Mister Hottiee

by Alice Cooper

  Sara pulled up the site on her computer. “Well here it is, let’s see what some of the men look like on the site. Hmm, I have to join the site and set up an appointment first to get access.” Sara sat and looked at the prices to join the site.

  “Well how much is it? How soon can you set up an appointment? Tell me, come on, you aren’t getting any younger.” Jen pushed her.

  “Hold on a second, okay I guess I’ll do this, I have to set up the appointment first. They’ll tell me about the service and if I want to join at that time, they’ll charge me $150. But that gives me access to the site and pictures wait, let me read this through first.” Sara read the information and then looked at Jen. “I guess I’ll try it. They have a money back guarantee that if you aren’t happy with their match you get almost all the money back.”

  “So when is your appointment?” Jen asked.

  “It says they will call me in the next hour to explain everything to me.” Sara said.

  “Oh you don’t even have to go to their office? That’s nice; I wonder how soon they’ll get a match for you?” Jenn said. “I’m so excited that you are taking this step Sara. It’s about time you moved on and tried something different.”

  “Well if it is really an alien, that’s completely different!” Sara stated.

  They talked a bit more, talking about her poor dating choices in the past and laughing. Thankfully, Sara was able to laugh about the past now. But not too long ago she would have burst out in tears at the mention of her last boyfriend, Tommy.

  Jen was right; he was a piece of garbage. He had wooed Sara so well and had almost completely gotten everything he needed to set up accounts in her name, without her knowledge. The truth was he might have gotten away with it, if the teller he had talked to hadn’t known Sara. But he had picked the wrong bank to try his scheme at, and had gotten caught.

  Sara found out she had a few purchases on her other card that he had made, and pressed charges against Tommy. He had turned on her like a rabid dog at that point, the loving words no longer streamed from his mouth. Instead he had thrown words at her that she hadn’t heard in her life before.

  Tommy hadn’t been the prince charming she had hoped he would be, at least she had found out before he had finished draining her accounts and taking her identity though. Sara knew that she had a problem picking out a decent guy. Out of the three she had dated, none had ever lasted long.

  Sometimes it bugged her that she was 24 years old and not married yet. All of her childhood friends had been married already; sure most of them had divorced also. But there will still some of them who were with their first mate. The others had moved on and found new husbands too. Jen though had been with her high school sweetheart, for the past 10 years now. They had married as soon as high school graduation was over, the very next week anyway. Sara often looked at the two of them together and was jealous, but happy at the same time. She really loved them both, but why was it so hard for her to find love?

  Her phone rang and she answered it. Jen listened intently to Sara’s side of the conversation.

  “Yes this is Sara Abram. Yes I would like to hear more about it. But could you tell me first are they really aliens? Do they look different from us? Do they have the same body parts as Earth men? How about kids, are they able to have them?” Sara rattled off her questions.

  Jen watched as Sara shook her head and listened to the other side of the call. She wished that Sara had put it on speaker phone so she could hear everything that was being said.

  “Well that’s nice. So how long does it usually take for you to match me up with someone? What if I don’t like the first one, and want you to try again? Okay, right. I see. I think I’ll sign up; I would like to put the charge on my card. How about making my profile, and all that?” Sara asked. “Alright, and okay, here are the numbers.”

  She hung up the phone and Jen asked immediately, “Okay so tell me everything.”

  “She said that yes they are aliens, and that usually kids will have to be discussed with your potential mate. It may be possible, or may not. I’m not so sure if I would want them or not. They look human with a few minor differences that she stated most people will barely notice. I could possibly have a date in as little as a day, and if I didn’t like the first one and wanted to try again they would simply charge me another 50 or keep 50 dollars instead of giving me the full 125 back that they take. So I would get 75 back, since they keep 25 for their services. Really it didn’t sound like a bad deal. She said that they screen the aliens very well. They don’t have a site where you get to choose someone, but they pick out someone for you.” Sara explained.

  “Well how about if you don’t find him attractive?” Jen asked.

  “I don’t know, this is why they offer the money back I guess. But she stated that with all of their past people they’ve done the same thing. I guess we’ll see just how good they are. She said I’ll get an email from them with a couple of choices, possibly. But most of the time they give you one person, and stand by that choice.” Sara said.

  “I’m interested to see how this system of theirs works.” Jen said.

  “Oh I send her my information via email, I don’t create the profile. From what I tell her and what they read about me, they will make the match. She suggested that we get that to her as soon as possible, it will speed up the process.” Sara stated.

  “So let’s start!” Jen told her.

  “I will she is sending me a few questions of what they like to know. Let me see, oh it’s here already. Wow they are fast!” Sara said.

  “What kind of things do they ask?” Jen questioned.

  “The normal things, what are you looking for, what do you like, etc. I don’t see anything I haven’t heard from Sally before.” Sara said. Sally was one of their friends who had found her last husband via another dating site. She had told Jen and Sara about the questioned she had answered. “Of course they need a picture of me, and they also want to know my measurements!” Sara laughed.

  “Do you have to write some cute little thing about yourself?” Jen asked.

  “Let me look. Not really, just those few things. Oh did you realize that this was a mail order bride site for aliens?” Sara asked Jen.

  “Really, no, I was just told it was a dating site. So they still offer you the chance to make a choice too?” Jen asked.

  “No she said that the women must be considered in their service. She pushed that high satisfaction rating a lot though during the conversation.” Sara said.

  “Well at least you get a choice!” Jen said.

  Sara looked at her computer and typed in her answers to the questions. “Really there isn’t much here, I’m about done, now we just need to pick out a good picture to include.” Sara said.

  “Oh I know the perfect one to choose. The one from the beach last summer that was a really good one of you.” Jen stated.

  Sara looked through her pictures on the computer and pulled up one that showed her lying on the beach. Her skimpy bathing suit did nothing to hide her curves. That was the way she liked it though. Her 145 pound body had muscles in all the right places; she prided herself on being in really good shape.

  “No wait, the other one where you have your eyes open. You know men love your blonde hair and blue eyes.” Jen said.

  “Oh you mean this one?” Sara asked as she pulled up another picture.

  “Perfect one, that will make any guy want you. Do the guys pick you or the staff picks the match?” Jen asked.

  “I think the staff matches us up, but she just ran through that rather quickly. She was excited hearing me talk though. She was a really nice girl, said she had some really great matches that she might be able to find for me.” Sara said.

  “Well I have to go, Jake is going to get home soon and I want to have supper ready.” Jen said standing up to go. “Tell me as soon as you find out about your match.” Jen said and gave her a hug before leaving.

  Sara sighed at the computer. She was nervous about
this service. But she was also excited at the new adventure that awaited her. She hoped the agency had better luck in finding her a match then she had her whole life.

  Chapter 2

  Sara got up the next day and was sipping her coffee as she pulled up her email. “Oh wow, I already got a match!” She said out loud and pulled up the email from Alien Major.

  Dear Ms. Abram,

  We would like to show you a match we feel will be great for you!

  His name is Drax; he is the equivalent of 24 years old in human years. He would like to take you out tonight at 8 pm. Please let us know as quickly as possible when you see this email that you are acceptable to this arrangement. Please see attached file for a picture of Mr. Drax.

  Thank you,

  Jane

  Alien Major Bliss Department

  Sara had to laugh a bit at the name of the department. But then she pulled up the picture. “Oh he doesn’t look alien. He has a bit longer face, but really I’ve seen a few people like that before. Well maybe they were alien and I didn’t know it though!” She laughed.

  As she looked closer the only feature she could really tell was alien on him, well that she could see in the picture, were an extra ear lobe. But she liked his short cut black hair, and his chiseled features. He looked like a warrior, tough and yet there was something in his eyes that said he could possibly be gentle as well! She looked again at his eyes and saw that they looked almost gray in color, but upon closer investigation, she saw flecks of brilliant blue and yellow spread through the gray.

  “Oh those eyes, those are something else!” She said as she continued to stare into them.

  She quickly responded and said she was more than happy to go out with him tonight. Then she picked up her phone and called Jen. “I have a date tonight, and he’s dashing!” Sara said as Jen answered the phone.

  “Oh do you, is he alien? Can you tell what does he look like?” Jen asked quickly.

  “He has short black hair, and the only way you can really tell he is alien is by his extra ear lobe. Oh and his eyes are amazing. I have a picture I’ll send you a copy of it. Hold on a second.” Sara said. She sent the picture to Jen and waited for her friend to make a comment.

  “Oh wow, he’s really nice looking.” Jen said. “So when is your date, what time? What are you going to do?” She asked Sara.

  “It is at 8 pm and I am not sure what we will do. He’ll pick me up and I’ll see, I guess!” Sara said.

  “I expect details later tonight, or tomorrow, if it goes really good!” Jen laughed loudly.

  “I don’t want to seem cheap, so I’ll let you know the details tonight.” Sara said. She had never slept with any man on a first date. Maybe that was why she didn’t often have a second date lately. These guys all had one thing on their minds, and that was sex. Sara on the other hand would like to get to know the guy first. She hoped that Drex was different. She just realized she hadn’t told Jen the name of her date, so she sent a quick message to update her.

  “Oh I was just so excited about the date! Well you and Drex have fun tonight!” Jen sent a voice message back to Sara.

  The day seemed to fly by and she sat and waited for Drex to show up. The clock was right at 7:45, she had fifteen minutes and her nerves were worked up. Sara considered taking a nip of vodka to help curve her nerves. She picked up the bottle and poured a shot, and then added in a little extra. As the liquid ran down her throat she felt the burn of the alcohol. “Oh better.” She sighed as her nerves relaxed a little bit.

  No more than 10 minutes later her doorbell rang. Sara went to the door and opened it. “Hello.” She said, and looked up to his face. He was a bit over a foot taller than her.

  “Hi, I’m Drex. It’s nice to meet you Sara. I bought you this; I hope it doesn’t seem inappropriate.” He said and handed her a bottle of Gray Goose Vodka.

  “Oh I love this stuff! Thank you, no I don’t think it’s inappropriate at all. Would you like a drink before we go?” She asked him.

  “Well I really shouldn’t but maybe just a half a shot. I can hold my liquor. But your society is pretty strict on drinking and driving. I wouldn’t want to get into trouble on our first date!” He laughed.

  She shivered in excitement at the sound of his laugh, it was deep and hearty. “I know that wouldn’t be a good thing.” She said and poured them both a drink. She added a bit extra into hers to make up for his smaller portion.

  Sara felt her head swoon from the drink. “Oh wow.” She grabbed her head quickly.

  “Are you okay?” Drex grabbed her arm to hold her steady.

  “Yeah I guess I drank a bit too quickly. I’m sorry I’m kind of nervous about this date and making the right first impression.” Sara admitted.

  “Don’t be nervous. I can tell I like you a lot already. You are beautiful and funny!” Drex commented.

  Sara looked down to the ground and turned bright red. “Thanks.” She finally said.

  She had to admit she felt an immediate connection to Drex as soon as he had walked into her door. Now when he had touched her a thrill of heat had run through her body. Sara knew that it was dangerous to open herself so quickly to him, but it simply felt right.

  “I thought we could go out to that new French restaurant tonight. That is if you are interested in it he said.

  “Oh that sounds good, but isn’t it really expensive?” Sara asked.

  “No cost is too much for my possibly future wife!” He said, indicating to her his seriousness.

  Sara didn’t know what to say, so instead she just smiled. Sure she liked him and all, but already committing to a marriage, she wasn’t quite sure of that. There was a part of her that was also very excited about the thought of Drex and her being married!

  “Come on let’s go!” Drex helped her up off the sofa.

  His touch was invigorating to her. Sara shivered the excitement from his touch making her warm all over once again. Drex looked down and smiled down at her.

  He opened the car door for her and went around getting in on the other side.

  Chapter 3

  Sara looked out of the corner of her eye at him as they drove to eat. He turned and smiled at her.

  “So tell me what you do Drex?” She finally asked she had wanted to simply stare at him and not talk. But found the silence a bit more daunting than expected. With the silence she had begun to picture his body naked, and that lead to her wanting to hope over on him. So instead of making a fool out of herself, she asked him the question.

  “I’m actually a Major in the Mozohon Army. That’s my world by the way.” He told her.

  “Oh wow a Major, that’s funny since the site I found you on is Alien Majors!” Sara laughed.

  “It’s a place where various alien warriors can go to find their mates. A lot of our worlds are at war, and that leaves very little choices for mates. Not only that but sometimes it is nice to get away from it all and just escape.” Drex explained.

  “So if you’re at war, how do you get away? How far is your planet? How do you get to Earth?” Sara asked.

  “Well we do have teleporter’s on our ships. It takes me all of 2 minutes to get to Earth from where we are located. Even though we consider it war, it’s not the same way as you consider war. It is a way of saying that we are under constant threat of attack. But in all reality our planet has not been attacked in about 3 years now.” Drex explained.

  “Oh wow that’s nice to know, I would hate to think you would leave one day and not come back.” Sara said, and then turned red. “Well you know if we are to get to know each other, it is best that you not die.”

  “We will marry. I’ve decided that you are the perfect choice for me.” Drex stated.

  “I like you Drex, but I would like to get to know you a bit better before I make that sort of commitment to you.” Sara said.

  “That’s not part of the contract. Once you agree to the date, it is settled, if I like you I get you as my bride.” He said. “Did you not read the contra
ct fully?” Drex asked.

  Sara looked over at him. “Well honestly no, we never read the fine print of contracts, well most people don’t.” She admitted.

  “I’m sorry but I like you a lot. If you say no, well it really doesn’t matter; you wouldn’t say no if you had read the fine print.” He said.

  “Why, what does it say?” Sara asked.

  “No I’m not going to tell you, you have to read it. You won’t believe me if I tell you.” Drex said.

  “Well it’s on my phone; I’ll just pull up my email. What section is it in?” Sara asked.

  “I don’t remember the specific section, but it’s where they are talking about your rebate. Read that part, the really small area.” Drex stated.

  Sara pulled up the contract on her email and made it larger. There were several things in the contract she wished she had seen before. But the part he was talking about was quite scary.

  The signee agrees that if they don’t like their match, but their match likes them, they forfeit all previous rights. Their match has the right to marriage, and the signee will be married, or executed.

  “What does it say if I don’t marry you I could be executed?” Sara looked at Drex appalled.

  “No not could be executed, but will be executed. There is no way out but marriage or death.” Drex stated.

  She sat there stunned at the contract she had so willingly signed the night before. “Wow, for once in my life I wish I would have read the fine print.” Sara said.

  “This is one of the main reasons most of the matches for this company come from Earth. I’ll be honest with you I don’t really like the policy, but they did match me up with you. It could be a lot worse; there are some races that will kill you even if they don’t like you. As I said our races are often at threat of becoming extinct without the right mate.” Drex said.

  “So are you just looking for baby ovens?” Sara scoffed.

  “Not me, I can’t answer for anyone else though, they might well be. I do know a few other military men who’ve used this service. They didn’t find love, but their wives are always pregnant. So let me ask you the same question back, are they just using them for new life, most likely.” Drex said. “I on the other hand wanted to find a connection. I want more out of my life then just kids. Sure I would like a couple of them. But honestly Sara, we won’t repopulate my planet, just the two of us. I would rather have a mate who wants to be a part of my life. But I also have to tell you something else about me.” Drex stopped for a minute.