The sun was shining obliviously, the sky an almost insultingly clear blue. Helen, my fellow waitress at Blue’s, still hadn’t released her death grip on my arm, her hand acting as a manicured handcuff.
The police and private security had their own twisted faces, their own chant: “Get back! This is private property. I warn you—get back! You have to dissipate, or you’ll be facing arrest.”
They were advancing and we were drawing back.
“Donna, there’s no media,” said Helen, and she was right.
There were no reporters, no videographers, no one. Without them, our cause was more hopeless than futile, our rebellion less than invisible. Without the media, this was as good as a gob of spit on RayGen’s impassive face.
And yet, as I looked around me, at the faces I was growing to know better and better each protest—Peter and Sam, the hippies with their tie-dye shirts and shaggy hair; Yan, the petite mother with the loudest voice; Kyle, my own manager—I knew it wasn’t about that. It wasn’t about standing up for justice when the odds were good, when we were bound to be victorious.
No, fighting for justice wasn’t about winning. It was about doing what was right, fighting for it—often hopelessly, uselessly, and stupidly—and yet fighting all the same. It was about standing up for the good in the world when no one else would.
And yet, the dirt underfoot was slippery as we drew back, farther and farther, the police and security advancing with their riot shields and their unseeing faces.
As we passed a digger, its black teeth already dug into the ground, Yan ran over to it. Out of her green canvas backpack she extracted a long, thick silver chain. It clanged as she took it out and swung it round her bare tan arm and the digger’s golden yellow one.
But she was too late. Two scowling officers were already there, one at each arm, shoving her back into the still-withdrawing crowd of protestors. Their faces wore only a mild annoyance, as if they were swatting away a fly. As the group of protestors neared the dirt road we’d come in on and looked around, seeing the bowed heads and set-in frowns, it was clear: we’d failed.
Yan had tears in her eyes. I went over to her and hugged her.
“It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”
Because this wasn’t over, and her brave act of rebellion hadn’t been in vain. I had an idea.
Chapter Two
Carter
The alarm went off at 6:55 a.m., as it always did. I got out of bed, put on my robe, and went downstairs.
Breakfast was on the table—a bowl of shredded wheat. I had fifteen minutes to eat, but I did it in five. There was no time to waste. Wasted time was wasted money. Bad habits were like flesh-eating diseases; once you developed them, you had to amputate to remove them.
Karen was nowhere to be seen. Good.
Today’s suit was hanging on the outside of my closet—black with blue stripes. Once it was on, it was time to brush my teeth. After thirty seconds on each quadrant of my mouth, the toothbrush buzzed and I was done.
My briefcase was ready by the door. I picked it up and went outside where my car was waiting.
Inside, I sat down and paused. My phone was buzzing with notifications, but they could wait. My screen went black, and I stared at my reflection. I felt strange.
I turned the key in the ignition and pressed my foot on the gas.
No matter. Once I got to work, I’d pop a caffeine pill or a painkiller depending how I was feeling—lazy or annoyed. Or both.
The roads were clear, the cars like clumsy turtles bumbling out of my way, the same way life always had.
Weird, how no one else saw the patterns that underlay everything. The equations, the fractions, the rules that were absolute, that, once found, made the user unstoppable. That was what I was and, after today, what I would be—immutably.
“I’m going to make you proud, Father,” I whispered under my breath.
I got to work in seven minutes, three better than usual. Today was turning out to be a success already. I pulled into my parking spot, the one labelled “CEO,” then strode into my building.
In the lobby, the suited peons were swarming, a horribly frightened, busy mass. I strode through easily; all stepped aside for the CEO of RayGen, the wonder kid, the boy who was tapped in, unstoppable, ruthless. The last man who had annoyed me had ended up flipping burgers.
The black marble echoed as I walked across it, and the elevator beeped for a split-second before arriving. I’d had it installed after all. “The best elevators in the country,” the seller had said before I’d lowballed him into the price he gave them to me for. Sometimes it was so easy. It astounded me how others didn’t get it. Take, or be taken from. Choose, or have your choice made for you. They were simple yet incontrovertible laws, and still, these days it seemed like I was the only one who got it. No matter.
In the elevator, people had pressed themselves out of the way and were shooting admiring looks at me. I nodded back. After work today, I would eat the meal ready for me on my table, go to the gym, and then sleep.
Floor by floor, more people scuttled out until the silent box reached the top—my floor, the penthouse. The elevator doors opened, and as I sauntered out, Cynthia shot me a significant smile.
Ah yes, Cynthia. Maybe between work and going home to eat, I could spare twenty minutes for her. Why not?
My office door opened at my touch. I surveyed it with a swell of pride: the rich mahogany desk and shelves, the panoramic view of the city, the scowling picture of my father presiding over it all like an omnipotent god. I nodded to him and smiled a close-lipped smile. Today would be as expected and orderly as all other days were.
Chapter Three
Donna
This cannot be a good idea.
As I strode up to the tall dark tower of a building, the fearful voice in my head repeated the words: This is not a good idea. There’s still time to turn back.
But I only picked up my pace and clenched my fingers around my black purse so they’d stop shaking.
I wasn’t going to turn back. I couldn’t. I’d bought this suit—a fitted gray two-piece—just for the occasion.
Images of my parents, their kindly faces all crumpled as they surveyed our new house, and of my final view of our ranch in the back car window as we drove away slid through my head. RayGen had snatched our home away from us without so much as a “please” or even a fair payout.
No, I was going to do this. I had to.
Inside the building, I weaved my way through a scowling crowd of people, all of whom seemed to be hurrying, and looked just as scared as I felt. Their gazes rested on me too long, as if they knew already. This was not a good idea. My plan was never going to work.
And yet, my legs were locked in motion. I wasn’t going to stop.
Consulting the black glass directory on the wall beside the elevator told me where I needed to go: the penthouse.
The elevator arrived immediately, the wall of people inside shifting to make room for me.
When I pressed the golden “P” button, their stares lingered. I kept my gaze straight ahead.
You’re a successful businesswoman. You’re Lillian Stafford, CEO, I reminded myself.
This is never going to work, the other voice said.
Swiftly, the elevator rose, emptying out the other people, bringing me closer to the floor I didn’t want to reach, to the finality that wasn’t going to be good. After a few more floors, it was only me, the silver chrome box, and, as it stopped at its final destination, the penthouse.
The doors opened, and I stepped out. From a too-high clear glass desk, a blond receptionist looked down her nose at me.
“Yes?”
For a few seconds, I stood there speechlessly. Her utter disdain, the way her features were tensed in a bored sort of disgust—she had to know what I was about to do. Yet, how could she? When her gaze shifted away to the computer at her desk, I found my voice.
“I’m here to see Mr. Ray.”
“Do you h
ave an appointment?”
She didn’t even look at me.
“No.”
“You have to have an appointment.”
She still hadn’t looked at me, and suddenly, I was horribly, horribly angry.
“I don’t think you realize just who I am.”
At my confident ‘fuck-you’ tone, she looked up. Squinting at me, her eyes narrowed, she was about to speak when I did.
“I am Lillian Stafford, CEO of Stafford Corporations.”
As she prepared to speak again, I added, “I wouldn’t want to be the person who prevented me from seeing Mr. Ray, if I were you.”
In the following silence, we stared each other down, her skeptical, narrowed eyes matched by my haughty glower. Let her deny my entry. Let her just try.
“Okay,” she said slowly, rising and walking over to an out-of-place wooden door.
Opening it and sweeping her hand inside, she continued. “He just stepped out for a minute. He’ll be back momentarily.”
Then, she and her strained, polite voice were gone, thankfully, and I was left with the enormity of what I was about to do.
Truth be told, I had never expected to even get into the office of Carter Ray. I had expected them to laugh me away at the front desk, require an access card that I had to flash at the elevator—anything. And yet, now, somehow, despite everything, here I was.
My gaze stopped on the wall, on a portrait of a malevolent-looking man. There was no time to waste; Carter could be back any minute.
I hurried over to his wooden desk, trying not to be distracted by the intricate carving on the front of the impressive thing. Focus. Just focus, Donna, I told myself. Just find a loop, a drawer, a—gotcha! The brass handle on the top drawer would do.
Taking the handcuffs out of my pocket, I secured one around my wrist, and then the other on the handle. Then, I sat down on his navy cushioned chair, staring down the door, taking deep, slow breaths. I had made it this far. I could do this.
The longer I waited, the more my worries festered. What was I thinking, lying my way in here and handcuffing myself to his desk? Carter Ray was a notorious sociopath; he was sure to laugh me out of there, if not call the police. Behind me, the eyes of the grumpy man in the portrait burned into me. I glared at the rich mahogany door in front of me miserably. If only that stupid, snide receptionist wasn’t at the front, I could sneak out of here and avoid this mistake I had so clearly made.
And yet, as I rose, it was too late. The door handle was turning. The door opened, and I sat down.
Framed in the doorway, the man paused. His dark eyes flicked around the room, stopping on me. He turned around, probably peering at the secretary he was going to question in a minute. When he turned back, he shot me another look, stepped inside, and then closed the door behind him.
He cocked his white-blond head at me.
“What do you want from me?”
As I took him in, with his chiseled, harsh face, a strange excitement coursed through me, and the words spilled out of me.
“I’ve handcuffed myself to your desk in protest against your company’s ongoing assholery. I’m not leaving; I don’t care what you do to me.”
A smile flickered across his lips.
“I can see that. But that isn’t what I asked.”
He strode up to the desk and, putting both hands on its glossy surface, repeated: “What do you want from me?” Before I could respond, his gaze still on my face, he continued. “And I’d be careful what you wish for.”
His hand slipped over my handcuffed one. His touch was surprisingly gentle, cool.
“Haven’t you heard of me?”
I glared at him. I wasn’t going to play his stupid game. It didn’t matter how attractive I found him. I was going to tell him off—why I was here, everything—just as soon as I could find the words.
“I don’t care.”
His hand stopped over mine and then slipped to my cheek.
I twisted my head away.
“Whatever your reasons,” he said, “this was either very rash, or very stupid. Surely you’ve heard about me and my taste for…enjoyment.”
Our gazes met, his black one burning. Of course I had heard of his insatiable appetite for women; I just hadn’t even considered it when laying out my plan. Suddenly I felt very, very stupid. And afraid. And then, angry.
“I’m here about my family’s ranch. You forced us off our land and gave us next to nothing for it. My parents have all but given up. All thanks to you. So I just wanted to tell you that I think you’re despicable.”
At my words, Carter’s face fell. Almost as if—no, it couldn’t be—as if my words had really affected him, had really made him feel something. In the silence, all the possibilities flashed through my head.
Carter, grabbing the drawer I was handcuffed to and heaving it across the room.
Carter, yelling for his secretary, both of them sneering at me as they manhandled me out.
Carter, his hand flicking to my cheek once more, this time striking me, all the while wearing a mocking sneer.
Nothing, however, prepared me for what he did next. Sitting on the desk, his back to me, Carter spoke to the closed door.
“I might be able to help you out—possibly. If you help me out.”
He threw a casual glance over his shoulder. I couldn’t make out why, but in the presence of this dangerous, cruel man, the only things I felt were clashing tides of arousal and pity. Maybe that was why, before my defiant “no” could come out, my head was nodding.
Next thing I knew, Carter had shifted himself on the desk and was facing me and running his hands up mine, along my arms, up and down, his eyes alight with a hunger that frightened me, thrilled me and enraged me. His hands moved up my shoulder, over my neck, to my face.
“What are you doing?” I asked softly, and he smiled.
“Exactly what you want me to do.”
Chapter Four
Donna
As Carter’s lips pressed to mine, I realized he was right. His lips were soft, his tongue insistent, swirling and dancing with mine. His hands were everywhere, on my sides, slipping under my shirt, caressing my thighs.
Moans were slipping out of my lips, even as I knew I would have to stop this. I was going to tell him to stop when he stopped kissing me. But when he stopped kissing me, he was pulling my shirt over my head. And—I was about to tell him—but then he was kissing my side where his hands had been, and his hands were caressing my thighs, kneading the gray fabric into my skin beneath. I was going to tell him to stop as soon as he paused, but next thing I knew, he was unbuttoning my suit skirt, unzipping it, running his finger along my lace panties.
Almost like you knew, his smirk said.
As Carter slipped a finger under the lace and into me, I could only moan in response. He was just teasing me, however, and I moaned again as he withdrew. Right after, he was running both hands up my body, stopping at my bra so he could fondle my breasts underneath.
God, I wanted him so badly. I couldn’t do this, and yet I couldn’t not.
As his hands slid around to the back of my strapless bra and unlatched it, I gasped out, “Carter.”
He tossed my bra aside. Peering into my face with an arrogant look, as if he already knew what I was going to say, he asked, “Yes?”
As both his hands clasped my breasts, I murmured, “I don’t know…”
He cocked his head at me.
“Oh yeah?”
One of his hands snaked down to my pussy and slid a finger in, and then out. Carter wagged his glistening wet finger in my face and smirked.
“I think you do know.”
I was about to respond when both his hands grasped my ass, and instead of words, moans spilled out of me. Amid the blurry tendrils of want twining up my body, I felt him slip my panties down over my thighs.
Now completely naked in his office chair, I watched as Carter paused, took a step back, and surveyed me.
“Well, aren’t you so
mething.”
I grabbed his belt, and he batted my hands away, like a cat at a mouse. As his one hand unlatched his belt, the other pressed over my mouth.
“You’re helping me, remember? This—all of this—is at my pace, how I want it.” He pressed his hand over my mouth harder. “Got it?”
Another soft nod before I would tell him to fuck off. Because, as Carter unbuttoned his jeans, I realized I needed this, whatever this was. I’d never felt such a rush of passion, of want, of need. No, as Carter pulled down his slacks and stepped out of them, and my pussy swelled with a hot pulse of desire, I knew that whatever this man wanted, whatever this man did to me, there would be no resisting it. I needed this.
His eyes really were black in color. Staring at me with a predatory sort of hunger, he picked me up and shoved the chair away. Then, my hand still cuffed to the drawer, he turned me so my back was to the desk, sat me on it, and pressed himself against me, teasing me.
My whole body trembled with pleasure. God, I wanted him.
Carter, however, had paused. Looking down at me with a cocky smile, he said, “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, you know.”
Glaring at him, I slid myself up and down along his length. Stepping away, leaving me on the desk there, wet and horny, Carter continued casually.
“Really, I mean it. I’ll let you go; no harm done.”
His gaze was ironic, mocking and yet serious. This was my last chance, my final opportunity to do the right thing, to save my dignity and go, leave.
I stared back at him, at this cruel, irresistible man, and willed my body to move, my lips to open and say “okay.” To leave. But nothing moved. Instead, all I could think about was when he’d fill me. How was I supposed to do the right thing when my pussy was dripping wet, practically tremoring for the wrong thing?
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