by Zeenat Mahal
She wasn’t sure what was going on. She probably couldn’t quite believe that he was going willingly but all evidence pointed towards it. He let her ponder it, his face serious and business-like.
“I…I don’t know. I mean, you’re a very busy man and you have meetings and…things,” she finished lamely, still regarding him with suspicion, unwilling to believe that it was going to happen. She’d have to honor the contract, which was to look after Natasha as befit a mother. The contract had mentioned holidays and it did not specify his whereabouts on said holidays.
“I do have a lot of meetings but luckily they’re all in Europe. We can easily work around them.”
He ventured an innocent look towards her. She smiled, but there was a dangerous glint in her eyes.
“How wonderful for you and Natasha, you two really need to spend some quality time together. What a wonderful plan.”
He scoffed at her pitiful attempts. He wasn’t worried; he knew the others would do his work for him.
“We’re not going?” Shahaan wailed.
“What nonsense! Shahira, that’s rubbish. You can’t do that to Shahaan. You didn’t even go on a honeymoon like any normal couple would have. At least go on holiday as a family.”
His mother was on fire today.
Softly, in a trembling voice, Natasha whispered, “You won’t come?”
Shahira didn’t lose her nerve, yet. “Really Natasha, there’s nothing I would like better. I can’t leave your grandmother alone and I can’t expect your father to look after Shahaan as well, so darling, it’s impossible.”
“I don’t need anyone to stay, I’m fit as a fiddle.” Realizing her strategic mistake, his mother backtracked, “Cough…but I can’t travel in all those…cough…cold places.” She shivered for good measure before adding, “I have Susan, Nusrat and Allah Yar. I’ll be fine.”
All eyes were back on her. She looked at Shahaan. “Baby, come here.”
The wrong thing to say.
“I AM NOT A BABY!”
Shaking his head at her lack of tact, he settled back, already savoring his assured victory. For a teacher she sure could put her foot in her mouth. Shocked, stunned silence followed. Shahaan was still glaring at his mother angrily. She was the antagonist now against the rest of them. Perfect!
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to call you baby, Shahaan…but it’s impossible for us to go…”
“Why?”
Yes, why indeed, let’s see you get out of this one. But she was a teacher and she was used to handling cranky kids. She smiled her most winning smile. It lit up her face. There it was again, that sudden need for her. What was this, some nikaah-related emotion? Why did he want her so badly?
“Not everything has to have a reason, Shahaan. Some things just are. Do we ask the reason why the sun comes up or goes down? Some things we have to accept just because.”
Shahaan looked stumped. His shoulders were beginning to droop. It was time to help the little trooper.
“Actually, we do know why the sun comes up and goes down, don’t we Shahaan? What happens when the sun comes up?”
The boy gave it a thought and then yelled, “Morning!”
He smiled and asked, “And what happens when it goes down?”
This time Natasha too joined him, “Night!”
“Hence everything does have a reason.”
Having established that she didn’t have one, he looked back at her, trying not to seem too smug. Apparently, he failed because she smiled tightly and said, “Can I talk to you for a minute in private?”
He gave it a thought, debating whether or not he could use the moment to his advantage, but decided against it. This was not the time. He shook his head decidedly.
“Later. Let’s finalize this plan first. After all, we agreed to be a democracy. What kind of parents would set the example for their children that it’s acceptable to go back on one’s word? We said it was going to be a democratic choice, didn’t we? Shahaan, correct me if I’m wrong but the last count was four to one, wasn’t it?”
More shouts and this time he didn’t bother to hide the mockery that must have been obvious to her. Perhaps he’d allowed more than just the mockery he was feeling to show, because her face registered a slight horror and excusing herself, she fled.
***
“You’re what?” Nudrat yelled.
Already incensed with the situation, Shahira replied, “We’re going to Europe. The children wanted…”
“And Hussain is taking them. Even you?”
Shahira didn’t know whether to laugh or bemoan Nudrat’s open hostility. She poured tea for her unwanted guest and admired her audacious fashion sense. Her shirt fitted her like a second skin and had two holes cut out from the sides to showcase her slim tapering waist. Well, all the male drivers and cooks were having a grand time.
Just as the maid handed Nudrat her teacup, surprise, surprise, Hussain walked in.
“Just the man I wanted to see!” Nudrat abandoned her teacup and gushed at Hussain, who looked slightly bemused.
“Hello Nudrat.”
They kissed on both cheeks, and arm entwined with Hussain’s, Nudrat dragged him with her to the chaise longue.
“Shahira, pour Hussain a cup too. No sugar and just a drop of milk. Isn’t that right, Hussain?”
Shahira rolled her eyes at this ancient trick.
Hussain watched her reaction with amusement, and then tripped her up by saying casually, “Oh, Shahira knows exactly what I want from her.”
Giving him a disdainful look, she retorted, “Would that be my famous hareesa with parathas, cooked in desi ghee?”
Hussain gave a delighted laugh and said, “How about some hemlock instead?”
“Oh, I’m sure you’re immune.”
Nudrat was horrified. “Shahira, how can you talk to Hussain like that?”
“Oh, Nudrat this is just...foreplay,” Hussain said, giving Shahira a sultry look.
Shahira nearly dropped her cup.
“Talk about too much information, right?” She laughed nervously and shot him a quelling look.
Hussain was watching her with intense hawk-like eyes and Nudrat was watching him watch her with growing alarm. What was going on between these two? Shahira made the tea according to Nudrat’s specifications and was about to hand the cup to the maid when Nudrat leapt up, “I’ll get it.”
She swayed forward on her five-inch heels to fetch the cup, providing a titillating view of her fabulous body to Hussain. Shahira blushed and looked away.
“I’m surprised you’re dragging Shahira along with you to Europe. I mean, the poor darling will feel so out of place. It’s really too bad of you to treat her like a nanny.”
Hussain’s eyes turned icy. Taking the cup from Nudrat he said in a warm tone that made the clear warning in his eyes all the more deadly.
“This is just a small bribe for the kids, before I whisk away my gorgeous wife for a long overdue honeymoon. I was thinking of the Bahamas, but Shahira isn’t very fond of beaches, so maybe we’ll do the lesser known gems of Europe.”
Nudrat’s cup tinkled and her smile wavered. Shahira glared at Hussain. What was he trying to pull?
“Aw. Hussain is so forgetful. What we finally decided was that instead of wasting all that money on two trips, we’ll donate the money to charity. Nudrat’s will do just fine, wouldn’t it?”
Shahira gave Hussain a sweet smile. He smiled back with a mischievous gleam in his eyes knowing full well what she was up to.
“Hussain,” she said ever so sweetly, “do write a generous check for Nudrat’s charity. Nothing will give me more pleasure.”
So that’s what she thought of him? She thought he liked money that was why he didn’t stay. He couldn’t blame her. That would be the natural conclusion for anyone who was familiar with his lifestyle. She didn’t know him though. And he wanted to change that.
He also wanted to have some fun at her expense while doing so. With a smile he said, “Shahi
ra my love, just say the word.”
Why was he giving Nudrat the impression that they had more than a contractual relationship? Was he trying to make Nudrat jealous? But that made no sense because Nudrat was obviously available, so what kind of game was he playing?
Hussain was already writing a check. Oh, okay Hatim Tai.
Sweetly, she said, “Please make it a nice big one, worthy of that honeymoon you promised me?”
Without looking up from the check he was writing, Hussain laughed, and added another zero to the number he’d already filled in. Throwing her another sultry glance he handed Nudrat the check. She took it and gasped.
“My, my, you were planning a fancy honeymoon weren’t you?” Her voice sounded brittle.
On the one hand Shahira wanted to reassure Nudrat that there was nothing between her and Hussain, and on the other, there was also a certain sense of satisfaction at seeing Nudrat’s obvious discomfiture. But Hussain and his adulterous predilections were none of her concern, so she checked the thought firmly and took out her ire on the perpetrator of the situation.
“Hussain just doesn’t know where to stop, Nudrat.”
Tartly Nudrat replied, “Oh, I think you’re wrong. I think it’s a woman’s job to keep her man in line, Shahira darling, and you’re obviously not up to the task.”
A little surprised that Nudrat was finally coming out into the open with her attack, she was speechless for a moment.
Hussain’s smile vanished and he said coldly, “Or maybe, Shahira doesn’t believe that a man needs to be ‘kept in line’. Shahira’s…special. In fact I can’t say that I’ve ever seen a more fascinating combination of beauty, brains and strength of character.”
He spoke quietly, but it was hard not to catch the note of sincerity in his voice. She stared at him open-mouthed, right along with Nudrat.
Shahira smirked and said through clenched teeth, “Isn’t he the sweetest?”
Without another glance at anyone she sped out. What the hell was that? She didn’t want any Romeo-like tendencies growing in this contractual husband, especially now that they were going to Europe. Or was he just pretending? He had to be just saying it. Of course he didn’t mean it. She sighed in relief at the realization, debated going up to her room, but then decided she couldn’t take the coward’s way out, so taking several deep breaths she grabbed a spoon from the kitchen as an excuse for her sudden departure, and dragged her feet back to the purgatory that was her sitting room.
“…Please Hussain…don’t do this. She’s nobody! She’ll never fit in your life or your social circle…” Nudrat sounded shrill and desperate.
She heard a rather rude word that Hussain seemed to be partial to, small wonder that, and then his response too.
“She’s my wife. That’s who she is, and anyone who can’t remember that isn’t my friend and is certainly not welcome in this house.”
“You’re making a big mistake.”
“I think my whole life’s been a mistake, Nudrat. This is the one thing I may have done right.”
He sounded deadly serious. From the safety of the shadowed passageway, she saw Nudrat leave in a huff and Hussain climb the stairs to his room, looking grim.
Her heart thumping and breath hitching, she retraced her steps back to the kitchen and held onto the counter to regain her balance. His words still echoed in her mind. She shook herself. There was no way she was going to believe anything he said. Nor was she going to allow this sudden soft, melting feeling inside her to take root.
≈
EIGHT
As far as Hussain was concerned, the matter was settled. He told his travel agent to book the hotel and their flight for the coming week. Shahira had no option but to go. What the hell was wrong with her? Most women would kill for a free trip to Europe.
He was more twisted about his own reaction to her. Especially that sudden surge of anger he’d felt because she’d shown disappointment at the possibility that he might accompany them. Hussain considered himself a rational man. But with Shahira he hadn’t been very rational. From the very first she’d made it clear to him that she didn’t want this relationship as anything more than a business transaction. At the time he hadn’t even given it a second thought, but gradually she’d sneaked into his consciousness. Was he one of those men who interpreted a woman’s disinterest as a challenge?
In all honesty, he could say no to that, but things had changed over time, and he’d become fascinated with the prim schoolteacher. He was attracted to her and seeing as she was a young and pretty woman, that wasn’t so strange. It was her reticence that he found strange and it didn’t go down well with him. That problem merited some thought.
Nudrat’s needling of Shahira had made him angry too. He’d had this intense, possessive desire to protect her. He’d wanted her to feel she could count on him to be her champion. He wanted her to know that she could depend on him, that he’d protect her.
There was a soft knock on the connecting door.
He opened it. She wasn’t standing in a transparent negligee ready to throw herself in his willing arms as he’d hoped, but was in fact severely overdressed and looked rather forbidding.
“Yes?” he asked, although he had a fair idea of what it was about.
She looked nervous and agitated.
“I…don’t understand what happened yesterday. I mean, wasn’t our deal to keep out of each other’s way?”
He smiled tightly. He’d faced off many business rivals and he was used to facing the toughest opposition and still come out on top. He intended to do just that, especially with her. He was already looking forward to this family holiday as if he’d been waiting for just such an opportunity. All this family wedding and hoopla must have rubbed off on him.
“Well, I don’t know about each other’s way. It was understood that I would do as I pleased, being the employer so to speak, or even a husband, if you like,” He tried to joke.
She laughed a bitter little laugh.
“No, I don’t like. It was decided that we would have nothing to do with each other. But how could I have been so foolish as to think that a woman’s preferences would be important?”
“Oh, please don’t go Mata Hari on me. And in any case, I was just kidding about that—mostly. I don’t in the least endorse that kind of male dominance. Natasha needs me and so does Shahaan, whether you like it or not.”
She looked thoughtful.
“You seem to have manipulated the situation so that I have no say in the matter,” she paused and then looking levelly at him, said slowly, “I just want a reassurance that you remember our deal in all its aspects and that you guarantee that you’ll honor it. I’m not like Nudrat.”
He cleared his throat. This was not good. He’d hoped to get to know her over the holidays but if she kept insisting on keeping a distance, how was that ever going to happen? How had he come this far, this soon? Somehow, she had become the embodiment of all his dreams. All the ones that had shattered, thanks to Rutaba.
He tried reassuring her, “Nudrat was a very, very long time ago. Sometime after the death of my first wife.” Even now after all these years the mention of that woman left a bitter taste in his mouth. “And I know you’re not in any way like Nudrat. You’re a very special woman, Shahira,” he said in his slightly husky tones. Why did he become more determined to have her every time he set his eyes on her, or spoke to her?
“Yeah, men like you think that any woman is…”
That was why.
A low growl escaped him. “Men like me? Please, enlighten me.”
She was a little, just a little, apprehensive and seemed to regret her choice of words but she had a point to make. “Men who are rich and suave, powerful and handsome and are used to women.”
He paused. And in a slightly mollified tone he asked, “And you think I’m all of the above?”
She scoffed, “Er…Duh!”
He was too busy enjoying the fact that she thought he was handsome to say anything for
some time. And here he’d been thinking she hadn’t noticed him. He was obviously off his game.
“Shahira, how about a compromise? How about you promise me that you won’t hold your little prejudices, your pre-conceived notions against me? And I promise you that I’ll never do anything you don’t want me to do.”
She gave a hysterical little laugh. “That’s just semantics.” Then added softly, her eyes far away, slightly glazed, “You know there was a documentary on rape victims, and the rapists—all of them said that they hadn’t done anything that the women hadn’t asked for.”
Her voice had dropped to a whisper, fear writ large on her face.
“Alright, first off, wrong choice of words, I’m sorry. Secondly, are you seriously implying that I might…rape you?”
Her eyes flickered and she looked a little embarrassed. “I…I was just…I didn’t really mean…but…” She breathed deeply and said steadily, “Okay, look. The thing is that I don’t want you to have any ideas. My experiences were…traumatic for me, and I have issues…” She paused, deliberated for a moment but then stopped where she’d left off.
His heart wrenched at the sudden insight that she’d been a victim of marital rape. He also got the feeling that she’d been about to say more but had decided against it.
Gently he asked, “Does this have anything to do with your previous marriage?”
Shahira’s shoulders lifted, she raised her eyes and looked into his squarely.
“How is my previous marriage any of your business?”
Hussain watched her brown eyes, now dead and empty. She’d suffered in that marriage. And she wasn’t going to acknowledge it. At least not to him. Had she sought any professional help?
Ignoring her rebuff, he said kindly, “I cannot pretend to understand what you may have endured, Shahira. If I’m right in my assumption that your husband abused you, you should seek help. It’s something no woman should have to go through, especially not at the hands of the man who’s supposed to protect and cherish her. I’m so sorry.” He took her hand in his and said softly, “You’re a woman of courage. Don’t hide from ghosts Shahira. Let me help you.”