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Wolf on the Hunt

Page 18

by N. J. Walters


  He might as well have stabbed her in the heart. The emotion was all out of proportion for a man she’d only known a matter of days, but there was no denying the intensity.

  As if he didn’t realize he’d just slashed her heart open, he continued. “It didn’t really do anything for her.”

  “Nothing?” She couldn’t quite believe that. How could any woman kiss Louis and not feel anything?

  He gave her a small smile, and she could tell he was remembering the incident. “I wanted there to be something there, but there was nothing.” He brought their joined hands to his lips. “Not for her or for me.”

  “Really?” She wanted to believe him so badly it made her ache.

  “I was in love with the idea of her. It got worse when she and Jacque mated and then as the others found mates.”

  His sense of loneliness beat at her, but she wanted more than simply being convenient. “So I’m the first unattached female werewolf you’ve run across. I may be a half-breed, but I’m better than nothing, is that it?”

  She hurt so much she couldn’t even cry. It was as though every ounce of emotion had been drained from her body. She knew it was still there just waiting to erupt, but only when she was alone, only when it was safe. She wanted to laugh and cry. She didn’t think she’d ever felt this bad.

  Louis knew he was destroying the best thing that had ever happened to him. Gray had retreated. There was no emotion on her usually expressive face. If he didn’t do something fast, he’d lose her.

  “You’re not a convenience. And you’re certainly not better than nothing.” He struggled to find the right words. “You’re my miracle, Gray. I’d given up looking. I’d resigned myself to living alone for the rest of my life.”

  There was a slight glimmer in her eyes, so he plunged onward, baring his heart to her. “Werewolves have twice the lifespan of a human, so I was anticipating many years by myself. I figured I’d continue to do the one thing I was good at—protecting the pack. I’d be the favorite uncle to my friends’ children and eventually die alone.”

  A lone tear slid down her face and he leaned in and caught it with his tongue. It was warm and salty.

  “And then a crazy and courageous woman took a wounded wolf into her home. I was half in love with you before I realized you were a half-breed.” He glanced at Shadow. “His smell helps mask your scent.”

  Louis wanted to kiss her but was afraid to. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if she rejected him.

  “The smell of blood and my weakness kept me from understanding exactly what you were.” He stroked his fingers over the curve of her cheek, unable to keep from touching her in some way. “I watched you stand up to those hunters for me.”

  Her eyes widened, and he nodded. “I’d shifted and was watching from the hallway, ready to jump in if I needed to. But you held them off until the deputy arrived and sent them on their way. I was back in my wolf form and on the bed when you returned.” A small smile played on his lips. “Then you told me you knew what I was.”

  “Not one of my smartest moves.” It was the first time she’d spoken since he’d felt her emotionally withdrawing from him. It gave him hope.

  “Maybe not, but it’s what makes you so special.” Taking a chance, he brushed his lips over hers. She didn’t open to him as she usually did, but she didn’t pull away either. “You’re so brave.”

  Her laugh was small and sad. “I’m not so brave. I was scared to death.”

  “But you did it anyway. That’s real courage.” He ran his hands down her bare arms. “You fascinate me,” he confided. “After the first time I kissed you, I knew that I’d never really loved Gwen. I’d just wanted someone to love.”

  He felt her start to stiffen. “When I kissed you, I understood what I’d been missing all my life.”

  “Louis.”

  He shook his head. “No, hear me out.” He placed her hand over his heart. “Being with you filled the empty spot that has always existed inside me. With you, I feel complete. Whole.” He rubbed his hand over his face, praying he was getting through to her.

  “You’re everything to me, Gray. You’re the reason I’m looking forward to life again rather than merely living day by day. Duty got me through before, but this is so much more. This is hope and life.”

  She was shaking her head, but he nodded. “I love you, Gray Everson. I know it’s too soon for you, but that’s okay. I can be patient when I really want something. Even if you leave, I’ll follow you until I know you’re safe. I won’t leave you out there in the world unprotected.”

  That was a given, and he knew that Jacque and the others would understand.

  He toyed with one of her curls even as he watched her face for some inkling of what she was thinking and feeling. Would she cut out his heart with a few simple words or would she grant his greatest wish?

  It was all in her hands.

  Chapter Seventeen

  He loved her.

  Gray wanted to believe Louis was simply handing her a line. That would be easier for her to deal with than the sincere outpouring of emotion coming from him. She might only be a half-breed, but she’d always been adept at spotting a lie. Louis was either telling her the truth or he was the best liar she’d ever met.

  And, really, why would he bother? He could show her the door, wash his hands of her and leave her to fend for herself. They’d already had sex. Plus, as much as she didn’t want to think about it, Louis could walk into a bar any night of the week and get a woman if he wanted one.

  Therefore, he must be telling her the truth. It was mind-blowing. What did you say to a man who told you that you were his everything? That he’d protect you even if you left him?

  Yes, the idea that he’d been in love with Gwen stung. The other woman was pretty and confident. But the more Gray replayed their interactions together, the more she realized that she’d sensed no undercurrents of emotions beyond playful friendship. There was no doubt that Gwen was devoted to Jacque and he to her.

  She could have that kind of bond with Louis. The little voice in the back of her head whispered the revelation. He wanted to mate with her. She wanted to ask him more about what exactly went into mating but was afraid to.

  Her emotions were all over the place. The wall she’d started to build to protect her emotions cracked and splintered. It didn’t matter if she left or if she stayed, Louis was in her heart.

  “You don’t need to say anything or make any decisions,” he told her. She sensed her silence hurt him. She could see him struggling to contain his emotions and bury his needs in order to give her what she required.

  She bit her bottom lip to keep from blurting out that she loved him. How could she be sure? She wanted him. She cared for him. But a lifetime commitment? She wasn’t quite ready for that step yet.

  “I—” She broke off, not knowing what to say. “I care about you.” She had to give him that much. To do anything less would be cruel. “I’m just not sure about the rest.” It sounded lame but it was the truth. She had a lot to think about.

  He rubbed her back and arms. “It’s okay. Just give us a chance. Stay here with me. At least until the threat is dealt with. No matter what you think, I will protect you.”

  God, she’d really hurt him earlier. “I know you’ll protect me. That’s what I’m afraid of.”

  He started to scowl, but she put her hand over his mouth before he could reply. “I don’t want you hurt, especially not on my behalf. I didn’t save you from hunters to have you turn around and get yourself killed,” she teased.

  He didn’t smile, but he did lick the palm covering his mouth. The heat that had gone dormant flared to life once again. Honestly, it was as though her sex drive had an on switch and all Louis had to do was touch her to flip it.

  His nostrils flared and she knew he could smell her desire. To give him credit, he didn’t push her any furth
er.

  “Come here.” He pulled her head down onto his shoulder and simply held her. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

  This man had to be one in a million. “I’m sorry I hurt you too.” And she was. “I never meant to imply that you weren’t up to the task of protecting me, only that I didn’t want you to get hurt.” It was important that he understand that.

  “I’ll be fine, chère.”

  The man was maddening in his refusal to admit he could get hurt, but he was her man. The idea settled deep inside her and it felt right. She knew she loved him but wasn’t ready to admit it yet. Everything between them had happened so fast, she didn’t quite trust the emotion. Better to give it some time to be sure.

  “Why don’t we join the others? They’re probably holding supper.”

  She scrambled off his lap and rubbed her hands over her thighs. “Sure.” She wasn’t sure she wanted to face all of them, especially Gwen. They all had to know how Louis had felt about her.

  He tucked her beneath his arm as he led her to the backdoor. Shadow jumped off the sofa and padded silently behind them. The walk to the other house didn’t take long. Barely long enough for her get control of her wayward emotions.

  Louis kissed the top of her head. “Don’t worry so much. We’ll have supper. We’ll talk. They all love you.”

  Gray wasn’t quite as sure about that as he seemed to be. If there was one thing she’d learned about this pack in the short time she’d known them, it was that they were very protective of one another.

  She nodded and entered when he opened the door. All eyes turned toward them. Shadow, the traitor, hurried off to join his new friends, Tigger and Seymour, in the living room, leaving her alone with the others. No, not alone. She had Louis with her. That bolstered her confidence.

  “Right on time. I’m taking up supper.” Gator was bustling around the kitchen with Cherise helping, but there was no doubt as to who was in charge. It was strange to see such a tough-looking man dishing up what smelled like delicious, spicy chili.

  Louis held out a chair at the table and she sat, nervously rubbing her hands over her jeans. Anny leaned over and whispered encouragement. “They can be a little overwhelming at first, but you get used to them.”

  Gray nodded, not quite knowing what to say. Anny was right though. She wasn’t nearly as intimidated by the group as she’d been when she’d first met all of them. Yes, they were still powerful, dangerous people, but they were much more than that. They were a family who loved and cared for one another and who would do anything to protect their pack.

  She could respect that.

  “You’re staying.” It was more a statement than a question, but Gray answered Jacque.

  “I’m staying, at least for now.” She glanced at Louis. “We’re going to take things day by day.”

  “That’s wonderful,” Gwen interjected. “You can set up and work in the office if you like. It’s usually empty several hours during the day.”

  Gray appreciated the offer. “Thanks. I’ll probably use the porch, if you don’t mind? I like painting outside when I can.” She turned to Louis. “I’m going to need my canvases and paints. And the rest of my clothes.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “I should probably clean out the place.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Anny told her. “You can leave whatever you want there. I’ll call Mark Harrison and let him know not to rent out the house again until I give him the go-ahead.

  “But you’re trying to sell the house. The least I can do is put it back to rights so people can view it.”

  Anny waved aside her concern. “The house has been on the market for months, a few weeks won’t hurt it one way or the other.”

  Armand leaned over and kissed his mate’s cheek. “Besides, she doesn’t need to worry about money.” He winked at Gray. “I’m loaded. I can take care of her and the cats.”

  Anny scowled at her mate. “I can take care of myself, thank you very much.”

  Armand nuzzled her neck. “But I like taking care of you.” His tone was intimate and sensual, leaving no doubt as to how he’d like to take care of her.

  Louis squeezed her leg under the table. She glanced at him. “We’ll get all your things for you. Don’t worry.”

  Gator and Cherise began bringing bowls of chili over to the table. There were also several large plates filled with thick slices of fresh bread. The delicious aromas made her stomach growl.

  “Dig in,” Gator told everyone.

  Gray tried a small bite at first. The flavorful mixture burst to life on her tongue. It was spicy but not too hot. She took several slices of the bread and slathered it with sweet butter. It tasted amazing too.

  The others ate and chatted. Cole was quiet, and so was Cherise, but Gray was beginning to know them all better and understood it was just in their nature to be more quiet and watchful. She was much the same. Gator was more outgoing and teased the women in a good-natured manner. Sylvie and Armand fell somewhere in between. Jacque and Gwen were natural leaders.

  And then there was Louis. He was in a class all on his own. She was very in tune with his moods, always aware of his every movement. He was watchful, a part of things but apart. It was a strange place he seemed to occupy within the pack.

  Jacque discussed several investments with him, obviously valuing Louis’s input. Gray watched the other men, but they didn’t seem upset or disgruntled. Armand even added his own opinion without being asked. Jacque took it into consideration as the discussion continued. She was fascinated by the workings of this pack.

  “Do you think you could show me some sketching basics after we eat?” Cherise was sitting across from her.

  Gray swallowed and took a sip of water. “Sure. I brought my sketchbook and pencils. You can borrow what you need. If you enjoy drawing, I can help you pick out what you need online. It’s a great hobby and doesn’t cost too much to get started. If you decide you’d like to learn how to paint, I can give you some tips on that too.”

  Cherise was almost quivering with excitement. Gray wondered what in the heck she was doing. She was acting like she was staying for longer than a few days. Cole was watching her intently. It felt like he was reading her mind and expecting her to back out of her offer. She glared at him and one corner of his mouth tipped up. It couldn’t be called a smile by any stretch of the imagination, but it did warm up his expression.

  “That would be wonderful. Thank you so much. I’m taking online business courses at the moment. I’m enjoying them, but I’d like to try my hand at something more creative. Gwen writes, Anny bakes and Sylvie has started sewing.”

  Gray could hear the lack of confidence in the other woman’s voice and was deeply moved by it. She understood what it felt like to not belong, to not have confidence. “It’s my pleasure. And if sketching and painting isn’t your thing, I’m sure you’ll discover what it is eventually.”

  Cherise nodded, but Gray could tell the other woman was still feeling inadequate. “I tried baking when I was younger,” Gray confided. “My grandmother was amazing. Her baked goods always won ribbons at the local fairs.”

  “You can bake?” Anny asked.

  Gray shook her head. “I’m abysmal at it,” she confided, making the women laugh. “After several attempts at some very simple recipes, my grandmother finally admitted defeat.” Gray smiled fondly at the memory. “She bought me a pack of colored pencils and a pad of paper and I started drawing while she baked. It was the beginning of my love of art, which my grandmother encouraged.”

  “You were lucky to have her.” There was a melancholy in Sylvie’s voice that told Gray she hadn’t had an easy life.

  “Yes, I was. I never doubted her love and support even for a second.” As if hearing the ache in her voice, Louis wrapped his arm around her and gave her a squeeze. At the same time, Shadow padded out to sit beside her. He glanced at the dishes on the table
and licked his lips.

  It was easier to give her attention to the dog than to delve back into the pain of her grandmother’s passing. “You hungry, boy?” She turned to Louis. “I need to get his food and his dishes. I didn’t think to bring them.”

  “Because you didn’t plan on staying,” he countered.

  She shrugged. He was right about that.

  “I’ll run over after we eat and get your things,” Armand promised. “I know what belongs to Anny, so whatever doesn’t has to be yours.”

  That made sense to her. “I can go with you,” she began.

  “I’ll go.” Louis ate several mouthfuls of chili before continuing. It reminded Gray that her dinner was getting cold, so she started eating again. “You’re giving Cherise drawing lessons,” he reminded her. “The rest of you need to stay with the women. I’ll get Gray’s things.”

  “I’ll go with you,” Jacque announced.

  Gray felt the finality of Jacque’s words and knew his word was law.

  “Gwen will hang out with the others while we’re gone,” the alpha continued.

  Gray had almost forgotten that this pack lived with the constant threat of attack. They didn’t let it stop them from living but took precautions at all times. This was the world she was becoming a part of.

  When everyone went back to eating and chatting about other things, Louis leaned closer. “I won’t be gone long. You’ll be safe here with the others,” he murmured.

  The man was infuriating. Always worried about her and never about himself. “You watch out for yourself. I’ll be severely pissed off if you get hurt.”

  Rather than get angry at her admonishment, he had the audacity to smile. He ran his fingers down her cheek, and she shivered. Her breasts swelled and her entire body yearned for his touch.

  “Let the woman eat in peace,” Jacque ordered Louis.

  His words broke the sensual spell and reminded her there were other people with them. Only Louis could make her forget her surroundings quite so thoroughly.

 

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