“This is not a snipe hunt. We heard a broadcast. It said Frankfort was a safe haven and they have a hospital. By not checking it out, we’re risking both your life and the life of our baby. What kind of man would I be if I was unwilling to risk my life to save the life of my wife and child? Is that what you think of me? Of course it’s risky, but not going is risky too. I’m willing to take that risk. I am not a coward.”
Doc, bless his heart, stepped in. “Kevin, nobody is questioning your bravado or your motivations. We’re questioning whether it makes sense to risk your life on an unknown. And you need to consider this: there’s a very real chance you might not make it back. Then what? Michelle is still pregnant, she may still have preeclampsia, but now she has no husband to take care of her, just an old retired doctor from the backwoods of Michigan.”
“Why can’t you go part way and try to reach them on the radio?” Michelle asked. Kevin was glad she was thinking outside the box. They sat there for a few minutes, considering.
“If I take the radio, but all I hear is the looped broadcast, we haven’t gained anything,” Kevin said. “If I can’t confirm whether or not the hospital is open, there is no way I could come back without knowing. If something went wrong it would haunt me all my days, knowing there might have been something I could have done.”
“Besides,” Doc said, “the broadcast we heard was on FM radio. Even if you have a portable FM radio, most of the tabletop models aren’t very good. They don’t have much sensitivity compared to the average car radio. Chances are you’d have to get within fifty miles of Frankfort to even pick up the signal. If you’re that close you might as well go the distance. But you can’t do it on your bike.”
He paused as if he didn’t want to say the next words. “You’re going to have to take my Jeep.” Kevin could tell this took a lot of effort for Doc to say. He acted like he was giving someone permission to date his daughter. Kevin was glad Doc was . . . well, not on his side, but was rationally weighing the options at least. Michelle, on the other hand, didn’t feel the same way.
“I can’t believe you’re actually encouraging him!” she said. “You’ve been out there. You know what he’d be up against. It would be crazy for him to make that trip.”
“When push comes to shove, it’d be just as crazy for him not to make the trip,” Doc countered. Michelle stood up, her eyes flashing with anger and her facial muscles taut.
“Why is it you boys always stick together in times like this? Why don’t my feelings matter? I don’t want Kevin to go.” She looked at Kevin. “I don’t want you to go. I just found you. I’m not willing to risk losing you no matter what.”
“I hate to fall back on pure logic,” Kevin said, “because you’re often more logical than me. I know how smart you are. By not going, we risk losing two lives. By going, we only risk one. Not going risks more than going. And despite my love for . . . ” Kevin suddenly stopped talking and took a hard swallow, then took a few breaths. “Despite my love for you, and my eagerness to please you, ultimately this is my decision. You can’t make me stay here against my wishes. You can’t stop me from going.”
That was the last straw for Michelle. “Make you stay against your wishes? Is that how you feel? Are my wishes so unimportant to you? You’re going to do what you damn well please no matter what I think, is that it? Is that the kind of husband you aim to be?” She stormed off and went into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her. Other than the bathroom or going upstairs, it was the only place she could find privacy.
Doc got up as well and went into the storeroom. He returned with two highball glasses filled with bourbon. “Here you go, Kevin. Welcome to married life,” he said with a sardonic smile. “I can’t tell you what to do. But I can tell you this. You can win the battle and lose the war. Or you can lose the battle and win the war.” Taking the offered glass from his hand, Kevin took a big swallow, feeling the warm glow travel down his throat into his stomach.
“I think I’m more willing to lose this battle—by that I mean go against her wishes—and potentially save her life and the life of the baby, than I am to stay here just to make her happy.”
Michelle must have been listening from the bedroom. She flung the door open and shouted, “Thanks a hell of a lot! You promised to love, nurture and protect me. And now you’re talking about leaving me. I guess your vows were nothing but meaningless words!” She slammed the door shut again.
Speaking very low so she wouldn’t hear, Doc said, “Pregnancy does a number on a woman’s emotions. Give her some space.” Kevin nodded his assent. He appreciated Doc’s advice.
Doc and Kevin talked it over more during the night while Michelle sulked in the bedroom pretending to read. Eventually, she announced she was going to bed and promptly disappeared under the covers with her back to the door. Once Kevin helped get Doc settled, he joined her. Even though her eyes were closed, Kevin could tell she wasn’t sleeping. He nestled his body against her and draped his arm around her waist. “Michelle, my love, there will be times for both of us when honoring our love means doing something the other person doesn’t want us to do.” Kevin whispered into her ear. “The second to the last thing I want to do is make you mad at me. But the absolute last thing I want to do is lose you or lose the baby. I would . . . ” Once again Kevin had to stop as his emotions prevented him from talking. Then he went on, “ . . . die before I’d let that happen. I would die trying to protect you and the baby. My life is forfeit when it comes to you and the baby. That’s my job. I’m sorry you don’t understand. If I don’t find out if their hospital is open and something happens to you or the baby . . . I couldn’t live with myself. I lost Jason. I lost Tammy. I have to do anything—everything—to make sure that doesn’t happen. I can’t lose either of you. I couldn’t survive. I wouldn’t want to.”
Michelle started weeping and leaned into him. “I don’t want you to go! What if something happens to you? What if you never come home? I’d never know what happened, whether you got hurt or killed or turned into a zombie or just decided not to come back! I don’t want you to go, even though I know it’s important for the baby. You’re not the only person who lost someone, you know. I haven’t let myself love anyone since I lost Wayne and the baby and my parents. I’ve trusted you with my heart, and now I’m scared to death because you’re going to walk out the door and maybe never come back.” As she said these last words, she broke into sobs. Kevin reached over and took her hand.
“Shh, shh, it’s okay. You still believe in God, right?” He felt her head nod. “You’re going to have to trust God to take care of me. If you believe He brought us together, you have to believe He has plans for us.”
“Lots of people believed in God, and almost all of them are dead or worse,” she pointed out.
Kevin couldn’t argue with that, but said, “We aren’t them. We survived and we’re doing okay. In the depths of hell we found each other and found love. Of all the houses in Ann Arbor you could have moved into, you moved in next to me.” Doing his best (but horrible) Humphrey Bogart impression, Kevin said “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine. Play it, Sam. Play As Time Goes By.” This elicited not so much as a small giggle from her.
“I’m not going to be stupid. We’ll plan my trip, avoiding as many towns and cities as possible. I’ll travel light and go fast. It’ll probably take a day to get there, a day there, then a day to get back. I’ll be gone for three days, four days max. And when I come back, we’ll send Doc upstairs and I’ll ravage you for hours on end.” He felt a slow change come over her as she thought over his words. While she was thinking, Kevin rotated the ring on her finger. “I’m married to the woman who may very possibly have the best rack in the country, if not the whole world! I’m not going to give you up!”
She nestled her head against his shoulder, and ran her fingers through his chest hair. “Promise me you’ll come back. Promise me you’ll be with me when the baby comes. Promise you won’t find some
sexy survivor in Frankfort with a great set of boobs and decide to stay with her.”
Knowing how little his promise actually meant, Kevin kissed the top of her head and said “I promise. I’ll come back. I’ll cut the baby’s cord. I won’t fall in love with another girl who has a rack nearly as nice as yours.” As he said this, he once again cupped her breast in his hand. They fell asleep with her fingers in his chest hair and his hand on her breast.
When Kevin awoke very early in the morning, they were spooning. He leaned over and kissed the top of her head and she stirred, turning her face toward him with sleepy eyes. He pulled her close and they began kissing. All of their stress over the past few days and their disagreement about the trip and having Doc with them all the time vanished with their rising passion.
They made love quietly since Doc was in the next room, but probably would have been quiet anyway. It was a different kind of lovemaking; there was a tinge of sadness intermixed with the lust. After they finished, they dozed off. Kevin woke up an hour or so later. Michelle was crying again. He could tell she was trying to be discreet so she wouldn’t wake him. But he could hear her sniffling. At first, hearing her cry tore his heart in two, but soon he felt a change. She wasn’t crying because her heart was broken. She wasn’t crying because she’d been betrayed. She was crying because she was afraid. She was afraid of losing him. It was an amazing moment. She was weeping over him, not because he’d screwed up and disappointed her, but because she loved him and was afraid of life without him. It was a revelation, that her love for him could make her weep. He had forgotten what it was like to be loved so furiously. Another man might have been filled with pride and ego, but Kevin felt humbled. To be entrusted with such a love required only one response from him: to do everything he could to deserve it.
After a few minutes, her sniffles subsided and her breathing slowly deepened as she fell back to sleep. When Kevin awoke later, the bed was empty and the shower was running. It seemed to run for a long time, making him worry about the water heater draining the batteries. If the batteries drained completely, the lights would go out, leaving them in utter darkness. He pulled on some jeans and a t-shirt and peeked around the corner. The plant lights had come on and dimly illuminated Doc, still sleeping.
Kevin went back into the bedroom and was tempted to turn on the fluorescent lights for a few minutes to charge up the phosphorescent paint, but decided against draining the batteries further. Running the water heater was draining them fast enough. He was moments away from knocking on the bathroom door and saying something when he heard the shower quit. After a moment she came into the bedroom, carrying a lantern, and closed the door. She put the lantern on the dresser and combed her hair while looking in the mirror, her eyes puffy and red. She must have been crying in the shower.
“Good morning,” Kevin said quietly.
“Good morning,” she said politely. She had the tone of voice you hear when someone responds only because they don’t want to be accused of not responding.
“Are you mad at me again?” Kevin asked.
“I’m not mad. I’m frightened. Kevin, I don’t want you to go. But your mind’s made up. You’re going to do what you want, even if I don’t want you to.”
“You’re absolutely right, Michelle,” he said. “I’m going to do something you don’t want me to do, and I don’t want to do it either. I don’t want to go. To be honest with you, I’m scared too. I have more to live for than I ever have. I know the trip is risky, and it could turn out horribly. But I’m going to go, because if they really have a hospital, it might save your life and the baby’s life. And that’s the kind of bond I want to have. The kind we have right now, where we’re both willing to do something we don’t want to do for the sake of our marriage. Our marriage comes first, our marriage and the baby. Before what I want and before what you want.”
With a sigh, Michelle sat on the edge of the bed. “You’re right, Kevin. You believe it’s the right thing to do, and I respect that. I know you’re going. I’ve accepted that. But that doesn’t mean I have to fucking like it.”
Michelle rarely dropped the F bomb, which gave it a lot more weight. Kevin grabbed her and pulled her into his arms.
“I love knowing you aren’t going to try to talk me out of it even though you’re against it. I love you doing what I ask, even if you don’t like it, just because I asked. I am such a lucky man.”
They lay wrapped in each other’s arms, for several minutes. It would have been nicer if they could have stayed that way. But they smelled coffee brewing and reluctantly got out of bed to start their day.
CHAPTER SEVEN
In the kitchen Kevin pulled out a state map and asked if Doc and Michelle could help plan his route. Doc agreed, but Michelle said she didn’t do maps. The men went upstairs and studied the map on the kitchen counter, the room lit by the skylight. They penciled in a route, taking state roads and avoiding as many populated areas as possible. Kevin dug a highlighter out of the drawer and traced over the path.
“You realize you may not be able to follow this route,” Doc said. “Some of the roads may be jammed with cars and zombies. Some of the smaller communities not on the map may be barricaded or swarming with zombies. Or mercenaries. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had to go off road now and then.”
“If I have to go off road I can. And I’ll take my bike along in case I need to ditch the Jeep.”
“Hmmm. That’s smart. But don’t come back without my Jeep.” They continued poring over the map, and eventually had the route planned. Kevin would drive past Chelsea then head north, passing east of Lansing to avoid Grand Rapids. Then he’d head west on M-57 to M-37 north, and eventually arrive in Manistee. From there he didn’t need a map as he knew the route by heart—US 31 north to M-22, past Onekama and Arcadia into Frankfort. The route had a minimum of small communities and even though this was not a pleasure trip, the last twenty miles would be very scenic.
Kevin asked Doc to explain preeclampsia again, and Doc went over the details, putting it in layman’s terms. But it wasn’t just preeclampsia he was worried about—Michelle was at risk for any number of conditions, including gestational diabetes. Doc had no testing equipment, no way to monitor the fetal heartbeat and few options for treatment. If things started going bad she could go downhill fast.
“So let’s say I get to Frankfort and they do have a working hospital with doctors and equipment. We’ll pack up and head there, right? And hopefully my trip up will help us know what places to avoid.”
“While you’re gone I’ll try to scavenge more gas cans so we can drain the gas from the boat we found. We should be able to make the trip on one tank, but I’d rather take extra and not need it than to run out. I’ll also make sure Michelle’s okay. She and I can spend some time getting acquainted.”
They headed back downstairs and Kevin began to pack. He didn’t need much—a change of clothes, enough food and water for a short trip. He debated whether he should take some booze—not for drinking, but as a kind of currency should he need to barter for something. He decided to take a case of whiskey, though he was loath to remove it from the house.
He packed his revolver and Doc’s shotgun, ammunition, a small hatchet and a can of fix-a-flat. Doc loaned him a hunting knife but kept the rifle. Kevin packed a sleeping bag and a rain coat.
By the time the gear was packed securely and stowed in the Jeep, Michelle was sulky and emotional again. He felt bad, but there wasn’t anything he could say to make her feel better, so he took Doc’s advice and gave her space.
Once he was packed and ready to go, it was already mid-morning. Feeling like a complete heel, he headed back downstairs. Michelle was in the bedroom, sitting on the bed.
“Hon, I’m all packed. It’s time for me to leave,” he said somewhat timidly.
“Okay.”
He gave her a kiss on the lips. She hesitated but then returned his kiss. Barely. He hated leaving like this. But what could he do? With a sigh, Kevin left
her sitting on the bed. Doc checked outside and saw the coast was clear, so they walked outside.
“Doc, I . . . ” he started.
Doc patted him on the back. “I’ll take care of her, Kevin. You just make sure you take care of yourself. No unnecessary risks. Be smart, be aware, and get back here as soon as you can. She’ll be fine, she’s just scared. And you’d better take damned good care of my Jeep!”
Kevin nodded and slid into the driver’s seat. He took one more look back at the house to see if Michelle had come upstairs. She hadn’t. He held out his hand and Doc shook it heartily.
“Good luck, Kevin. We’ll be here when you get back.”
Kevin still couldn’t talk and was having difficulty reining in his emotions. He didn’t want to get emotional in front of Doc for God’s sake! They finished shaking hands and Kevin backed the Jeep down the driveway. Looking up and down the road, he saw a couple of zombies, but nothing to worry about. He’d handled a lot worse. He pulled onto the narrow street and headed west. He began driving past the silent houses, feeling empty and alone, just because Michelle didn’t say goodbye. Geez, I am so whipped! he thought. Just as Kevin made the first turn at the end of the block, Michelle stepped outside and, unseen by Kevin, waved goodbye.
He headed out of town and began negotiating the back roads of southern Michigan. The Jeep cast a shadow on the road before him. He had the heat on in the cool of the morning, but knew by mid-day he’d shed the jacket.
It could have been a pleasant morning drive. There was no traffic, he could see wildflowers in the fields and could faintly hear song birds. But it was difficult to notice them, much less appreciate them. What once would have been a pleasant drive was instead a tense, full-radar exercise in awareness. Rusting car crashes, fallen trees, even washouts; these kept him on alert. But it was something else that kept him on high alert.
Zombies were everywhere. Kevin saw them in the open fields, saw them milling around houses and buildings. He had to swerve around them in the road. In his rear view mirror he could see the ones he passed slowly turn his way and began to shamble after him.
Love in the Age of Zombies (Book 2): Zombies in Paradise Page 7