by Erin Hunter
“Jaypaw?”
His pelt stood on end, and he scanned the murky forest up ahead. Gradually he made out a figure that seemed familiar.
The broad shoulders and wide muzzle reminded him of his father, Brambleclaw.
“Jaypaw!” the voice called again.
A second figure loomed from the shadows and stood beside the first. Outlined against the fog, they shared the same strong shoulders and broad muzzle.
“Yes?” Jaypaw mewed, his voice sounding tiny among the trees.
The two cats approached him and stopped, their tabby pelts as dark as the shadows beyond the trees.
“Welcome. Don’t be afraid. We are kin,” the larger cat meowed. “I am Tigerstar, your father’s father, and this is his brother, Hawkfrost.”
Jaypaw stared at the cats in astonishment. He had heard nursery stories about Tigerstar and the terrible things he had done. What were they doing here, and why had they come to him?
“It is good to meet you at last,” Tigerstar meowed, his eyes glittering.
“Brambleclaw is blessed to have three fine kits,” Hawkfrost added.
“We watched you in battle earlier,” Tigerstar purred. “I am
glad to see you have inherited your father’s skill.”
Hawkfrost glanced at his father. “And yours, Tigerstar,” he meowed.
Jaypaw narrowed his eyes. Why were they complimenting him when they must know he couldn’t fight as well as he wanted to?
As though reading his thoughts, Tigerstar went on, “We can teach you how to improve your skills if you like,” he offered, his voice smooth as honey.
Jaypaw searched the massive tom’s gaze, hunting out the sentiment that lay behind his words. To his surprise he found murky darkness where he would normally have sensed feeling and thoughts. He shifted his paws uneasily. “I-I’m not sure I want to become a warrior,” he confessed.
“How can any kin of mine say such a thing?” Tigerstar snorted. “It is bad enough that I have to watch Mothwing wasting her talents as a medicine cat.” His whiskers twitched.
“At least Hollypaw is finally starting to realize that her destiny does not lie in pandering to the weak and the sick.”
“Hollypaw?” Jaypaw echoed. What did Tigerstar know about his sister’s destiny?
“Why don’t you let us teach you some fighting moves?”
Hawkfrost urged. “Once you see how easy they are for you, you’ll realize that you were born to lead your Clanmates in battle, not spend all your time in the camp with herbs and poultices.”
Jaypaw flicked his tail. Brightheart hadn’t taught him anything about fighting. She obviously thought it was a waste of
time training a blind cat. He might have done better in the battle against ShadowClan if she’d shown him some moves.
Perhaps these two cats really could help him.
A swish in the ferns far behind him made Jaypaw glance over his shoulder.
“Who’s there?” Tigerstar called.
“I have come to fetch Jaypaw back where he belongs.”
Jaypaw recognized the mew at once and, as the cat emerged through the mist, he recognized the pretty tortoiseshell pelt as well. “Spottedleaf!” he mewed.
Spottedleaf nodded but did not take her eyes off Tigerstar and Hawkfrost.
“Do you know this cat?” Tigerstar asked Jaypaw.
“She helped me when I fell over the cliff,” Jaypaw explained.
“You shouldn’t have wandered this far, Jaypaw,” Spottedleaf warned him.
“Nor should you.” Tigerstar glared at the medicine cat.
“How did you cross the border?”
“I come with the permission of StarClan,” Spottedleaf replied, meeting his gaze with a challenging stare.
“Did they give Jaypaw permission too?” Tigerstar inquired, tipping his head to one side.
Spottedleaf did not answer. Instead she looked at Jaypaw.
“Come back with me,” she ordered.
“What about Tigerstar and Hawkfrost? Can they come too?”
“They have chosen their own path,” Spottedleaf replied.
She turned back and waited for Jaypaw to follow.
But Jaypaw hesitated. Tigerstar and Hawkfrost had offered to give him what he wanted most.
“Jaypaw!” Spottedleaf called more urgently.
He had to choose between the cat he knew—the cat he instinctively trusted—and those he didn’t. He turned and followed Spottedleaf.
As she led him back through the mist, he glanced over his shoulder. Tigerstar’s eyes blazed like fire even after his pelt had been swallowed by the gloom.
Spottedleaf broke into a run, and Jaypaw raced after her.
His paws carried him lightly through the shadowy forest until the trees became leafier, their branches dipping once more to brush the undergrowth. Fern tips caressed his spine, and a feeling of freedom and safety enfolded him once more.
Spottedleaf drew to a halt. “You must not go there again,”
she told him.
“Why not?” Jaypaw asked.
“Tell me why you came to share with StarClan,” Spottedleaf prompted.
Resentment jabbed Jaypaw’s belly. If she wasn’t going to answer his questions, he wasn’t going to answer hers. “I came because I could,” he answered huffily.
Spottedleaf narrowed her eyes. “You came to find out where your true destiny lies, didn’t you?”
Jaypaw blinked. “How did you know?”
“How did you find your way to the Moonpool when you are blind?” she countered.
“Are you going to answer all my questions with more questions?”
Spottedleaf sighed. “Sorry,” she mewed. “But I cannot tell you more than you are ready to know.”
“I’m ready to know everything!” Jaypaw insisted. “Why does StarClan make it so hard to get answers?”
“Because they fear for you,” Spottedleaf answered, her eyes darkening.
Jaypaw snorted. Even StarClan were treating him like a helpless kit! “Tigerstar and Hawkfrost don’t seem worried about me,” he snapped. “They think I’m destined to be a warrior!”
“Do you trust them?”
Jaypaw remembered the impenetrable mist that had hidden the true feelings of the two warriors. “I guess not,” he mewed hesitantly.
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes,” he murmured. He could sense something else inside her, affection tinged with sorrow. Concentrating hard, he tracked the feeling, following it like a shimmering stream: a flame-colored cat, green eyes clouded with grief . . . it was Firestar! This StarClan cat was in love with the ThunderClan leader! But how could that be? Spottedleaf had left the forest long ago, and Firestar had another mate. Jaypaw searched further. There was more, he knew, some knowledge obscured by shadows, something he could not name. . . .
“You have a remarkable gift,” she mewed. Her eyes were wary, as though she’d felt him probing her mind. “You can see
what no other cat sees. You can go where even StarClan cannot. You must use this power for the good of your Clan.”
“But how?” Jaypaw asked.
“You must become a medicine cat,” Spottedleaf meowed.
No!
He didn’t want to hear that. He wanted to believe Tigerstar and Hawkfrost.
“I want to be a warrior!”
“But you have a gift!”
“Seeing in dreams? That’s not a gift. The rest of the Clan see all the time!”
“But they don’t see what you do. They can’t go where you go.”
“So I can visit StarClan! Big deal!”
“It is a big deal!” Spottedleaf hissed.
“But where does it get me?” Jaypaw argued. “The rest of my Clan think I’m useless.”
“They don’t know the power that you have.”
“Power?” Jaypaw echoed.
Spottedleaf was trembling now. “Jaypaw, you have power enough to shape the destiny of your entire Clan.”
&
nbsp; Jaypaw stared at her. “But I want to be a warrior!”
“Accept your destiny!”
“It’s not fair!”
“I know.” The medicine cat’s voice suddenly grew soft. She brushed his muzzle with her tail, silencing him. Jaypaw felt weariness spread through his limbs, dragging him toward sleep. “Your gift is not a burden,” she whispered. “But you
must be brave, because it has more power than the sharpest claw. . . .”
Jaypaw tried to fight the sleepiness. There were still questions he wanted answered. “No,” he complained weakly as his legs buckled beneath him.
Jaypaw opened his eyes. The world was black once more, and his body ached with cold. He was lying beside the Moonpool. Slowly he got to his paws and stretched. The image of StarClan’s hunting grounds was still fresh in his mind as he followed the path out of the hollow.
More power than the sharpest claw . . .
When he reached the top, Jaypaw glanced over his shoulder.
The hollow was filled with starlight—he knew it as surely as if he could see it. The Moonpool was radiant beneath the brilliant light, and every rock and stone shone like crystal.
The whispering that had followed him down to the Moonpool rose again until the voices swirled around him like a relentless wind.
Accept your destiny, Jaypaw.
And in that instant, he realized that however many moons he searched, and however far he ran, he would never escape what he had known all along.
Chapter 17
Hollypaw woke up long before dawn. The walls of the medicine den glistened with frost. She had tossed and turned for most of the night, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. All she could think of was how exciting the battle with ShadowClan had been, and how impossible her apprentice duties had seemed afterward, when she’d been faced with so many injured warriors. Why did healing seem to involve inflicting more suffering first?
She stretched and crept out of her nest. Her body ached, but the bruises and scratches had been worth it to see the ShadowClan warriors fleeing across the border like terrified rats. She glanced at Leafpool, who was still asleep. The medicine cat’s breath billowed in the freezing air. Careful not to disturb her, Hollypaw slipped out of the den. The brambles at the entrance were stiff with ice, and crackled as she nosed her way out.
The clearing was empty. Even the forest was silent, as though the cold had frozen every leaf, and the dawn sky glowed pink behind the frost-whitened branches at the top of the hollow. She looked hopefully toward the fresh-kill pile.
It was empty. The sudden cold had already driven most of the prey deep into their burrows, and the cats would have to wait until hunger drew them out into the open once more.
Perhaps she could find something outside the camp.
Ferncloud and her kits would need food once the sun rose.
She padded across the clearing and out through the thorn barrier.
Brook paced outside the entrance, her thick fur sparkling with frost. She jerked her head around when she heard Hollypaw’s pawsteps.
“You’re awake early.”
“I couldn’t sleep.” Hollypaw yawned. “Has the dawn patrol left yet?”
“Not yet.”
“I thought I could find some prey for Ferncloud,” Hollypaw explained.
Brook gazed at her curiously. “That’s kind, but won’t Leafpool need you this morning?”
Hollypaw sighed.
“Such a troubled sigh for one so young,” Brook meowed, her gray eyes softening with concern.
“Leafpool would probably get on better without me,”
Hollypaw muttered.
“Surely not,” Brook meowed. “She couldn’t have managed to treat everyone without your help yesterday.”
“She almost had to,” Hollypaw confessed. “I was so excited after the battle, I completely forgot that I was a medicine cat apprentice. And then when I tried to help, it was awful. I had
to make my Clanmates swallow foul-tasting leaves. And the balms seemed only to make the wounds sting more. It didn’t feel like I was helping at all.” She sat down miserably. “I thought that I could serve my Clanmates best as a medicine cat. That’s why I asked to be Leafpool’s apprentice. She’s so important to the Clan.”
“You want to be important?” Brook queried.
Hollypaw thought for a moment. It was more complicated than that. “Everyone respects Leafpool and listens to what she says.”
“But is being listened to and respected the same as serving your Clan?”
Hollypaw glanced up at the mountain cat. Brook’s eyes were round with sympathy. “I guess not,” she mewed. “I just thought it would be the best way to help the Clan.”
“And now you think differently?”
“I don’t think I can help the Clan at all as a medicine cat,”
Hollypaw mewed quietly. “I can’t remember the names of the herbs. I feel more excited about fighting ShadowClan than fighting sickness. And I’d rather hunt for mice than borage or tansy.” Frustration welled inside her. “It’s all gone wrong! No cat will ever respect me now.”
Brook ran her the tip of her tail down Hollypaw’s back.
“Cats win respect from their Clanmates by being loyal and brave, not holding important positions,” she meowed. “Did you think Graystripe less important than Brambleclaw when you fought beside him yesterday? Or Lionpaw less important than Leafpool when he helped you drive off that ShadowClan tom?”
Hollypaw shook her head.
“It is hard for someone so young to make such big choices,” the mountain cat went on. “When I was with the Tribe of Rushing Water, there were no such choices. All duties were divided into hunting or guarding. Prey-hunters like me were thin and lithe; guards were stocky and strong.
The decision was made from birth which duty a cat would perform best.”
Hollypaw was shocked. “You couldn’t choose at all?”
“It wasn’t impossible for a cave-guard to be a prey-hunter or a prey-hunter to be a cave-guard, but generally it was a good way to make sure each cat made the best use of the strengths they were born with.”
“I wasn’t born with a head for herbs.” Hollypaw sighed.
“Think of your strengths, not your weaknesses,” Brook urged her. “As a Clan cat, you have the freedom to shape your own destiny, which Tribe cats never have. Use that freedom wisely.”
Hollypaw remembered her battle training with Cinderpaw. Every move had come so naturally. Even Cloudtail had been impressed. And in the battle she had known instinctively what she was doing when she had knocked that ShadowClan warrior’s paws from under him. “I can fight,”
she mewed, flexing her claws.
“You have warrior strengths,” Brook agreed. “What better way to serve your Clan than by being the best warrior you can?”
Hollypaw’s heart felt lighter than it had for days.
“Don’t forget, though, you will have to tell Leafpool.”
Hollypaw sagged a little. “Of course.” She looked down at her paws. “She’ll think I’m letting her down.”
“Leafpool is wise enough to see where your gifts lie,”
Brook meowed. “She will only think you courageous for speaking up now, rather than struggling on out of pride or stubbornness.”
“Do you think so?”
“You will be doing what is best for your Clan. Leafpool will know that.”
The sound of pawsteps inside the thorn barrier warned that the dawn patrol was preparing to leave. Hollypaw blinked gratefully at Brook. “Thank you,” she whispered.
Brook dipped her head and turned back to watch the forest. Hollypaw ducked through the thorn barrier just in time to avoid being swept aside by Graystripe, Sandstorm, and Honeypaw as they raced out. She knew what she had to do.
She would become a regular apprentice like Lionpaw and Jaypaw, and work hard to serve her Clan as a warrior.
But first she had to tell Leafpool.
St
iffening her shoulders, Hollypaw nosed her way into the medicine den.
Leafpool was smearing honey onto a leaf. “Let’s hope this freezing weather breaks soon,” she muttered. “Longtail and Icekit both have sore throats.”
Hollypaw suddenly felt as if there were a thorn stuck in her chest. She was turning away from something she had set her heart on because she was not good enough. Sadness welled inside her. Should she be giving up so easily?
“What’s wrong, Hollypaw?” Leafpool looked up. “You look as though you’ve just lost our entire supply of poppy seeds!”
Then her face grew serious. “You haven’t, have you?”
Hollypaw shook her head. “No. But I have something very important to tell you.” She forced herself to look her mentor in the eyes. “I can’t be a medicine cat apprentice anymore,”
she mewed.
Leafpool blinked. “Why not?”
“I have to choose my destiny based on my strengths,”
Hollypaw meowed. “I’m just no good at being a medicine cat.
You must know that.”
“You are clever and hardworking. You can learn.”
“But it doesn’t feel right,” Hollypaw tried to explain. She tipped her head to one side. “Can you understand?”
“You feel like a fish swimming upstream?” Leafpool suggested.
“Exactly.” Hollypaw nodded, her heart aching. “If I change direction and swim with the current, I will swim so much faster.”
“So you want to train as a warrior instead.”
“I think it will be better for the Clan if I do.”
Leafpool’s eyes clouded with sorrow. “I feel as though I’ve let you down.”
“No!” Hollypaw felt a stab of guilt. “You’ve been patient and kind. It’s just not right for me.”
“You would have been a good medicine cat.” Leafpool flicked her tail. “But I see that you want to be the best at whatever you do.”
“I have to be, for the sake of my Clan.”
Leafpool stepped forward and brushed Hollypaw’s cheek with her muzzle. “You will make a wonderful warrior, Hollypaw,” she purred. “You have a warrior’s spirit—I have seen you being noble and loyal and brave, and now I see you sacrificing your ambition for the good of the Clan.” Her eyes shone. “I couldn’t be more proud of you.”