowering his hands from my face, he gives me a knowing smile before turning back to the contents in the bed of the truck.
“First order of business.” He says, pulling out two fishing rods and leaning them against the tailgate. “Fishing and beer.” He smiles, next pulling out a small cooler.
“Killian, I...”
“You don't need to say anything Nora.” He kisses my forehead before sliding a fishing pole into my hand. “Come on, we don't have that much daylight left.” He says, handing me the small tackle box before grabbing the cooler and another fishing pole.
Closing the gate of the truck, he leads me down a small dirt path through the trees that open up to the dock where the small fishing boat sits. Helping me into the boat first, he hands me down the cooler and poles before very carefully stepping into the boat.
The small vessel rocks from side to side and I find myself gripping the edge of the dock, suddenly terrified that the boat is going to flip.
“Relax.” Killian lets out a light laugh. “Have you never been on a fishing boat before?”
“Never.” I admit, watching Killian untie the boat from the dock before positioning the oars in the water.
“Have you at least been fishing before?” He asks, gasping when I shake my head no.
“I told you.” I laugh. “I've always lived in a city. Believe it or not, city girls don't fish.”
“That is just wrong on so many levels.” He shakes his head in mock disappointment as he rows us further out into the water.
Finally reaching a stopping point, he drops the oars and pulls the tackle box towards him. Tying off a bright yellow lure to the end of my pole, he hands it to me before grabbing his own pole and repeating the process.
After showing me not once, but four times, how to cast my line, I finally manage to get my hook into the water. Turning my head towards Killian, I can't help the stupid grin that is displayed across my face.
“What?” He laughs, giving me his sweet confused smile.
“Thank you for this.” I say. “I can't remember a time when someone has done something like this for me.”
“I had you pegged for a woman that had men doing all sorts of crazy things to impress you.” He teases, handing me a beer before opening one for himself.
“Not even.” I laugh, letting out a loud yelp when my pole jerks and I realize something is on my line.
“Killian!” I exclaim, starting to stand in my excitement. The boat tips drastically to one side and I immediately slide back down, looking to Killian who laughs loudly.
Taking my beer, Killian instructs me step by step, managing to help me reel in my catch without any more near boat tipping incidents. When I finally pull a small fish out of the water, I can't help but squeal in excitement and then immediately panic that I am going to kill the fish.
“Killian get him off.” My voice shoots up an octave. “Get him off. He's going to die.” I nearly hit Killian in the face with the fish flopping at the en
d of my pole in my attempt to shake the fish free.
“Nora stop.” Killian laughs, setting down our beers and grabbing the fish, removing the hook through its lip. When the fish is finally free, he tosses it back into the water, the little fish swimming away instantly.
I feel the blood rush to my face and I quickly realize how stupid I must have just seemed. Killian looks at me for a long moment and then we both erupt into laughter. “Oh my God. I'm so sorry.” I manage to get out through my giggles.
“I can't say I have ever witnessed someone so distraught over the thought that a fish might die.” He shakes his head playfully. “You want to do it again?” His smile widens.
“Absolutely.” I answer without hesitation.
I manage to catch three more fish in the hour Killian and I spend out on the boat, while he doesn't even get a bite. By the time he rows us to shore, the sun has almost completely set and the sky has turned a dark orange color as night falls.
Killian leads us back to the truck, dropping the poles and cooler on the ground before lowering the tailgate and hoping into the back.
“What are you doing?” I look up to where he is standing. He flips on a battery operated lantern and sets it off to the side before turning his attention to me.
“We're not done yet.” He smiles, stepping to the edge of the tailgate and holding his hands out to me. Placing my foot on the back step, I lift my hands and allow him to pull me into the bed of the truck.
The moment I am standing directly in front of him, he pulls my body flush against his. The action causing my breath to hitch and a hard lump to form at the base of my throat. Even after two beers, which normally would do me in, I still feel every ounce of effect this man has on my body.
Leaning in, he lowers his mouth just inches from mine, his eyes holding my gaze. “Dance with me.” A small smile pulls up his lips.
“But there's no music.” I laugh, draping my arms around the back of his neck.
Reaching into his pocket, his smile spreads as a slow country tune suddenly fills the silent night around us.
“How did you?” I start, but then he pulls a small remote out of his pocket and waves it in front of my face.
“This thing has a radio that you can turn on without even starting the truck.” He seems genuinely impressed by this fact. “How cool is that?”
“Very cool.” I laugh.
“I don't like your negative tone.” He teases, dropping the remote back into the pocket of his shorts.
“Negative? Me? Never.” I shake my head playfully, gasping slightly when his arms close down around me and pull me tighter against his muscular frame.
Laying my head against Killian's chest, I allow him to slowly lead me across the bed of the truck. Neither one of us speaks, we simply exist. Wrapped in each other, lost in this moment. I cannot imagine anywhere else I would rather be now than right here.
I know how much effort Killian must have put into this; finding the location, renting the truck, buying all the fishing equipment and even downloading a country playlist with his limited knowledge of country music. The entire thing is incredible, just like the man himself.
When the song switches to one I know; “Speakers” by Sam Hunt, I really do feel like I am in a country song. Embraced in the arms of a man who makes me feel things I have never felt before, the night sky above us, the radio blasting from the truck speakers, nothing could make this moment more perfect.
I am no longer Nora Brandt, the uptight, list making, rule following, journalist. Out here, I am simply a girl. A girl who is finally realizing exactly how it feels to truly let herself go for the first time. Tilting my head back, the moment Killian's warm eyes connect with mine, I know.
This is what I want...
He is who I want...
And after tonight, life will never be the same again.
Chapter Twenty-One
Nora
“Tell me something I don't know about you. Something real. Something you wouldn't share with just anyone.” I prop up on my elbow, trading in my view of the night sky for the gorgeous man next to me.
Killian rolls on his side to face me and hits me with hesitant eyes, his hand reaching out to tuck a stray hair behind my ear. “Always the journalist.” He teases.
“I'm not asking as a journalist.” I pull his hand away from my face and lay a gentle kiss to his palm. “Tell me where you come from.”
“Ireland.” He cracks a weak smile.
“Not where but where.” I put emphasis on the word. “Tell me about your parents.”
I don't know why I want to know so badly. Maybe because I am desperate to know everything about him or maybe it's because him opening up to me will be my confirmation that he feels the same way I do. Because right now, I feel like there's nothing I wouldn't share with him. I would gladly bare my soul right here and now and not think twice about it.
“I never met my dad.” The moment he starts speaking, my heart starts hammering against my ribcage, beating so loudly I swear there is no way he can't hear it.
“My mom never talked about him much.” He continues. Rolling onto his back, he keeps his eyes fixed on the stars hanging in the sky above us.
“We didn't have a lot of family around. I had my friends at school and mom had her handful of close friends but for the most part, it was just us. Alice was her only living immediate family and after she met Ron while studying a semester in the states, she moved here, so we only saw her once every couple of years. I had a pretty standard childhood. Nothing of any real significance ever happened in the small town we lived in.” He falls quiet and I know that he is preparing himself for what he is about to say next.
“It's okay.” I say, reaching out and placing my hand on his cheek, gently turning his face towards me. “You don't have to tell me anymore.” I give him a soft smile, suddenly feeling very guilty for pushing this so hard, especially given the pain I can see now etched into every beautiful line of his face.
“I want to.” He pushes into a sitting position, causing my hand to fall away.
Sliding up beside him, I turn inward, crossing my legs in front of myself. He swivels towards me so that we are facing each other. Taking my hands in his, he rubs circles on the back of each one with his thumbs, his eyes focused on the movement. It's several long moments before he finally starts to speak again.
“She was diagnosed when I was eleven. At first we were optimistic. The doctors said that she had a good chance of beating it.” His accent is thicker than usual and I can tell this is something that he doesn't talk about often.
“Killian.” I start, but he just keeps going.
“She got better for a while but then right before my thirteenth birthday, she took a turn for the worse. She never got better after that. Two months later she died.” He lets out a slow breath. “All of sudden I found myself in a foreign country, with people I barely knew, and not a shred of the life I missed more than I could bear.” He takes another deep breath and finally meets my eyes.
“Cancer?” I don't want to ask but my curiosity wins out.
“Ovarian.” His reply is instant. “For so long she was all I had. It was the Killian and Mom show. We had our own little existence in this world. When she died, it all died with her, as it should. She will forever exist only to me and I feel this obligation to keep it that way, like speaking of her is somehow a betrayal to her memory, even though I know it's not. Is that strange?” He asks, meeting my gaze.
“I don't think so.” I admit.
“Maybe it's just because it hurts too much to talk about her.” He shrugs.
“I'm so sorry Killian.” My voice is weak.
“It was a long time ago.” He shrugs, trying to seem less affected by the grief he clearly still carries. “Anyways, Alice was my saving grace. She has stood by me through everything. My teenage rebellion, the fights, the girls, the drinking, she never gave up on me.”
“Sounds like you are very lucky to have her.”
�
�I am.” He agrees, seeming to shake off the heaviness of the moment in an instant before turning a slow smile towards me. “Your turn.”
I hesitate for a moment, surprised by the abrupt shift, but then finally manage to stutter out a response. “What do you want to know?”
“Past relationships...” He leaves the statement hanging. I lean my head back and let out a small laugh before meeting his gaze again. “That bad?” He smiles.
“Pretty much nonexistent.” I agree. “I mean, I've dated. A couple were semi-serious but it never worked out. I have always been too focused on school, on work, on all the things I want to accomplish. Seems like every guy I have ever dated felt as though he came second to everything else.” I shrug.
“I don't get it.” He shakes his head at me.
“You don't get what?” I ask, not able to contain my smile with the way he is looking at me.
“Why anyone would ever let you go.” He says, his words sending a shock wave through my entire body. Before I even have time to let his statement sink in, he's leaning forward.
Taking my mouth on a slow heated kiss, he reaches for me, pulling me towards him. I go without hesitation, eventually settling onto his lap. Wrapping my legs around his waist, my hands immediately run along the scruff that lines his jaw before plunging into his hair.
I pull him closer, tighter, deepening the kiss, pouring every amount of emotion I have into it. I want him to feel what I feel, see what I see, need what I need. His fingers dig into my hips as he grinds upwards, the evidence of his arousal clear.
Flipping me gently onto the blanket laid out along the bed of the truck, Killian positions himself between my legs before leaning back down and taking my mouth again. His hands roam my body, my breasts, my stomach. A small moan escapes my lips as his hand clamps down on my hip and he once again grinds his erection into me.
This seems to be my undoing...
We rip and tear at each other’s clothing like every second we spend with a barrier between us, is another second of torturous hell. Killian's hands are everywhere, his lips are everywhere; tasting me, teasing me, showing me a pleasure that I never even knew I could find. When the last of our layers have been stripped away, I lay bare, trembling beneath him.
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