by Harper Wylde
“Look!” Hiro cried. He tilted her head to the side so that we could see what had his attention. Ever so slowly, the wound in her head was closing. He grinned then, his eyes shining as he looked at us. “Guys, she’s a Phoenix. Do you think? Is it possible she can resurrect herself? There hasn’t been one in so long I hadn’t even thought of it.”
Shocked but hopeful glances were bouncing around between all of us while we waited, no longer speaking, simply watching. I could feel her magic seemingly growing stronger. We all pressed closer, keeping hands or arms on her at all times. Slowly, the wounds disappeared. There wasn’t even a mark to show for them. Her skin seemed to shimmer more than it had before, I realized. “Does anyone else see that?” I ground the words out as I watched. Nods and grunts of acknowledgement sounded around me but we all kept our eyes on Nix, unable to look away. She shifted slightly and Hiro cried out.
“Damn, I hate that. It always hurts like hell.” Her voice was husky as she murmured.
I saw red as her eyes opened to stare at us. “Always? You’ve regenerated before? You’ve died before? And you didn’t think it was important to tell us?” I knew I was screaming at this point but I couldn’t help myself. She leaned away from me, turning her body more tightly into Hiro and Ryder. Damien clamped a hand over my mouth, knocking me over and pinning me to the ground. Damn the asshole was strong.
Suddenly she shot upright, her hands reaching for Ryder and Hiro. “You’re hurt! Did you get shot too? You need to get to a hospital!” Her words tumbled over each other as she tugged at their clothing, trying to see what injuries they had.
“Shh. None of us are hurt. It’s your blood.” Hiro murmured softly to her, stroking his hands through her hair.
She stilled for a second, and then leaned into his fingers. “That, that actually feels really good.” She closed her eyes as if savoring the sensation.
“Nix, please. I think you need to explain.” Theo spoke up, seemingly unwilling to let go of the grasp he had on her thigh.
Twenty-Six
Nix
I sighed, stretching my body a little bit to get comfortable again. My Phoenix was cooing in my head. It was odd to have her there when I came back. In fact, it was odd to have her there during rebirth.
When my spirit had ripped away from my body this time, my vision in that place between life and death had been unclear. All I had felt was pain, like I was made of it. I wasn’t sure how long it took before my head cleared and my eyes were able to focus on the scene below me. All the guys, all five of them, had surrounded me. I had seen the anguish on their faces and heard it in their voices. They had pulled my body out of danger and protected me, tried to heal me, showed up for me, stayed with me. I had never died in front of anyone who had cared before and the experience had changed me, a sense of peace settling deep into my soul. I felt my Phoenix wrap her wings around me, coalescing with me and giving me her power, just like I knew she had done each time I had died in the past. All of those times I had felt alone, she had always been there in the background.
Bringing myself back to the present, I knew they were right. I couldn’t get away with shrugging this off. At the same time, I wasn’t ready to divulge everything either. Ripping open emotional wounds would be nearly as painful as healing from those gunshots. There was only so much they could expect me to do at one time. Trust and truth were earned through time. I owed them some truth and I had begun to trust them, but it wasn’t enough to bare my soul completely.
Taking a shaky breath, I looked toward the treelines that surrounded the trail on both sides. “Are we… Are we safe?” I asked, the realization that I had been shot wasn’t lost on me.
“We are, Nix. The shooter’s gone.” Theo was the one to answer me, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck as he eyed the other guys. There was something they weren’t telling me, but I could only deal with one thing at a time. If we were safe, I needed to give them some answers. Plus, I was so exhausted from the re-birth that I couldn’t move if I wanted to.
“Growing up for me, it wasn’t easy.” I studied the ground, tightening my jacket around myself and ignoring the still tacky blood that coated me. “I didn’t have a happy childhood. My mother died when I was four. I don’t remember much before that time. After she died, there was only Michael, my father. He would drink heavily, always blaming my mother for his bad habit. He was drunk pretty much all the time, unless he was out on a job. I’m not even sure what he did for a living.” Realizing I was rambling, I tried to get to the point. “Anyway, his anger was… “ I grimaced at the memories, “unpleasant.” I paused and swallowed before continuing, “There were times I ended up in foster care courtesy of the state. Some foster families were good. Some were worse than Michael. It was always the luck of the draw. Somehow, Michael always got me back. I knew it was always temporary, that's what got me through. I got my GED, got a job, saved every penny I had and planned my future. I counted down every single day and when the time came, I left and came here, as far away from that life as I could manage. Of course, at the time, I had no idea I was moving into shifter territory.” I finished and motioned to all of them, trying to add some levity to the sad story of my life. I had never felt like such an open book. I wasn’t sure I liked the vulnerable feeling.
“Was Michael a shifter?” Theo asked, his head cocked as he studied me.
I shook my head. “I’d never heard of shifters until I got here, unless you count books and tv shows. I went through a rebirth for the first time at ten. I’d never experienced that before either.”
“Your mother never spoke of being a shifter?” Theo’s voice was sharper this time as he questioned me.
“No.” My answer was sharp in return.
“How did she die?” God, did this guy not realize some questions were sensitive? Hiro hissed and jabbed him in the ribs.
“I don’t remember much, but I know she was attacked. I just remember being locked in a bathroom and I have flashes of memories that haunt me. Screaming, her lying on the floor as Michael led me out of a room. He never talked about it. Honestly, I’ve always wondered if he had something to do with it. I just know that she was beaten. I remember the blood.” I let the words slide out coolly as I tried to relay the memories as facts. It all happened a long time ago, I’d had time to bury the emotions.
Hiro frowned at me. “It still doesn’t make sense. If she was a phoenix, she should have undergone regeneration. Otherwise, Michael would have to be a phoenix.”
I shook my head sharply. “If Michael had any kind of powers he would have used them on me. He enjoyed pain far too much to leave any stone unturned. If my mother was a phoenix, she wouldn’t have died and left me.” My voice was tinged with bitterness as I said it, and my Phoenix hummed, trying to provide me comfort.
Damien stroked a finger down my cheek, giving me a small smile. “I guess she could have been a part-blood, or maybe she didn’t have the power of regeneration. We didn’t even think about it with you because the phoenix lore at this point is really just that, lore. We don’t know how much of it is true or what powers are innate.”
Killian scowled. “Were you adopted?”
I shrugged. “If I was, neither of them ever mentioned it. I know that’s not unusual given how young I was when my mother died. She had dark hair like me, though. As for Michael, I can’t imagine he would have kept me if I wasn’t his. I don’t know why he kept me at all.”
Hiro reached out for my hand, holding it tightly in his. Maybe it was that they had been with me through the entire rebirth, I wasn’t sure, but it felt right to have them near me. To have them touch me. My Phoenix heaved a relieved sigh. She hadn’t liked the distance I kept between others. Touch was natural for her, as necessary as the food I ate. It helped sustain her. I hadn’t realized how starved for human contact she had been until I spent time with Rini and the guys after my transformation.
I pulled away slightly, confused by my reaction. “Guys, this is really strange. It feels good to t
ouch you all.” Growls echoed around me and I shook my head rapidly. “You don’t understand. The last time I had even a casual positive touch with another person was over a year ago. I don’t handle touch well. I don’t understand why I feel good when you all touch me.”
Hiro smiled shakily at me. “It’s your Phoenix, more than likely. Phoenix, like all shifters, are social. We require touch to be at peak health. She’s been deprived of it for years being secondary to you. Now, being near people who want to touch you in ways that are appealing to her, in ways that also incite her magic, is going to be a lot for her to resist. If it gets to be too much all you need to do is tell us. We’ll back right off.” The last part was a command, aimed at the guys around me and given in an icy voice.
Damien leaned towards me, his arms outstretched. “May I?” His voice was hesitant.
I watched him for a minute, listening to my Phoenix coo at me. She wanted him to hold her, to give and take comfort from him. She knew that we were still weak, that we would be for days, and she liked that they were here to help and protect us. I nodded, slowly reaching shaking arms towards him. He grinned, pulling me off of Ryder’s lap and onto his own. His body was warm and firm as it pressed into mine.
“Are there any side effects of regenerating?” Theo asked, studying me. His hands were twitching in his lap as if he were typing. “I can see just by looking at you that you don’t have any scars. I assume that they are completely healed? What else?”
He was so intelligent that sometimes it felt hard to keep up. His brain seemed to work like the computers he loved. “Internally, I have some scars. They’re mild, but they’re there. I’ve had x-rays and things done before. You can see where the bones have mended in the past, but it looks decades old rather than fresh. I’m going to be extremely weak for the next few days. Well, I always have been in the past. I don’t know if that will change now that I’ve shifted for the first time.”
Hiro sent me a grin that was slightly shaky around the edges. “That’s not unusual, actually. It happens to all shifters who use massive amounts of energy. We need time to recover. If we shift too many times in a row or if we use extensive amounts of our powers, that kind of thing.” I nodded. That actually made a lot of sense. They weren’t immortal, or infallible. Just different.
Theo cocked his head. “Interesting. It could be because skin is considered our fastest healing organ. Other shifters have healing powers, just like Ryder here. The wounds basically heal in reverse. He can close the skin fairly easily, but the deeper stuff takes a lot more energy.”
“My skin ends up clearer, my hair thicker and shinier; overall I’m just healthier.” I said the last with a small shrug. “The changes are subtle, but they’re there. It usually takes a few rebirths before anyone can really notice anything different though.”
Killian’s voice was slow as he spoke. “A few rebirths for anyone to notice.” His voice was strained, as if he was struggling not to yell again and frighten me. “Nix, how many times have you gone through a rebirth?”
I simply stared at him, unwilling to answer his question.
“Please, Nix.” Hiro said quietly. “We’re just trying to understand. We’re still afraid. What if you’re not totally healed and something happens? What if you trip and fall on the way home? Would you stay dead that time?”
I sighed. I couldn’t resist Hiro’s sweet, gentle questions. “I’ve lost count of the number of times. I remember the first, the most recent, and some of the really bad ones. I’ve lost count.” Killian cursed, clenching his hands into tight fists. “I’ve died twice in a row before. It’s far from pleasant. Dying in such quick succession causes a great deal more pain when I regenerate, more than I normally experience. The one time it happened, I was weak for much longer than normal. I've never been shot before so I'm not sure what will differ this time.”
Damien’s voice was a grumble in his chest that vibrated against me. “Nix, I know this is a lot to ask, but I’m sure none of us feel comfortable with you going back to the dorm by yourself right now. Would you consent to staying at the house with us? Just until you’re steadier on your feet?” My Phoenix hissed at me when I went to refuse out of instinct. She wanted them to protect us. She was weak, and was worried that something else would happen.
Hiro’s eyes pleaded at me as I glanced around the circle. I knew he wouldn’t push, but the desperation in his dark eyes as he watched me was my undoing.
“Fine. But only if you have a spare room.” I muttered, still soaking in Damien’s warmth. I was afraid, but not stupid. There was no reason to put myself or Rini at risk just because my baggage rejected the idea of staying in a home full of men.
Contented sighs surrounded me and my Phoenix made a purr-like trilling noise. Damien stood easily with me still cradled in his arms. Hiro and Ryder both reached out as though to make sure he had a solid hold of me.
I took a deep breath, focusing on Damien’s collar rather than on the faces of the guys around me. “Thank you. All of you. Ryder, for trying so hard to heal me. The rest of you for staying by my side. I’ve never had that before. It’s really nice.” The words were just a murmur but I knew they heard me.
“Come on, sweetheart.” Ryder called out. “Let’s get you home. I don’t know about you but I could use a nice, hot shower.” He paused before he gave me a dirty grin, trying to get back to our normal bickering, “Of course, there are other ways we can make you wet.”
“Perv,” I muttered. I let myself relax into the rocking sensation as Damien walked with me. As we started moving, I looked over my shoulder and caught Theo talking to Hiro, pointing to the mess left in the wake of the shooting. Glancing around, Hiro extended his hand and the ground started to rumble as dirt and gravel swirled up in what looked like a tornado made of earth. My eyes were growing heavy, exhausted after the entire ordeal, but I swore I saw the ground absorb my blood as the churning dust tornado calmed and settled back over the ground. As I dozed off I realized that Hiro had covered our tracks with his powers, keeping the shifter secret. I wanted to know more, to see more, but I couldn’t pull myself back out of the oblivion that consumed me.
Twenty-Seven
Damien
“She’s ok, right?” Ryder asked as I laid Nix on the couch and tucked a pillow under her head gently. She didn’t stir, but her deep, rhythmic breathing was enough to tell me that she was alive.
“She’s breathing.” It was all I could get out. She had been shot and I hadn’t been there to protect her. She almost died, right there on that trail, and the thought made me sick to my stomach. Everything in me rebelled at the thought that she could have been taken from me—from us. I knew enough to realize that she and her Phoenix called to me and my Gargoyle. I was sure she called to my brothers and their creatures as well.
“What the fuck do we do now?” Killian was frantically pacing the living room, I could feel his tension coming through the connection. He needed something to do, something to accomplish or burn off his energy.
“Kill. Go to the basement and work out some of that frustration on the punching bag. You aren’t any good to her all worked up. There’s no one to go after right now. We need to re-group. We need to take care of Nix.” I didn’t often force authority over the guys but when it came to the protection and needs of the family, my word was law. Even Theo bent to my orders when it came to our protection. It was a unique system, but it worked for us, allowing each of us to showcase our strengths.
Huffing, he stormed past me. “You better fucking include me in the conversation I know you’re about to have. I want in.” He growled as he left the room. He’d thank me later.
Blowing out a breath, I released the tension that had been building since we had gotten that phone call.
“I should have left sooner. I should have caught that asshole. Once again my powers were fucking useless! I may as well be a human for all the good I was to her!” Theo was seething now that the adrenaline was dying down.
“Shh.” I m
otioned to Nix and then tapped to my head, opening the lines of communication as I did. I didn’t want to wake her up, knowing that she needed every second of rest she could get so she could build her strength back up. The sheer amount of energy she must have used when she regenerated was incredible. No wonder her power levels were so damn strong.
A fucking part-blood. Killian snarled and I could feel his determination to decimate the punching bag downstairs.
Why would anyone shoot her? Do you think it was an accident? Hiro looked around the room, making eye contact with all of us. Doubt over his statement shadowed his eyes.
Theo sighed and started pacing in Kill’s place. It’s not a designated hunting area. It’s a public hiking trail. The council could have found out about her. Could they have been testing the theory that she’s a phoenix? Testing to see if she would regenerate?
That’s a fucking serious way to test a bloody theory. If it was one of them I’m going to tear them fucking apart. Killian’s anger came through the connection.
They couldn’t have know that she would regenerate. Her powers could have manifested in other ways. I don’t think it was them. They’d want her to have as many babies as she could—rebuild the population. They’d be insane to fire a kill shot just to test a theory! Ryder’s emotions were all over the place. The whole ordeal was hard on all of us, but I could see him replaying the scene over and over again in his mind as he fought to save her and lost.
Reaching out to him, I tried to calm him down. Ryder. It’s not your fault. She’s alright. She’s right here.
What if she couldn’t regenerate? His shaky breath and the agonized look on his face were almost my undoing. Underneath all Ryder’s quips and bravado was a man who cared deeply. He’d lost so much in his life already and we were the only family he had left. He had barely handled the loss of his sister… I knew that having almost lost Nix, especially having a front row seat to that nightmare, was crippling him.