Vibe

by Liza James

  "This can't be real," I mutter under my breath, my entire body shaking with disbelief as I watch everything unfold.

  "Oh it's very real, wildflower. This day has been prophesied from the very beginning. You were always meant to lead The Nation. This is your true devotion. Sacrificing your love of Nova for the greater cause is your destiny," Dom whispers in my ear as his hands maintain their harsh hold against my body. This doesn't make sense, how is Ruby's family a part of this?

  "Dom found us years ago, just before you were born Nova." The older woman with grey speckled shoulder length hair speaks first. Who I now realize is Ruby's mother and stands next to a tall, lean man dressed in black slacks and a crisp white polo. Ruby's father. "He introduced us to The Nation, to all of the good his people were doing on the streets for countless others. So many charities, fundraisers and programs in place because of The Nation. We saw the need for financial support, and chose to invest in what he's built here. That's why Dom was so close to us all as you grew up. We hoped you would willingly join with us when you came of age. But soon, we realized you had other—" she pauses, clearly trying to phrase what she's about to say. "Preferences when it came to relationships. Dating young boys we could handle, Nova. But it was clear that you were diving into other wicked tendencies and before we knew it, you had lost sight of your path completely."

  "We thought of sending you to conversion therapy, Nova, hoping that someone else might have greater luck in treating your issues. But before we could put anything in place, you had run away. At that point, Dom was the only one who could keep an eye on you, and we believed that through his cleansing sessions he would be able to purify you." This time, it's her father that speaks. His voice deep and flat in a way that sounds indifferent.

  God, he's fucking indifferent to her. They've already resolved themselves to what they believe will happen to their daughter. Ruby's eyes fall even dimmer, slipping closed while a sad smile pulls at her lips and she sways back to sit against her legs.

  "We were clearly mistaken," her mother says, disappointment evident in her tone as she brushes her hands down the front of her khaki's. "I'm sorry it's come to this, but we were aware this was the most probable outcome."

  At that, Dom shoves me forward, gripping my hair tightly as he twists me to face Ruby.

  "No, it's not happening. I won't fucking do it!" I scream, attempting to kick my legs back in hopes of connecting with this groin. But I miss, my frenzied movements far too erratic to control through everything I'm feeling. The fucking disgust, the anger. The uncontrollable feelings of defeat that whip through my head.

  This can't be happening. Fear bubbles up in my stomach, working its way up my chest while I frantically try to figure out escaping this.

  My hands are tightly gripped and yanked forward as Malin steps in front of me along with Zale, all three men forcing the rifle into my hands.

  "Do it," Malin says as Zale's hands attempt shoving my finger against the trigger. I fight against them, prying my hands off the gun while they continue against me. I'm struggling, my head whipping back in hopes of colliding with Dom's nose but I miss and throw my own body off balance. It gives them the advantage, but I suddenly realize I'm distracting them enough for Ruby to attempt escaping herself. My eyes collide with her, begging her, fucking pleading with her to run while I have all three of them focused on me.

  She stumbles as she tries to balance on her feet, lunging to the side quickly as Dom suddenly catches the movement. I rip my shoulder out of his grip in hopes that he'll attempt securing me again, but he doesn't. He immediately rushes away from me, leaving me in the strong hold of Malin and Zale when his hand darts forward and catches Ruby's hair, yanking her back against his chest.

  "Don't even fucking think about it," he bites out as he jerks her back into position and shoves her down to her knees. "Fucking shoot her, Aura. Shoot her, or I'll kill the bitch myself and we'll start this all over again. I will bring innocent after innocent to this field and you will be forced to watch them die. Listen to their fucking screams and pleas for help. You'll be the witness to every demise, every last breath that falls from their lungs." He's angry, his venomous words ripping from his mouth while his anger finally unleashes. This is the Dom Ruby speaks of, the one who enjoys watching other people suffer at his hand. "Their deaths will be on your hands, their blood tattooed across your memories."

  "Kill her, wildflower," Malin whispers as tears stream down my face and I shut my eyes. I want to block all of this out. I don't want it to be real. This can't be fucking real, this can't be my life again. My heart hammers, thrashing a consistent pattern against my bones that makes me beg for a heart attack. Kill me now, in this moment, because I can't go through with this and I can't be here to watch so many others die in her place.

  I need her.

  I need to be free.

  This is it.

  The moment when I die, at the hands of the only woman I've ever truly loved.

  Was it worth it? That's the only question that keeps drifting through my mind in the midst of this chaos. At the sight of my own parents willing to watch me die. While one flawless memory stands in front of me, the obscure outline of Aura, who almost seems to be a dream now.

  Because this can't be my reality. I want to refuse believing this is anything more than a nightmare.

  And yet there is still the larger part of me that hopes it isn't. Because that would mean Aura never existed. That would mean her sweetly innocent self never walked into my club that night while I danced against those godawful butterfly wings.

  Butterflies. Another simple word that flashes through my mind.

  That would mean she hadn't changed, or become the person I know her to be now. She wouldn't have lived through her own metamorphosis, her own release of her identity and strength in the ways she does now.

  And I can't believe that to be the case because she's standing right in front of me, fighting with all of her strength to be free of these men who have claimed her childhood like they attempt claiming her now.

  God, she's beautiful. Even in all of this, I beg for it to be real. No dreams. No nightmares. No early mornings where I wrack my brain for what I just envisioned in my sleep.

  Aura is mine. And even in death will I claim her for myself. I'll never give her up.

  "Vibe Girl," I whisper, wishing I was strong enough to alter this moment into something beautiful. She doesn't hear me though and I listen to the cries that fall from her lips while Malin forces her hand back on the gun.

  "Vibe Girl," I say again. Louder this time, and her eyes flick to mine before deliberately looking away.

  "Vibe Girl!" I shout, so loudly that it echoes off the trees and Aura finally falls silent. Everyone around us remains calm, clearly realizing we'll all be here until this is finished. I don't think anyone expected this to be an easy completion.

  "Painted streaks and stolen moments," I say, my eyes focusing on her while I tell her all of things I want her to know. "I was jealous of every moment I watched Hawk with you. Even Bethie, whenever she flashed your friendship in my face when we first met."

  "No," Aura cries, her lips trembling while she listens to what I'm saying. "Don't do this."

  "You're not the same girl I met that first night at the club." My heart thunders in my chest, salt slipping across my tongue with every word. "You're so much more than that now. So much stronger. So beautiful and flawless in your power."

  "Stop talking," she bites out, the anger evident in her tone as she pushes against me. Always fucking fighting me. I smile.

  I love it when she's angry.

  "You don't need me anymore," I whisper, forcing my breaths to steady while I give her this freedom. Her own freedom. It's always been hers.

  "I do need you," she cries, her sobs falling into the thick air around us. "I'll always need you."

  "I'll always love you," I say, not caring for anyone to hear me. I'll never live up to their standards. It was never in the cards for me and I don
't regret one single moment of my own life. My own decisions. "I'm happy we're here. Because I know what we had was real. Every moment, every fight, every secret and every memory. I'll keep them all because you'll always be mine."

  "No," she says, slamming her eyes shut while she continues chanting the word through her shaky voice.

  "You're like a butterfly," I say, a smile pulling at my lips as I suddenly draw the connections. "You were small before. Only because you didn't know your own power. Because these people stole it from you at the very beginning. They hid your own identity from you, masking you into the caterpillar when you were always meant to be more." I laugh, the immediate inspiration of who she is dawning on me all at once. "You've always been the butterfly, Aura. Don't ever forget that. Even at the end of this, when I'm not here to remind to you that you're so much stronger than what they do to you." Dom yanks my head back by my hair in his fist, but I refuse to stop speaking. Not now, not when this is the end for us. "You've evolved, Aura. Into something they'll never be able to tame."

  Aura is silent, the continued tears falling down her face while her eyes fade into that distant look she's been slipping into. She's releasing all of this, I can feel it. But I'm drawn deeper into her gaze by that fire sneaking up in the darkness. That curiosity, that determination.

  "I'll never let you go," she whispers as she lifts the gun and Malin and Zale step to the side.

  Finally.

  Finally she's free.

  I'm staring into the barrel, relinquishing myself to the back of my mind while I try to prepare for how this will feel. Will it hurt too badly before I die? I shut my eyes, letting that smile slide onto my face as I remember the moments I've spent with Aura. Every single memory, the happiest ones belong to her.

  That's when I hear it, the loud shot of the gun as it fires and aims directly for me. I anticipate the sting, the searing of my own flesh as I wait for the pain to hit me. But immediately after the first comes a second and when I hear the sound of Dom's own cries next to me, I snap my eyes open to the horror that surrounds us.

  Aura's hands are holding the gun tightly, but the barrel has drifted to the side and too Dom. He collapses to the floor, his hands clutching his chest as blood spills and stains the white t-shirt she's wearing. "Sorry, daddy," she whispers, a sick smile tugging at her lips as her own blood spills across her chin. She falls to the ground, and that's when I realize her mother's standing behind her, a small gun nestled tightly in her own hands. It smokes with the release of its own shot, and my chest rips apart with a strangled cry as I launch forward.

  My hands are still tied behind my back and I fight with every ounce of strength to free them. I don't care about the pain or injuries to my own flesh, I rip one hand free as my own slick blood coats my skin. But I can reach for her now, and I pull her head into my lap while my eyes frantically rake across her body for signs of blood. It's in spilling from her lower stomach, the bullet having hit her back and torn through the front.

  "No, Aura," I cry out, screaming her name while I press my palm flat against the bleeding wound. "Stay with me, okay? Talk to me."

  "I did it," she says, her voice weakened by her own blood as it slowly spills from her lips. "Now we're free."

  I nod my head, trying to remain calm, struggling to be the strength she needs right now. But I can't, fuck, I can't while her life is vanishing from her body and I beg to hold on to her. I can't lose her. I can't lose her.

  "I just wanted to be free," she whispers, that genuine smile lighting up her face while her green eyes dim in the now near darkness. "You gave that to me. My own butterfly, my own spark of hope when I had none."

  "No, no, don't leave. Not yet, I'll get help, okay? Just stay with me," I say as I lift my hand and gently grip her chin. Voices are sounding out around me, sounds of shuffling and cries as everyone loses control. But I can't even pay attention to them. Everything I have belongs to Aura.

  I lean down and kiss her, my lips trembling against hers while her fragile lips attempt kissing me back. I can taste her blood, and it terrifies me while I pull away and attempt dragging her into my arms while I stand. I step back, the adrenaline coursing through my veins while I stumble away from the frantic people struggling to save their fucking prophet.

  I have Aura, and that's all I'll ever need.

  "Get down!" a loud voice booms out from behind me. The sound vibrating over a speaker while I turn and try to see who has found us. God, I hope it's help and when I realize it's a crowd of police officers, I completely lose every ounce of false strength I held as I fall to the ground and cry out for help.

  I scream, over and over again while Aura's lifeless body lays across my lap. Uncontrollable cries fall from my lips as they rush forward, every other person hitting the ground with raised hands while they near us. I don't even have the strength for that, and I realize it might get me shot but at this point, I'd rather die alongside her than live this life alone.

  Suddenly, heavy arms shift underneath my own as I'm pulled away from Aura and another officer takes her in his own arms. No, no fucking way.

  One week later

  "I promise I'm okay," I say, struggling to force the words through my intensely sore throat. "I am positive I can go to the bathroom by myself, Ruby."

  "You don't have to though, that's what I'm trying to explain to you. Why would you waste your fucking energy getting there yourself when I'm right here to help?" Her voice is laced with annoyance, and I can't help the tiny smirk that taints my lips as I push past her and slowly walk to the bathroom of my hospital room.

  "Always so fucking bossy, you know that right?" I bite out playfully, pushing my way into the small space and shutting the hazy glass door behind me. I can hear her sigh through the thin barrier, and I let out a small laugh at the sound of it.

  It's been one week since we were rescued at the field, an entire force of officers finding us in the midst of The Nation's ceremony after I shot Dom and my mother had shot me.

  I've been here ever since, but I'm finally going home with Ruby today. Back to her apartment—to our apartment. The space I shared with Hawk became the first issue when I woke up after the injury. I had to break the lease with the complex, but they were all too willing to let me go easily once they had heard what happened.

  It's been all over the news. Every station. Every online journal.

  The Nation has been exposed.

  I look in the clear mirror and lift my fingers to my own cheek, brushing along the skin that's now healing from the countless bruises. I hear the quiet click of the door as I watch Ruby's reflection slowly step in behind me.

  "I knew you'd be looking at yourself again," she says quietly, stepping up against my back as her hands drop to my bare waist. I'm only in a sports bra and loose shorts, the bandages on my back are easier to change when I'm not shrouded by the gown.

  "I feel different," I say, repeating the same words I've said and thought over and over again.

  "That's because you are different," she reminds me, resting her chin against my shoulder before turning and pressing a kiss against my cheek. "You're free."

  "We're free," I say, trying to reassure my own concerned mind over the members of The Nation. My eyes fall briefly, scanning over my hands as they clutch the edges of the porcelain sink. I lift my eyes, meeting Ruby's hesitant gaze in the reflection ahead of me. "Are we though?"

  She bites her lip, clearly muddling through her own thoughts before she answers. "We are. We'll always be free, no matter who comes next."

  I drop my hand to hers as it rests against my waist, tangling my fingers through her own while my mind wanders to the open case.

  Everyone at the field was arrested, taken into custody and questioned through the ongoing investigation. But Ruby's parents were able to make bail and ditched as soon as they could. The story from everyone is a complete mess, conflicting ideas and perceptions as to what took place that day.

  Thankfully, Ruby and I were so clearly the victims that no
one was able to dispute that aspect. It was clear that I had only shot Dom out of self-defense, but his hold is so disturbingly strong throughout the city that he was also able to escape the confines of prison as well.

  That left Malin as the prime suspect, and my mother charged with the attempted murder against me. The few others have been released after questioning, and The Nation's headquarters have been completely emptied.

  The hardest part is that so many of them have disappeared, whisked away into the darkness by whoever is aiding them.

  So many unanswered questions. So many possibilities and fears.

  Now though, we're focusing on my healing, on whatever comes next for the both of us. We're releasing ourselves to being with each other, fully and completely this time without any reservations.

  I'm never holding back again, not with Ruby, not with anything.

  "You guys in here?" Bethie's voice sounds out from the room and Ruby drops her forehead against my shoulder, sighing out in frustration as her fingers tighten around my waist.

  "You can't stay mad at her now," I say quietly, laughing as I turn in her hold and move towards the door. "She saved us."

  "I know, I know," Ruby whispers, her tone laced with annoyance as she follows behind me. "Doesn't mean I have to like her though."

  I laugh, pulling the door open and stepping out into the room. Bethie stands in the doorway, a bouquet of peonies in one hand and a box of off-brand, generic cheerios in the other.

  If there's one thing about Bethie, she really does fucking know me. "Cheerios?" I say excitedly, snatching the box myself and already tearing it open. God, I love dry cheerios. But only the off-brand shit. Never the other stuff. It's coated with that waxy film I always hate.

  "I figured you could use these. Take them to Ruby's place today so you always have a box on hand." Bethie's voice is hesitant, and she hasn't stepped into the room yet. I can feel the tension lingering in the space, slinking around us while we wait to see how this interaction goes.

  I've only seen her once after we escaped the field and it's only because she was at the police station when we arrived.