by Tabor Evans
Asa Colton held up his hand. "We ain't gonna do nothing in this here kitchen. You let that scattergun get loose in here, and me and you and everybody else will have Rebecca down on us. You just set yourself back down in that chair."
Mark put the shotgun down and said insistently, "Hell, Daddy, that fancy man from over at Russellville came over here and just put his hands on Sally and you had him taken out in the woods and shot. This son of a bitch was in bed with her, both of them nekkid."
Asa turned to Longarm. "That right, son?"
Longarm was halfway curious as to why the old man didn't ask Sally. He wasn't going to admit to anything, especially when it related to a lady's honor. These people didn't seem to understand that. "I'm going to tell you the same thing as before, Mr. Colton, and that is that I've got nothing to say on the matter other than I don't think it's very hospitable for someone to break into somebody's sleeping quarters with a shotgun at full cock."
From down the table, Mark shouted, "That's a damned lie. I never had that gun cocked, and you know it, but you damned sure had your revolver cocked under the covers because I heard it."
Longarm looked coolly down the table at Mark. "You don't know what I had under those covers, and you don't know whether it was cocked or not. Just sit down, little boy, and shut up before I come down there and fix it so you don't eat so good tomorrow."
Mark sputtered, he was so angry. He pointed his finger at Longarm. He said, "Listen to him, Daddy. Now he's insulting your very own sons."
A smile came over Asa's face. He said, "Sons? I ain't heard him say a word about John. Seems to me he was talking to you."
It was at that moment that Sally chose to speak up. She said, "Daddy ..." She reached out and tugged at his nightshirt sleeve. "Daddy, Mark ain't got nothing to do with this." She nodded her head at Longarm. "I choose this one. I want this one."
The old man looked at her for a moment and then his gaze came slowly back to Longarm. He said, "Him?"
"Yes, Daddy. He's the best-lookin' thing I've ever seen."
Mark sent up a howl, but Asa Colton raised his hand. He said, "Shut up, Mark, for the last time."
Then he turned back to Longarm and sat intently as if he was looking for something that Sally was seeing that he wasn't. He said, "You want to marry this one?"
"Yes."
Longarm felt a hollow feeling inside. A flame of fear rose inside him as sharply as he had ever felt. He said, "Marry? When did we ever start talking about marrying?"
The old man said slowly, looking at Longarm, "Well, son, I don't know how it is where you come from, but when a stranger comes in and goes to beddin' down with a man's daughter, there'd better be a marriage, or there's gonna be a funeral. You understand what I mean by all that?"
Longarm swallowed. For once, he was totally at a loss for words. He just stared at the old man and then at Sally.
Asa Colton said, "Now, daughter, you sure? Marrying is not the same as bundling. You can bundle and then not be there the next day, but you marry, you've got to be there the next day. You want to wash his shirts and fix his meals and have his babies for the rest of your life? That's what marrying means, daughter."
She said stubbornly, "I've seen a bunch of them, and he's the first one I wanted. Daddy, I choose him. I told him the first time I got my hands on him that I chose him."
Longarm could remember her saying that before. He could also remember wondering exactly what she meant by it. Now he knew. It gave him a deep, sinking feeling inside.
The old man scratched his head. "Well, it looks like we're gonna have a weddin'." He looked down the table at John. He said, "Son, how long will it take to get a preacher here?"
John shrugged. "I can send a man later on in the day, but it kind of depends on whether or not you want the rest of the kinfolk to get here. You know, we've got this big shipment, and we ain't got but a couple more days before that train's due at the siding."
Asa nodded. He looked at Sally. He said, "Well, can you wait three days, girl?"
Sally said, looking a little unhappy, "I can wait if we can bundle."
Asa shook his head. He said, "No, if y'all are betrothed, then there can't be no more bundlin' until the preacher says the words over you. No, ma'am, I can't have that."
Longarm felt like a man in a deep, dark prison seeing the first glimmer of light. He said, "That's only fitting, Sally. You've got to do these things right, the way your daddy says. Yes sir, I give you my word, Mr. Colton. We won't do no more bundling until after the wedding."
Colton nodded slowly. He said, "Well, son, I knowed from the first time I laid my eyes on you that you were a gentleman and that you had some good blood in you. I reckon I'll trust my daughter to you."
A thought struck Longarm. "You realize, Mr. Colton, that I live in Arizona and that your daughter will have to go with me?"
He felt certain that the idea would cast a serious pause over the idea of marriage. But Mr. Colton said, "It's only fittin'. In the Bible, it says that a woman's supposed to follow her man. If you're a-takin' that whiskey back to Arizona, I reckon that Sally'll be goin' with ya after the words get said."
Longarm said, "But are we going to get that whiskey loaded and ready to go before the wedding?"
John said, "I don't see why we don't have the wedding right then. They can get married and get on the train right there."
Longarm, desperate for a way out, said, "But, Mr. Colton, I won't have the money. What if Frank Carson doesn't get back here on time with the money?"
Mr. Colton snorted. He said, "Son, you'll be family then. It won't make no difference about the money."
It had to make a difference about the money. Money had to change hands. Longarm said, "Oh, no, sir. I've got to pay for that whiskey. That deal was struck before the marriage. No, sir. I cannot take your daughter's hand in marriage and twenty-five hundred dollars' worth of whiskey at the same time. No, sir, I can't do that."
John said, "Why don't you let it be a wedding present from the whole family? That wouldn't be too much."
The old man looked at Longarm. He said, "There. That's a bargain for you. You get a pretty little girl and two thousand gallons of whiskey. A man can't get a better deal than that, can he?"
Longarm could feel his heart sink as he sought for a way out. No man with a lick of sense would turn down such an offer. He said, "Mr. Colton, I've got a sense of honor about these things, sir. A business deal is a business deal."
The old man shrugged his shoulders. He said, "Aw, shucks. We ain't got to worry about it right now. Hell, it's three o'clock in the morning, and here we are a-sittin' and talkin' about a weddin' and whiskey and all that sort of thing and there ain't no call for it. Mark, you put that damned shotgun up, and if you ever point it at your sister's betrothed again, it's liable to be you gets taken out into the woods and laid bare with a pissellum club, so you just keep that temper of yours down. I'm the one watches out for my children, not you."
Then he turned to Longarm and put out his hand. He said, "I'm mighty obliged to have you for a son-in-law. You'll make a good one."
Longarm looked over at Sally. She was smiling contentedly. She said, whispering to him, "I can wait, but it's going to be hard."
Longarm just nodded weakly. There was not another word he could say.
They all stood up. The old man said, looking first at Sally and then at Longarm, "Remember now, no bundlin'. We'll get this whiskey shipped, then get y'all married, and then y'all can go on out to Arizona. How does that sound?"
Sally was radiant. She said, "Oh, Daddy. Oh, Daddy. I'm just thrilled."
Longarm said, "Sounds just fine to me."
"Then let's get on to bed. There's been enough of this foolishness."
Longarm went on back to the cabin and sat down in front of the bottle of whiskey and poured half a glassful and didn't even bother with the water. Instead, he took a straight jolt and let it burn all the way to his stomach and then let it extend all the way from his stomach down
his legs and back to his scrotum. He could feel his privates shrivel and his ears burn, such was the power of the whiskey. He thought out loud, "I am in some serious kind of a trap. This is all Billy Vail's doing, and he is probably dying laughing right now. Marrying? Hell, I'll shoot my way out of here first. Marrying? She's as pretty a girl as I've ever seen, but I ain't marrying her."
He spent the rest of the night trying to unscramble the mess in his mind, but it was just one of those kinds of knots that wouldn't come unwound. Billy Vail had warned him to stay out of the backwoods of the Ozarks. There was danger in these mountains. There were ambushes everywhere. Billy hadn't told him what kind of danger there was and what kind of ambush to look out for. He'd walked straight into one, and it was just about as soft and sweet and juicy an ambush as he'd ever walked into. A man could get healed from a bullet wound, but he didn't reckon he'd ever recover from a marriage. And the hell of it was, now that the matter was out in the open and declared, he wasn't even allowed to have any more pie. That was a hell of an arrangement. A man got invited into the bakery and then told he couldn't have any more pie until such time as certain formalities were gone through. As far as Longarm was concerned, pie was pie, and the saying of words or whatever it was that they did, didn't change the flavor of the pie. Finally, in disgust, he toasted the sun's arrival with some more of the vile-tasting raw whiskey.
It was an awkward day. He went in to breakfast. Sally was there, letting off a kind of glow. She didn't speak to Longarm, but she kept her eyes steady on him, so strong and steady that it almost made his hands tremble as he tried to eat his eggs and grits and bacon. Somehow, several more women had managed to squeeze in at the breakfast table, and they seemed to be well up on all the details. From time to time, one would whisper to another and then they would all giggle and stare. He could feel himself redden whenever they did. John was cordial and a cousin named Samson that Longarm had never met but only nodded to was friendly. Only Mark had a glower on his face. The old man, as if Longarm were already part of the family, began talking about the making of whiskey as if Longarm were familiar with every step and could appreciate the fine art they were practicing.
Asa said, "Now, I don't hold much with morning drinking, but right afterwards we get through with this breakfast, I want you to come into my little office and I want you to drink some of this whiskey that we've had setting and aging for four years. I bet you're gonna get a surprise."
Longarm gave him a wan smile. He said, "Is this the kind of conversation that new sons-in-law have with their new daddies-in-law-to-be?"
Asa made a wheezing dry sound that Longarm took to be laughter. He said, "Well, now, young fellow. I can see that you're a young fellow that knows his way around the family. Yes sir, we might speak about how your prospects are going to be looking for you. I want to make sure that my little girl is well provided for."
Longarm said, "I've been able to take care of myself for all this time."
Rebecca, the mistress of the kitchen, suddenly spoke up. She said, "Daddy, maybe Mr. Long has some kinfolk that would like to come to the wedding. Wouldn't that be fittin' that we should try and get word to them?"
Longarm interrupted hastily. He said, "Oh, I haven't got no kin, just a couple of brothers, and they're back in Arizona. They couldn't get here in any time. No sir, I'm not as big on family as y'all are."
John called from down the table. "Sally will fix that! Ha!
Longarm gave him a weak smile. He said, "Oh, yes sir, that's what I'm really looking forward to is having kiddies. I always was a man who wanted children."
Rebecca said, "It will change your life, Mr. Long."
With a weak feeling in his stomach, Longarm said, "I don't doubt that."
The whiskey was surprisingly good. The old man was seated at a battered wooden desk in a little room not much bigger than a closet. He had several ledger books lying open in front of him, and Longarm was amazed to see the neat and precise columns of figures showing the gallons they had produced and the amounts they had received in return. Some of the figures stunned him. He had reckoned the family he was supposed to be marrying into was a lot better off than many of the people living in fine homes in big cities, but this little old man sitting in front of him in his overalls had steadily and quietly amassed a fortune. He said to Longarm, "Now, I ain't expecting you to take much interest in this here money because this here money was earned before you came in, but you ought to know that when I slip off this mortal coil, Sally will come into some little money. It might come in handy to her husband in his business."
Longarm said, "Mr. Colton, you're embarrassing me, sir. As far as I am concerned, Sally is a prize even if she didn't have a dress on her back. I wouldn't be a man who would be studying about her fetching money along with her."
Asa nodded. "I figured you were that kind of fellow. Well, what do you think of that there whiskey?"
Longarm held his glass up to the light. It was a mild amber color. It was still stronger and had a more whiskey taste than he was used to--by no stretch of the imagination could he call it smooth--but it was whiskey that had been aged and had taken on the color of the wood barrels it had been aged in.
He said, "Mr. Colton, you say this whiskey has only been laying down for four or five years?"
"That's a fact, young man."
Longarm shook his head and took another sip. He said, "Well, sir, I've got to tell you this here is prime drinking whiskey. This here is real sipping whiskey."
The old man looked down modestly. He said, "Well, we take pleasure and pride in what we give a man to drink. He buys his whiskey from us, and we intend that he doesn't get shorted. Of course, you understand that we only sell this stuff around here to our kinfolk and friends. That other stuff that we ship off, well, we don't know what them folks do with it, but it's their business. Once they've paid for it, it's their whiskey. We like to think that, locally, we put out some pretty good whiskey."
"I don't think you just have to think that, sir. I think you can pretty well be certain of it. It still packs a good wallop, I will say that, though."
Asa Colton nodded. "Folks around here like it that way. Now, you take your blended and bonded whiskeys that are eighty and ninety or one hundred proof, they're too mild for the folks around here. They don't feel they're getting their money's worth unless that first sip damn near knocks their tongue sideways in their mouth. Four drinks ought to bring a full-grown man into a cane-bottom chair. If it doesn't do it, then we ain't done our job."
Longarm smiled. He said, "Well, four big drinks of this and I reckon I'd want more under me than a cane-bottom chair. I reckon I'd want one made out of cement or something else as steady."
After an appropriate time of sitting around admiring the aged whiskey, Asa Colton got around to Longarm's prospects. Longarm had been expecting it, so he invented a two hundred thousand acre ranch near Tucson, Arizona, that was stocked with some cattle and some goats. He said, "But you must understand, Mr. Colton, I'm not much in the cattle business anymore and the timber business has about played out. There's too much timber out in California that's closer, and shipping costs were eating us alive cutting timber up in northern Arizona. That's what's brought me down here. I plan to be in the whiskey business. I do own a saloon in Tucson, and I plan to open several others. I've got ample funds to take care of your daughter. I reckon you'll understand if I don't give you an exact figure, but I've got the money to buy a lot of whiskey and to get it bottled properly."
Mr. Colton looked concerned. He said, "Now, son, I do want you to be concerned about that. You know there is a federal law about whiskey stamps. I want you to be right careful about them Treasury agents. We've got a couple here that we've turned into pets, but you might not have any out there that will turn out like that."
Longarm pulled a face. He said, "Aw, Mr. Colton, I ain't never seen a federal agent in that part of the country. It's rough country, and a federal man wouldn't dare show his face around there. They're all too scare
d, a bunch of cowards, anyway."
"Well, I don't think much of these two supposed to be putting us in jail, either." He gave a cackle.
Longarm said, "But I appreciate the advice, sir. And you can depend on me. I am going to be right careful about how I handle any Treasury agents I run into."
He walked back to his cabin feeling about four times the hypocrite, but he didn't see what else he could do. He had to play this string out and see if he couldn't make matters come out right in the end. He had resolved that, if he could, he would avoid bringing any trouble to the Coltons. The Treasury agents were another matter. He was going to have to work around it somehow, and he didn't know how, to where he could have Mr. Colton summon the two men. That's when he would show his hand. He was going to arrest them on the spot and take them back to Denver, Colorado, and shove them in Billy Vail's face and say, "Look, here the crooks are. You sent me down there into a bear trap. Now I've brought you the bear."
He really didn't feel like seeing anyone that day. He was embarrassed about the whole matter, and he certainly didn't want to see Sally and he certainly didn't want to see the old man and have to tell him more lies. The hell of it was, he had come to like the family, with the exception of Mark. They were good folks. They might not be as well-dressed or as well-mannered and their eyes might be set a little too close on their face, but they weren't harmful and they weren't vicious and he really didn't believe that they were criminals. When he pursued a man, he pursued that outlaw with a vengeance and with conviction that whatever he had to do to bring an end to that man's career of harming others was right and just. He didn't feel that way about the Coltons. He didn't know exactly how he was going to do it, but he was going to try to cut the bad ones out of the herd and leave the rest.
He got through the rest of the day by staying in the cabin and just showing up for meals. He spoke very little and kept his attention on his food. Sally kept her eyes on him and the old man made friendly conversation. It was a very embarrassing time. After lunch, John had suggested that he and Longarm go out and kick up some quail. "We could get a couple of dozen for supper. You ain't had good eating until you've seen how Rebecca stews them quail with rice. You talk about some good eating."